Chapter 53 (according to the Index Out for the Stry this is Chapter 51)

4 years ago

mysticaltales11111

@mysticltales111

Hello guys

So here I am with a Update.

So as I got the feedback from most of you in the note I posted earlier this evening – I totally went in with my hearts thoughts of Presenting to you all – A Stand Alone Emotional Update – just depicting Raw Emotions and Vulnerability our Leads are Going through at the Moment.

Please prepare yourself to dive in for a Emotional rollercoaster of 13k plus words.

Please ignore editing errors guys as I have not proofread.

And now I shall let you all Dive in without further Delay.

………………………

CHAPTER 51 – Where is The Light?

Same Day – 1245 PM

( 30 Minutes after Khushi was Brought to The Hospital)

ARNAV'S POV

I still Can't Breathe – Properly!

I feel like My Lungs are Revolting On Me in Emotion..as in Like you know how the Oxygen is passing through my Nostrils Anyway – But my Lungs don’t want to feel The Breath In Emotion.

AND I KNOW THIS FACT FOR SURE THAT I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO FEEL MY BREATHS EMOTIONALLY – UNTIL I SEE MY SUNSHINE ...SMILING BACK AT ME.

My Hearts Gripped in so much Pain and Angst right now that I feel like it’s going to Burst Under the Onslaught of the Pain – I am feeling in my Being.

I feel Like I am being Hammered BY AN Axe over and over again and the only way this will stop – is when MY Sunshine will look into my eyes and say – “ hey you..my…hoodie guy...i love you…”

“ Arnav...I love you...”

AND ANOTHER POINT TO BE NOTED Again – THE ANGST AND PAIN AND THE DESPAIR AND THE DARKNESS THAT I AM FEELING WITHIN RIGHT NOW WILL ALSO ONLY BE EASED DOWN BY ANY SORT OF A LIGHT– ONCE I SEE MY SUNSHINE SMILE BACK AT ME.

YOU KNOW SINCE MY SUNSHINE ALWAys says – We will Turn on the Light HOODIE guy..no matter how dark the room..is...for you I will always turn on the light – but….know this Sunshine for Me There will Be No Light in My Life – without You.

I do not have the Courage or the Strength right now to Find that Bloody Light Switch.

I can’t.

I just bloody can't.

Not until I hear from You.

For everything Inside off me is Uprooted because of this Storm of Pain that has Consumed Me.

And the only one who can Make it ANY better – Is You!

You are the Sun of My Life -Sunshine.

I need you just like how they say we Humans Need Oxygen.

I need you perhaps even more than that.

Guys...If anything were to Happen to MY Sunshine Ever..I swear I’d Die too.

And Hence.

I WILL SAY THIS AGAIN.

I AM pretty Sure MY HEART WONT FEEL ITS BEats EMOTIONALLY or its Breaths too for that matter - UNTIL SHE smiles at me and CALLS ME – HEY YOU… HOODIE GUY.

UNTIL SHE SAYS – I LOVE YOU MY HOODIE GUY.

Which I am pretty much sure – will be the first words that leave her mouth once she will be feeling better Enough to talk to Me.

Yes guys– I haven’t been able to Speak to MY Sunshine at all ever since she lost her consciousness in my arms in the Car.

And that is why for the Last Thirty Minutes – I have just been Feeling Like A Zombie who is just Zombie-ing around the Emergency Ward in the Max Hospital – and why do I use the Word Zombie?

Because you know how Zombies create Havoc?

So Yes.

I think My Paniic and the Havoc that I have been feeling within obviously got reflected out like a thousand times over in front of the Doctors and the Nurses, in the emergency all because they would not let me Hold onto MY Sunshines Hand, while they were tending to her.

So.

Ever since we wheeled her in on the Strecher into the Emergency, I was holding onto her Hand tight – you know since that’s what My Sunshine wants from me when she is all speechless emotionally....and in that very moment she was not technically emotionally speechless..but she was still speechless because she was unconscious right?

So how could I let go of her Hand???

But.

They literally yanked her hand off mine – when they shifted her to the strecher into the bed in the emergency!

They shouldn’t have – because it Broke Me Completely!

For just the sight of My Sunshine lying unconscious in the Hospital Bed with all these doctors and Nurses rounding in around her as they started to examine her and then taking her Vitals – attaching god knows all sorts of medical gadgets on her and they continued to go on with their medical techniques of getting MY Sunshine to show some kind of response – killed me within in an instant again - and I stood like a Zombied ( the Gentleman at first – a statement I have to make in my defence so that you all dont think I am a crazy man) .So yes at first I was Zombie – the Gentlemann who just stood in a stunned Daze, feeling all lost looking at the sight of MY Sunshine that way, and even though Cap, Manizeh and Coach sir were around me ...I could not feel their presence at all – because it was like My Body Was ALL Statue-d on me as it went on a revolt as it told me that it will only React – once I see MY Sunshine show some sort of a response to these doctors and nurses – which Thankfully she did – within about Three Minutes of them Trying to get her to respond – the Three Minutes that were the Most Torturous Devastating Minutes of MY Life.

And the Doctors were glad as they stated to a grouped Us who were standing a little afar from the bed but still very much around MY sunshine( I could see her)- they said that MY Sunshine’s vitals were Stable and that she had flickered her eyes open and her limbs were reacting too which was a good sign that she was regaining consciousness – but because she had weakly complained of a Headache with a gesture they were suspecting A Concussion to the Head Surely – and they said to us that they needed to just give her some post concussion painkillers throught the IV Candula and that has like mild sedation affects in the formula anyway – which should get her sleeping – whilst they prep to Take her for the MRI to make sure there’s no further Internal Injury and they suggested that they wanted to do the MRI of the Brain and the Spine both because , she had rolled down the stairs too.

I had finally regained my ability to react as I told them – to do whatever procedures they wanted – all i needed was MY Sunshine to be hail and hearty.

And they nodded and started to proceed on these Lines.

So ...Yes.

This is where that little not so GENTLEMANLY Zombied Chaos and Havoc Bit came In -.For I did end up behaving like a Mr.Zombie the Hacov King for a little.

Because all I asked them Politely or rather requested politely whilst they injected her with the IV and stuff - was to just Please just let me Hold MY Sunshines Hand ,sitting next to her silently while you tend to her – but Noo- they would not Listen – so I did obviously get into a little 30 sec spat with them on that.

For I could see that MY Sunshines eyes were fluttering open in between aand closing back but in those moments when her eyes were fluttering open..her gaze was surely searching for me and her fingers were so restless too on her sides that all I desperately wanted was to just Hold onto her Hand, lace my fingers through hers because I knew it would give her comfort and security because she was most surely feeling very vulnerable in the situation – but they still wouldn’t allow me to sit by her Side and were not letting me hold onto her Hand at all – because by then her one hand was injected with the IV drip and the other hand was being dressed up becuase the redness from the scalding almost minor burn she had on her hand – from that incident in the coffee shop – and so then I kind of understood that they were making sense because I could not most definetly touch MY SUNSHINES HANDS...in that Moment.

And.

So.

I let them have their way There and went back to being Zombied the Gentleman.

It stayed on only for ten seconds though.

FOR then.

They were all like ASR – we need you to Leave Now, because there are still a lot of examinations we need to continue doing on her before we get her into the MRI and now we are going to close the curtains around and you are going to have to wait outside the Emergency Area!

Yeah – so that was where I got into Zombie the Havoc King Mode again and I totally got into A two minute Tussle with the Two Doctors on duty as I kind off yelled in despair that there was no way I was going to let My Sunshine out of MY Sight.

CAP, Manizeh and Coach obviously intervened – and well now- I have been sitting out of the emergency at the Benches totally dejected – feeling like as if I have been Banished into despair.

SO I AM THE BANISHED ZOMBIE NOW.

