Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Epiphany

Swayam stirred a little. Sharon had gone out to freshen up leaving Swayam in rey's care. Blinking a lot to get rid of the blur that clouded his eyes, he scanned the faces around him. His head throbbed and hurt. He saw rey's smiling face and the gang's anxious worried ones. Ruhi was present too and she watched him, smiling through her tears, but where was Sharon? She promised she would be there. He looked around. Hoping to catch glimpse of her the second time he scanned. Vicky, nil, simmi, rinni, amar, ruhi, rey...where was she?! "Sh...sharon" he mumbled. "Kya?" rey asked, his forehead creasing a bit as he strained to hear Swayam. "Sharon" he said again a little louder and clearer. He noticed confusion on others faces and disapproval on ruhi's. or was it hatred? He wondered. Rey grinned wider, "Abhay dho din se yehi tho keh rahe ho" rey said slapping his shoulder friendly, while kria shot him a glare. "Haan dho din se ye hi thiwo...she went to freshen up" simmi said when he looked at her questioningly. Wishing him well and asking him to rest the gang left. Ruhi was forcefully taken outside and this wasn't unnoticed by Swayam. Rey adjusted his pillows, and sat by his bed side, updating him of all that had happened since his accident. He told Swayam about Sharon's state. How she'd refused to budge. "ruhi bohot hi weird hai..."Rey said thoughtful. "Wo aati thi and would say something to Sharon, and uske baad Sharon would cry, saying she's not worth it...and it was like she was speaking to you" rey said. "Ruhi?!" Swayam asked confused. "Sharon ko rula deti?" he asked. "I don't know if it was ruhi or you or what, wo bohot sensitive ban gayi...the slightest comment and tears would come" rey said, looking worried. "Simmi hai kya wahan?" Swayam asked rey. "Haan, ek minute bulata hoon" rey said and went to call simmi.

Meanwhile, seeing her chance ruhi entered the room, Swayam lay with his eyes closed. Thinking he was asleep, ruhi entered and sat by his side. Reaching an arm out, she caressed his head. Swayam jolted up straight, and looked at ruhi, who looked terrified. "Oh its you" Swayam said. Ruhi watched terrified of what would come next, but to her surprise, Swayam didn't say anything, he on the other hand relaxed. iska matlab...he's fine with me around' she noted. "Aap kaise ho?" she asked over concerned for his well being. Swayam smiled and said "haan me teek hoon...lagta hai Sharon teek nahi hai" Swayam said worriedly. "Aapke liye teek nahi hai" ruhi mumbled looking away. "Kuch kaha tumne?" Swayam asked politely. "mere liye kyat eek nahi hai?" he asked. Ruhi bit her toungue. "mera matlab...aapko aise betne nahi chahiye...aapko aaram ke zarurat hai" she stammered. "haan par agar tum yahan ho tho Swayam kaise aaram karega?" a voice said icily.

Sharon sat on a bench on the terrace of the hospital. Bloodshot eyes and red nose which sniffled, as the image replayed in her head. Ruhi stroking swayam's head. Softly maybe even softer than she did. Maybe Swayam was right, they weren't meant to be, they could never be a couple. Maybe it was just fantasy. Rey called out to her to which she replied without looking at him that she wanted to be left alone. Rey looked confused at the bouquet of flowers in his hand and a card peeping out addressed to Swayam. He'd come to tell her Swayam was awake, seeing Sharon come freshened up with a bouquet of flowers. A tiny peep into the room, she'd paled, shoving the flowers in his hand, she walked away. And now she wanted to be alone. "Great!" he thought exasperated. "both of them like each other and yet hurt themselves and hurt each other...does love always hurt?" he wondered thinking of his two friends and his own life. Kria came, broke his heart and left only to return again. Taani was a like a silver cloud that'd come into his life to strength him and weaken him with love. Strange he thought. Strength and weakness, hurt and concern, truth and lies all of them came because of love. With these thoughts he left the terrace, wondering what to do with the bouquet and gang.

