Part 5

 

 

Arnav probed his shoulder against the window frame and looked at the vast expanse of greenery spread in front of him. A paper crumbled in his fist, making his facial muscles tense. It's been 2 months and 4 days he had seen her sweet face. And to his surprise, that face was the only constant thing roaming in his head. He had left Bristol and traveled here in search of some peace and seclusion, but none has graced him. The thought of him leaving his little wife alone like some coward never provides him peace. And her face which had taken a permanent place at the back of his eyes never gives him seclusion. He had not even said a goodbye before leaving her. 

 

 

He closed his eyes. Why? Why she affects him in so many ways? Why can't it be like any other women with her too? Why he can't act selfish when it comes to her? Why he have to think about her?  Why can't he take what he wants from her and get over with it? 

 

 

But he knows he can't. Those two brown eyes,  looking at him with world of trust and respect doesn't allow him to act selfish. Those eyes lifting at him with world of concern shining there at his slightest hiss will never allow him to get selfish with her. He knows how to handle a cunning witch,  but how to handle his innocent wife? 

 

 

 

He looked down at his hand,  the paper now in a crumbled ball. He had got Akash's letter yesterday. Saying how much his wife needs him, misses him, cries for him. His hand fisted around the paper more tightly. A known restlessness again came to settle on his chest. Was he doing right in staying away from her? He had asked this question to himself after reading his brother's letter. And one peek at the night he had lost his control around her, gives the answer. He was doing right. He don't know how to handle his growing attraction for her other than acting on the same. So it's better if he stays away from her. And why was she missing him? She has Akash around him,  a person who even knows her language. She has Maria around her who treats her like her baby sister. Why she needs him around her? Doesn't she feel scared of him? She should be relieved,  then why this letter? 

 

 

He turned around to look at the small mahogany table,  a red girly kerchief resting there. And a white paper folded inside it. A letter from his wife. He had read the letter from his brother,  but had still not read the letter send from his wife. Something about that letter told him that if he even dares to  open that letter, his months of control will snap in a second. Frightened by that thought,  he had not even touched that letter after keeping it there. 

 

"My Lord, there' s an old lady asking for you" 

 

He heard a voice from the doorway,  breaking his reverie. 

 

"Pardon?"

 

The maid bowed her head down and repeated again.

 

"There's a old lady asking for you, my lord" 

 

"Old lady? What does she wants? " Arnav's brow furrowed in confusion.

 

"She refuses to say anything,  my lord. She just wishes to meet you" 

 

"OK, tell her to wait. I will be there in a minute" Arnav said,  the authoritative tone of Duke back in his voice.

 

 

 

 

Arnav looked at the old lady in front of him. Clad in dark blue gown,  stitched from whereas places. Her old face wrinkled, hair turned white, and grey eyes staring at him. She bowed down at him and stepped closer.

 

"Thank you for granting me your time, my lord" The old lady conveyed her gratitude. 

 

"What do you want?" Arnav asked, his eyes curious. 

The old lady nodded her head and began. " I live nearby your home, my lord. In a small hut. 6 years back I lost my Son and Daughter-in-law in an accident. And since then I was living with my grandson here. But last night I lost him too. He was suffering from typhoid and last night he breathed his last" a tear rolled down her wrinkled cheek. But wiping the tear, she smiled at her Duke. " I ..I want a small land of your vast backyard,  my lord. It was my Grandson's favorite place. He use to sneak there whenever I use to scold him. If you will allow then I want to do my baby's last rituals there. 

 

 

Arnav swallowed the big lump. A sense of Dj vu washed over him. His father's voice telling him his Mother never going to return rang in his head. His Father's ashen face from inside the coffin flashed in front of him, making his vision blank momentarily. He staggered back, catching the chair behind him to support his legs. He looked at the old lady in front of him. How is this lady still standing in front of him after losing everything? How can she still bring herself to smile? 

 

"Please,  my lord. A small piece of land is all I am asking for. Be generous, your grace" The old lady folded her hand. 

 

Arnav managed to nod his head. 

