Chapter Twenty-Four

4 years ago

K-Shandra

@K-Shandra

Preeto took the diaper bag from Prerna as she stepped past her, she then held the door for Anurag to enter with Sneha. Within moments of entering, Prerna turned to take Sneha from Anurag with a calm yet dismissive statement, “I’ll see to her.”

Anurag made to object, but then thought better of it. He did not like the fact that Prerna had any contact with Bajaj, and had it not been for Khuki’s sake he would have refused her request outright.

He watched as Prerna ans Sneha left for their room, his heart yearning to accompany them but at the same time he knew Prerna would need some space and time to process everything, just like him. Komolika’s presence at the mall had been a firm and unwelcome reminder that she was unlikely to relent her claim on him, any time soon. They needed to do something or they would end up spending their lives trying to avoid her. He had to speak to Prerna about it and together they would have to decide as to what to do. Her honest and outright confession a few days prior still haunted him, which was why he knew he had to include her in any future decisions they made. He turned to Preeto and said, “Could you serve me some tea in the lounge,I’ll wait there for Prerna to finish.”

Anurag finished the tea and checked his watch, Prerna had spent more than three quarters of an hour with Sneha, and whatever they were doing he was certain it could not take that long. She’s avoiding me, he thought. He sought out Preeto and asked outfight, “How long does it take Prerna to see to Sneha in the afternoons?”

Preeto looked about the room uncomfortably causing him to demand, “That is what she is doing, right?”

Preeto hesitantly replied, “Ugh, ma’am is in the room with Sneha.”

Anurag quickly responded, “I’m not asking where she is.” Preeto’s reluctance to look at him only served to enforce the notion that Prerna was indeed trying to avoid him. “That’s it, she can’t avoid me indefinitely.” He said as he turned from Preeto and made his way towards Prerna’s room.

Preeto followed him and said, somewhat distressed, “Please, Mr. Basu, You must not disturb her.”

Anurag swung around, almost causing Preeto to collide with him, and angrily demanded,“Why not?” He glared at Preeto who meekly and cautiously replied, “Ma’am often naps in the afternoons after seeing to Sneha.” Adding more confidently, “We should not disturb her.”

Anurag firmly replied, “I’ll be the one to determine that!” and swung around to continue to the room, leaving a stunned Preeto in his wake.

He did not knock before entering, not wanting to disturb Prerna if she were sleeping. He approached the bed and for the first time in months, unabashedly looked at her.The serenity of her appearance drained all anger. It was quickly replaced with a protectiveness he was well familiar with. He knew that she had made the best of matters until date, with both of them putting their own wants and needs aside to deal with matters as they arose. Any calm or intimate moments eluded them, adding to the irritation and frustration they both felt. It was moments such as these that served as a reminder of what exactly they were fighting for.

Movement to the side drew his attention. He shifted his gaze to his daughter who was awake and moving her arms, as if trying to tell him something. A ring of pillows surrounded her. Without hesitation, he moved to the other side of the bed and carefully settled, a warmth enveloped him as Sneha’s eyes met his and she stilled for a moment. He moved to take hold of Prerna’s wrist and gently moved her hand from Sneha, careful not to disturb her. Smiling at Sneha he collected her up and whispered, “I think you should come with me. We’ll let your mother rest for now,” His gaze shifted to Prerna as he added, “She looks like she needs it.”

Anurag carefully rose from the bed and moved to the door, sparing a moment to look back at a sleeping Prerna. He took Sneha to the lounge and switched on the TV,before tuning the volume down. What was on seemed unimportant as his attention focused on his daughter. He had spent far too much time separated from her and her mother.He took in everything about her, she had her mothers eyes that could see right into his soul. He felt guilty for the time wasted but at the same time thankful for Prerna’s persistence and resilience. He knew anyone else would long since have given up on him.