Rey went down to check on Swayam. Seeing ruhi talking to Swayam about something he placed sharon's bouquet on the counter and closed the door, and went on to call simmi mainly for two reasons, coz Swayam wanted to see simmi and to drive away ruhi from Swayam. Ruhi noticed the bouquet and reading the card, she threw it into the bin not noticing the little card fly out of the trash. Leaving in a huff, closing the door behind simmi.

"haan par agar tum yahan ho tho Swayam kaise aaram karega?"simmi asked icily glaring at ruhi. Swayam looked up, and so did ruhi. "Sorry I should have knocked" simmi smiled at Swayam apologetically. "Arrey aisa nahi...it's ok, I'm sure ruhi didn't mind" Swayam said looking uncertainly at ruhi. "bilkul nahi, me kyun mind karungi...muje aadat pad gayi" she said looking down sadly. "aadat...matlab?" Swayam asked her. "Jab me choti thi, tab bhi kisiko meri parvah nahi tha...aur abh bhi nahi..." she said looking down at her fingers. "Arrey...aisa mat kaho...we care for you...dont we?" Swayam said sympathetically. "par abh muje Swayam se baat karni hai..." simmi said. "Haan...muje tumse kuch poochna hai...ruhi..."he looked at her apologetic and a little uncomfortable. "its ok Swayam...me jaa rahi hoon...waise aapko aaram karni chahiye...aise baat nahi karni chahiye"ruhi said standing up to leave. "Sharon ke bare me hai kya?" simmi asked. Swayam's eyes darted from simmi's face to ruhi's unsure of what to reply. Ruhi's face turned irritated again hearing sharon's name. "Get well soon Swayam"she said quietly and left.

Simmi came and sat at a friendly distance unlike ruhi. "Rey ne bataya ki you wanted to talk to me?"she said confused. "haan...coz sirf tuje Sharon ka...you know...Sharon ka...aasthma ke bare me pata hai" he said, with difficulty. It still hurt him that Sharon had astma. He still couldn't digest the fact that she had asthma. Not that it showed up, neither did she show that she had it. But he knew, and he always carried her medicines, who knew when she might need it? Simmi smiled knowingly. Sharon was so lucky to have him in her life. Though they weren't together, they were always there for each other. Of course she was happy too, she had nilesh...the one guy on whom she'd a crush and now was her true love. "Sharon teek hai..." She said smiling at him. "Oh...good"he said content with the reply. Simmi continued, "But she wasn't good the past two days..." she said worriedly. "Matlab?" Swayam asked concerned. "Matlab, she was scared...i don't know of what...and she was sad, she was crying every now and then, but mostly after ruhi's visits" simmi said looking at Swayam. "Aap dono ke break up ke baad bhi aisi thi...guilty, depressed" simmi said. "Tumhe pata hai?" Swayam asked shocked. "Haan Sharon ne bataya...after ur break up..." simmi said warily. "Aur kya bataya Sharon ne?"Swayam asked. "She said she loves you..." simmi said looking away. Swayam looked at her, "Kab?" he asked. "Everyday..." Simmi replied wary of his reaction. Swayam was speechless as he thought of them, their past and their present. He tried imagining a world without Sharon and he shuddered. Wanting to be left alone he told simmi he wanted to rest for sometime. Simmi taking it as her cue to leave, left him alone with his thoughts.
Sharon steeled herself and came down yet again. Reaching for swayam's door, and looking at him patiently breathing calmly, eyes closed. But he wasn't asleep, he was thinking, she knew that. She approached him, "Finally tum aayi" Swayam murmered. Sharon stopped in her tracks, was she making noise? She looked down at her shoes. "Ruk kyun gayi ho Sharon?" he asked. She looked at him in shock, his eyes were open, watching her approach with an amused expression. His hand, unhooked to the tubes, forming half a heart which slowly extended towards her. Her eyes shifted gaze from his mesmerising eyes to the half heart he'd formed. Though she knew what he meant, she stopped herself with difficulty from completing it. "Swayam, me tujse kuch baat karna chahti hoon" she said, looking steadily into his eyes. "hmmm...can it wait?" he asked thoughtful and warily. She shook her head. He sighed, "I thought so...tum super ziddi ho Sharon" he said half smiling. "I know..." She said her lips curving into a smile at the memory of taani's surprise party day. "tho...baat kya hai?" he asked, wary again. "Swayam...tum sahi the...tum aur me kabhi hum nahi ban sakte...maybe we weren't meant to be...i don't deserve you"she said, her voice empty devoid of any emotion. He looked at her, "maybe ruhi is the right person for you...she likes you and you do so too I guess...n you will and you can replace me with her..." Sharon continued. "why?" he asked after a pause. "coz you deserve better...you deserve someone who loves you...truly and wholly...someone youu can trust...someone whom you'll love just as you loved me" Sharon said, her voice steady, as her heart shattered into fragments with every word she spoke. "I'm sorry I interrupted...i hope you'll be happier" she said, getting up before the tears could escape her eyes. "Sharon...wait..." he said just as the door closed behind her. Unable to go after her and unable to heal her he kicked the bed in frustration, a yelp of pain and rey entered looking tensed and confused. Walking into the room to face a frustrated Swayam only made him more tensed.