 

"You can take whatever you want " Arnav drawled out the words and turned back, leaving the place at once.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He once again stood near the window, now looking at the small group of people gathered in his backyard. The smiling face of that old lady again flashed in front of him. How can that lady smile after losing her only support? The question rang in his head, making him restless. He needs to ask her.  He needs to ask her how she is she still holding herself after losing everything. 

 

 

He looked ahead, the crowd there disappearing now, leaving only the old lady standing there. Arnav turned and exited the room.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Arnav stared at the old lady,  who now sat near her grandson's grave. Walking towards her, he sat beside her. 

 

The old lady looked beside her, startled. 

 

"Oh, it's you,  my lord." She smiled. "Thank you so much , my lord " her old eyes shone with respect and warmth.

 

Arnav nodded his head. Clearing his throat he began.

 

"Do you have anyone else in your family?" Arnav asked, and saw her trembling hand lift to caress the wet mud in front of her.

 

"No... Danny was my only family ... Now I am all alone" The longing in her voice rose a lump in his throat. 

 

" How..." he stopped,  the lump in his throat not allowing him to continue. "How.. ..are you coping with the loss?" he can't help but ask. 

 

The lady smiled. "It's not easy. ." she started in a soft elderly voice.  " After losing my Son and Daughter-in-law, it wasn't easy to see my only Grandson dying in front of me. My only family,  my only support. But I welcomed God's decision with open arms. Who am I to question His decision? And who says I am left alone? Whenever I will miss my Danny,  I can see and feel him in this walking stick he had made for me. I can feel him in my home. I can make meals and eat in his plate, sensing him close to me than he ever was. I can touch his clothes,  hug it close to my chest and feel him. I can always close my eyes and see us both doing things we would have done if he were alive. I can come here and talk to him when I feel like. You will allow me to come here, my lord,  don't you? " The lady asked expectantly. 

 

 

Arnav turned his head away, few drops spilling out from his eyes. His chest hurt. He stood up, nodding his head. "You. .you can come here whenever you want,  no one will stop you" and he left,  without looking back at the lady whose hand lifted to bless him. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Arnav entered his room and closed the door. He leaned his head against the door and closed his eyes. How can someone live in a delusion and be happy. Does it really provide any peace, any happiness?  He had never tried this. He had always kept himself away from everything that can remind him of his parents. How will he know if it works,  he had never tried it. But what is the use of doing it?  It can't bring his parents back. It will never bring his parents back. The mere feel of his parents can't sooth his aching hurt,  it can't.   

 

 

He opened his eyes,  and it zeroed on the letter resting on the table. Kusi. His wife. Why is he running from her?  Why is he running from the emotions she awakes in him? Will staying away assure that she will never leave him like his parents? He always tries to portray he doesn't care for his brother. But can he assure his heart the same if his brother ever leaves him like his parents? If his running away will change nothing,  then why is he running away from them? Why is he running away from all the emotions they awake in him? If he can't fight the decisions of the almighty above, then why he is hiding here away from his family? Why is he denying the memories he can make with them? 

 

 

 

He looked at the letter. Why is he afraid of opening her letter when she herself has captured his mind and heart?  His legs on its own accord, started towards the letter. Bending down he took it in his hand. Unwrapping the soft fabric, he held it near his nose. Its odor bringing the memory of her soft body pressed against his. But this time he welcomed that memory instead of chiding it away. Pocketing the kerchief, he looked at the folded paper. Unfolding it with his trembling fingers, he held it in front of his eyes. 

 

 

 

 

                    I miss you ... Come soon please. Akash bhaiya say you will come soon. But no soon ... . I cry very much.  I don't like without you. Please come soon. I will be good wife.  I will not play in bathtub .. I will not talk with doll. ..Nani-maa say married girls no play ...no talk with dolls...I am sorry. ..big ...very big sorry. .Come soon please. Please. . 

 

                                                                                                                             Aapki kusi 

 

                                     Please come soon. ..please. ..

 

 

He looked at the words through thin layer of tears. His eyes running on the words again and again. He lifted his hand to run on the thick ink, and his heart clenched painfully. As if her longing and agony has traveled to him. 

 

He took a shuddering breath and ran his hand over his face and into his hair. He needs to go back. Go back to the girl who is waiting for him.

Hope you all liked it!