A Chance At A New Beginning

Nushrat

@Nush_Rat

A Chance At A New Beginning

Adi was sitting on his bed silently. It had been less than two days amidst which he had to say goodbye to his mother twice. He felt sad and lonely. But more than that, he felt angry, angry at everyone and everything that surrounded him. Pari as usual was making plans on how to reunite their parents but for the first time he felt disinterested. Did it really matter? Piya was very clear when she said she had her reasons and walked out of the house. Then what could Pari possibly achieve with her stupid plans?

He walked out of their room and knocked on Ansh’s door, “May I come in papa?” “Since when do you need permission to enter my room?” Ansh smiled at him. However, it didn’t melt Adi’s heart even a little bit. “Can you answer a question?” “Sure, what is it?” “You always told me Mumma had left us. Then why did she say that you had thrown her out when she came to you? Is it true?” Ansh was stunned. After everything that had happened earlier that day, he wished his seven years old hadn’t asked him this particular question. “You haven’t answered my question Papa. Did you throw Mumma out or not?” "Yes. But there was a reason that, I can explain." “I don’t want to hear your explanation, not anymore.” Adi turned around and left the room.

Every fiber in his body urged Ansh to stop Adi and envelop him in the tightest hug, to tell him his side of the story. But he couldn’t. Because Adi was right! No amount of explanation could justify his actions. Since the moment Adi was born everyone used to say that he was a splitting image of his father. Still, seeing how his son was distancing himself from him Ansh felt the resemblance couldn’t have been more uncanny. If the clenched fist and tightened jaw weren’t enough, the way he was walking with absolute insouciance it reminded Ansh of a particular moment. The moment when he had abandoned Piya. His Piya! The one whom he had proclaimed to love the most. Ansh couldn’t help but let out a sardonic laugh. Humans and their empty promises!

“Did you throw Mumma out or not?” Ansh closed his eyes. Yes! He deserted Piya. When she came to inform him about her pregnancy, he thought she came to gloat about her powers and walked out on her. “Ansh!” He opened his eyes. He could still hear Piya screaming his name and begging him to listen to her once. He looked at the empty corridor. This must be how Piya had felt back then - shattered and unwanted.

The moment Adi returned to his room Pari came out running, “Where were you? Stop behaving like a LJ (Lappujhanna) and wasting time. We need to make some plan to bring Mumma and .....” “Just shut up Pari! Do whatever you want to do but leave me alone.” Adi shouted so loudly that Ansh could hear it from his room. He rushed to their room and found Adi to be fuming while Pari was visibly upset. “What’s the matter with you Adi? Is this the way to behave with your little sister?” “Stop advising me Papa and spare some advice for your darling daughter too.” "Adi! Mind your language." Ansh lost his cool. Vedashree was passing by. Upon hearing their loud voices she came to the room and took Adi with her.

“What’s the matter Beta? You never behave rudely with anyone. Then what happened today? Why were you misbehaving with your Papa and Pari?” Adi didn’t replay and kept quiet. Vedashree heaved a sigh. As much as she wanted to justify Ansh’s actions she knew his one wrong decision had destroyed their entire family. Piya moved on and had Pari but it was Adi who had suffered the most. He grew up without a mother and had a lifeless father who hadn’t been himself. But it was enough. For once she needed to prioritize Adi, no matter the consequences. She asked the driver to take out their car and took Adi with her.

Adi didn’t notice where they were going until the car stopped in front of Nishant’s building. “Why have we come here Dadi?” “You need to talk to your mother.” “I don’t want to.” Adi protested and looked away to hide his tears. “I am not asking for your permission Adi. I am telling you what you need to do.” She got down from the car and signed Adi to accompany her.

Piya heard the doorbell and went to open the door. She was surprised seeing Adi with Vedashree. “Piya, I know we have had our differences and we’ll need much time to resolve all the issues. But your son needs you.” Before Piya could open her mouth, Vedashree left the place leaving Adi with her. Piya looked at Adi. The dried up tears on his cheeks were visible. It broke her heart to watch her son in that condition. She held his hand and bought him to her room.