The card stuck to his shoe as he walked. Bemding to pick it up, he wondered where was the bouquet. "Dude Sharon gave this" he said, giving him the card. Get well soon Swayam; I kept my promise and you kept yours, now its time for us to say good bye...ily hamesha se zyada-sharon' the card read. He looked at rey distraught and forlorn. He was hurt coz he'd hurt her again. All he did was hurt her. By loving her. Anguish agony rippled through him as he looked at rey for answers. "Why?"he asked again. Rey looked at his friend, sympathetically. But he didn't want sympathy, he wanted answers. Sharon knew it. And she'd gone. Leaving him alone. Rey looked around helpless. "muje akela cho do..." Swayam said. Rey protested, "please" Swayam said finality in his tone. Helpless, rey went out and went to check on Sharon, who'd disappeared again.

Swayam was discharged the next day, and went home. Ruhi, rey and kria were present, helping out whenever needed. Kria left for her house, declining rey's offer to drop her home. Rey and ruhi stayed behind. "Swayam...muje aapse kuch baat karni hai" ruhi said. Enough was enough...if she let Sharon any closer, Swayam will not be there for her she thought. Deciding to tell him everything at the first chance, she'd decided this was the right moment. Though rey was present. Sharon wasn't around. "kya?"Swayam said. "Umm...wo akele me baat kar sakte hum?"she asked. Rey shrugged and left. "Hmmm bolo" Swayam said. "Me...aapse..." she started looking at him, nervously. "mujse?" Swayam asked. "wo...me aapse ye bohot pehele hi batanewali thi...phir aapka accident hua...aur...Sharon..." Ruhi stammered. "Sharon...sharon ko kya?"swayamn asked, immediately getting worried. "Sharon hume dhamki de rehi thi..."ruhi said pretending to be frightened. "Sharon aur dhamki?!" Swayam asked shocked. As far as he knew Sharon, she could never threaten or taunt anyone, unless absolutely necessary. "Keh rahi thi ki...agar me aapse sach bolun tho...tho...tho muje college se nikal wayenge" she said, her eyes downcast faking fright and sorrow. "Sach? Kaisa sach?" Swayam asked. "Ye...ki me aapse pyaar karti hoon" ruhi said hesitant but quick. "What?!" Swayam yelled shocked. "Haan Swayam, me aapse..." Ruhi started again a little more confident. Swaym held out a hand looking down thinking of what had happened. "Bas ruhi...pyaar mat kaho..." He said, his mind racing. "Par Swayam kyun? Aap Sharon se pyaar karte ho...par ye sacha pyaar nahi hai...pyaar aapko khush rakhni chahiye dukh aur dard nahi deni chahiye..." she said viciously. "I said enough!" Swayam raised his voice as the contemptuous look on ruhi's face faltered back to fright. "Tumhe kaise pata ki sacha pyaar kya hota hai? Huh? Pyaar me log selfish ni selfless hote hai...ye muje Sharon ne sikhaya" he said, furious, remembering how she'd justified her acts indirectly. "mene aaj tak tumhe sirk taani jaise dekha. Me sirf Sharon se pyaar karta hoon aur karta rahunga, marte dum tak!" he said, watching as ruhi sat frozen in fright at the anger in his eyes. "Par wo aapse pyaar nahi karti!" ruhi yelled. "agar pyaar karti tho, wo yahan hoti, me ni" ruhi said, her eyes full of angry tears. "Pyaar karti, sachi pyaar karti...isliye she left, she went for my happiness, she went away