Is AB setting a bad example?contin pg 3

I am actually not referring to the corruption that we have seen in the show actually if anything its great that they did show it and this actually seems in line from what I have heard ab India from others who have been there or have relatives staying there. ' Sorry AB fans in India I know every1 is not the same but coz of a few rotten eggs India just happens to have an extremely bad name when it comes to corruption. I have heard a number of times that in india u can't get anything done without having to pay some1 . Or in an office 99% of the ppl are corrupt. I remember a while ago( u can correct me if I am wrong coz it was a long time ago) there was a story ab a farmer I think who had tried to get help for some land and the department he went to refused to help him until he gave them a bribe and than he put a bunch of snakes in their office. So I have to say that I have liked the fact that they showed tt and his side kick bribing 2 officials at the same time.

But coming to the meaning of my post we have watched 3 very different scenes of a man raising his hand against a woman but in all there has been 1 commonality that being that the woman has been at fault, that she has deserved this behavior. I have to say that all 3 times I have totally agreed with these women being slapped when Krishna knowingly took the questions papers knowing full well that her family doesn't have the money to pay for it Ravi's actions where correct. If I had an elder even smaller brother/sister I would want them to want to slap me if I did something so stupid. When Pintu slapped her it took me time to accept wholeheartedly that his actions where right but once I did I realized that Krishna had been like a person in shock who needed the slap but also coz she had overstepped her boundaries with him and she had it coming. I have the same views in regard to Pinky how I wish she did receive that slap but more than that if I was there I would have slapped her myself.

So my problem isn't actually with whether the slap or attempted slaps are right or wrong but my problem is that we live in a society which doesn't respect woman anymore. In most domestic violence cases woman often stay in the relationship coz they are made to feel that they have in someway brought this on themselves, they deserved it coz woman nag, they can't control their mouths so they need to be physically abused to bring them in line. So the cts of AB by showing that Pintu and Ravi actions where correct are in some ways saying that the thinking of these abusers are right. I am not in anyway saying that Pintu is a woman beater coz I understand that this character reacts instinctively he isn't doing it with an intention and once he realizes what he has done he immediately repents.

But that being said I will say that I have loved the fact that in both Ravi and Pintu's case their uncontrollable outbursts are actually coz their life's are somehow not in control. In real life I don't think most cases of domestic violence the man does it for the heck of it( does it coz he enjoys it) in most cases the man behaves this way coz he isn't able to make ends meet, he is stressed, no job and this causes him to lose control ( I am in no way saying that coz of these reason this sort of behavior is acceptable in any way but I have often heard these are some of the excuses that are given for their actions). Like in Ravi's case he was very unhappy ab the fact that he didn't have a job so couldn't provide for his family and this made him frustrated, angry and quick to react emotionally and aggressively. Pintu on the other hand might not have financial issues like Ravi but his family life is in turmoil it's always tense, ready to explode with a single word from either tt or Babloo. So him hitting those idiots in the cinema and I think him slapping and wanting to slap the girls is actually him trying to get back power and control.

So Pintu fans I am also a fan of him as well I don't need any justification for my jaans actions coz I already know that he is right. My question/ problem is that by continually showing that this sort of behavior is right by a man are the cts setting a bad example with the show. I do have full faith in the ct of the show that we will soon get a scene soon where Pintu will realize that he shouldn't be so quick to raise his hand when angered but I do wish they do it soon.

👏Great Post Sandia! I was thinking about the two slaps aswell. Well the almost slap

Originally posted by: UrshP

👏Great Post Sandia! I was thinking about the two slaps aswell.

Getting to your point, showing violence and it is violence if its juts a slap aswell in Afsar Bitiya maybe giving the wrong message as in India and everywhere else it happens often, where women will not or can't defend themselves against a Mans beating.

There are many people on the forum. Myself you and others who can understand that Pintu in particular is not a violent man and a wife-beater but as you said uncontrollable outburst" We here a quite mature but some people younger or older may think its okay to Hit women or that women to accept this.

I hope I made some sense in this post

u always make perfect sense love😊 and loved your reply. the highlighted parts was what i was thinking the fans that are on the forum are very intelligent and senseable they understand these characters. but how many ppl just watch a show and dnt think ab whats being shown they dnt think ab these characters in detail- we here we all understand the way Pintu is bt some1 who is obsinate in their ways will see it and say i told u so woman deserve the beating and will feed them on to carry on with their behavior. some ppl are dumb no offence they would think this way and this is waht scares me

This is a very interesting question.

We can look at it on two ways, from the perspective of reality, as you have and alternatively from the perspective of television right now. For me, the physical abuse we have seen in AB so far has been dealt with very sensitively, I feel. I am not condoning it but it does show facets of reality and more importantly enhances characterisation.

In terms of Ravi, he clearly did have control issues and frustration but that is no excuse for what he did. There were other ways he could have made Krishna understand her mistake and she was already guilty anyway. I like the way Manisha dealt with that when she reprimanded Ravi and we got to see him for the weak, vulnerable and scared creature he really is. They have showed him as weak and ineffective as a son and brother until very recently. BUT they also showed his redemption very convincingly after he broke down with Manisha and his other sisters. He doesn't just stop hitting Krishna, but lets go of his ego does something pro-active to reduce his frustration and its effects on others.

Similarly with Pintoo, we see that he is impulsive and acts as he chooses, without thinking of the ramifications. Sometimes his impulses work for the best, as in the case of Krishna's mains and sometimes they have really terrible effects. But we as an audience get the clear idea that this is a flaw.