I have been the Banished Zombie now for the last fifteen Minutes – I haven’t been able to take any of my family members phone calls- cap took care of that- I have been feeling so Lost that Coach was all like – I will take care of the remaining formalities...and I totally gestured to Manizeh to see if she was allowed to be in with Khushi because well she knew one of those doctors in the Emergency.

And well- I am glad I gestured her that.

For.

The only good thing that is keeping me Sane right now is that Manizeh just came out a Five minutes ago and informed me that Khushi's Vitals were stable , and were getting better and the Doctors are Happy with the Examination they have made – and it does really Look like a Mild Concussion and some other minor injuries but no other major injuries.She did have that minor burn injury on her one hand and she most surely has twisted her right ankle too by the fall but that it looked like an muscular spasm – and that they were still going to run the Scans anyway to be sure.

I nodded at her and thanked her with gesture because I was still unable to get my Voicebox to function.

It’s been that way for the last five minutes too.

Godammit Sunshine – please wake up and look at me and smile at me and make my existence in this world – worth its while!

I am still on that pained thought- when right then the emergency doors open and I spot them starting to wheel out My Sunshine and My heart breaks again as I take in the sight off her looking so pale and weak with her forhead bandaged , her right hand that had a minor burn bandaged, her other hand still had the IV cannula attached to it and her right ankle now also had the crepe bandaged sock – and her eyes were closed.

She looked so weak and fragile in that moment – that I felt My breathe Hitch on Me Again.

They stopped.

My Lungs officially stopped.

And I am so sure that I have paled so Bad as a white Sheet because one of the doctors now kept his hand on my shoulder, at the same time as I felt Cap and Coachs hands on the other shoulder too in support and the Doctor now gives me a reassuring smile( this was one of them I had got into the Tussle with) – “ ASR...breathe...you gotta breathe..she is asleep...she is not unconscious...there is a difference..and shes doing good...stable....injuries yes...quite a few of them..but nothing major ..I do suspect some more muscular spasms here and there becuase of the fall down the stairs...I suggest I run a full body MRI scan along with a MRI for the brain..instead of just the brain and spine only like I had earlier suggested...ok?? I want rule out the aspect of any sort of internal injury anywhere? Ok??”

I nod on relfex as I say, letting out my choked breathe – “ ok...do whatever you need...how much time will that take??”

I asked – because I remember MY Sunshine telling me how vulnerable she was the last time she was in the MRI Machine – and the fact that she was going to be alone in there in this vulnerable state all by herself- was screwing me up More.

Could I ask the doctor if I would be allowed to go in with her into the MRI?

Yeah right – they will Banish Me from the Hospital grounds...then surely!

They didnt let me even hold onto her Hand..ofcourse I was not going to be allowed in the MRI machine with her!

Godammit.

The doctor gives me a reassuring smile – “ ninety minutes on the whole.ASR....”

WAITTTT????

WHATTTT????

MY SUNSHINE WAS GOING TO BE ALONE IN THERE FOR 90 MINUTES????????

I ask shaken now , because I need to know – “ is she in a deep sleep right now?? Was she awake??did she talk to you at all??”

The doctor smiles – “ so yes I was coming to that...usually after concussions we do let the patient sleep incase they feel like it and there are no other serious symptoms that could depict s serious condition...but we keep checking up on them every two to three hours anyway just to see if they are waking up smoothly etc...so before Khushi dozed off into sleep..she spoke to us..we asked her a couple of regular questions..she could answer them..which is a good sign ofcourse...and then she also left a message with me for you ASR...”

My Heart felt its First Beat in Bit as I asked immediately and urgently- “ khushi left a message for me before she slept..??what did she say?? Please tell me..”

The Nurse next to him smiled as she spoke – “ sir..I can..”

The doctor smiled at us ,amused– “ no no sister..let me...I remember every word.. for never have I been asked to pass on a message to a loved one and been apologized in the next second for being made to feel like a voicemail or a answering machine...”

My Heart Feels its Second Beat.

GODAMMIT Sunshine- only you can come up with something like this even in that state.

The Doctor smiles as he continues – “ so like I said first thing out she apologized to me for making me her voicemail or answering machine in the moment and I was obviously amused so I assured her that she didnt have to worry about it and that I would most definetly pass on her message to you since I am blessed with a good memory and then she said – “that doctor I do think i am..about to near into sleep now and it’s good because sleep is what I want before you shove me into the MRI...but please tell my hoodie guy.. not to worry at all..and can you also Ask Cap..Coach and Manizeh to make him have like four bottles of water? Tell him that I asked this off him..water always helps..he knows it helps me..I’m sure he hasn’t had even a sip off it..please tell him to take care of himself for I am already feeling so guilty about this whole situation – it was my fault as I panicked that way – also tell him that I am sorry...just tell him that now surely everyone in this hospital wwill know now after the MRI that his Sunshine is crazy in the head...that’s what this scanning is about...that’s all...tell him I’m going to sleep through it..please ask him not to worry...and ask him to eat his lunch too...tell him he has to eat and drink and tell him to take care..so that I can sleep peacefully without having to worry about him please doctor..will you tell him this...I would have told him myself if he was here.. but he isnt..so..”

The Nurse smiled as she added – “ and she then asked me to tell You this – My Hoodie Guy...I love you...and I will be ok I’m just going to sleep a lot to just reboot my system you know I always need that..please just take care of yourself in the meanwhile...”

I FEEL LOVE GUSHH THROUGH MY BEING.

AND.

MY HEART HAS COME BACK TO LIFE.

ITS DYING ENGINE HAS BEEN RESTARTED.

THANK YOU GOD.

The Doctor ssmiles as he continues – “ so with that to the Nurse.. she dozed off to sleep in a couple of minutes after..you know since the impact of the painkillers surely making her want to rest...and rest is exactly what she needs.ASR...”, finishes the doctor with a amused smile and he says looking at me – “ she is very brave ASR..and if she could get all of that message out to us...and ask me and sister to convey all of that to you.. ASR...we are pretty sure that the concussion is surely a mild one...no hidden internal trauma surely in the head...but still we got to dO what we got to do right????its better to be sure...”

I nod now – still totally gobsmacked by whatever I had just heard!

GODAAMMITTT YOU SUNSHINE.

THE THINGS YOU MAKE ME FEEL.

I ask softly now , my loving gaze lingering on her still – “ can I just be by her side as you take her to the MRI? I wont be a hindrance only until the radiology department and I apologize for the tussle earlier..I was just very...”

The Doctor nods as he completes the sentence for me – “ dazed and lost I know ASR..its ok I understand it happens..and..I just need some of you to take care of the formalities too...we surely are going to admit her for two nights three days surely....you need to get the room done in the meanwhile.. too..because thats where I suggest we take her too after the scans..”

Coach sir – “ i have already taken care off most of them..dont worry about that..” , and he looks at me – “ arnav...you be with Khushi...me, Dev, and Manizeh will take care of everything and see you outside the radiology department in a bit...”

Cap puts his hand on my shoulder again- “ everyone will be here soon too...they are on their way...dont worry Arnav khushi will be all ffine soon..”,

Everyone as in All of MY family ..Sachi Maam and Zoya – they will all be here Soon!

CAP now turns to Manizeh – “ Manizeh cmon then...you go with him and make sure he has all that water or else what face am I going to show Khushi when she wakes up..she will be like....Cap..you should have taken care of MY Hoodie guy ya...”, he finishes with a fond warm smile and adds – “ and we will take care of the formalities...go...now..”

And I nod at them and I bend forward on relfex as I kiss Khushis forhead gently fearing that it may hurt her because that’s how pale and fragile she looked in the bed right now and I just keep my eyes on her face as I now just walk down side along with her and the Nurses to the RADIOLOGY department.

...............

Twenty Minutes Later

Arnavs POV Continues

So its been 20 minutes since MY Sunshine is wheeled into the MRI Machine – away from my eyes again.