Sneha’s presence captivated his full attention and he simply gazed at her allowing her to grasp his one finger. The depth of emotion he felt for the little being could not be put into words. He settled into a more comfortable position, allowing Sneha to settle over his chest her head resting just below his shoulder. Instinctively he gently rubbed her back and lulled her to sleep. Soon enough the calmness and serenity of his surroundings lulled both of them to sleep.

Prerna slowly woke, her hand instinctively closing over what should have been… there was nothing. Instantly she bolted upright and checked the area next to her, the rest of the room, while trying to determine the time. It would not be not the first time Preeto had collected Sneha from the room while she slept, but the servant had never let her sleep that long. Prerna checked her phone and realized that it was approaching Sneha’s feeding time, and with the baby having slept through the morning’s visit to the mall, her routine had been disrupted enough.

Prerna quickly rose from the bed and righted her clothing, before exiting the room. She ran into Preeto in the dining area and was about to demand as to Sneha’s whereabouts however the woman held her finger in front of her lips before pointing to the lounge area. The TV was still on, the sound low.

With a furrowed brow Prerna approached the couch and was taken aback to see both Anurag and Sneha asleep. Anurag had his hand over the baby’s back with both seeming blissfully unaware of her presence and scrutiny. A warmth grew within her chest at the sight of them and she carefully approached the. She did not want to disturb them but Sneha had to be kept in routine. She gently took hold of Anurag’s wrist,not surprised when it instinctively tightened its hold over their daughter. Prerna softly whispered, “I need to feed and change her.” His eyes fluttered open for a moment and locked with hers, before his grip eased to allowed her to take Sneha. 

Sneha woke and for a moment wiggled causing Prerna to look at her, hesitating as to what to do. Anurag seemed confused and surprised by his surroundings.

Prerna looked towards Preeto for a moment and then back at Anurag, unwilling to let the moment go since they had spent so little time together since Sneha’s birth.

“Do you want to stay for dinner?” Prerna asked, “I’m certain Preeto could make a few more rotis.” Prerna looked towards Preeto for confirmation and the girl nodded.

“I would like that.” Anurag sincerely answered, adding, “We need to talk anyway.”

Prerna’s back stiffened, she knew it was inevitable and would have preferred to defer it.

“Let me see to her and then we’ll eat.”

Dinner was stilted, with neither of them knowing what to say yet both reluctant for it to be over. Anurag was the first to move, he took Sneha to the lounge where he again settled with her. Prerna cleared the table and helped Preeto with the dishes before dismissing the girl for the evening. She knew she could not put off their talk indefinitely, especially since Anurag seemed determined to remain until they had spoken.

She reluctantly returned to the lounge where Anurag invited her to join them. Prerna smiled as she nervously took a seat, eventually turning to face him and the inevitable.

Anurag again settled Sneha against his shoulder and rubbed her back, before looking at Prerna, calmly stating “She’s a happy baby.”

Prerna frowned for a moment before replying, “Yes she is, considering all things.”

Instantly concerned, Anurag demanded, “What do you mean by that? Is there something wrong with her?”

“No, it’s nothing like that.” Prerna instantly replied.

“Then what is it?”

Prerna looked into the distance before answering, “Considering all that happened throughout my pregnancy, the doctors were concerned at some stage.”

“But everything is alright? I mean there is nothing wrong?”

“No, Sneha is one hundred present fine.” Prerna reached out towards her daughter, her hand for a moment brushing his. Instantly her awareness of him grew anew along with the realization that she should not allow herself to grow close to him again.She visibly swallowed before finally saying, “I’m certain everyone at home would be waiting for you and that you need to get back.”

Instantly he threw back, “What? Are you trying to get rid of me?”

“No, I just thought there is somewhere else you might need to be.”

Anurag tilted his head for a moment before answering, “I’m exactly where I need to be.As it is we never get to spend any time together.” He noticed her discomfort and added, “I mean look at how much Sneha has grown and I’ve missed it all. I wanted to spend some time with you and my daughter.”

