Chapter 27
Author's note - plz refer to my chapter 9-10 to get a clear image of what I am talking as many of you would have forgotten. The words, scene, everything collides with those chapters.
*only for my SIL .. VRUSHIKA
Chapter 25
Prem slowly took the corner and came to a halt before a few crooked and broken stairs, which led to a archway and a ruin.He looked around to find few tourists taking pictures of the fort from far away, looking at their body language he could tell that the bad light was affecting them and they would leave soon. He ran a hand through his hair, what the hell was heer thinking by trotting here all by herself, the woman didn't have even an ounce of self-preservation. He took the stairs two at a time and went ahead. He looked around himself the place looked ruined from outside, mostly shagging walls and pillars and long stone stairs scattered around but the place had an air of beauty around it. The old stairs leading down inside it took him straight to a group of banjarans sitting and another straight way took him to a place with rounded walls all around making it look like a valley. Then he saw her, She was sitting beside a ShivaLinga, eyes closed, head bent towards it as if she was murmuring something to it. The light was minimum inside and it was different and mesmerizing. Prem sensed a wave of deja-Vu as if he has seen the same thing, felt the exact. On impulse, without any second thought Prem took hold of the camera hanging from his neck and clicked a picture of her, but damn he didn't adjust his flash and the next thing he knew Heer was out of her stupor and was straightly looking at him.
Heer knew it was way past time. She would have gone back and joined the gang by now, but she just didn't want to get up and go face prem. She didn't want to leave the peace and go face embarrassment. Her head didn't seem to work right with Prem in close boundaries, Jumbled words like Love, regret, Lust always seemed to occupy her thoughts. She felt like shouting to everyone that she had had enough of this but a part of her didn't want to give up on Prem. One moment she want to blame him for making things so complicated and next she understood his reluctance to open up with her again. It felt like a chess game gone wary. The queen shouldn't want to leave king's side but she had to because there is no other option. She closed her eyes and leaned towards the ShivaLinga, the coldness sipping through the marble relaxed her a bit. Everything was dancing infront of her eyes, she was a girl who didn't want to fall in love with prem juneja but a trip here changed everything. She fell in love, UNCONDITIONALLY. Last time she came here she gave her heart to that man and this time it looked like he was after her soul too. She knew if she didn't do something soon, she would be left empty and nothing would fill the void. Some part of her wanted to just get him back by hook or crook but the other part debated on whether she would be happy if prem didn't love her back the way he used to? Amidst all the chaos and confusion she heard a click and then a flash went reflected on her face. What the hell!! She opened her eyes and saw straight at Prem leaning at the archway with a camera pointed at her.
"waqt wahi hai par thoda tham sa gaya hai , sama wahi hai par thoda gum sa gaya hai , raaste wahi hai par thode kho se gaye hai , main bhi wahi hun par thodi nahi poori prem diwani ho gayi hun aaj bhi who sama who pal yaad hai jab humne pehli baar ek doosre ko dekha khoya apne aap mein par aaj iss baat ki khushi thi ki tumhe paaya , paaya bhi to aise ki tumhi meri har raah har modh tumhi meri manzil dhadkan kehti hai aaj iss desh mein hai mera dil"
Heer saw him stiffen when she looked him straight in the eye. She knew she had caught him in a weak moment where he did something on impulse. The man was stubborn. Heer straightened herself and walked to him without missing a beat while he leaned there casually. Didn't he feel a thing? Didn't he understand that the history is repeating itself?
How could he stand there so casually after being caught taking pics of her lone time while she fumed with hope, love, a sense of dj vu. The damn man wouldn't even accept that he felt something for her. His mind could have forgotten but how could he just not feel? On one hand he would ask her to stay away from him while on the other he would invade her privacy, look at her when he thought no one was looking. Didn't he understand that it was breaking her heart, breaking her everyday?
She stood before him and waited for him to say something, anything. Two could play the silent game. He looked at her lazily and then back to the inside of the old mandir. He thought he was going to just shrug it off and behave as if nothing happened before, then he was wrong. She knew it was her last chance, either he is coming back to her or he will bolt. She has seen that desperation in him, so she was going to fight dirty, for the man she loves and will always love. She knew the trip was a risk because this Prem Juneja ran from confrontation. A part of her wanted to let everything be and time take care of it but she knew if prem didn't feel for her here then she was fighting for a lost cause.
When Heer didn't say a word nor asked about the picture he took, he knew something else was going in her mind. She just stood there before him, all calm and quiet. The sun was almost down and she didn't make any effort to go back or confront him. She just stood there. He cleared his throat, " beautiful place isn't it, but I think we should go back now. Everybody is waiting."