I am feeling like a Banished Zombie again – but I do sip on the third bottle of water now – only because Khushi literallly left like a set of instructions for me with the Doctor and the Nurse.

Jeeeeezzzz!

This Woman!

You know now that I had processed the doctors and nurses words again and analysed Khushis set of Instructions to me – I did feel a tad bit better in my Head , Heart and Soul – like just about 5 percent better.

Like I think I could feel my breathes a little bit more and my hearts is feeling a tad bit relaxed too.

But – just 5 percent.

The Remaining 95 percent of that will only happen once I talk to My Sunshine in person...not like through her Human Messengers.

But can you Beleive this guys?

She sent out two Human Messaengers to Me!

Godaamit Sunshine you know me in and out – you knew it’s what I probably needed to hear in that Moment.

Godammit Woman – I love you!

And.

70 more bloody minutes until I see her again and then I am not going to leave her side at all – because we are going to be in the Room – let anyone try to stop me from Holding her hand then..and they will witness a wrath theyv never seen before.

My chain of thoughts is broken now as Manizeh hands me another 500ml of bottle of water as she gives me a small smile and stands next to me and leans back against the wall too , just like I was leaning against the wall outside the radiology department – “cmon then ASR...gulp that down..its the fourth one...just following your Sunshines instructions in here...”

I nod as I start to gulp it down In Silence and Manizeh states softly – “ I’m sorry..maybe I shouldn’t have got Khushi there..but she looked so distressed then...and just the look on her face and the pain in her eyes...it just...”

I pause in my sips of water and I look at Manizeh. I have known Manizeh for three years now – she is our Head Physios assistant – and we are a close knit unit along with every member of the support team as well and Manizeh has been a acquaintance for long enough for me to know that this was not her fault and I say to her immediately – “ dont be sorry Manizeh..not your fault.. I know Khushi in and out..she can be well...how do I put this...yes.. quite convincing when she has those looks up her sleeve...she totally has a range of looks up her sleeve that I could or can never say No to..too...so yes...and I understand that she panicked ..with the thought of me being in there with all that angry mob on the outside.. for like you have witnessed now – when it comes to each other, any potential thought of any harm to the other..kind off switches off all the Lights in our Heads..all at once..you did see how I was until I got her message now didnt you??so yeah..I understand...not your fault...”

Manizeh smiles now and she nods – “ you both really really love each other dont you??”

I nod on reflex – “ yes...we do..we most definetly cannot do without each other at all..”

Manizeh smiles and nods and readjusts Khushis sling bag that she had around herself..they had handed it over to us the minute we had reached in the emergency.She looks into her phone now and she states – “ ok so now that you are able to talk..I think I should tell you that the entire havoc with the mob has been settled down..theres a little of frenzy still within the media with their speculations ...but most of it is settled after Coachs official statement went viral that whatever was leaked out was not true at all and that he was disappointed in the sudden anger outburst on the two of you on the basis of just a rumour which is most definetly untrue and that it was sad that they didnt wait for official statements and then the BcCi presidents statement from about ten minutes ago also stated the same thing and is being covered up by all channels..and he also added that as of now we would keep our silence in this matter with no further explanations and will send out official statements soon on the whole debacle..in a day or two..and asked the public to have faith in both You and Cap and respect all the laurels the two of you have bought to Indian cricket ever since each of you started playing...and he most definetly stated that the BCCI will surely be taking legal actions against the news channel for being so irresponsible in actually rolling out the rumour and making it look like a convincing truth when there was no truth in it all...”

And I say on reflex now feeling the Anger return to consume my Heart – “ oh yes not just the BCCI...I am most definitely suing the channel too...even though I know that suing and stuff in our country is like a tedious process...I dont freaking care..I am not going to spare them for all this turmoil I have faced because of their carelessness...I mean...I understand that the reporter was out there doing his job trying to get his ears on a big news for he most definetly has his bosses to report too...and I understand that Raju and Ramu were totally unaware of the fact that there hushed talks amongst themselves were being overheard..but what I am not able to understand or digest the fact that how the bosses of national media channel...did not assess this in their brains that this sort of a news had to be double checked before even being rolled out...they knew the gravity of this kind of a news being rolled out...they most surely know what cricket is to the country...and they knew it would create the hue and cry that it did...and hence it is safe for me to conclude that they most definetly did this intentionally for their very own TRPs and for that they are going to have to pay...”, I finish and I continue to gulp down the water and Manizeh says – “ I know what you mean...you are right...”

And guys.

Know this.

Even though I understand the Emotion in the public..as in I know where its stemming from – I still feel like I have Been Axed today in so many ways -Personally ...Hell yes..but Professionally too.

I knew it – the Minute I had put on the Indian Jersey officialy as a national and international cricket player for India when I was 18 – that my Life would never be the same again...and I had embraced the fact well that being a Seasoned Indian cricket player for this long – surely came with two sides to the Coin – on one side there was all this fame, name..public love etc and on the other side were all the collateral damages and emotional taxes that each of us had to pay as a tax for the first side.

But today I am feeling so axed professionally too within because in this entire Debacle I just feel that People have Forgotten the fact that I am only Human.

That Cap is Only Human.

What has happened today only makes me Feel like all the country Cares about is our Game..our gaming avatar...we are just looked upon as sport entertainment Tools and not as Humans at all.

It reinstates the Fact that all that will Matter to the public will be just the Game – and they give a ratts about what we actually feel as Humans.

And I know this is also what has Hurt not Me but Cap too..so so deeply.

That after giving and dedicating a decade( in my case) and two decades( in Caps case) – of our Lives in just living, breathing cricket , making sure that our personal lives and families understand the dynamic of our profession and support us through it – the public thinks that it’s ok for them to react this way towards US on the basis of a rumour.

Do they not remember that Cap missed being there for Zoyas birth becuase Sachi maam went into labour while we were in the Middle of a Game in England? And he was informed mid innings that he had become a Father – and he was elated and so so so happy and could have totally flown back to india after the match that day -.butcher didnt...he waited for the next three days until the series finished and we went back together.

How could they forget this?

How could they forget that we spend half our lives being away from home and our families missing out on a numerous personal milestones and occasions because of how strongly we abide by our duty to cricket as International Players?

We are most definetly hurt and disappointed because this was a insane fanatic reaction to just A Rumour – which wasn’t the true picture at all.

I mean after all this while – didnt they have any faith in Me or Cap for that matter- that we would surely not Step Down together!

Didnt they have any faith in their hearts at all?

Even after all this while?

And now I just feel like – is it even worth it???

The public is never going to care about us As Humans and here ...the only Human that matters the most to me – is being Subjected to all this Nonsense all because she loves me the way she does!

I recall all that I have had to face in my personal space with Khushi because of this aand me being the Cricket celebrity that I was – all that My Precious Sunshine has had to face because of me being who I am ..every bit off it uptil this very moment In time.. and it....ONLY angers me more and frustrates me too – for it feels like the storms from this side of my world wont just stop shoving themselves into Khushis Face – and it hurts me and frustrates me that shes had to go through so much for me..so so so much.

I feel myself being sucked into Whirpools of Despair.

I am in such a dark place within because of all this frustration and anger that part off me right now just wants to Quit the Game. ALL l I want to do in this very moment of time is to just hang my Bat in and to Just Quit from Cricket this very second.

It’s not freaking worth the torture Me or my loved ones have been subjected to in our personal lives!

And right then another thought comes in.

And.

I am even more deeply frustrated by the thought that just came – a thought that tells me that after everything I have seen on the TV today – theres this backend gut intuition telling me that no matter what I do – the public is going to start playing blame games towards MY Sunshine and bash her and left right and center – for my decisions anyway – which was so so so wrong!

And it’s horrible that it’s been that way in our country..There were so many times in the past that partners or spouses of our team players over the years have been blamed for the others decisions or sometimes even for the fall or the plateau in performance of a player - which is so so so wrong!