Adi was blankly staring at the walls. At one corner there was a big photo frame containing Piya and Pari's photograph but there was no picture of him. He felt abandoned all over again. Piya sat beside him and gently stroked his back. Suddenly the wind chime on her balcony rang and for a second Adi’s face lit up. Piya looked away to wipe her tears and started talking, “You have always loved that sound, even before you were born.” Adi looked at her with confusion. “Whenever I used to ring a bell in the temple, I could hear your laughter. When I was going through the most difficult phase of my life you were the only one who was there with me. In a sense, we created our own little world.” Piya smiled recalling the time when she was pregnant with Adi. “When you were a kid we used to play all day and you were really naughty.” She was about to narrate another incident when Adi stopped her midway, “Why did you leave me then? Didn’t you care about me?” Piya felt exhausted. Deep down, she was prepared for that question but it would have been much easier if Adi hadn’t been so young. How could she explain her agony to him? She didn’t want to tarnish Ansh’s image in front of Adi. Neither did she want to give him any false hope. She cursed herself for making her son go through the same pain she had endured all her childhood - the pain of abandonment. 

“I didn’t want to leave you Adi. I just wanted to protect you from myself.” “Why? What happened to you?” “Just like today we had a fight with Bhasmika, when you were little a horrible battle took place. We defeated the Kalishaktis but I lost my mother during that battle.” “Nani died in that battle!” Adi was shell-shocked. “Yes.” Piya tried hard to control herself. “It was a devastating war and your Papa and I had decided to sacrifice our powers so that we could keep you away from all this and give you a normal childhood.” She paused for a second. “Despite performing the ritual, I wielded some powers. But it was different. It was nothing like I had felt before and I had no control over it. One night I had this terrible nightmare and lost control over my powers. As a result there was an explosion. If Ansh hadn't come at that moment, you would have gotten severely injured.” Piya was trembling recalling the incident. “That’s why I felt you would be better off without me and left you with your Papa until we found some solution.”

“Did you get better?” “Eventually I did.” “Then why didn’t you come back?” “I wanted to but .....” Piya stopped midway because she didn’t know how to tell Adi about what had happened between her and Ansh. “Pari was born and you got busy with her.” Piya was shocked to hear Adi’s words. “You had a new baby and decided that you didn’t want me anymore.” “How could you even think that Adi?” Piya’s voice chocked. “I am telling you what I have seen in "The Ugly Duckling". One duck was different from the rest of its family. Hence nobody wanted him. I suppose Pari was better than me, she had magical powers. So you just left me alone with Papa.” “That’s not true!” Piya broke down completely and hugged him tightly.

“Then why didn’t you come back for me?” Adi finally let his guard down and started confessing what was bothering him. “When I told you that Monster Auntie had kidnapped Pari you barged into our house. For Pari you fought with Papa as well. But when everything got over you just left! You recognized me in that temple that day, didn’t you? That’s why you were approaching towards me in the camp. Then why did you stop? Even if Papa had forbidden you, why couldn’t you argue with him for me like you did for Pari?” Adi continued sobbing. “You promised me that you would never leave me again. But you left me anyway. Papa just chose not to talk about you. He didn’t answer any of my question and moved all of your pictures from our house. He kept telling me that you had abandoned us and now you are telling me that you wanted to come back but couldn’t. Whom should I believe then, tell me!” After that sentence what could she possibly tell Adi? She just continued comforting her little boy and gave him some time.

After a while when she felt Adi had calmed down a bit she started talking, “I wish you were a bit more matured so that I could explain my reasons to you. But I can try. I know you are feeling angry and betrayed because your father and I have never given any explanation to you but I had my reasons.” Piya paused for a moment. “When my powers went out of control I expected Ansh would support me. But he didn’t. Like today you are feeling that everything you have known all along has been a lie, that moment I felt the same. Because I love your Papa way too much.” Adi quickly looked at Piya and she realized what she had just said. “I loved your Papa so much and he gave me everything I could have asked for - love, family, you! Which is why I felt even if the entire world had abandoned me, he would have never left me. But I was wrong.” Her voice sank to a whisper as she narrated how Ansh had broken her heart.

“I was petrified with fear when my powers got out of control and I almost hurt you. But Instead of assuring me that everything was gonna be fine, Ansh held me responsible for your accident. He felt I had become a threat to you and the other family members. For a moment there I felt he was right in his stance, that I should stay away from you for your own safety. However , once Pari was born all I could think about was his changed behavior and feared that he would never accept Pari. We had already separated. Besides, no matter how angry I was with everyone I knew that you would be loved and well taken care of. I didn’t want you to witness our ugly fight and suffer in any way. I though you would forget me with time and that’s what would be best for you."

