Swapna, Updates on the Kids - Page 2

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Swapna Munagala

@s.munagala

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Posted: 15 years ago

#11

Hi Everyone,

Mahika, sorry for the delayed post. We finally closed on our home here, last Tuesday, and we had a small "Gruha Pravesh" ceremony yesterday. I was all caught up with those goings on so could not get to the computer to check up on posts. I'm not good when it comes to changes, and moving is a really big hassle for me, even when it's to our own place! Just the process of transferring everything, as in all the accounts and having to get a new phone number and all that is a process I truly detest! Anyway, it should all be set by the end of the month.

Rish has been ok in school so far, thank God! He had one tardy day last week since both he and I overslept and missed his bus, but that's been the only real incident so far. He's been all excited about the move, since he absolutely HATES the apartment, and was used to having a lot of space in Texas in the backyard and his room with his won gameroom. When we moved here, we had to put most of our stuff into storage, including a lot of his favourite toys, so he is doubly annoyed about having to live in a small space, and not having his toys around him! So, when we showed him the new place, he went nuts just running all over, up and down and in the backyard etc. He's just waiting till we get all his stuff out of storage, and that's ALL he's talking about now, it's driving me up the wall... but in a good way, :) it's good to see him this happy and content about the move since changes are hard for him too!

Anyway, gotta run for now, a friend just called to stay she's stopping by in 10 mins., and I'm in a rotten state, no bath or anything yet 😲!!!

TTYS,

Swapna

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MahikaL

@MahikaL

Explorer

Posted: 15 years ago

#12

👏 Congrats on the new house, Swapna!!! That is great news. Moving is an unmitigated nightmare, that's for sure. Soooo good to know Rish is thrilled with the new place.

There are always pros and cons to apartments vs houses. A lot of the Indians in the US like apartment living for the communal atmosphere which reminds them of home, other kids to play with etc. For me, I am glad we are in a house because my son is VERY loud. With his restless nature, he is always running, and wakes up very early to start his 'chakkars,' so I'm glad there are no apartment neighbours to be tormented by his thumpings and bumpings.😲 Not to mention the screaming when he has a meltdown. When the whole building complained because of Antara's all-day screaming, I was really feeling for Aditya PLUS the neighbours! We cannot just tell my son "Stop crying," and expect him to comply. It took several weeks to teach him that he cannot go and wake up his sister whenever he feels like it.

Skep, That was a very sweet poem. You really do write very well, including updates. There is a second career in this for you!

Mahika.

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Swapna Munagala

@s.munagala

Explorer

Posted: 15 years ago

#13

Mahika,

You are so on the button when you talk about not being able to reason with our kids when they have a meltdown. When Rish was younger, tantrums used to be a real issue with us. He would scream and cry and kick up such a fuss when he was frustrated over something. Of course at that stage he was really limited in his speech and so we could not even get him to tell us what was bothering him, so eventually we ended up having to just let him cry it out and expend his anger/frustration in that way. He's never been violent or self harming in any way thank God! After having witnessed some other kids meltdowns in his therapists office and at the clinics in TX Children's Hospital, I began thanking my stars and God that he at least just ends up having a screaming session and that's all!

The trick with him is to spot the triggers of something and head it off before it gets to the meltdown stage, but it took us years to be able to identify things that upset him and also to see the signs in his behaviour and head them off. Sometimes he still has a session where nothing I say or do can console him, he just cries and cries until he's exhausted, but again thank God those days are few and far in between.

Take Care,

Swapna

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MahikaL

@MahikaL

Explorer

Posted: 15 years ago

#14

HAHA, this evening my son freaked out and started roaring because his father came bounding up the stairs and disturbed his zen state. He screeched with fright and then just kept going, and when my husband laughed, he got really mad.😆

He has this pre-bath ritual where he has to stand at the sink and play with the water. Makes a big mess and everything, but he becomes mesmerised, breathing slows, etc, and after his meditative state was broken, my husband started calling him Vishwamitra. Which would make my husband---Menaka????😕

Mahika.

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tulipbaby53

@tulipbaby53

Trailblazer

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

#15

Hi Mahika and Swapna!

I can't believe I've been missing out on these posts! It's so great that you both are writing about your kids because it truly allows us to understand from a real life experience.