This ATTITUDE is exactly what needs to Change!

And.

The Public needs to understand that it is completely wrong to blame our partners for Our professional decisions, no matter what the Case!

And right then a thought crosses my head as I turn to Manizeh – “ manizeh ..that incident in the cafe...I need the camera footage...I am.most definetly going to file a harassment case against those two girls who purposely tried to Hurt my Sunshine and encouraged the ganging up on her..you recognise them dont you?? Help me on this ok?”

Manizeh nods – “ ofcourse...I knew you would ask me for this...dont worry...we all know that you wouldn’t let anyone get away with trying to hurt Khushi in anyway..and the two girls are being bashed up online anyway becuase someone in there apparently recorded the incident on their phone and posted it online and the sensible public of our country are like aghasted by the fact that how could they record the video and not help Khushi in the moment and the two girls are also being bashed up online.. .”, and i say immediately- “ you helped Khushi..thank you so much Manizeh...shes new in the city and the country and I can only imagine the shock and turmoil she must have felt at being ganged up on that way...thank you so muchhh...and I dont care if the girls are being bashed up online...I still need to file a harassment suit against them...”

Manizeh smiles now – “CMon ASR..dont thank me ok..the minute I spotted Khushi i had to I intervene and you are right just online bashing isnt enough for those girls they were downright mean and disgusting to her.. I was aghasted with fury when I saw one of them purposely pour the cup of take away coffee in her hand over khushis hand and then didnt even let the server help her with ice she literally snatched it away before Khushi could tend to herself it was terrible and..it was malicious..and they had no right..no matter what..even if the rumour was true and you were retiring.. its like they couldnt blame your partner for it or treat her this way..for it’s your decision they have to learn to respect that fact that you are only human.. “, and she pauses and adds softly – “ its anyway been news amongst all of us...that you are one of those who strongly believed that any kind of bullying that crosses the line and becomes malicious in its intent should not be ignored.. for instance you literally had the Cops go to that mans house in Cuba on accounts for cyber bullying...a different country..but still..”

I nod as I shrug – “ but it’s a pity that the Lord Voldermort got away with just one day in the cell and then a warning and community service..”

Manizeh nods – “ I think the fact that he confessed to his misdenemour helped...”

Yes Guys – I obviously had seen to it that the Lord Voldermort ( from our Live Chat)was punished once both our sources and Ashers sources confirmed to us that the IP address had stemmed from that very location and human - even though I had,had to pull a lot of strings to get in touch with the Cops in Cuba – but wasnt difficult or impossible because well Ravi knew some cop in the West Indies force who had some family connection in the Cuban police force – but yes...this is a news that’s been kept confidential within my team mates and all our family members – both Khushis side and mine...even though Khushi did try to convince me to just let the man get away with just the warning and not the 24 hours in the cell..I convinced her on the pretext that if he wasnt stopped or shown the mirror for the great mistake he had committed- he would only go on to do the same to God knows who all online.

MY Sunshine agreed then...and she was very happy that the man had been given community service as a punishment.

She did say to me – “ hoodie guy..community service will help him...more affectively..it willl most surely make him see things in a different perspective..”

Oh My Precious Innocent Naive Sunshine.

You most Definetly Do Not Deserve all the Shit and Mess that you have been through because of Me.

But I am a selfish Beast of the Highest Order when it comes to You – and because you also made me promise that I would always remain a SELFISH beast when it came to You – I am working on getting this Guilt Out of MY System – the guilt I am feeling for you being subjected to so so so much turmoil always because of me – first the mindgame from COACH sir ,our real time separation for almost a year – then the entire online trolling episode and now this bashing again and right now it wasn’t just a emotional turmoil – physical too..and i know that she was feeling guilty about it in her head too for panicking that way and coming to me , she s probably beating up herself for it in her head for being careless and as much as a part of my mind wishes that she would have gone home to Safety ..its’s like a part of Me ..my heart..it Understands her actions- for when it comes to Me – she is way too Vulnerable within just like I am for her – You know how they Say sometimes the one who is your biggest strength is the only one who has the power to be like your biggest Vulnerability – yeah just in that way...so I Understand.

My chain of thought is broken as Manizeh says softly, continuing to look into her phone – “ just so you know...there are now statements from the Mob groups stating that they didnt ever wish for anyone to be hurt..and that it was a terrible accident..they were aiming to hit the BCCI glass door with that stone..Khushi came in the way all of a sudden and got hit.. they say they are feeling bad about it all...and some are now wishing Khushi a speedy recovery too..and they are stating that they will wait for official statements from the two of you...”

I say on reflex ,surely the anger was evident in my voice – “ official statement my foot...I’m not giving any at all...until MY Sunshine is out of here...because I most surely am.in the mood to convert the rumour into a reality....you know what Manizeh I am so so FREAKING disappointed and hurt right now.. professionally too..”

And right then I hear Caps voice as he walks up to us – “ i pretty much feel the same my friend...and they are most surely not getting any statement from me too Until Khushi is out of here too ASR..I stated my disappointment in the public very subtly just now...”

I looked at Cap – “ what did you do Cap??”

Cap shrugged – “my social media handles were being flooded ofcourse in order to get reactions out of me to this whole debacle..and I stated on all of My SOCIAL media with a common post tthat they could continue burning down our postes if they wanted but for the next two three days I only had one answer to give them all – the Answer of My Disappointed Silence..and I suspended all my social media handles for a bit..about fifteen minutes after that post..giving it enough time to go viral.. which it had..for I will only speak once and for all in a press conference..in a couple of days from now...”

Coach comes up to us now – “ I have just had calls coming in from the media channels checking up on Khushis condition...I didnt give them any answers and hung up on the only call I had picked up and didnt take any after...but the video footage of what happened outside the BCCi is doing rounds on every television set in the nation...”

Manizeh looks at me and states looking into her phone - “ and support is now gushing in through all of the cricketing fraternity all over the world for the two of you on their respective social media handles...each of them condemning the mobs agitation..towards the players who given so much to Indian cricket...and dont even get me started on the tweets and posts our entire Men in blue team and the support team are flooding out on their handles...ravi ,shiv , kunal,singh, yuvaan...all of them for that matter literally have been at it...and now all of them just followed Caps actions and posted the same post that he did -that all the they had to give to everyone was a disappointed silence and everyone is now collectively deciding upon just getting off Social media for a bit in a protest of disappointment towards the public....yup they are all doing it...”

I nod as I look at everyone and right then a nurse comes out of the MRI area and I ask on reflex – “is she ok?? Is my khushi ok??”

She smiles- “ ASR..she is in the MRI still...45 minutes more to go...relax...”

Manizeh smiles – “Asr..dont worry...I’ll just go in and check in on her once again...and if it makes you feel any better I will stay in there next to the radiologist until her scan is over...its a good thing that a lot of doctors here are known to me...coach and Cap are here now..”

I nod – “ thank you Manizeh...that would surely make me feel better that atleast someone I know is in there with around Khushi..even its watching her from afar..thank you.. .”

She smiles at me – “ dont worry about it...”,and she makes her way in.

I couldnt thank Manizeh enough.

But.

Godammit.

45 minutes More.

Why wouldnt the Time pass by Faster when you needed it to?

Why did it feel like all Time loved to do – was to just Slow down on us Humans when we wanted it to whisk away after?

I need to distract myself.

I look at Cap and Coach as I admit – “I’m suing the Media House....”, and I go onto explain the reason for my action and Cap and Coach nods and Cap says – “ I agree.. this was totally an intentional controversy for TRPs...I think I want to join you..”