“What about everyone else?” Prerna asked not willing to be drawn into dropping her guard again.

“You and Sneha are the two most important people in my life. Everyone else can wait for now.”

Prerna was familiar enough with the determination in his tone that she knew she would not deter him, and opted for the easier path, hoping she could keep her heart intact this time. “So what did you want to do?”

“I thought that the three of us could watch a movie or do something together. Something mundane all families do.”

Prerna tried not to read too much into his words, it was so easy to be lulled into some form of complacency. She gestured to the remote and said, “Help yourself, I don’t know if there’s anything worthwhile on.”

Anurag pointed at Sneha but said nothing as Prerna reached for the remote and handed it to him. He flipped through the channels finally settling on something before handing it back to her. She took it and placed it back on the coffee table,ensuring she maintained a proper distance from him. He looked at her in question but returned to rubbing Sneha’s back.

They were about half way through the series before her back started protesting. She had no idea as to what they were watching, her mind focused on keeping a set distance between them. Sneha had drifted off to sleep and she toyed with the idea of collecting up their daughter and putting her to bed, but Anurag’s resolve was obvious – he was not going to let go of his daughter as quickly.

Prerna again shifted in an attempt to get comfortable, while Anurag only glanced at her. Eventually he released a heavy sigh which caused her to look at him, lifting his one arm he said, “Prerna.”

The invitation was obvious and tempting, she wanted to be close to him but also knew the dangers that awaited. Her heart and soul screamed at her to indulge in the closeness and comfort it promised. Anurag patiently waited.

She shifted and took up the offer, knowing that the morning would as usual bring the inevitable return to things pro-quo and that their entire relationship had been built on such stolen moments. And try as she liked, she could not deny herself. She settled against him, dew in the warmth and safety his presence lent her. It was easy to forget everything and simply indulge in the moment.

Prerna had no idea as to when she had dose off, only that Sneha was stirring and would soon require attention. She shifted against the warmth, smiled at the familiar scent that filled her senses, and for a moment fought against the need to move.

She felt him shift, knowing that Sneha would have woken him and that she could no longer postpone the inevitable. Sitting up she reached for Sneha. Instantly her side felt cold and she fought the sense of loss that filled her. “I must feed her.” Prerna said as she rose from the couch.

Anurag watched as she retreated, his heart growing heavier with every step she took. It had become harder to watch her leave, especially when they spent time together, and this time had been a stark reminder of what exactly they had been missing out on.

“Prerna!” He called after her, having made up his mind.

She turned to look at him, with Sneha growing visibly agitated as she said, “Yes, Anurag?” 

“We have to talk.”

Prerna closed her eyes and took a deep breath before replying, “What about.”

“This, us.”He answered also rising.”

“You should go home, Anurag, it can wait.” Prerna said as she started to turn from him, knowing it was one conversation she had no desire for, even in the full light of day.

“No,’ He firmly said, casing her to turn and look at him, “This can’t wait anymore.”

Shaking her head she said, “So what have you decided?”

Anurag looked at her in confusion and then said, “I’m staying.”

Prerna pointed to the guest room and said, “The guest room is that way, help yourself.”

He quickly moved towards her and repeated himself, “Don’t you get it? I’m staying here.”

Again she pointed to the guest room, “I heard you, guest room is that way, we can talk in the morning.”She then turned and took an agitated Sneha to their room, leaving a stunned Anurag in her wake.

Komolika picked up the call and angrily demanded, “And what happened.”

Ronit hesitantly answered, “We’ve sat here the entire afternoon and most of the evening, there's no sign of them.”

Livid, Komolika replied, “You and that stupid idiot must have missed them.”

“We were here the whole time, his car did not come past here. I think he has her holed up somewhere else.”

“Well then find out where they are, do I need to explain everything to you.”

“We’ll find them.” Ronit assured.

“You’d better.”