@ Swapna: Congrats on your new house!! 👏 You moved from Texas? OMG....that's where I just moved to! I'm glad Rishab is adjusting and enjoying his new house! 😃

@ Both, I really enjoyed reading about each of your children today because actually, I am a psychology major, and I want to go into clinical psychology for children. The books can teach me about the disorder and how to recognize it, but how the parents are feeling, only first hand experiences that you both narrate help us understand what the parent is going through.

Thanks a lot for providing such great insight for all of us!! It's nice to read two very positive home lives for autistic children!

Thanks a bunch!!

Varsha

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Swapna Munagala

@s.munagala

Explorer

Posted: 15 years ago

#16

Hey everyone,

Thanks for the wishes on the new house... even though I'm waiting so eagerly to move in totally, I just so completely HATE the process of it. I'm just glad that this is fairly final move for us, at least until Risheek is totally out of high school (he's in his last year of elementary now)... it gives me a few years to breathe at least! :)

Varsha, where in TX did you move to? We used to live in Houston. Psychology is such an interesting field, good luck to you with your studies. Glad to hear Mahika & I are offerring you such a unique insight. We do love this forum and the support from everyone who read and comment on our posts.

Take Care,

Swapna

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tulipbaby53

@tulipbaby53

Trailblazer

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

#17

Well, I moved to Colleyville..it's near Dallas. I used to live around this area before, so it's like being back home!

Oh and I just realized I called Risheek Rishab! I'm really sorry about that, Swapna! I don't know where I got confused from....😆

Thanks for the good wishes, and please do keep updating it's really nice to read about you all experiences! 😃

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Swapna Munagala

@s.munagala

Explorer

Posted: 15 years ago

#18

No biggie Varsha, it happens. :)

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skeptical

@skeptical

Inactive

Posted: 15 years ago

#19

Hi Mahi and Swapna .........................

Nice to come online and to this chat. Yes I can understand how handful and earful a child in tantrums can be. But whenever you look back, you can find something to laugh over. How much you learn on the way! And Swapna is right ...... we need to find out what "offends" the child that makes him so uncomfortable. Have you been able to find out some of the triggers?

I had this little boy in the class who would suddenly start screaming and rolling on the floor. Altho the lot in my care are not autistic, they are almost stone deaf. The sight of their mate crying so much sent alarm bells ringing in their little brains. My heart sank. Now I would have half a dozen more joining in as a chorus. I can't shush them ......because they can't hear anyway. What a time I had! The other teachers peeped in and asked if help was needed. Two of them held the others back and quietened them down. After 15 - 20 mins (a short time by autistic standards) I was able to make this child quiet and ask him what the matter was. I did dread this would have set off another bout of bawling. But he didn't.... mayb becoz I was carrying him. He pointed to the wall. I couldn't see anything. After a treasure hunt .................... it turned out to be a house-fly. Now in India we have hordes of them. How was I going to deal with this? So with him in one arm I took his arm with my free one and starting shoo-ing the flies away. Remember we teach speech as well.........so shoo was ideal to teach the phoneme 'sh'. This game of mine went on for almost half an hour before he got down and became quiet. I sighed with relief.

But my brave ones soon lost their fears (over a week) and became terrorists for the unsuspecting fly.

When the day was over at school, the whole faculty was in splits over this exercise. They said, no need to diet or go gymming ................. just get Ernie (that's the boy's name) and shoo flies. I said if I have to carry him for such a long spell daily ....... I'll go into competition with Arnold Swarz and his biceps..... 😉

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MahikaL

@MahikaL

Explorer

Posted: 15 years ago

#20

OMG, Skep, I am DYING of laughter here!!! I may not be deaf or autistic, but I was that kid, screaming because of the fly.... Every time we went to India for holidays, everyone would put me under the fan so that the flies would keep away from me. 😃 You are such a nice teacher, I can just tell.

Tulip, Hallo! I love your posts. We are just mothers muddling along, and our little munchkins are so cute, it is not a hardship to take care of their needs. My son has his own way of letting us know what he needs, and while our lives are definitely more limited because of his condition, I just believe that we were meant to be his parents, and our daughter was meant to be his sister, and when we have that belief, what else do we need? The kids' play area is near the puja room, and I know that since he is growing up in the shadow of God, he will always have that protection.

Over the weekend, I got my first kiss on the cheek from my son. Okay, I am crying while I type this. It was HUGELY joyful for me. I have always given him lots of hugs and kisses, but this is the first time he kissed me back. Weep, weep, sniffle...❤️

Mahika.

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