Coach sir – “ the BCci is taking legal action too..so in short they willl be screwed..only fair.. “

“ well Sir..not just SCRWED..they are royally screwed for..I already filed the charges against them ...one of our legal teams is already at the media house head office Right now.. stating in this very moment to the CEO that Arun Singh Raizada has filed a Rs 100 crore lawsuit against them for defamation and unnecessary harassment and physical injuries brought to my family members and friends because of their irresponsible behaviour....how dare they misuse the power in their hands to cause a controversy as huge as this one...how dare they...they are going to have to pay up.. ” , comes my fathers curt voice into our ears and we all instantly look up as we see all of my Family walking upto us along with Sachi maam and Zoya too And Dad hugs me first thing out and I hug him back hard and i hold onto him in silence for two minutes and then I now instantly pull my teary eyed Mom and Anjali and Dadi into a group hug too and then hug Ravi too in silence for two minutes and then return to hugging Mom to my side for she wont stop crying and I see Cap pull in Sachi Maam and Zoya into a hug too and then I greet them both too as I say to Sachi maam that she shouldn’t have come to the hospital with the little one but she was all like I had too..I couldnt be at home ,I am anyway feeling so terrible about leaving khushi there...and I just assure her that her leaving with little Zoya was the right thing to do because she was a little baby.....and once we all are done meeting each other , Mom asks softly still hugged into my side ,through her tears – “ hows Khushi...Cap.. kept us updated on everything...but still..I want to know...hows she...”

Dadi wipes a tear outta her eye – “ our precious Khushi...she will be ok right??

Anjali instantly says ,hugging onto Ravi and Dad– “ yes dadi ..mom..she will be ok ..dont worry at all...just the MrI is on...they will take her to the room after I am sure..”

Dad takes a deep breathe as he states in his loving,sincere and serious voice – “ son dont worry.. I am not going to spear the media house...but you and Cap stay out of this..well because I do not want the two of your names infused in any legal battles..so ....I will take care of that...they cannot get away for playing with my Family and friends.”

I nod.

Ravi sighs – “ there was some media frenzy outside the hospital too as we were getting in...I gave them a peice of my mind obviouslly and requested them to give us our space and privacy in these personal moments ....they were asking about Khushis health status and I just told them that she is stable but was in the MRI...and then Dad threatened them..that if they didnt let us through in without causing a chaos..he would sue each of their media houses too just like he was suing the one who broadcasted the bloody rumour in the first place...and well they did give us the way then...”

I hug Dad Imemdiately again.

And hold him tight.

DAD CAN BE A WRATH TO FACE WHEN HE IS ANGRY.

Just like Me.

Or maybe even More than Me.

AND RIGHT NOW.

HE IS ANGRY.

VERY ANGRY FOR WHAT HAS Happened to both Me and Khushi.

And two minutes later, I pull back and Dad says softly – “ our khushi will be ok...dont you worry son..shes a brave one a fighter...I’m surely going to play my chess with her ..in the hospital room surely...tomm and day after but I’m sure..we will be able to take her home soon..”

I nod.

And I ask on reflex now as a thought comes to my head – “ everyone back in cape town...they ok?? Did you tell them that Khushi is ok?? I Haven’t been able to speak to anyone..”

Mom sighs – “well we all spoke to them..they were obviously very worried and shaken and frantic because the video of that scene outside the BCCi has obviously gone viral..they were obviously worried for Khushi...but they are better now that I told them that she was stable...aand everyone’s on their way as in not just Asher,zain and Zara as on schedule...”

Anjali – “ uncle,aunty,rahul,diya..they are all coming too..they managed to get the last minute flight changes.. they will all be here tomorrow morning..”

I sigh as I admit dejected – “ and with what face will I meet them all Mom? I promised them that I’d take care of Khushi always..I’d protect her..id keep her happy and right now my Sunshine is stable but..shes still been injured.....and I cannot even begin to tell you how fragile and pale and weak she looks amidst all those bandages and injuries..and it’s going to be hours until I am able to talk to her...mom I’m dying to just listen to her voice right now...iv been dying to hear her say...my hoodie guy....”,I pause as my throat gets blocked with emotion.

Mom hugs me hard and I hold onto her as I feel the rest of my family members hands come to my shoulders for support too all at once – but a part of me within is still Feeling like a Lost and Banished Zombie.

Godammit Sunshine.

Pleaseeee.

Just godammit please!

Just get Fine Soon and Smile at Me – the only way to get the Sun shining Around on Me.

My Heart is being Shadowed with so so much Darkness right now – you say theres always a Light Switch in there,somewhere.

But I can’t seem to find it Sunshine!

For.

Theres no way that I can reach that Switch without You.

And there Most Definetly Isnt Any Light Around – Without You!

.........................

90 Minutes Later – 4PM

In the Hospital Suite

Arnav Pov Continues

I feel another bout of angst in my heart as I hold onto MY Sunshines bandaged hand that had been scalded with the minor burn and I see the Sister attach a bottle of IV Drip to her IV Cannula on her other hand.

And why do I feel that bout of angst?

Because My Sunshines is still looking so pale and fragile as she continues to be in a deep sleep despite the fact that all these movements are happening around her – shes probably still feeling weak within to be able to get up – the sister had said that the trip to the washroom after the MRI in the radiology department( before she had been wheeled out to us) had tired her out and shed fallen of to sleep almost after – but the fact that she could walk with the nurse to the washroom with a little assistance and the fact that she had left another message for me with the Nurse had been a balm to my aching heart.

The message she left for me with the Nurse - “ please tell my hoodie guy that I am feeling a little weak and tired..that’s all..so I’l probably just be sleeping again...ask him not to worry...”

She was brought into the room about 30 minutes ago..and I have been by her side ofcourse...holding onto her hand unable to tear myself away from her side or my eyes off her face.

Rest everyone is right now seated in the living Suite Area on the other side which is divided by the Curtain.

I told them all – that I was going to be My Sunshines Side.

Mom and Anjali did feed me a sandwich while I was seated right next to her and I gulped it down even though I had no appetite only becuase Manizeh reminded me about the instructions Khushi had left for me and everyone agreed in consensus that I surely had to take care because it would otherwise affect Khushis recovery sleep...becuase some part of her would sense the vibe anyway – you know since everyone knows how intense our emotional connection is.

Right then I’m distracted in my thoughts as I hear the curtains being pulled behind me and I look back to see Mom and she comes to me as she states softly in my ears – “ the doctors are hear Arnav..come on then...let’s talk to them..and then you can come back and be with Khushi..”

I nod as I get up and kiss on Khushis forhead gently and I request the Nurse to be by her side until I return.

The nurse looks at me as she states softly- “ ASR...dont worry..”

I follow Mom out and we close the curtains behind us slowly and I see everyone as in – Dad,dadi,anjali,ravi,cap,coach,sachi maam, and little Zoya all huddled around the sofas and the dining table and three doctors now standing near them one of them I instantly recognised from the emergency ,and the other two were senior doctors and I greeted them politely and was told that one of the doctors was from the neuro department and the other from the general physician one , and the neuro doctor now says giving me a smile – “ so ASR...would have definetly loved to meet you all under different circumstances but I am happy to tell you that the circumstances arent all that bad too...wev both been through the MRI scans and I see absolutely no internal injury whatsoever...”

I feel my breathes and heartbeats relax- about one percent more.

The other doctor gives us a polite smile – “well except for the mild concussion in the head ofcourse...and the other minor injuries that she is sustained you know the minor burn on one hand, the muscular sprain on her right ankle and then another muscular sprain around her lower back....and also a a little swelling around one of her elbows... ”

Ok.

So my breathe that had just relaxed got HITHCED BACK.

FOR.

MY SUNSHINE WAS STILL CLEARY QUITE INJURED IN A LOT OF PLACES.

THEY SAY ITS ALL MINOR.

BUT SO MANY MINoR INJURIES ALL AT ONCE IS WHAT HAS MADE HER SO WEAK SURELY!

MY HEART CLUTCHES IN ANGST AGAIN.

Dad reads my head I think as he voices out – “ that’s a lot of minor injuries you just listed out there for us Doctor...”

