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Chapter 39

-Archi-

@-Archi-

Hiya!

Look at me, posting the next chapter ON TIME . This has to be my biggest accomplishment all week! Anyway, thank you for all the wonderful and thought provoking comments to the last chapter. It led to interesting discussions - u can check out the comments on last two pages (Pg. 53 & 54) if you would like

Silent Whispers

-CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN-

Attributes of the Strong

"So in the end, Jai called the receptionist back and decided that it wasn't worth his time or mine to argue, a realization which took way too long to happen if you ask me."

Khushi laughed. "Well, now you know what I was worth."

Arnav narrowed his eyes. "I always knew what you were worth. My aim was to make you realize what you were worth."

"Yeah right. I knew my capabilities since day one."

"On the contrary birthday girl, I think I had a significant influence on the outcome of your internship at AR Designs. You can ask your new employers if you have any doubt."

"Why? So that they can give me some sort of rigged version of what you think?"

"Of course not! If you must know, I gave them a glowing recommendation when they called me for a reference."

"I heard you did."

Arnav stared at her impassive face. "And you think I lied?"

She set down the cup of coffee she was sipping. "I don't think anything."

"Okay, fine. In that case, my offer still stands - come work for me."

Khushi let out a sigh. They were back to where they started.

It was a sunny Tuesday afternoon in Delhi, almost three months since Garima's demise and Khushi was found sitting in a luxurious restaurant, having lunch with Arnav. The topic of their conversation was hard to ignore - he was trying to persuade her to join his company. Again.

Truthfully, Khushi had lost track of the number of times Arnav came to visit her after their reconciliation in the park that day amidst a turbulent thunderstorm, if that was what it was even called to begin with. It had taken her weeks to be able to vacate her seat beside the window and simply step out of the house without feeling she was betraying her mother's mere memory, let alone figuring out what place Arnav occupied in her life.

However, that didn't mean they were hostile. To Khushi's surprise, her bond with Arnav had changed remarkably over the past three months. There was no trace of animosity, uncertainty or guilt in between them. There was only peace, a comfort of sorts that she openly welcomed into her life. In a way, he reminded her of the teddy bear gifted to her five-year-old self, which she knew couldn't fix anything, but hugged anyway to keep the nightmares at bay.

It was an unexpected change in her life.

Of course, it came with strings attached (what didn't?). Perhaps the most annoying of which was Arnav's persistent job offers as an Assistant Project Manager in AR Designs. It was his way of giving her the chance to rebuild her life, but it was a chance she didn't want.

After spending a solid month in solitude, Khushi had finally realized what she needed. So, without much debate, she applied to several companies throughout the city and accepted the first offer she got. Her brother had almost called her decision rash, but she knew it was right thing to do, because what she needed was a fresh start, not the complicated mess Arnav was offering her.

She was yet to regret her choice.

Her new company, a small upcoming textiles business called RKG Fabrics was practically radiant to accept her and more so to see her work. It was a welcome change from the gloom surrounding her for the past few days.

"I'm serious," Arnav said, leaning forward. "Why are you being so stubborn about this? You are being given a manager position in one of the city's top companies - it's a chance many would kill to have."

"Exactly. It's a position that I don't deserve."

"Of course you deserve it! I wouldn't be here, if I didn't think you didn't."

"Maybe. But what most people -including me- will see is that I'm being given this position because you have feelings for me. And that is hardly what I need right now."

Arnav's face softened. "Khushi, I know what you are capable of. You are doing nothing but wasting your time at that company and you know it as well as I do. There is no future there."

She pressed her lips.

He let out an exasperated sigh, understanding full well that she hadn't budged even an inch from her decision. "You are as stubborn as Akash, if not more. And that is not a compliment."

Khushi repressed a smile. "So, you and Akash are good then?"

"What do you think?"

"Well, you two were pretty civil at the graduation ceremony last month -thank you for the dress by the way- so I'm assuming you both worked it out."

"My pleasure birthday girl. And civil is just the word to describe where we stand right now."

She snorted. "He hasn't forgiven any of us then..."

"That depends on what you consider forgiveness is."

Khushi stared hard at Arnav, trying to understand the uncertainty in his usually confident eyes; there was something he wasn't telling her. "He moved out, didn't he?" she finally murmured.

If he was startled to hear her accurately guess what was wrong, then he didn't let it show. "Yes," he answered, curtly. "He moved out last week."

"And how do I not know this?"

"You were busy... and it's not something I wanted to advertise. It was his decision to move out, and I have no choice but to accept that."

"What do you mean you have no choice? I thought he came back to fix things?"

Arnav ran his hands through his hair - it was a sign of how much stress this issue was causing him. "Partly yes... he came back because he is our family and he owes it to us. But he is different now. He doesn't see things the way he used to. He moved on."

Khushi was quiet.

"He believes living on his own is the right thing to do."

"But?"

He was confused. "But what?"

