Chapter 15.2
With shaking hands, he flipped the pages of the diary and read...
"๐จ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐พ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ณ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐จ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ฒ๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐ฒ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐โฆ
๐ฒ๐๐๐โฆ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐โฆ
๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
๐โฆ
๐จ๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐."
Batuk clearly remembered those depressing days in the Roy Chaudhary Mansion, when suddenly their boudi had turned into a stranger who could not live under the same roof with them.
He remembered how sad both his Dada and boudi were.
He remembered how he had offered to tie Dada and Boudi together with a rope, so that no one could separate them.
The painful memory brought fresh tears to his eyes as he read the next few entries.
They had all been written after Bondita had gone to Siliguri and Anirudh missed her like crazy in Tulsipur.
One of the entries from those days caught Batuk's attention as he read,
"๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐...๐ป๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ป๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐?
๐ด๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โฆ
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐!
๐ท๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐. ๐ฏ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ป๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐. ๐จ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ณ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐โฆ ๐ท๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐. ๐ต๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ฒ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐. ๐ด๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐. ๐พ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐...๐ฐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐...๐ฐ ๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐
...๐ฐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐.
๐จ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐. ๐ป๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐. ๐บ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐...๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ป๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฎ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐ด๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ป๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐ณ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฌ๐ต ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ป๐ผ๐ด๐บ๐ฌ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐น๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐ซ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐โฆ
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐จ๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โฆ
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐ณ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐! "
As poignant as the entry was, this time Batuk didn't feel nauseated or squeamish upon reading Anirudh's sentimentality for his pyari Bondita.
In fact, this time Anirudh's words gave him a lot to think about.
Margdarshakโฆ Guruโฆ Bonditaโฆ woh bhi dada ki?
Yeh kia scene hai?
He was genuinely perplexed. He was okay with all the missing and loving accounts of the diary, but why did Anirudh call Bondita all those other things?
Was he not the guru and margdarshak in their relationship?
Suddenly feeling an absurd sense of betrayal, Batuk looked at the diary and grumbled,
"Bloody Hell! What kind of sorcery is this? Yeh inka role reversal kaise aur kab hogya?"
And then all his heightened emotions settled down in a jiffy as realization dawned on him,
Tou baat sirf pyar ki nahi thy.
Baat need ki thy.
Jitni zaruri Bondita thy Big D ke liye, utne hi zaruri shayad Big D bhi honge Bondita ke liye. Tabhi tou woh shuru se le ker abhi tak sab kuch wahi kerty aarhy hai jo Big D chahte thay. With her own touches of course. Lekin is sab ka tou yehi matlab hua ki Jitna invested Big D thay iss rishtay mein, Bondita bhi utni hi thy. The annulment was not her choice. The separation was also not her choice.
Sighing heavily, unable to sit straight, he got up and went towards his room's window.
Gazing at the expanse of the dark sky, he looked at the twinkling stars and a strange thought emerged in his mind,
"Ager Big D tumhare liye aasman thay, tou tum unke liye unka Dhruv Tara thyn Bondita. The one constant in his life. Jo raat ke andhere mein roshni bhi deta hai, aur sahi direction bhi dikhata hai."
Batuk closed his eyes and tiredly leaned his head against the window glass.
It took him a while to recover from the emotional onslaught.
However, the ordeal was still not over.
Heaving a deep breath, he straightened up, and went back to the desk. Sitting back on the chair, he started flipping the pages of the diary from the point he had stopped a while ago.
The next few entries were full of Anirudh's emotions for his Bondita when she was away, the last one mentioning that he was going to meet Bondita at her Thakuma's house in Krishnanagar.
Krishnanagar!
There were no entries from the time they stayed in Krishnanagar, as neighbours to the Das family. But Batuk could now recall the events and also Bihari's dramatic retelling of the story when they returned to Tulsipur.
Batuk remembered how it had all seemed like a grand romance to his teenage-d mind! How Boudi's scary Thakuma had tried to keep Dada away from her. How Dada had made attempt after attempt to be with her! And finally, after a lot of drama, Dada had taken Boudi from her wedding with another man, and they had absconded, going far away to London, to live happily ever after!
Only that there had been no happily ever after!
The mind of an adult could now understand what exactly must have happened back then.
He flinched in pain as he now recalled how his Dada had returned to Tulsipur, all alone, and everything had come crashing down.
Lies!! It was all lies and stories! There was no legend! And no love!