The doctor smiles now politely – “ yes I know...but she is doing good..she is stable.. her vitals are stable and hence we are not worried...obviously the weakness is going to be a lot today and then theres going to be pain too..but it will get better by tomorrow surely.. she needs to rest...rest will help her heal on all accounts..and that’s why we encourage to just let her keep resting it out...its better if she sleeps through the episode...the painkillers have slight sedatives anyway...and dont worry if she complains of headaches for a day or two..only normal after a concussion..we are surely going to keep her in her for two to three nights maybe..and then she will be good to be taken home...”

Mom asks softly – “ doc...how much time will she be up and about and all fine...we cant see her this way..”

The doc smiles- “ a week at the most...provided all of you make sure she gets plenty of rest...she should be all hail and hearty in a week..let’s say just in time for Xmas..its the 19th today...”

I nod at him as I ask softly – “ when will she be awake though?? As in when will she be able to talk to us...”

Everyone gave me overwhelmed emotional looks they knew watching my Sunshine speechless on me this way was killing me.

The doctor smiles now and keeps a hand on my shoulder – “ ASR..she will surely be dozing a lot on and off in between and the nurses will anyway be checking on her every two hours to make sure shes waking up easily ...so dont worry about that..and she did talk to the nurses after the MrI...so hopefully the next time she does that you are around her..and to be honest its these initial seven to eight hours of sleep that are very good for her.. so again this is not her being unconscious ..its her being asleep and resting..so that she can recoup faster...we are going to have her on drips and multivitamins uptil tomm morning surely until she can sit up and eat..its just now and tonight that’s going to be like this..she will be better tomorrow morning..”

I nod – “ ok then...thank you so so so muchhhh...”

And everyone greets them and the doctors tell us not to worry at all and that things are stable and under control and that they would come later on on the evening again for rounds.

We watch them leave and everyone pulls me into a comforting hug one by one now as they reassure me that MY Sunshine was going to be better by tomorrow.

I nod at everyone and I ask Sachi maam and lil Zoya to go Home with Dadi now and they say they will go home in a bit.

I nod at them all and make my way back to My Sunshines side.

And I sit on the stool and I hold her bandaged hand and I kiss on it softly.

I know Sunshine ...I know that you are getting better in your sleep and are healing and will be in a better position tomorrow...but My Hearts Raging On Me as I have to see you like this so weak and fragile in this Hospital Bed!

I am still feeling like a Really Lost Zombie right Now!

I had no clue how was I going to get through the rest of Today!

...............

EIGHT HOURS THIRTY MINUTES LATER

Same Day – 1:00 AM

In the hospital Suite

Arnavs POV Continues

Guys.

I am still very much like a Lost Zombie right now.

Or wait.

I feel like a Little Lost Child Zombie right now – because I truly feel like a child in my emotions right now – very very vulnerable.

You know why?

Because I still haven’t been able to talk to My Sunshine.

As in I haven’t been able to spot Her Awake – even though I have been by Her Side like all the Time, holding onto her Hand – except that I think its like Time is playing some cruel games on me because the only time I wasn’t by her side – was when My Sunshine had woken up for a bit like 5 to 7 minutes stretch.

As in the two times she did wake up to go on a washroom break in the last a little over eight hours – I missed seeing her awake in that window of 5 to 7 minutes– because at one Time – I had gone to freshen up myself on the Floors washroom outside since Mom was in the washroom in the room and everyone else did get to see Khushi awake for like 5 minutes after but not me – because by the time I came back into the room – she was dozing off to sleep almost – but our eyes had locked in an intense eyelock and she had even smiled at me before closing her eyes to sleep and that had instantly helped my breathes and heartbeats in the moment as I placed my hand over her head and brushed her hair tenderly and she had then slept with a little smile up her face.(which had smoothened my nerves)

And then Mom had also mentioned to me after Khushi was asleep that Khushi asked her to tell me – that she loved me and asked her if I had eaten and if I was taking care.

Mom had obviously assured her that I had.

And I think that’s why she had that smile on her face as she slept then.

And then the second time she had woken up – I had gone to see off everyone until the elevator on our floor around like 11:00 PM – and the byes took a little longer as I thanked everyone for being there for me like rocksolid support and then ofcourse since everyone was arriving from Cape Town tomorrow too , I was just briefly discussing the arrangements with Mom, Dad, dadi and Anjali since they were the last ones to leave – and by the time Anjali and me came back to the room(we were both obviously staying the night with her in the hospital) – Khushi had gone off to sleep again – and the Nurse had informed me that she had asked about me first thing out and that she had told her that I had been by her side all through out – I had just gone out to see off everyone a while ago.

And now its freaking 1:00 am – and all I am dying for is to just hear her voice for like one second.

Even its for One Second.

Its just me and her right now , for I asked Anjali to get sleep on the sofa cum bed on the other side and I told her that I will take the other couch later – I lied though – I am surely not going to sleep at all.

I am totally going to sit by my Sunshines side now.

I AM GOING TO BE RIGHT HERE UNTIL SHE WAKES UP THIS TIME AROUND.

YEAH GUYS – I AM THE ZOMBIED HAWK NOW TOO.

The very next minute, the night duty sister comes in to check on her vitals and she tells me with a smile that they were all stable and that she would come back to check on her in another hour and then she also changes the IV drip bottle and takes her leave.

And I continue to hold onto My Sunshines hand and gaze at her lovingly and achingly – like a Zombied Hawk.

Sunshine – I love you Godammit.

………………………………….

45 Minutes Later

– Arnav’s POV Continues

I feel a GETNLE AND LOVIING brush of fingers on my head now and my eyes flutter open.

GODAMMIT.

I THINK I FELL ASLEEP WITH MY HEAD BENDING FORWARD NEXT TO MY SUNSHINES HAND ON THE BED.

MY HEARTBEATS FREEZE.

WAS THIS MY SUNSHINES HAND BRUSHING THROUGH MY HAIR??????????????

I LOOK UP ON REFLEX NOW – AND MY HEARTBEATS THAT HAD FROZEN A SECOND AGO - LITERALLY COME BACK TO LIFE AS I TAKE IN THE SIGHT OF MY SUNSHINE LOOKING AT ME WITH OVERHWLEMED EMOTIONAL EYES.

She was Awake!

And I was by her Side this Time.

THANK YOU GOD.

FINALLY.

MY EYES LOCK WITH HERS IN AN SUPERINTENSE EYELOCK.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY – DEAR HEART AND LUNGS.

YOU CAN BREATHE AND FEEL THE HEARTBEATS AGAIN..

PERMISSION GRANTED.

And I kiss on her bandaged hand softly – the overwhelmed emotions I am feeling have surely welled up my eyes too and khushi says softly now , keeping her eyes locked with mine – “ hey you…hoodie guy…”, and SHE SMILES.

GUYS

LITERALLY..

I FEEL LIKE I HAVE BEEN BORN AGAIN.

FOR I CAN NOW FEEL MY BREATHES LIKE BACK TO BACK ONE AFTER THE OTHER.

AND SAME GOES FOR MY HEARTBEATS - MY HEART HAS FINALLY KICK STARTED ITS EMOTIONAL ENGINE AGAIN.

I HAVE LITERALLY JUST SWITCHED BACK TO THE HUMAN MODE – FROM THE LOST ZOMBIE MODE I WAS IN ALL DAY – IN A FRACTION OF A SECOND.

BUT – GODAMMIT ME.

MY VOICEBOX IS CRASHED.

JUST WHEN I HAVE BEEN DYING TO TALK TO HER AND SHE IS FINALLY AWAKE AND IS LOOKING AT ME WITH OVERHWLEMED EMOTION.

MY VOICEBOX DECIDES TO GET CHOKED WITH EMOTION.

GREEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTT.

BUT SHE KNOWS.