"There is always a "but" with you two. What is it this time?"

Arnav paused, seemingly trying to find the right words. "It's difficult... trying to let go of someone you spent your entire like protecting. I know he means the best, I know he didn't make the decision out of spite or resentment, but it goes against everything I hold dear to watch him out on his own, without my help."

It took her a moment to understand that. If there was anything Khushi learned from being in his companionship of the past few days, it was how much Arnav needed his siblings. He needed them to be alright, to be happy, for that and nothing else assured him of his place in their lives, and more importantly, of a job well done.

It was both admirable and unsettling.

"Arnav," she said seriously. "What he wants is not your success. He wants your support. And there are a million ways you can show him that without having to pay his bills for him."

He gazed at her, the truth of her words slowly sinking in. "You know him so well..."

"Not as much as you know him."

"I wish I knew him as well as I think I do. But what surprises me, is that even with all that understanding, you two are still not talking."

Khushi averted her eyes. "We will... at some point."

"You aren't even angry."

"No, I am not," she agreed, honest. "Because he is my best friend. And whatever is going on between us has nothing to do with you. No offense."

Arnav shook his head. "None taken. I expected you to say that... I might have actually been disappointed if you didn't defend him like you always do."

"Old habits die hard."

He laughed. "True. But new ones are not hard to make apparently."

She scrunched her eyebrows. "Who are you talking about?"

"My brother... you would be interested to know that he is exceptionally close with someone nowadays."

Khushi cocked her head to the side. "Why do I feel like you have been dying to tell me that?"

"Maybe because I have been."

"So, you are telling me that you brought me to lunch just so you can ask me about what your brother does behind your back?"

He rolled his eyes. "Stop being dramatic."

"No, I feel insulted."

His evergreen cheeky smile vanished as he said seriously, "I was joking Khushi - You know why I brought you here."

She didn't answer.

"Fine, make me tell you why," he continued, his tone dipping into sarcasm. "The weather is pleasant, this restaurant is celebrated, the food is delicious, and you... are beautiful - should I continue? Or do you get the picture?"

A coy smile lit up her face. His annoyance was so endearing. "You made your point."

"I'm glad. And I'm sorry if I made-"

She brushed off his apology. "I was joking too Arnav. So, tell me, who is that "someone" your brother is exceptionally close to?"

"Payal Sharma."

Khushi waited, a hundred percent sure that she misheard the name. There was no way Arnav was talking about the same girl she rivaled with for most of her college days, the same girl she uncontrollably spilled her feelings to. It just wasn't possible.

"What?" Arnav said, confused to hear her pause. "Why are you acting like I have spoken a dead person's name?"

"Payal Sharma?" Khushi asked, snapping out of her reverie, aghast. "Akash is BFF with Payal Sharma?"

"Sounds like you know her."

"Way too well."

It was Arnav's turn to tilt his head and stare curiously at her. "You are hiding something."

"No, I'm not!" Her reply was too instant.

"That just proved you are. What is it?"

"Nothing important."

Arnav raised an eyebrow, incredulous. "Really? Then why are you keeping it a secret?"

"I'm not. I-"

"Seriously? After all that I have confided in you, you don't trust me enough to tell me the truth?"

Khushi vaguely remembered saying something along those lines to him once. "Don't quote me!"

"You quote me all the time."

"Yes, because I am Khushi and you are Arnav. Not the other way around!"

He crossed his arms. "Fine. I will see if I can't find out by other means then."

She knew only too well what that meant. Letting out a frustrated growl, she muttered, "Fine! I will tell you - She loves him."

His eyes widened, astonished. "She loves him? Does he know that? And more importantly, how on earth do you know that?"

Khushi smirked. "Don't underestimate me. We have been down that road before, remember?"

He ignored her taunt, and instead stared at the empty air. "This won't end well..."

"No, it might," she said, thoughtful. "As long as you don't interfere."

Arnav was suddenly indignant. "Excuse me? Care to explain?"

"You sent me a dress as an apology. Should I say anything else?"

For a second, Khushi got the vague feeling that she won, even though they weren't in an argument or for that matter, a competition. But in that one second, all she knew was that dumfounding the illustrious A.S.R. was nothing short of a victory.

He cleared his throat, somewhat recovering from her retort. "I sent you a dress," he clarified. "So that you can distract yourself, even it was for a few short minutes, from the hailstorm of grief you were caught in."

Khushi looked down at the table, not wanting to be reminded of those black days.

"I'm not going to apologize for that," he said firmly. "If there is anything I'm sorry for in this situation, it is that I didn't give you the dress personally."

She was touched. "Then why didn't you?"

"Because I didn't want to press your brother any more than my actions already did."

"So you heard about my brother?"

"Why would you think I didn't?"

"I guess Anjali really can't keep things to herself," she said, more to herself than him. "But yes, Bhaiyya was pretty mad at you. He couldn't believe you had the audacity to send me a dress, when you should have said sorry."