Batuk furiously wiped away his tears and returned to the diary. He came to an entry that was dated after a good 2 months from the last one.
Frowning and wondering what must have happened in those 2 months, he read the entry,
"๐ช๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ณ๐๐๐
๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ฑ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐ณ๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐. ๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐...๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐. ๐ฏ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐ฒ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐ท๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ท๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐ฒ๐๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐ฒ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐โฆ
๐จ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ฒ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐พ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โฆ
๐ด๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ด๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ฑ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ต๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ผ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐. ๐ณ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โฆ ๐ฒ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐?
๐จ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐. ๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
๐ ๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐. ๐พ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ '๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐' ๐๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐. ๐จ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐ฐ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐บ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ฑ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ฐ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐. ๐ต๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐จ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐... ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โฆ ๐ฐ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐. ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐! ๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐?
๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ฐ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ด๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ โฆ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ '๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐' ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ฐ๐'๐โฆ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐จ๐๐ ๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐. ๐ป๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐ฐ๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐. ๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ด๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐...๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐."
Still frowning at such an abrupt yet detailed entry, Batuk thought for a while and he felt super sad at how his brother went all against his heart, and in the process, made Bondita agree to go against her heart too...
Big Dโฆ Loag tou pyar mien doosron ke sath kia kia ker dete hain. Aap tou apne hi dil se khel gayeโฆ Aur aapki har taklif mien aap ke sath, aap ke jitna hi jis ne suffer kia, woh Bondita thy! Koi aur nahi!
Shaking his head to come out of the sudden mist of sadness, he read on the next entry that was almost a week apart.
"๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ฑ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐, ๐ป๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐. ๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐โฆ ๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ป๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐?
๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐!"
The size of the entries was getting shorter. It seemed as if Anirudh just poured his innermost feeling in a haste now.
But then, a realization dawned on Batuk,
Ya shayad Dada Tulsipur aur Krishna Nagar ki dushmani ke beech pisna shuru hogaye thay uss waqt tak.
Kaka ne tabb bhi yeh headache unke hi sarr per daal dia tha.
Batuk clenched his eyes shut as the painful memories of those days started flashing in front of him.
He remembered the poisoning incident, and he remembered how his baba had been brutally hit in the head.
He remembered how lost, how broken, how dead his Dada looked.
He even remembered how he was crying to stay at Tulsipur with the family while Anirudh was sending him away to Italy for his safety.
He had always laid all the blame of this on Bondita too. But now he was looking at the events of the past more clearly. With Anirudh's words narrating exactly what had happened and how Bondita had been reacting in those days, a slow realization finally dawned on him like in its entirety, eliminating all his doubts now:
Bondita had not been the one at faultโฆ
Bondita had not been the one to initiate the dushmaniโฆ
She had not been responsible for baba's mental issuesโฆ
And last but not the least: Anirudh dada had sent me to Italy not because of Bondita, but because he had seen how dangerous the Krishna Nagar people could get. And how personally they could attack. They had already managed to attack kaka and babaโฆ
And he could now understand Anirudh dada's point of view completely about sending him away.
Of courseโฆ It was because Dada didn't want to take any risks with his younger brother's life.
And Bondita was nowhere in these decisions. She was never behind any of those things of which I had become habitual of laying all the blame on her head.
This was something that he had realized while talking to Mallika too, but Anirudh's words had further reinforced it for him now.
Feeling like crap, he rubbed his hand on his face, as if trying to wipe away all the follies of his belief-system!
He then read all the next extremely short entries. They were all about things that Anirudh had had to do in order to maintain peace and decorum within the two villages, but he didn't like doing them one bit.
Some of the entries mentioned other family members too, but Batuk noticed that they had stopped addressing Bondita.
As he continued reading all the entries, he realized that their frequency had also decreased.
Batuk had an uneasy feeling that by that time, his brother had started shutting out all his feelings and emotions. He had stopped sharing his personal thoughts with people.
He didn't have any friendsโฆ and now that Bondita was gone too, his brother must really have felt so lonely.
The only thing with which he still occasionally talked was this diary, and even this talking was getting very less.
"Maybe Bondita wasn't responsible for causing the dushmani! But she was responsible for Big D's state! Woh yahan hoty tou Big D kabhi akele nahi padte!" BRC spoke up again.
This time his sane self didn't need to say anythingโฆ Batuk knew the answer to this accusation.
Kaise aaty woh? Big D aanay bhi nahi dete usey! Aise hi akele suffer karne ki poori planning karke rakhi thi unhone.