I KNOW SHE KNOWS I AM SPEECHLESS – ITS IN HER EYES.

I KISS ON HER BANDAGED HANDS- TEN TIMES OVER – ALL THE TIME NOT LOOKING AWAY FROM HER EYES.

I THEN GET UP FROM MY STOOL AND I BEND FORWARD AND I KISS HER FORHEAD AND THEN HER EYES SOFTLY AND HER CHEEKS TOO AND I CUP HER FACE AND I CLOSE MY EYES AND I KEEP MY FOREHEAD ON HERS IN A OVERHWELMING SILENCE – THAT WAS ACTUALLY NOT SILENT.

SHE COULD READ MY EMOTIONS I KNOW.

I CAN FEEL HER EYES ON MY FACE.

I hear her soft voice come through into my ears now – “ I love you so so so much hoodie guy….please open your eyes and look into mine…I missed you so so so much…I know…you missed me as much too..please open your eyes…”

I do.

And I cup her face gently as I say softly now – “ I missed you even more…godammit Sunshine…I…I….”,and I pause, my voicebox gets choked with emotion again.

Khushi whispers softly – “ hoodie guy…please help me get this bed elevated a little until midway…”

I ask concerned immediately – “ Sunshine..are you sure??”

She nods – “ yes love…please…I just want to be with you…until I feel like I want to sleep again…please…I need to be with you…just you…”

I nod on reflex as I use the remote and get the bed up halfway and she says softly now – “ Love…will you please come and sit next to me on the bed…from that stool??”

I look at her concerned – “ but Sunshine…what if I hurt you…? I don’t want to hurt you…you are already so…hurt”, I finish with a choked pause.

“You wont hurt me…please…just come close to me…I need to hug you Hoodie Guy…”, she says softly in a tone and a look up her face so vulnerable and Pure and full of Love that I cannot say no to.

AND I HAVE BEEN DYING TO FEEL HER IN MY ARMS TOO.

SO MAYBE IF I JUST ENGULF HER INTO ME GENTLY – WOULD BE EXACTLY WHAT WE BOTH NEED RIGHT NOW.

I immediately sit up next to her and I pull her into my arms and I hug her gently, but like I mentioned…I engulf her in my arms now completely and just as I feel her tighten her arms around me and I feel the warmth of her in my arms – its like my Heart totally experiences another Happy Birthday moment of its own – along with my Lungs.

And I just hold onto her possessively and tight and I hear her whisper come through my ears now – “ I am so sorry Arnav..i am so so so sorry for this…I panicked…I ..i…I put you in danger too…if you had gotten hurt because of my stupidity I would have died ya…im so glad you are ok…im so glad…that you are not hurt..”,and she pulls back and uses her bandaged hand to cup my face as she asks softly looking into my eyes – “ I scared the hell out of you didn’t i? I know seeing me like this has butchered you beyond repair…I am sorry…Arnav…I …i…”,and I put my finger on her lips immediately again – appauled by the fact that she says this to me – when she is the one who is so weak and fragile in the hospital bed.

I hug her immediately again and I say immediately and urgently – “ shhhhh…shhhh…just….shhh…godammit Khushi…don’t you dare Sunshine…don’t you dare even utter the word sorry to me…”

She hugs me hard and says softly – “ but I am sorry ..i worried everyone…both here and in Cape Town too…I know they are all coming tomorrow…oh godammit me…I am sorry Love…”

I hug her harder but gently as I whisper – “ its me who is sorry dammit…look at you having to face another storm because of me…not just emotionally this time around…physically too…Sunshine..godammit…you have no idea…i…i…”

And she says softly , still hugging onto me, we were both hugging onto each other as if our lives depended on it – well they technically did in the moment. “ hoodie guy…I know…I understand….shh..i know…just a usual windy storm ya..we will sail through as usual..I love you…I love you so so much..pleasee just hold me tight…you wont hurt me..just hold me as tight as you can”

I do.

But still not as tight as I could.

I was too afraid of hurting her – in my crushing hug – if I hugged her with the intensity that would match my stormed emotions from all day earlier. I admit honestly - “ I love you Sunshine…I love you so so so much…I feel like I can breathe again…I feel like my hearts come back to life…the darkroom that had consumed my being finally sees a flicker of light…all because I could finally see you awake and listen to your voice in real…I did get your messages through all the human messengers you sent my way…they helped for like a bit…but the darkness in my emotions took over again..i needed to just feel you in my arms awake, to hear your voice..to hear you say hoodie guy…I was dying to have you talk to me…which also made me feel like a selfish beast because I knew the rest and sleep were important for you..”, I whisper back softly

And she pulls back as she gives me a soft smile and kisses my hand and looks into my eyes – “I know…and like I said..you must always be the selfish beast of the highest order when it comes to me…but I can’t believe all the missed calls encounters we’v been missing on with each other in the two times I woke up in the room – but I know you’v been by my side all through out…I know…you were holding my hand all through out as I was sleeping…I know…”

And I kiss her forhead softly now and I ask softly – “ are you ok? How do you feel?? You have so many injuries Khushi…the weakness is only natural…the doctors said this will get better tomorrow…”

And Khushi does not answer me as she asks softly – “ you tell me first..are you ok?? I know youv been through so much today otherwise too…I know you are also hurt in your heart because of the way the public reacted to the rumour…you are very hurt in there aren’t you ?? And then I acted so stupid and subjected you to all this pain personally too…im sorry love…so so so sorry…”,and she hugs me again,and I hug her tight and I whisper – “ you are asking me if I am ok?instead of telling me how you are?? Godammit Sunshine..you are crazy to be saying what you are saying to me right now…”

And she whispers in my ears hugging me tight – “ I know…im sure all the doctors in here also know that I am crazy maybe..they all saw my MRI didn’t they…last time I was not labelled crazy..this time I surely must have been labelled crazy…I must ask the doctors tomorrow…”

GODAMMIT SUNSHINE.

ONLY SHE CAN MAKE ME CHUCKLE IN A MOMENT LIKE THIS.

And I feel her stiffen a little in my arms now and I pull back immediately concerned as I ask, spotting pain flash through her eyes and I ask cupping her face – “ you are in pain now aren’t you?? Khushi…please tell me honestly…just lie down please…”,and I help her back on the bed and I am about to put the bed down and she instantly says softly – “ hoodie guy…no let me be propelled up…please…ill just lie back into the pillows…”,and I can see that she’s fighting tears.

I kiss her hand as I sit next to her and I brush her forhead lovingly and I ask – “ Sunshine…please…don’t hide your pain from me…tell me…please…should I call the nurse…are you ok??you don’t look ok…your face is as pale as a sheet”

And right then tears instantly leave her eyes and she opens her arms to me as she gestures me to hug her and I bend forward and I hug her and she says brokenly, tightening her arms around my neck – “ hoodie guy…my head hurts and I have all this body pain…my ankles injured in a sprain I know..i have a muscular spasm in my lower back too, and in the muscles around my elbows..my whole body is aching..i know it will get better by tomorrow morning..the nurse said its tonight that’s going to be little difficult because of the after impact of so many minor injuries all at once…and iv been feeling all this pain all over, in my head in my body…eveytime the impact of the painkillers been dying off…that’s why iv been feeling so weak and have just been sleeping it out…but…right now it really hurts..my head and my body too..can you please call the nurse love…I think I want another pain killer…”

My heart is aching for her as I hear say that and I immediately pull back and kiss her forhead and I say , cupping her face – “ you will be ok..Sunshine..ill just call her…we will make her give you another painkiller shot..and then you can sleep again…”

And she nods and kisses my hand.

I press the call bell but also immediately start to rush out to call the Nurse right when I spot her walk in through the curtain and she smiles at us as she walks up and says – “ I was just coming to wake you up to check if you are able to come out of sleep easily…you know we have to keep checking on that because of the concussion…how do you feel??”