so that I would be happy" Swayam said, his voice lowering as he realised the truth in his words. "Ni...aisa ni ho sakta...me aisa hone ni doongi...aap sirf mere ho..." ruhi said, her neck switching a little, her eyes serious with a certain amount of madness. Looking up at Swayam she advanced towards him, and hugged him by his neck, choking him slowly and Swayam couldnt do anything because he was weak, mentally drained out and unprepared for this attack. Rey slammed the door open, while Swayam struggled at her clasp. Rey held ruhi by her arms and wrenched it off from swayam's neck a little so that he could hold her firmly, he dragged her out. He entered a while later. Swayam looked at him in shock and wonder. "Ruhi is mentally ill"rey said simply. "What?!"Swayam spat, "mentally ill as in?"Swayam asked. "usse OCD hai..."Rey said looking at swayam his brows wriknkling a bit. "Par...tumhe kaise pata?" Swayam asked. "Sharon ne bataya...aaj hi batatya" rey added. "Iska matlab...sharon ko pehle hi pata tha...aur hume se kisiko ni bataya..."Swayam murmered. "haan...par isliye kyunki wo concerned thi...tumhare liye" rey said carefully as more confusion prevailed. "Muje kuch samaj me nai aa ra..."Swayam said utterly confused. Rey explained patiently and cautiously about how ruhi had OCD aka obsessive compulsive disorder. How she could easily get obsessed with a particular object or person and could do anything to get what she wanted. "isme me kahan aa raha hoon?" Swayam asked. "She was obsessed with you, aur iss obsession ko wo pyaar kehti...sharon samaj li ki kuch odd hai, waise bhi jealous thi pehle and then she found ruhi odd" rey explained. "and Ruhi ne Sharon ko threaten ki...that wo tumhe paane ke liye kuch bhi kar sakti aur agar Sharon ne tujhse kuch bhi bataya iski bare me tho wo tuje hurt karegi...and Sharon ko tu jaanta hai na? wo kabhi ni chahti ki tuje kuch ho...aur isliye usne tujse dur jaane ki koshish ki par tu..."Rey trailed away. "Par me?" Swayam asked rey to continue. "Par tu respond ni kar ra tha...agar Sharon yahan ni hi...aur tumhari iss halat me wo tuje chodkar jaa bhi ni sakti thi...and isliye ruhi ka obsession kuch zyada hua...aur...ye..." rey explained. Swayam listened, in a horrific silence. "Abh samaj me aa ra hai ki Sharon kya bata rahi thi...n mene...mene...what the heck have I done?!" Swayam said. Remembering the time Sharon told him about ruhi, at least tried to... "abh Sharon kahan hai?"he asked after sometime, calming down. "Ghar chali gayi...and ek boquet bheji thi...mila kya?"rey asked. "Bouquet?"Swayam asked "Nahi tho"he said looking confused. Rey frowned looking at the empty table counter. He walked towards pretty sure he'd seen something. "Stop!" Swayam cried. Rey froze and then turned to see Swayam, pointing at something near his feet. He bent down to pick it up. Swayam, get well soon ily, yours sharon' it read. Sharon aayi kya? He wondered. "Ye ruhi ko tho..."Rey said sounding extremely pissed off. "she threw away the boquet" he said when Swayam looked at him confused. Swayam looked extremely weak. "Tu rest kar...i'll make sure Sharon comes to see you tomorrow" rey said and bidding him goodnight he left. Swayam slumped onto his pillows and as one thought merged with another he fell asleep.

