A/N:
I know that I'm again late.. But a lot was happening! First of all I had my annual exams and then, my health deteriorated..that's why I couldn't update! Now I'm finally free but health issues persists!
So here goes the update!
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Seher
She looked up in his eyes. They were sincere and pure.
"Are you sure you want to hear this?" I asked.
"I've never been so sure!" He replied firm.
She took a deep breath, and made her way to the balcony. Zahir followed her quietly, giving her time to prepare herself for it!
This is it seher! Abb chhupakar koi fyaada nahi hai.. He's very serious about you.. Aur tu yeh baat jaanti hai! Phir shayad Mihika ki baat bhi sahi hai I have to let it go someday!
Zahir who was standing beside her patiently observing her, "Main intezaar kar raha hu!"
"Aap bahout ziddi hai." I said sensing his impatience.
Zahir chuckled, "I know!"
With a deep sigh, I began, "Jaisa maine aapko bataya tha I belong to a middle class family. Chota sa parivar hai Delhi mein. Ammi, abbu, main aur Aqira! Sweet little family. Abbu government job mein the aur apne usulo ke pakke the. Mujhme aur Aqira mein jaan basti thi unki. Unki salary kam thi lekin Jo bhi tha jaisa bhi tha hum sab khush the. Kabhi bhi kisi bhi cheez ki kami nahi mehsoos hone di ammi abbu ne! Jo maanga woh diya.. Phir sab badal gaya!
Mujhe yaad hai uss din mera aakhri board exam tha Jo ki bahout achha hua. Main kafi khush thi kyunki lagbhag saare he exams achhe hue the. Jab main ghar pahuchi toh kuch mehmaan aaye hue the. Main salam dua karke andar apne kamre mein chali gayi. Tabhi ammi andar aayi aur kehne lagi ke taiyaar ho kar bahir aa jao. Mujhe kuch ajeeb laga par maine ignore kar diya. Jaisa jaisa ammi kehti rahi main waisa waisa karti gayi. Aakhir mein mehmaano mein se ek buzurg aurat meri ammi ke paas aayi aur unhe gale laga kar kehne lagi ki unhe yeh rishta manzoor hai! Ghar mein sab ki khushi ka thikana nahi tha.. Aur wahin doosri taraf main hairaan thi.. I.. I just couldn't understand what was happening?! Rishta manzoor hai se kya matlab? Main chup chap kamre mein chali gayi. Maine kabhi sapne mein bhi nahi socha tha shaadi ke baare mein.. Main sirf padhna chahti thi.. Apne pairo par khada hona chahti thi.." I said as a lone tear rolled down.
" Usi raat ammi kamre aayi aur maine unse kaha ki main shaadi nahi karna chahti main padhna chahti hu, tab ammi ne bataya ki Aasif aur unke parivaar walo ko mere shaadi ke baad padhne se koi dikkat nahi hai! Meri jaan mein jaan aayi par phir bhi main bahout khush nahi thi iss rishte ko lekar! Magar ammi abbu ke liye main shaadi par taiyaar ho gayi. Mera aur Aasif ka nikaah ho gaya. Chand hafto baad unka transfer Mumbai ho gaya. Main kabhi Delhi se bahir nahi gayi thi so I was excited aur Mumbai toh hai he sapno ka sheher. Hum Mumbai aa gaye apni ek choti si duniya basaane!" I stopped, to gulp the huge lump formed in my throat.
"Shuruvati kuch din behadd khubsoorat the bilkul fairytale ki tarah magar phir dheere dheere zindagi ki haqiqat saamne aane lagi! Aasif turned out to be a very controlling guy with serious anger management issues. Unhe har cheez apne hisaab se chahiye thi, kuch bhi unke according na ho toh gussa ho jate the. Gusse ka yeh haal tha ki jo haath mein aata tha use uthakar pekh dete the." I wiped the tears streaming down my face.
"Mere Abbu bahout shant swabhav ke hai, maine kabhi apne ghar mein kisi ko iss tarah gussa aur cheeze uthakar pekhte hue nahi dekha tha, isiliye jab bhi Aasif ko gussa ata toh main sehm jaati. Haalaki jab gussa utarta toh woh har mumkin koshish karte mujhe manane ki.. kabhi ice-cream khilane le jaate, kabhi kahin ghumane. Kayi dafa mujhe samjh nahi aata tha ki main unke iss gesture pe khush hu yaa upset?! Samay beeta, abb unke gusse ka shikar aksar main banti thi. Mera poora din yeh sochne mein beet jata tha aisa kya karu ki Aasif ko gussa na aaye.. y..yaa kya karne se unhe gussa aa jayega? Mera darr unki taqat banta gaya!" I paused again to compose myself.
She saw Zahir's tight grip around balcony railing, such was the grip that the edges of his palms has turned white. He stared through the darkness of the night as he turned to look at her, "Tumne.." then, with a deep breathe, "Tumne apni family ko kyu kuch nahi bataya? Kyu sehti rahi?" he questioned.
She let out a sarcastic laugh, "You seriously think its that easy?! Main darti thi ki agar Aasif ko pata chal gaya ki maine apne parents ko kuch bataya hai toh woh mujhe aur maarega.. aur kahin na kahin main ammi-abbu ko pareshaan nahi karna chahti thi.. main issi ummeed ke saath ki ek din sab theek ho jayega.. jeeti rahi! Phir jab sehna mushkil ho gaya toh bahout himmat juta kar ammi ko iss bare mein bataya! Ammi ne mujhe dilasa dekar ki sab thik ho jayega allah pe yakeen karo baat khatam kardi!" I struggled to find words to narrate further.