I say to her immediately – “ nurse..she is in pain..her head hurts, so does her body..her ankle, and her back too…please give her another painkiller shot…”

The sister sighs as she asks, looking at kHushi – “ the pain affect from the previous painkiller shot is loosing impact already?”

Khushi nods and says softly – “ yes sister I think so… can you please give me another injection in the IV canula…or even a oral medication..please any will do.…ill go back to sleep after…”

The sister sighs – “ I wish I could…but I can’t…you are on the maximum dosage of the painkiller that has been prescribed…I most definetly cannot give you another shot until 7 am in the morning …or even anything orally for that matter…your pulse will drop..just gotta bear it khushi..please try to get some sleep…do you want some water?? Or something to eat if you feel like eating…ill order something for you???”

Khushi shakes her head in a negative, taking a deep breathe and shes fighting back her pained tears I know.

I WANT TO CRY.

I AM FIGHTING MY VERY OWN TEARS NOW.

My heart is alive but its aching so bad as I see Khuhsis eyes well up and she states, trying to put up that brave face again in front of the nurse– “ ok…ok..no worries sister..ill just try to get some sleep…ill just have some water…I am feeling exhausted now anyway…and all these drips are like working as food too..so I am not hungry…”

The sister smiles back at her encouraging her– “ you will feel better in the morning surely…ill just check on your vitals once ok??”

And Khushi nods and we see the sister leave.

And I look at Khushi and she gives me a small smile as she says – “ hoodie guy…my vitals will be fine..just some pain ya..ill be fine in the morning…don’t worry…its not that bad…”

WHAT A LIAR!

I KNOW SHES IN A LOT OF PAIN.

I say immediately wiping a tear outta the corner of my eye – “ you are a pathetic liar Sunshine…you know I can see right through you…I know you are in pain…”

And fresh tears ooze out her eyes now and I wipe them away tenderly and I kiss on her head and the Sister comes and checks her vitals and bp and once she finishes checking in on her , she smiles at us and asks her to call her incase we need anything else apart from the painkiller shot – and says she will come to check in sometime anyway.

Once she leaves – I help Khushi drink up a glass of water and once I am done – I help her lie back and I kiss her forhead softly and she looks into my eyes and she asks – “ hoodie guy…will you please lie down next to me and hug me as I try to get some sleep please…you wont hurt me…please…”

I look at her worried and concerened as I say – “ Sunshine…I…don’t know..i don’t want t hurt you…”

Khushi looks into my eyes as she says softly – “ you know the only place it isn’t aching right now Hoodie guy…its in my heart…because you are here with me…and so I know even though I cannot get a painkiller I can take power from our Love as usual like I always do…you are my recharger remember.. I know I can feel better by feeling your arms around me…it will help me get some sleep…please hold me hoodie guy…please.. ..”

HOW COULD I SAY NO TO THAT?

I COULDN’T.

I nod at her overhwlemed with so much emotion now and I get in beside her gently and I engulf her into my arms gently and I kiss her forhead and she kisses on my heart and I feel my very own tears leave my eyes now and I just clutch on her tighter and I can’t help but cry now feeling so helpless seeing her in so much pain and I hear her whisper softly against my heart – “ hoodie guy…you are crying aren’t you??”

I admit honestly – “ you know I am…just like I know you are crying too…”

She whispers softly as she completely leans closer into my arms – “ its ok Hoodie guy…its ok…its ok for us to totally cry in each others arms…we have to be fair to our overwhelmed emotions…they need their moments…”

And I choke on my emotions now as she whispers now looking up sideways to look at me and she wipes one of my tears with her bandaged hand and I wipe her tears away too with both my thumbs as I cupp her face and she says softly – “I know you are in pain too..so much pain…not physically maybe…but emotionally yes…on both grounds professional and personal…and I am sorry for the latter…I really am…and I have a solution for this moment…”

I ask, with my voice hoarse with emotion – “ what solution?”

Khushi whispers – “ I know..for you within it feels like a darkroom…and to be honest…right now because of all this physical pain…my insides are being clouded too..a little…but you know what hoodie guy…we can cry it out in each other arms and hold each other tight…and I know it will help us as we do that before we sleep tonight in each others arms…and then tomorrow morning when the Sun rises…we will feel like brand new phoneixes that have just risen up and we will be able to find that light and turn it on together…”

I look into her eyes and I ask honestly – “ Khushi…where is the light switch? Can you see it? I don’t know if I can right now..”

Khushi nods through her pain – “ I know..i know it feels like that switch is lost in the darkness, but its there Hoodie Guy…the light switch is always there…we must remember to just turn it On…and we will turn it On Hoodie guy…when the morning comes…but before that…we need to respect what we are feeling within and just cry it out in each others arms…we will surely feel anew when the morning comes..venting out in the arms of the one you love is a very strong cathartic…you know I have ample experience in that…so today…I want you to just let your emotions flow and cry it out in my arms…you know you can…just like I know I can…”,and she now hugs me hard and buries herself in my arm immediately, her bandaged hand coming to rest over my heart and she kisses on it as she whispers crying, her shoulders were shaking – “ it will be ok…it will be ok…we will turn on the Light…let the morning come…and see for itself…that no storm can deter us…we will sail through it no matter what..hand in hand…”

I now just hug her hard and I finally let my emotions completely loose too.

HOW COULD I NOT – WHEN I HAD HEARD WHAT I JUST HAD – IN A MOMENT OF TIME AS VULNERABLE AS THIS.

AND I CRY.

I FINALLY CRY – LIKE I HAVENT CRIED IN A LONG TIME.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT – IT WASN’T FEELING SO DARK ANYMORE.

BECAUSE – MY SUNSHINE WAS IN MY ARMS.

SHE WAS WITH ME – IN THIS MOMENT OF TIME – CRYING GENTLY IN MY ARMS TOO.

AND SO JUST LIKE WE LAUGH AND SMILE AND EXPERIENCE PASSIONATE LOVE AND PEACE IN EACH OTHER ARMS.

WE JUST CRY IT OUT IN EACH OTHERS ARMS IN A OVERWHELMING SILENCE THAT WAS NOT SILENCE FOR OUR VIBES AND EMOTIONS WERE TALKING– AND MINUTES LATER AS I FINALLY FEEL MY SUNSHINES STEADY BREATHING IN MY ARMS – I REALISE SHES DOZED OFF TO SLEEP.

I KISS HER HEAD AND I STILL CONTINUE TO CRY IT OUT A LITTLE – HOLDING ONTO HER TIGHT.

AND PEACE FINALLY STARTS TO FLOW THROUGH MY BEING.

I KISS MY SUNSHINES HEAD TWENTY TIMES OVER.

AND I FEEL THE PEACE NOW CALMING MY NERVES TOO AND EXHAUSTION FROM THE LONG TAXING DAY THAT IT HAD BEEN – FINALLY STARTS TO TAKE OVER AS I FEEL MY EYES GET LOADED WITH SLEEP TOO.

Khushi said that We would Find that Light Switch and Turn it On – no matter what!

Oh yes, Sunshine – I know you will make sure that we find that Switch.

But I don’t really Care about any Switch right now...

Guys You know Why?

BECAUSE I DIDN’T NEED ANY DAMM SWITCH TO GET THE LIGHT ON – IN THE FIRST PLACE.

ALL I NEED WAS HER.

MY PRECIOUS SUNSHINE.

AND HENCE WITH DEEP CONVICTION I MUST SAY THIS AGAIN.

KHUSHI WAS THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE.

MY SUNSHINE.

AND I THANK GOD FOR THIS MOMENT IN TIME.

THE MOMENT IN TIME – WHEN MY LIGHT WAS FINALLY BACK IN MY ARMS.

……………………………..

Tadaaaaa guyssss!!

Let me know what you all think of that!!

Awaiting your Comments.

Stay in and Stay Safe guys!

Much Love

Always.

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