Feeling sad for his Big D, he came to an entry that again caught his attention.
"๐จ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ณ๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ฏ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐.
'๐ผ๐๐๐' ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐ด๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐ ๐๐๐.
๐บ๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โฆ ๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐โฆ
๐ด๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐โฆ
๐ด๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐โฆ
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐
... ๐ผ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โฆ
๐ด๐๐๐๐โฆ
โฆ
โฆ
๐ด๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐.
๐ผ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐โฆ
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐โฆ
๐ผ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐โฆ
๐ต๐๐๐โฆ ๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐?"
This entry was pretty haphazard. And Batuk realized that it must have been an excruciatingly emotional experience for his Big D.
Tabhi unhone itna bhi likh dia. Warna woh tou abh dou lafzon se ziada kuch likhte hi nahi hain.
Aur yeh 'uss' is definitely Bondita. Iska matlab hai ki woh wahan se bhi Dada ko contact karne ki koshish kerty thy. Matlab woh Dada ko bhooli nahi thy. Dada ki gurudak...gurudaksh...whatever it wasโฆ uski condition ki wajeh se woh directly contact nahi kerty hogy, mager if Dada 'felt' her, iska matlab hai ki woh sach mien hi hogy wahan. Kyunki Bondita ko le ker Dada ki sari senses hamesha hi buht sensitive rahy hain!
Mager woh bechari iss intizar mien rehty hogy ki kab Dada apne qasam todien geโฆ aur yahan Dada khud hi poore ke poore toot chukay thay!
Wow!
As Batuk grappled with the implications of these thoughts, another stray thought came to him.
Kyaโฆ kya Bondita ko bhi feel hota tha ke Dadaโฆ ke Dada ka yeh haal tha? Kya woh isiliye Dada se baat karna chahty thy?
This meansโฆ Bloody Hell!!
Feeling extremely sad now, he wanted to stop reading the diary as it was constantly proving how wrong he had been.
But, braving it out, he decided to do exactly as he had planned.
There were only three entries now, and they were all years apart from each other.
That surprised Batuk a lot.
Kia Big D ne diary bilkul likhna chhod dia tha uss saray period mien jab Bondita London mein thy?
He was chewing at his lip now and flipping pages to find some clue about Anirudh's life in those days, until he came to one entry that caught his attention,
"๐จ๐๐โฆ ๐ณ๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐จ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐พ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ฑ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐
๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐
๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ผ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐ฑ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐ผ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐๐โฆ
๐ท๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐? ๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ฏ๐๐๐๐?
๐ด๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐ท๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ผ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐ผ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โฆ
๐ด๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐ฏ๐๐๐๐?
๐ด๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐...๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ '๐๐๐๐๐' ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐:
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐,
๐ป๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โฆ
๐ด๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐,
๐ท๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐...๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐,
๐ผ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐,
๐ฉ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐'๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐,
๐๐๐๐
๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โฆ
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โฆ
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โฆ"
[Poem Source: "Saahir's poetry" from the Sony TV's show, "Humsafars" (2014-2015)]
Batuk hadn't realized that he had been holding his breath while reading such a poignant entry. Slowly expelling bated air, his brows furrowed as he read this entry again. It was a long one in comparison to the other entries spanning the period of 8 years.
Not only that, but his brother sounded extremely conflicted in this entry too. It felt as if he was so short of words that he had to resort to poetry to pour down his feelings somehow.
Batuk's heart clenched in pain as he realized that perhaps, while writing this down, his brother's heart must have been bursting with so many emotions, but he tried to kill them all down.
He wanted to mention Bondita, he wanted to attend her convocation, he wanted to talk to her also...but he didn't do any of those things.
A frown marred his forehead as he pondered over Anirudh's "said and unsaid" words.
Mien hamesha sochta tha ki Bondita London mien aish ker rhy thy jab ke yahan mere Dada iss dushmani crap mien phasay hue thay aur uski tuition ki fee bhi de rhe thay.
I used to think that Bondita chose to forget Dada while she was away, partying in London. Lekin Dada ki entries se tou lag rha hai ki Bondita ne unhien kabhi bhoola hi nahi tha.
She had tried to reach out to him, lekin Dada ne hi apne aap ko bilkul shutter down ker lia tha.
And then, a deep sorrow settled in his heart as he thought,
Shayad Dada mien uss time tak itni bitterness bhar gai thy ke woh apne aur Bondita ke relationship ke liye hi completely hopeless hogaye thay.