To me with my limited experience with Indian TV shows, especially those that show love stories, this comes as a refreshing change from all the alpha-males who push and pull their leading ladies around as though it were their birthright. And then they have plenty of females of all ages fawning over their hyper masculinity and how sexy it is that he expresses his "unrestrained passion" by throwing the object of his passion against a wall and holding her arm in a vice grip that leaves her with bruises.

I much prefer the approach of AB where abuse is not skirted and it is shown as permeating the characters' lives but invariably as something negative. I know domestic abuse is not good in any capacity but it does mirror reality and I am glad they are showing it here in such an unglamorous way, making it clear that it stems from strength and not weakness.

My perspective on the three slaps:

Originally posted by: Samanalyse

This is a very interesting question.

We can look at it on two ways, from the perspective of reality, as you have and alternatively from the perspective of television right now. For me, the physical abuse we have seen in AB so far has been dealt with very sensitively, I feel. I am not condoning it but it does show facets of reality and more importantly enhances characterisation. -very true even i have to say that i am shocked that i have said that his behavior was right i dnt ever like to say that a woman deserves to be physically abused/had it coming coz of the connation that comes with it but i said it here. the prishna scene made me think, rattled me alot on what i term as an abusive male coz i felt he was right but wrong at the same time and how can a person be right and wrong at the same time and what was making his actions wrong. it got me thinking if it is wrong only coz a man had to do it than something is wrong with my thinking and i am not taking everything into consideration- that i had somehow imbided gender inequality/stereotpyes in my mind. coz expecting men to be judged on a higher level than woman to have the atmost control in everything that i kind of weakened my sex.

In terms of Ravi, he clearly did have control issues and frustration but that is no excuse for what he did. There were other ways he could have made Krishna understand her mistake and she was already guilty anyway. I like the way Manisha dealt with that when she reprimanded Ravi and we got to see him for the weak, vulnerable and scared creature he really is. They have showed him as weak and ineffective as a son and brother until very recently. BUT they also showed his redemption very convincingly after he broke down with Manisha and his other sisters. He doesn't just stop hitting Krishna, but lets go of his ego does something pro-active to reduce his frustration and its effects on others.- so true i have to say that i have loved the way his character has progressed in the few scenes he has had they have truly made him into the best bro and son. and it kind of showed that there is hope for every1 with this character.

Similarly with Pintoo, we see that he is impulsive and acts as he chooses, without thinking of the ramifications. Sometimes his impulses work for the best, as in the case of Krishna's mains and sometimes they have really terrible effects. But we as an audience get the clear idea that this is a flaw.-so true it is a flaw that can be worked on bt at the same he does tend to act instinctively, immediately and i dnt kn how u can stop a person from acting instinctively the way he does. thats why he slapped krishna and wanted to do the same to pInky - bt at the same time 1 dnt really want to judge him too much coz they both overly crossed the make with him- so i am really looking forward to how they change this aspect of his character

To me with my limited experience with Indian TV shows, especially those that show love stories, this comes as a refreshing change from all the alpha-males who push and pull their leading ladies around as though it were their birthright. And then they have plenty of females of all ages fawning over their hyper masculinity and how sexy it is that he expresses his "unrestrained passion" by throwing the object of his passion against a wall and holding her arm in a vice grip that leaves her with bruises.- hahaha u speaking ab maan and geet here arent u but i have to say that i agree with u here. i think most woman like mills and boons that why when they see this sort of behavor they do tend to like it alot. in regard to AB i have noticed even in last thursdays episode when Pintu takes krishna away from the hospital once outside what surprised me was that he let go of her hand very gently as a gentlemen in these other shows they show them doing it very harshly.

I much prefer the approach of AB where abuse is not skirted and it is shown as permeating the characters' lives but invariably as something negative. I know domestic abuse is not good in any capacity but it does mirror reality and I am glad they are showing it here in such an unglamorous way, making it clear that it stems from strength and not weakness.-

i love these line its very true i hope that ppl get this message though

@Sandia: I am not averse to the Mills & Boon genre myself. I am a very forgiving feminist thanks to being a die hard romantic. 😆 And yes, Maan and Geet did have that push and pull a lot but in a measure that I could tolerate without my inner feminist committing suicide. And then to balance it Maan always treated Geet with utmost respect and as an equal, which is why it is my favourite. I was actually referring more specifically to a show on Star Plus, I am sure you know the one, which takes the whole bitter, abusive, and therefore sexy male way past any semblance of proportion.

Not to mention all those saas-bahu shows where the husband treats the wife like crap because his mother made him marry her. 🤢

Anyway, point is that AB may not be perfect but the conceptualisation of things like love, romance, abuse and family is much more balanced than what I see elsewhere and so it is a refreshing change.

To educate in visual media is a difficult task.

I feel that there are three ways you can do it.

1. Make a comedy on the situation.

2. Make a fictional drama on the situation.

3. Make a documentary on it.

So AB's creatives need more creativity to show that it is not right to abuse women. I know some of my posts are dry but this is what I think at the moment and that I have gone off a tangent here.

So I'll end this post with this:

Suit the action to the word, the word to the action, with this
special observance, that you o'erstep not the modesty of nature:
for any thing so o'erdone is from the purpose of playing, whose
end, both at the first and now, was and is, to hold as 'twere the
mirror up to nature: to show virtue her feature, scorn her own
image, and the very age and body of the time his form and
pressure.

Hamlet Act 3, scene 2, 17–24 Shakespeare

@ shreedevi - BRILLIANT POST - I loved it...