NEXT DAY
*sound of door opening* Swayam smiled in his sleep. Sharon crept in little by little careful not to wake him up. Leaving an unadressed bouquet near his bed, she slowly kept her hand on his head and slid her fingers through his hair, her eyes soft. "Sharon"he mumbled. And then she leant forward, her hair falling on either side of his face. And closing her eyes she bent in to reach her lips to his forehead. Inches away she stopped and looked at his shut eyes, peaceful, calm and sweet with a smile playing on his lips. Her eyes welled up, thinking he would never be hers no matter how much she wished. And she pulled back, a tear escaping her eye on to his cheek. He twisted a bit but didn't wake up. Pulling herself away she turned to leave only to be stopped by a tug. She turned to see his hand clasping her wrist, refusing to let go. She smiled. Mat jao" he mumbled, and then turned to his side. Sharon looked at him gently and then released her hand from his clasp, getting his hand on his side gently, she turned and closed the door behind her. Swayam opened his eyes and smiled, grimaced rather, rolling over onto his back he looked at the boquet next to him. Carefully taking it into his arms, he fondled it lovingly and hugged it close, taking in the smell of orchids and the lilies which smelled just like her.

She went into the kitchen and set to work, remembering the disaster she'd made in her own kitchen last night, and careful not to make the same mistakes she cut the vegetables carefully. Searching the spick and span kitchen was easy, his kitchen was neat and tidy. Setting up a vessel of water she boiled the vegetables with salt, wiping the tiny drops of sweat with a tiny cloth that she found in the kitchen. Slowly and tediously she worked, using her memory of the recipe she'd learnt off the internet. Kaka meanwhile came to the kitchen to get Swayam his tea. Heating up the milk and adding the tea powder and sugar reminded her of their date, their proximity. She smiled at the thought. The sight of the milk rising to the brim, she hurriedly came out of her reverie and filtered the tea and gave it to kaka. he'll be up soon'she thought and hurried with her work. Setting the table neatly and leaving a tiffin box with cheese sandwiches on the counter she left, after instructing kaka not to let Swayam know she'd come. But unknown to her she was being watched. Her every move was shadowed, by none other than her lover boy, Swayam.

He wasn't allowed to go to college that day, and Sharon visited him again in the evening only after making sure he was asleep did she come in. the gang threw a party for which she'd made all arrangements but she herself hadn't come. Swayam knew why and he was hurt not because she hadn't come, but because he knew the reason behind it, him.

The next day at college, he saw his friends. And then he went to the VP sir. The vp sir apologised saying he shouldn't have hid it from them, that ruhi had OCD and could get pretty violent if she wanted to. On enquiring about ruhi, the vp sir said she was in rehabilitation. Taking treatment.
Then he was dismissed and he went to the canteen hoping to see her, to thank her and if possible make up for his mistakes, to make up for his judgements.
She sat with the gang, laughing and smiling. Talking and being her usual self. The glint in her eye, her smile, her voice, her laugh; Swayam stood in the doorway, looking at her,his head leaning onto the wall with a content smile as he looked at her. "Arrey Swayam! Tu wahan kya kar rahe ho? Yahan aja na!" Nilesh called out in the middle, alerting Swayam who'd shamelessly stared at Sharon. She caught his eye and smiled warmly, her eyes tightening a little. The casualness she had was gone. Soon they went about their merry making and classes. Talking and laughing, always together,he didn't get a chance to talk to her alone. And soon it was time to leave. Swayam stayed back though, he'd to catch up on his lost work and so he excused himself while Rey offered to drop the gang home. Sharon had excused herself saying she'd go in her car and had gone in to call her driver. Swayam went about his work, finishing it off neatly and perfectly. He collected his things together and then packing his bag he left. The college was empty, and a little dark too, except for the corridors. Coming down the stairs, thinking to himself how to thank Sharon and how to apologize and make her feel special he came down, lost in thoughts. Well until a soft music trailed to his ears, disturbing his concentration. He followed the music and it led him to the rehearsal hall, whose lights were on but dim. Curious he went to see who was there.
Standing at the doorway he was astounded by what he saw, sharon stood there facing the mirror, her eyes blindfolded. The music played and she moved to it.

