She is Priya Ram Kapoor - Page 2

I dont see it as transfer of ownership. I am married & continue to use my maiden name formally & informally. I see it as a transfer of identification as to who is her ‘family’ and who she ‘belongs’ to in the sense of primary relationship, priority and loyalty. Sometime after marriage both spouses experience this - their identification of ‘my family’ and their number 1 relationship tranfers from their parents to the spouse. We moved abroad after our marriage and for a couple of yrs I used to refer to my parents home as ‘my home’ and somehow over the years that became ‘my parents’ home’ and this became my home’. When someone asked do u live with your family, I wld initially think of my parents & siblings, that shifted to thinking abt my spouse. This is the change I am referring to, which according to current social convention (chsnging already in some societies) is represented for women as thinking of oneself as Mrs so & so. Men tend to articulate it as ‘mere biwi bachche’.

Originally posted by: Bana

I dont see it as transfer of ownership. I am married & continue to use my maiden name formally & informally. I see it as a transfer of identification as to who is her ‘family’ and who she ‘belongs’ to in the sense of primary relationship, priority and loyalty. Sometime after marriage both spouses experience this - their identification of ‘my family’ and their number 1 relationship tranfers from their parents to the spouse. We moved abroad after our marriage and for a couple of yrs I used to refer to my parents home as ‘my home’ and somehow over the years that became ‘my parents’ home’ and this became my home’. When someone asked do u live with your family, I wld initially think of my parents & siblings, that shifted to thinking abt my spouse. This is the change I am referring to, which according to current social convention (chsnging already in some societies) is represented for women as thinking of oneself as Mrs so & so. Men tend to articulate it as ‘mere biwi bachche’.

That's totally fine and good. But wouldn't men have parents too, as they generally live together. But this surname change and it's unwanted glorification doesn't sit right with me. And this new era with aadhar se pan card Tak it would be a really stupid thing to do as women are also working! Waise Priya toh bhool gayi that she had a job like all ITV bahu. I was okay with Priya being Kapoor as she was never really Sood! Only if she could be Priya Meera instead of having to fix a man's name in for an identity! And the man left them too

What a beautiful explanation. Alas, situations are different, but in the case of Rama and Priya, this is the best version, then how I perceive it - you become part of a family that you will grow and develop yourself, you become close to a person who shares everything with you: time, feelings , thoughts, air, water, food, things. It becomes a part of you, but does not absorb. His last name is the common pride that you carry together through life

They say that after years of marriage, husband and wife start looking similar. They will be things that would have changed on both sides. Husband starts imbibing wife's habits and vice versa. Anyways, I don't believe in changing name after marriage or kid having the surname of the father. However, it has been followed across the world, not just in India, it will take time to change. Also, why should parents name the kid? Cant the kid not get his/her name as per his/her wish? One of my nieces changed her name once she started going to school. She just added her new name to what her parents had given. It's a good change.

The fact that the name is chosen by the person himself is wonderful, keeping your name from your parents is also wonderful, we should be able to make a choice according to our hearts, leave something or remove it. In Russia, the name of the father is officially added to the name, this is called the patronymic. In order to change something, there are no restrictions. As far as a man is concerned, a husband can take his wife's surname from us, it seems to me that it's very nice when you give your spouse something from yourself. If I were to get married, I would keep my surname along with the surname of my husband, we also allow this. And we also have a saying about the similarity of spouses, which grows with time, it's true. It sounds like this: "Husband and wife are one Satan."