"Hum bhale he 21st century mein reh rahe hai lekin humari society ki mentality aaj bhi pichhdivi hai, aaj bhi log issi baat mein believe karte hai ki kuch bhi ho jaye.. chahiye shauhar kitna bhi maare, kitna bhi torture kare, zehni taur pe, sharirik taur pe, maansik taur pe, saho aur apna rishta nibhao! Hum women empowerment ki baatein zaroor karte hai magar kuch.. kuch practically nahi karte! Aapko kya lagta hai humare neighbors ko nahi pata tha ki Aasif mere saath kaisa saluk karta hai? Unhe kya meri cheekh nahi sunayi deti hogi? Bhashan har koi deta hai.. magar jab kuch karne ki baari aati hai sab peeche hat jaate hai!" I said, with anger rising suddenly.
"Whatever..Ammi ka yeh jawab maine kabhi expect nahi kiya tha! Phir ek din har limit cross ho gayi.. Aasif ke office mein ek party thi. Mere chehre par kuch din pehle ki haatha pai ke nishaan the, unhe chhupane ke liye maine thoda make-up kar liya. Party mein Aasif ke ek colleague ne meri tareef kardi, you know a formal compliment. Ghar pahuchkar the first thing I remember is a tight slap on my face. I was shocked beyond limits. Main samjh nahi payi ki mujhe thapadd pada kyu? Phir usne woh confusion bhi door kar di.. kya kya gande ilzaam lagaye usne! Mere character, mera family background, mere parents.. kisi ko nahi chhoda! Mere ko bhi gussa aagaya.. humari khub ladai hui.. end mein gusse mein aakar uske haath pehli jo bhi cheez aayi uthakar meri taraf pekh di! Mujhe nahi yaad woh kya tha, par main behosh ho gayi! Agle din jab mujhe hosh aaya toh main hospital mein thi..." He looked thoroughly confused at my confession.
"Guilt was all over his face. Mujhe realize ho gaya tha ki something has gone terribly wrong." I stopped again to see his reaction and then with a deep breath, I reached out for my scarf. What lay behind made him flinch with horror. There was an ugly scar running across her neckline, so horrifying that he had to shift his gaze away and close his eyes in utter disgust.
"It was a knife that was charged upon me!" I finally let it out. "Main seriously marte marte bachi! Uske baad the first thing I had in my mind was to get rid of this man as soon as possible! Maine sabse pehle divorce ke liye file kiya.. as usual use gussa aya and stuff but main iss baari determined thi.. meri family ne bahout koshish ki mera decision change karne ki.. hazaar tarah ke pressure banay.. finally maine Aasif ko FIR ki dhamki di.. kuch nurse ne mujhe support kiya jinhone mera khyaal rakha tha hospital mein.. mere paas witness the.. kuch neighbours ko bhi maine convince kar liya.. mujhe sirf pressure banana tha Aasif pe that's it! Aasif had no choice left.. I got divorced! My life in that house was nothing but a living hell for those 8 months. Ghar wapis gayi toh Ammi Abbu ne saare rishte khatam kar diye yeh kehkar ki jab maine unki izzat ki parvah nahi ki toh unhe bhi meri parvah nahi hai. Unhone yeh bhi reason kiya ki agar main unke saath rahi toh Aqira ke liye koi ache khandaan ka rishta nahi aayega!"
"Main Mumbai wapis aa gayi aur women's hostel mein rehne lagi.. main apni padhai continue karne ke bare mein soch rahi thi lekin uske liye I needed money.. toh maine ek do schools mein maths teacher ke liye apply kiya.. I got the job, completed my studies and here I am standing!" I finished my story, wiping off the tears.
Zahir looked at her for a while in awe. One could see the proud in his eyes. He began to say something, then stopped for a while, " I.. I really don't know what to say!"
"You don't have to say anything! I understand.. infact agar yeh sab jaanne ke baad you don't wish to marry me I understand! No man would want his wife to be so scarred with past.. and honestly speaking, main khud iss tarah ke relationship mein nahi involve hona chahti. I don't have that stamina anymore!" I replied in a go, maybe an attempt to hide my disappointment and turned away.
"Nahi nahi.. not in that way!" Zahir corrected, "I have no words for your courage...I respect your past and believe me, I still wish to marry you! In fact I'm more determined now.. Life mein humesha sab kuch bura nahi hota, achha waqt bhi aata hai bas kabhi kabhi thoda time lag jata hai uss ache waqt ko aane mein." he said as he held her palms in his.
"Tumne abhi tak sirf bura waqt dekha.. aur uska akele saamna kiya, par abb achha waqt aayega. Bahout struggle kar liya tumne, abb aur nahi ! I promise tumhari aakhon mein kabhi bhi aansu nahi aane dunga.. aur jahan tak baat rahi tumse shaadi karne ki.. main apne aapko bahout khushnaseeb samjhunga agar tum meri zindagi ka hissa banogi aur main yeh isliye bilkul nahi keh raha hu kyunki mujhe tumse koi humdardi hai par main sach mein yeh manta hu ki tumhare jaisa life partner kisi bahout lucky insaan ko he milega and I wish to be that lucky person.." He said with sincerity dripping from his voice.
She looked at him unbelievingly, too overwhelmed to say anything, "You'll regret it!"
"I won't ! Please give me a chance!"
"Main shayad kabhi aapko uss tarah pyaar na de pau jo aap deserve karte hai.."
"Mere liye tumhara hona he kaafi hai.."
I smiled as fresh tears made their way.
"Shh.. no more crying!" Zahir said as he cupped her face.
"I want you to tell your parents abt.. everything!"
Zahir nodded, "Fine.."
She smiled wide, and so did Zahir as he rested his forehead on hers as they stood there secured in each other's embrace.
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Edited by pcnsb - 8 years ago
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