*Implosive silence (Highway) ARR* she moved gracefully to the tune, letting the music engulf her, letting the fire of passion burn bright. She swayed to the side and arched into a bow, extending her hand into nothingness, trying to grab something out of her reach. And then she fell tired, exhausted, and tears flew down her cheeks wetting the cloth that blinded her. She groped mid-air, trying to find something trying to pull someone, and then she rose and pulled of her blindfold. He stood there, smiling. That smile which made him look angelic and sweet. She reached out to touch him and he vanished. She twirled around and saw him again, arms crossed smirking. She reached out again and he vanished. EA cartwheel later he stood in front of her again, and she saw them, her pinned to the wall while he skimmed her jawline and the crook of her neck making her desensitized, that amused smile of his and it was gone, again. Clutching her hair she jumped, doing a split as she jumped. Landing gracefully she twirled and saw him below the chandelier which had hurt him because of her. And it took place again, her underneath with the chandelier shaking, him noticing it, him running, his voice yelling Sharon, her shock as he pushed her away and the chandelier falling on him, him falling to the ground, him unresponsive, his eyes on her. Too much to take in she slid to her knees, tears flowing down her eyes as she curled herself into a ball, her shoulders shaking.
He stood there transfixed. Watching her dance, graceful, passionate and those feelings he felt too. Guilt, Hurt and pain. He'd promised to never hurt her and here was hurting her. If anything he didn't want to be the source of her pain. He wanted her to be happy. He wanted her to be her. He slowly walked in, kicking off his shoes and leaving his bag. It was gonna be a long night. And a crucial night too. "Go for it" his heart urged. He complied. Happily. Coz he'd been wanting to, he'd waited for his dil to speak.

The tune that surrounded the room changed. It changed to their song, their pehla nasha. She looked up, surprised and he stood in front of her. His palm outstretched with "May I?" written on it. She looked him, questioning and wondering if it was real. He looked at her and blinked reassuringly. Extending her hand slowly into his, she kept her palm on his. Clasping it tightly he tugged her and then pulled her up. Unsteady at first she fell, his arm around her waist supporting her, his face close to hers, his eyes boring into hers, showing her the endless depths of his love. He smiled and pulled her up. Holding her closer and standing in the waltz position, precisely on the same spot where they had their first waltz together, he turned, taking her with him. They swayed to the music, and the tune flowed through their veins fueling their passion setting fire in every move. And then gradually they drew closer, closer and closer. Sharon rested her head against his heart, listening to it beat as they moved slowly. He placed his chin on her hair. "I'm sorry" he said, into her hair, looking straight. "For what?" she asked into his chest. "Sab ke liye...sab...meri" he was unable to say more cuz her finger shushed him. "No sorry, no thank you" she said quietly, looking into his eyes steadily. He looked at her intently and then blinked his eyes in agreement. "Good" she said and resumed her place on his chest as they moved slowly from side to side. "I love you" he said, she said simultaneously together. They stopped pulled back and after a minute of silence burst out laughing. And then he stopped, and pulled her close. "Ek aur nayi shuruwat?" he asked. She stretched onto her toes and whispered "You made me fall in love Mr. Shekhawat" he grinned. Clasping her around her waist and pulling her close, she wrapped her arms around his neck and they twirled on the spot, when they stopped they were in their position, his lean frame towering over her and she secure in his arms, gazing into his eyes.

*beep beep* he heard. He opened his eyes, blinded by the white light he shut it again. Adjusting to the intense white light, he blinked a few times to remove the blur and then he smiled. It was the most epiphanical dream he had yet. A beautiful epiphany on love.