Mager phir bhiโฆ unke dil mein "uska" khayal rehta hi tha.
Woh chaah ker bhi "uske" khayal se peecha nahi chhuda sakay thay, aur shayad isi liye woh aur ziada koshish kerte thay "usko" yaad na kerne ki!
Stopping himself short, he realized with a start that like Anirudh, he had also started avoiding Bondita's name.
A smile appeared on his lips as he realized how unknowingly he used to copy his Dada's gestures. He shook his head, and then, focused back on the diary.
Flipping the page, he found another entry after a month's period.
"๐พ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โฆ ๐ด๐๐๐โฆ ๐พ๐๐โฆ ๐บ๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ณ๐๐๐
๐๐.
๐พ๐๐โฆ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐โฆ
๐ด๐ ๐๐๐
๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐. ๐ฒ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐?
๐ด๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐. ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐!
๐ผ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐ด๐๐๐โฆ ๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.
๐พ๐๐โฆ
๐ด๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐ด๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ '๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐' ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โฆ
๐ด๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐? ๐จ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐?
๐ถ๐ ๐ฎ๐๐
!!!
๐ท๐๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ป๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐. ๐จ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐ท๐๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐๐๐โฆ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐
๐ต๐๐๐โฆ
๐ฒ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐ท๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐ฉ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
...๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐ป๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
โฆ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐จ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ '๐๐๐' ๐๐๐โฆ
๐จ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐."
[Poem Source: Song- "Mien jahan rahun" from the movie "Namastey London." (2007)]
Batuk felt like his heart was breaking apart into millions of pieces.
He could feel his brother's pain.
He didn't know how his brother even managed to continue breathing with so much hopelessness.
His brother had loved one person so dearly that it was impossible for him to live without her.
And he was made to do exactly that!
Suddenly, feeling angry for his brother, he thought bitterly,
Big D aur Bondita ka juda hona zaruri nahi tha. Even though unki shadi annul hui thy, lekin ager sab haalat normal rehte tou Big D ko apne aap ko Bondita se distance kerne ki zarurat na padti. Woh dono aik long distance relationship mein aik doosre se eventually milne ki aas per woh saray 8 saal guzaar lete. Maana woh 8 years koi contact mein nahi hotay, mager koi umeed tou hotyโฆ
Yahan tou Big D ko koi umeed hi nahi rahy thyโฆ
Aur Bonditaโฆ Usko tou kuch pata hi nahi tha.
And then, his eyes widened as another thought occurred to him, making him feel extremely emotional.
Bloody Hell!!!
Bonditaaa!
Usko kuch pata nahi tha.
Matlab un 8 saalon mein woh aik umeed ke saharay jeety rahy hogy.
Damn!!!
Uski tou sari umeedien India aa ker toot gai hongy.
Ohhh Bloody hell!!! Bondita ne 8 saal separation iss umeed per jhela hoga ke woh Big D se eventually milay gy aur Big D buht proud honge jab woh un dono ka sapna poora ker ke wapis jayegy.
Mager usko tou yahan aa ker apni life ka major shock laga hoga!
And suddenly, it all started making sense as he muttered,
"Tou isi liye shayad Bondita ne woh sab drama kia hoga. Woh uski koi zidd nahi thy, balke shayad apne rishte ko new life dene ki aik koshish thy. Shayad usne give up nahi kia tha tabb tak. Lekin Shayad jab woh bhi bilkul hopeless ho gai hogy tou usne Sanyasini wali saza apne liye chuni hogy!"
He felt extremely sad for both his brother and boudi now.
His inference was further confirmed by Anirudh's next entry that was dated 3 weeks apart from the last one.
"๐ฝ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐โฆ
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐. ๐ด๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐?
๐ผ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐... ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐โฆ
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐? ๐ฝ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐. ๐ท๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐ณ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โฆ
๐ฐ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ด๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ฒ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฝ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ฝ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ '๐๐๐๐' ๐๐ ๐บ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐จ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ฐ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ โฆ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฝ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐."
Batuk clenched his eyes shut as he muttered
"Big Dโฆ nahi kerna tha aisa aap ne apne sath! Woh Vaijโฆ I mean, jo bhi uska naam tha, but uss ladki ko aap ki soul ne recognize ker lia tha on a subconscious level. Miene kaha tha na ki aap ki sari senses hamesha Bondita ke liye buht sensitive rahy hain. You were also right, Dadaโฆ Bondita ko aap waqai 'cellular level' per jaantay thay. Tabhi tou yeh Vaijโฆ Vaijiโฆ I mean, tabhi tou yeh ladki aap ko itni jaani pehchani si lag rhy thy. "
Opening his eyes again, he wondered sadly,
Pata nahi yeh sab drama kerte hue Bondita ke dil per kia guzar rahy hogy?