Piya tried hard to maintain her composure and continued, "I got separated from my patents when I was very young. Your Nani and Nanu Papa had a fight and Maa walked out of the house holding my hand. I kept looking at Baba and was praying for a miracle. I thought he would stop us and everything would return to normal. But he didn't. And then Maa got kidnapped one day. Before leaving me she said she would come back for me and I kept waiting for her." Piya broke down completely. "She might have died in the Pralay Yudh but I had lost her way before that. Just after we had reunited, Mohana played her tricks and killed her. My aunt had resurrected her later but then she died in the war while fighting for the good side. Every time I lost her, she took a part of my soul with her." Adi felt devastated hearing Piya's side of the story. He wanted to hold her hand or say something to soothe her but didn't know how.

"It's ironic that I have felt abandoned for most of my life but at the end of the day I left you alone. At least I had some hope that one day my mother would come back for me but I didn't want to give you any false hope because...." "Because?" "Because if I took one step towards you, then I held myself back thinking about your Papa and the pain he had caused me. It wasn't just about the misunderstanding or his lack of trust in me. By the time Pari was born you grew up a little and you would have definitely understood that something was wrong. All I could think about was how I had been ripped apart from my mother over and over again and how she had left a void in my heart. I wasn't sure how Ansh would react to any of this. I didn't want you to get attached to me only to be separated later. It was my way of protecting you. I thought you would be better off without me. But I was wrong.”

Piya tried to control herself but failed miserably. The pain she had been carrying for so long had found their way through her tears. "To be completely honest, I think more than you I was trying to protect myself. When I left , you tried to stop me in your own innocent way. Nothing could ever come closer to the pain that I had felt when l let go of your hand. But the thought that I might have to go through that same pain over and over again was even more terrifying. I was devastated with my repeated separation from Maa. If I had to do the same with you, I wouldn't be able to survive that, it would end me. I tried to mask my fear saying I was doing it for you. But deep down, I have always known that I did it to protect myself. A mother's fear of losing her child won over her love. Love that should have urged me to fight for you became the reason for me to leave."

Piya tried to wipe her tears. “As parents we are supposed to take the right decision for our kids. But parents are human too Adi. Sometimes even we can commit mistakes and it’s the biggest regret of my life that I had left you behind.” She paused, realizing Adi was astonished by her confession. “There hasn’t been a single moment when I haven’t remembered you. There has never been any comparison between you and Pari. I love both of you, equally. It's just that she was with me and I could shower my love on her. But when it came to you all I could do was pray to Devi Maa that somehow you received that love from your Papa or someone else in the family."

Piya cupped Adi’s face and wiped his tears. “I don’t blame you for not trusting me. You have every right to be mad at me because I have failed you. It doesn’t matter what my situation or intention was. I left you alone and as you have pointed out I have repeated it again. Still, there’s one thing that I need you to know.” “What’s that?” “I love you Adi! It wasn’t your fault that I had abandoned you. It was my own weakness. You are the greatest gift of my life and I will be damned if I don’t take enough measures to let you know that. We have missed so much Adi. If you give me another chance, I’ll try my best to make it up to you. Can we start over again?” “What about Papa and Pari?” “It doesn’t matter Adi. My issues with Ansh have nothing to do with you. You are my son, my truest love, and no one can change that. I know you are confused about whom to believe and I give you full liberty to choose for yourself. The only thing that matters to me is that you realize my love for you isn’t a lie. Even if you stop acknowledging me as your mother, you’ll always be my son. I’ll always be there for you.” 

She kissed Adi on his forehead and was about to leave when Adi stopped her by holding her hand and hugged her tightly. He could say nothing but his tears said it all. No matter how messed up the situation was he was happy that finally he got back his mother. He had all the assurance he needed. He wasn’t abandoned! His mother loved him!

Piya on the other hand felt content. Nothing mattered to her anymore. She finally got her Adi back! The guilt that had been eating her alive for all those years was finally subsided. This was a new beginning for them. A chance to right her wrong, a chance to try and start over from scratch, a chance to their new beginning. 

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