"Would saying sorry change anything?"

"You did say sorry. Multiple times."

Arnav stared at her, surprised. "Is that why you defended me in front of him?"

"Did Anjali tell you that?"

"No, she didn't have to. The fact that your brother didn't say a word to me so far proves that you said something you shouldn't have."

"I told him the truth."

"Which is...?"

"Which is that you did whatever you did for your brother. And you expected me to understand. That's all."

He bore into her eyes, sifting for the truth. "And do you? Understand?"

Khushi gazed back, deep in thought. She had a long time to think about his actions and what they meant. And as much as she wanted to evade his question, she knew she couldn't put it off any longer. Even though they both never explicitly admitted it, the truth was, they were in a relationship; perhaps the strongest one she had in her whole life.

She had never expected them to survive the set back she faced upon her mother's passing, but they did. He stood by her for the three months, doing what, she was sure, even he didn't realize.

"I understand what you did," she answered slowly. "But I'm not sure I understand why."

"You know why."

"Do I?" she challenged, leaning forward, not breaking from his unflinching gaze. "You ditched me Arnav. Maybe I understand why, but the point is I'm not the type of person who takes abandonment well. You know that more than anyone else."

He blinked, turning away to look at the wall behind her. "I can't deny what I felt Khushi... what was growing between us was much more than it should have been. And all I tried to do was to stop it, before it got serious. If I truly believed you returned even a miniscule of my feelings, I wouldn't have been able to let you go."

"Liar."

His eyes flickered to hers.

"You knew what I felt," she continued, boldly. She had reached a state of brutal honesty with him and it was something she was going to keep for however long she could. "Especially what I felt for Akash. And still you let me go."

"Not my finest hour," he replied, with a sigh. "I agree."

She didn't answer, knowing that there was more; he wasn't finished yet.

"But I love you. I know it doesn't fix anything, but it's the best I've got."

Khushi didn't know what to say. It was the second time he had said those three complex words and even though her mind was clear of grief, something was holding her back.

"So, if tomorrow Akash has a problem with us again," she said, clearing her throat. "You would let me go?"

"I trust my brother," he replied calmly. "He will never have a problem with something that makes me happy."

"Well he did until now."

"That was a misunderstanding."

"Fine," she grumbled, annoyed at his well-rehearsed answers. "But let's just say he has a problem. Then what?"

"Then we will talk about it."

"And if it doesn't work out?"

Arnav shrugged. "Then it doesn't work out. Believe it or not, I do learn from my mistakes. And what I learned from the biggest mistake I made in a very long time, is that I can't control my brother's decisions. I accepted his refusal to join the company, I accepted his decision to move out... So needless to say, I will accept his hatred for our relationship."

And without knowing why or how, Khushi was satisfied with his answer. She had spent so much of her life holding on to things that didn't matter, that she couldn't afford to let go of things that did. It was what her mother had been trying to tell her all along and it was something she didn't understand until weeks after her death, when she had the courage to go back and remember her parting words:

Promise me Meeti... you have to stop running...

She hadn't understood it then, too caught up with the horror of what had unfolded after, but she understood it now.

She had to stop avoiding the truth; she had to stop running. She loved him and that was the only thing that mattered. What he did and didn't do wasn't even relevant to her decision. So, all she said in answer was:

"We are not in a relationship."

A dazzling smile lit up his face, as he understood what she had said. "Yet."

She bit her lip.

"But we will be -officially that is- in about two seconds because I convinced you."

"No," she interjected. "Because you love me."

"And?"

She was quiet, knowing the expectant look on his face. But she couldn't and didn't want to say it; she had enough bad luck as it is.

"And I'm getting late," she replied, turning away from his disappointed expression and collecting her handbag. "I have to get back to work."

He rolled his eyes. "Oh please! I'm sure you do more work in an hour than they do in the whole day. You don't have to get back to anything."

"Have some respect!" she chided, standing up. "At least they didn't grill me on the spot in front of the entire board of members on my very first day!"

He rose too, slipping on his metallic grey blazer. "Save the accusations birthday girl - you enjoyed being in the limelight that day."

Khushi smirked, knowing she couldn't argue with that. So instead, she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek without even the slightest of hesitation. "Lunch is on you by the way."

He grinned, not at all startled with her gesture. "Will it ever not be on me?"

"Maybe... but not in the near future. I will see you soon."

Then waving her hand, she set off from the restaurant, determined to finish the sales report she delayed doing all morning, courtesy of her vividly imaginative brain upon finding out she was going on a date with the legendary Arnav Singh Raizada.

________________________________________________________________________________

Yes, she forgives him. Because after spending almost her entire life in pain and misery, she finally understands that loving someone is a hundred, no a thousand times better than hating them. I personally think she finally turned into the woman she always wanted to be

Thoughts?

Archi

P.S. - I will try my best to post the next chapter a week from today.

-Archi-2015-03-15 18:05:17