I know how hard it is. Miene bhi itne months Big D bannay ka drama kia tha. Mien Big D se jitna bhi similar kyun na hon, it is a fact ke humari personalities bilkul alag hain. And it was really hard for me to mimic him. Aur kis terha apne real emotions ko hide kerna paddta thaโฆ It was all so so so difficult. I can imagine what Bondita must have been going through at that time.
Sighing heavily, he moved onto the next page. This entry was only 2 days from the last one.
"๐ฝ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐บ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐ฑ๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐ฒ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฝ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐?
๐ณ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐.. ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐ท๐๐โฆ ๐ด๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ฐ๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐...๐ฐ ๐๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐ฐ ๐๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐? ๐ผ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐...๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐?
๐ด๐๐๐๐ ๐ฝ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐?
๐จ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐ ๐๐๐ ๐
๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐น๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐จ๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฝ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐จ๐๐
๐๐๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐โฆ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐!
๐ถ๐ ๐ฎ๐๐
! ๐จ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐?"
Batuk's eyes narrowed down and he counted the times his Big D wrote Bondita's name, after not taking it at all for almost around 8 long years!
What was happening to Big D? Aur yeh dada ka koi secret room bhi tha jahan unhone Bondita ki sari memories hide ki hui thyn?
Gingerly recalling the strange poem that Anirudh had used as a leverage to express his feeling, he gasped loudly,
"Bloody hell!!! Dada ne waqai aik jagha Bondita ki sari yaadien sambhaal ker rakhy thyn!!!"
Suddenly feeling claustrophobic at the onslaught of such heavy emotions of his Dada, he felt as if he himself was stuck in a dark room. He couldn't understand his brother's behavior.
On one hand, his brother had tried to shun Bondita out of his life, but on the other, he built a shrine of her memories!!!
Aik taraf Big D Bondita ko bhoolne ki koshish kerte thay, aur doosry taraf usi Bondita ko na bhoolne ke liye uski sari yaadon ko samait ker bhi rakha hua tha.
Aik taraf woh cold and calculated Anirudh Roy Chaudhary bannay ki koshish kerte thay, lekin uss Vaijโฆ Vaiji ke samnay 'the Real Anirudh Roy Chaudhary'...no... actually 'Bondita's Anirudh Roy Chaudhary' had started to make appearances too!
Oh Dada! What freaking crap you had gotten yourself into? Yeh kaisi aziyat thy?
Tears formed in his eyes as he felt his brother's loneliness and depression in those days.
He himself had first hand experience with those things too, and his heart just squeezed in pain as he whispered brokenly,
"Tou Dadaโฆ aap bhi meri terha internal wars ladte rahay ho. Miene tou sirf family se duuri ka dukh saha tha, aap ne tou woh woh dukh sahay hain jo mien imagine bhi nahi ker sakta. Aur Bonditaโฆ I can now see clearly ke Bondita aap ke liye oxygen jaisi thy. Jab aap ne usko apne aap se duur kia tou aap ne tou shayad jeena hi chhod dia hoga!"
And then, wiping his tears, he thought,
Miene hamesha socha tha ki mujhse ziada tragic kisi ki life nahi hogy. Mager Dada, aap ki aur boudi ki tragedies ke aagay tou I don't think miene aisa kuch jhela hai. Mien Bondita ko aap ke liye curse samajhta tha. But now I know that woh curse nahi thyโฆ woh vardaan thy aap ke liye.
Mujhe hamesha aap ka Bondita ke prati lagaav buht unjustified and overrated lagta tha. Mager abh mujhe samajh aaya hai ki woh lagaav unjustified nahi tha.
Aur naa hi woh one-sided tha.
Sighing heavily, his own words resonated in his ears that he had spoken to Mallika a few days ago,
"๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ธ๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐-๐ ๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ฑ๐๐ ๐ณ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฑ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ข๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐. ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ข๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐ฑ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ข๐. ๐ป๐๐๐๐ ๐ฑ๐๐๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ข๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฑ๐๐ ๐ณ, ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ธ ๐๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ข๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐. ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ข ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฑ๐๐ ๐ณ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ข๐ ๐๐๐๐. ๐ฑ๐๐ ๐ณ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฑ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.โ
He flinched as he realized how erroneous his thinking was. It was indeed a miraculous day and Batuk Roy Chaudhary's brain was in a super-power mode. His inner sensitive, logical reasoning self was able to read and understand all the said and unsaid words of his brother.
And math had been his strongest pursuit since ever.
So, calculating the facts and doing the math now wasn't hard for him as he reached some conclusions:
Big D hamesha Bondita ke liye sacrifices kerte aye hain, true. Lekin Bondita ne bhi apna sab kuch unke liye daav per laga dia tha
Big D ne usko har terha ki resources diyeโฆ physical protection bhi di. Lekin Bondita ne woh sab cheezien apna birthright samajh ker nahi li thyn. Moreover, Bondita ne unse sirf "liya" hi nahi tha. Clearly, usne Big D ko bhi buht kuch diya tha. At least, unko har terha ki moral aur emotional support tou di hi thy โฆ aur zinda rehne ki wajeh bhi!
Woh khud Big D se duur nahi hui thy. Big D ne usko apne aap se duur kia tha
And now I just can't thank Bondita enough. Ager woh zidd na kerty, koshish na kerty, tou Big D ka heart sealed hi reh jata...aur woh hamesha aik zinda laash ki terha hi reh jatay.
I am glad Bondita ne uss time apni marzi chalai. Woh drama kia. Kyunki ager woh nahi kerty...ager woh Vaiji...Vaiji ko beech mien na laaty, usko Big D ke dil ka "door stopper" na banaty, tou unka dil hamesha hamesha ke liye locked reh jata. Uss lock ki key sirf aur sirf Bondita thy, aur mien uska jitna dhanyavaad kerun woh kamm hoga ke usne apni persistence aur tenacity ko use ker ke Big D ke dil ka lock khol dia. Kyunki ager woh yeh sab na kertyโฆ tou Big D apne hi created hell mien hamesha ke liye stuck reh jatay!
He felt as if he had been running for too long, and finally, he had reached a spot where he could rest for a while.
His heart was finally at peace. It no longer burned with anger for his brother's misfortunes. He also knew now that he wouldn't be able to blame Bondita for anything.
No matter how much peace had washed over him, the dull ache in his heart was still there and he couldn't get rid of it.
It was the ache of guilt...remorseโฆ and anguish.
Taking a deep breath, he shifted his focus back to the diary.
The next entry made his eyes flood again.
"๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐โฆ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐โฆ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐.
๐ฏ๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐โฆ
๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐จ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐ ๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ด๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ฝ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โฆ ๐ด๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ด๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ณ๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐ฑ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐?
๐จ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ต๐จ๐ฏ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐?
๐จ๐h ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐ฝ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐. ๐จ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ณ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐? ๐ผ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ผ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐.
๐ฉ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
.
๐ฑ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐? ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐. ๐จ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฝ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐!
๐ป๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
!!!"
A chuckle escaped Batuk's lips as he softly said with eyes still wet with his tears,
"Kyunki mere buddhu Dada, WOH BONDITA THY! Aur Bondita bechari kaise khush hoskty thy jab aap kisi bhi Vaiji...shaiji ke liye shadi ko haan ker rhe thay tou."
As his fingers wiped the tears rolling down his cheeks, his smile turning painful and he whispered,
"Bonditaโฆ Apne dil per kitne zakham sahay hain tumne? Big D ko bilkul badlay hue roop mein dekhna, unka tum ko milne se refuse kerna, tumhara naam tak na lenaโฆ Yeh sab se kitni taklif hui hogy tumkoโฆ haina? Aur phir, jab unhone finally accept ker lia ki woh sirf tumhare hain, tab kitni khushi hui hogy na tumhien. Lekin Bondita, iss sab ladai mein tum bilkul akeli hogy na? Dushmani ki bawajood apni jaan ko khatray mein daalti rahyn sirf iss liye taaki tumko wahi Dada mil jayein jinse tum ne prem kia thaโฆ That must have been tough for youโฆ haina?"
Softly running his finger over Bondita's name, he thought,
Jab koi dost nahi hota aise waqt mein, tou kitna akela feel hota haiโฆ I know. Aur tum se tou tumhara sab se pyara, sab se aziz dost hi kho gaya tha. I have recently gone through this too. But I am luckyโฆ mere pas Shashu haiโฆ meri Mallika haiโฆ aur mere taciturn lekin sweet se Dada bhi hain. And now I have learned ke duur se hi sahi, lekin TUM bhi thyn mere sath Bondita. I can't be thankful enough nowโฆ
His sentimental train of thought was interrupted with another recollection - a very recent one, when he had profusely thanked Bondita and she had appearedโฆ sad, and hurt!!
Suddenly all the distress that he was feeling earlier, before he had started reading the diary came back with a force.
And then, his eyes widened as he re-read Anirudh's entry.
A low gasp escaped his mouth once more as he did the math again:
Wait a minute!
Jab Bondita woh Vaiji bani hui thy, aur Dada ne usko shadi ke liye haan bola tha, tou khush hone ki bajaye woh udaas hui thy.
Jab Dada ne usko refuse kia tou woh khush hogai! Yani opposite reactions to seemingly obvious situations isliye thay kyunki woh uss waqt dil se kuch aur chahty thy.
Isi terha jab miene Bondita se baat kerna shuru ki aaj tou uske face per aik khushi aur hope si agai thy.
Mager jab miene usko Thank you bola tou woh khush hone ke bajaye udaas hogai!!!
Ohh Bloody Hell!!!
Bondita aur uske twisted signals!!
Woh aaj bhi yehi ker rhy thy!
Woh pagal mujhse Thank you nahi sunna chahty thy. Woh mujhe dekh ker waise hi khush hogai thy. Mere thank yous ki train ne usko HURT kia tha!!!
Shit!!! I didn't want to hurt her again.
Lekinโฆ Jo woh mujhse actually sunna chahty thyโฆ woh mien keh hi nahi paaya.
Aur isi liye meri wajeh se Bondita phir se hurt hogai.
Squeezing his eyes shut this time, he whispered,
"But you deserve to hear it, Bondita...You really do!"
Vowing in his heart to make amends, he opened his eyes and shifted his focus back to the diary.
There were several entries left now.
One of them was the entry that Batuk had read the first thing- the entry that had actually prompted him to read the entire diary from the beginning.
He now understood in a better way why Bondita had chosen that Sanyasini punishment for herself back then, and why his Dada had gone bonkers over it.
He chuckled now as he realized,
Dekha jaye tou Bondita ki zidd ne hi Dada ko unke shell se baahir nikala. Ager Bondita woh Sanyasini wala challenge na lety, tou Dada kabhi ki inner feelings jin ko unhone lock ker ke rakha tha, woh baahir nahi aaty. Woh aanay lagty bhi tou bhi Dada unko suppress ker dete.
Moving onto the next entries, he noticed how his Dada was breaking apart, completely tearing down in those days when Bondita wasn't listening to him.
His brows furrowed as his heart started aching over and over again because of the emotional trauma his Big D was going through.
"๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐?
๐ด๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โฆ
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ณ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ป๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.
๐จ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โฆ
๐ด๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐...๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐?
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐พ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐!
๐ฒ๐๐๐? ๐ฒ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐? ๐ผ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐...๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐?
๐ฒ๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐?
๐ฎ๐๐
! ๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ผ๐ ๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐-๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐. ๐พ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ซ๐๐๐๐ ๐ด๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ โฆ ๐ฒ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐!!!"
This time, Batuk actually counted how many times Anirudh had used "Meri" and "Apni" for Bondita.
It felt as if he was so emotional, so desperate at that time that he literally poured just about every feeling in that entry:
The feeling of anguish, the desperation, the pain that he was feeling because Bondita was in pain, the anger, the helplessnessโฆ and above everything else: an overwhelming feeling of love loomed over the entire entry.
Batuk felt as if his Dada must have broken completely by thenโฆ
But some other desperate and frantic entries were also there following this one.
The frequency of the entries had dramatically surged during this whole episode. Which made Batuk realize that perhaps this was the lowest point in his Dada's life.
8 saalon se apne dil se ladte ladte thak chuke thay. Aur iss point per aa ker unki bardasht ki seema khatam hogai thy. Unke samnay Bondita thy tou sahi, lekin woh uss se kuch keh hi nahi paa rahay thay. Aur shayad isi liye iss period mien Dada ne itni sari entries ki hain diary mien...Un becharon ke pas iss dost ke ilawah shayad koi aur tha hi nahi uss waqt.
An insane amount of sadness engulfed him whole as he read the next couple of entries that were almost made daily.
Learning how Bondita had gotten angry made him smile.
Sahi tou hai! Hamesha wahi bhaagty rehty thy Dada ke peeche. Accha hai, abh Dada uske peeche bhaag rahay hain!
And then, he came to the point after almost a month where Anirudh mentioned how everything turned out and how he decided to abduct Bondita from Krishna Nagar!
There wasn't anything more related to those incidents, but Batuk recalled his discussion with Shashu-bear a while ago. She had mentioned that Big D had managed to elope with Bondita, and they were supposed to get married then.
Tou iska matlab hai ki Big D apni roothy hui Bondita ko mananay mein successful hogaye honge. How sweet! Bhaag ker shadi ker rahay thay dono!
Still smiling, he moved onto the second-last entry. In it, Anirudh had been blasting about how Kaka had tried to get Shashwati married just to blackmail Anirudh and to prevent his marriage from happening.
Batuk felt his mouth filling with bile as he recalled his Shashu-bear relating that scarring, horrifying incident too!
He winced in pain when he read how sorry Anirudh was for leaving Bondita alone at the mandap.
Bechari Bonditaโฆ itne saray misfortunes ke baad she even had to face the embarrassment of being a jilted bride!
Bloody Hell TRC!!! Aap ne life mien kuch sahi kia bhi hai ya nahi?
But then, his sadness turned into a small smile as he read Anirudh's accounts of how Bondita had actually understood him, and stood with him, despite all the opposition and oppression she faced from her own family.
Batuk smiled fondly as he thought,
So, Big D ki Margdarshak ne hi unko aik baar phir sahi raasta chunnay mien help ki thy.
After that, there was only one entry made, and that too, after a period of a couple of months.
Batuk roughly knew the events that had led to his Big D and boudi's remarriage, so he understood why Big D must not have been needing the diary anymore.
Unki life mien unki Bondita wapis agayee thy...aur sab sahi hogya tha. I am sure Big D aur Bondita kitne ziada khush honge.
After Anirudh's last entry, Batuk had made a partition and had used the other half of that same diary when he was in the Roy Chaudhary Haveli as Anirudh himself.
Now, he turned the page to read this last entry which was made a week before Anirudh and Bondita met with that drowning incident.
โ๐ฉ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ท๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐. ๐ฒ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ฝ๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐! ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐จ๐๐๐โฆ ๐ฒ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐พ๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ฏ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ณ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐ฒ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐บ๐๐๐๐-๐ช๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐โฆ ๐ณ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐
๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ฏ๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐!
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐บ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ฐ๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
๐ณ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐พ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โฆ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐?
๐ฒ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐. ๐พ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐
, ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ผ๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐จ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐จ๐๐
๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐!
๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐ท๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐โฆ๐ด๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โฆ ๐พ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐.โ
Tears rolling down his cheeks incessantly, he closed the diary and laid his head over it's smooth, black surface and cried.
โBig Dโฆ mere pyare Dadaโฆ I am so sorry. I am so sorryโฆ I am really very sorry. Aap ne mujh se kia kia umeedien lagai thyn, mager mien un mein se kisi aik per bhi khara nahi utra. Dadaโฆ I broke your trust. I broke your heart. And I broke your hopes too. I โฆ I swear Dada mien abh badal jaonga. Mien abh waisa hi bann jaonga jaise aap ki wish hai. Mager please, aap mujhe maaf ker dien. Apne laadlay, chhote bhai ko maaf ker dien.โ
And then, a realization made him halt.
Raising his head from the diaryโs surface, he wiped his tears and muttered to himself,
โActually, Dada ne mujhe maaf ker hi dia hai. Tabhi woh meri chinta kerte hain. Aaj bhiโฆ Woh mujhse ziada khush thay ke mien Rudhir aur Aaradhya se mil paa raha hun. Yeh sab, aur unki care show kerta hai ki Dada ne mujhe maaf ker dia hai. Mager I know. Humare beech mein sab kuch tab tak 100% sahi nahi hoskta jab tak mien woh na ker lun jo sab se ziada zaruri hai.โ
The sun was rising now, and a few rays of the sun had entered his room through the window too.
He knew, in only a few minutes, his room would be completely illuminated as the light of the sun would kill all the darkness around them.
Theek usi terha, jaise meri aur mujhse juday hue loagon ki lives mein bhi abh roshni hogy.
A hopeful smile blooming on his handsome face, he wiped the last traces of his tears, and with the determination of an extremely brave man, he opened the diary again. Quickly flipping to his section of the diary, he took out a pen and scribbled,
"Judgment is not about destruction, but about setting things right. And I promise today, that I. Batuk Roy Chaudhary, will set everything right again for myself and for my family!"
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