He saw her glancing back at the idol and then she spoke in a soft voice to him, "Last time when you came here, tumne apne liye kuch nahi maanga tha. Aaj phir se aaye ho, bina sir jhukaye chale jaoge?"
Prem nodded at her and then walked towards the idol, he was not a spiritual person but he even didn't have any grudge against god. He knew when to bow down infront of him. While he walked towards it her words hit him, "what do you mean by maine apne liye kuch nahi maanga tha?"
She gave him a sad smile and spoke, "aaj main pehli baar yahan aaya hun aur kuch maang raha hun , aaj heer jo bhi mange usse de dena bas itni si maang hai meri"
Prem stood rooted to his place, the way she was looking at him with hooded eyes he knew that whatever she said now was something he had said and she has just repeated those exact words. He numbly went to his knees infront of the idol, folded his hands and closed his eyes but the reality didn't go away even while he closed his eyes. All he saw was her in there. He wanted to let go off his fears for once and just be with her but he knew that she deserved much more than the shell of a man he had become who couldn't even remember how he fell in love. He wanted to ask the idol infront of which he was bowing that what if one day he woke up and realized that he didn't love heer the way she thought he did and he was doing everything for his family. Then how will he face her? There was no answer, all he could see in there was her with smiling eyes, mischievous eyes, sad eyes and he couldn't shake those images off. He opened his eyes and got up to find heer walking slowly down the path towards the stairs. He took a last look at the idol and took long steps and caught up with her. She was walking slowly and he fell in step beside her. While they came towards the last archway and the steps, which would take them, back to others. She abruptly stopped and looked at him, while he too took a halt to stop colliding with her.
Heer could feel the warmth coming from him while he stood so close to her, looking down at her. Her prem would have wrapped his hands around her but here he was standing so devastatingly close to her yet so far and aloof. She bent her head upwards to look him in the eye and spoke while holding his gaze, "Mujhe yahan hamesha se apne saare sawaalon ka jawaab mila hai prem, mujhe yahan tum mile the. Pata nahi tumne shivji se kya maanga, par main dua karti hun ki tumhe who mil jaye." She started to walk towards the exit when he caught off her wrist and gently turned her back towards him, "agar maine tumhe nahi manga heer, kisi aur ko maanga to fir bhi kya tum chahogi ki mujhe wo mil jaye."
Prem didn't know why all of a sudden he had an urge to just ask her that. He knew there was no truth in that, all he saw in there in his sub conscious was her. Her delicate wrist still was in his hand and a part of him didn't want to let it go. She stood their looking at his and hers hand for a minute and then looked back at him and murmured, " haan prem, agar uss fariyaad mein main nahi hun phir bhi main chahungi ki tumhe tumhari chaah aur sawaalon ke jawaab mil jaye."
Prem wanted to shout at her, shake her. He let go off her wrist and moved his hands to her upper arms, holding her there, "tum mujhse itna toot ke pyaar nahi kar sakti heer." She inched closer to him and spoke back, "karti hun prem, itna pyaar karti hun ki tum nahi to main toot jaungi." A tear slid down her face and without a moment's hesitation prem put his hand under her chin and kissed her on the forehead. He didn't know what to do with her, he wanted to tell her his fears, to tell her that it's not her in fault, it's him. He believed in her faith and love but he didn't trust himself enough. He had to let her go, he was breaking her heart in pieces everyday and he was afraid that he would continue doing that till she gave up or he got his answers and both possibilities were far stretched. Prem tightened his hold on her and rested his chin on her head and broke her heart for one last time. Yet he felt he was just not breaking her heart but his as well, " heer its just I cant go on blindly with our relationship and marry you when I don't feel anything for u , I just need someone whom I will love and I am still waiting for that moment to arrive in my life , I know its gonna be a different sensation and I don't feel that for you , there is no offense meant to you , you are a very nice girl but you are not the one I love."
Heer could still feel his hands holding her arms but she could no more feel the warmth. She felt cold all over. He was finally breaking up with her, breaking her heart in a very slow subtle way and there was nothing to do anymore. She looked up to see any flicker of emotion to which she could hold onto in his eyes. There was none. He was just looking ahead, not her. She wanted to yell at him, slap him but she knew he would take all of it welcomingly and wouldn't budge form what he said. It was a struggle to breathe, but damn him she wasn't going to break infront of him. She stared at him for another second and then slowly brushed her lips on his chin. She had his attention now, he was looking at her. She wiped the tears with the back of her hand but it was of no use, she was not going down with dignity because those tears won't stop. She stepped back from him and repeated the only thing that came to her mind. His words.
"main tumhe bahot chhati hu pyaar karti hun main tumse bahot
Mana main tumhe paa nahi sakti
Mana tumhe main jaane se rok nahi sakti
Tumhe paana mere liye khwab hai par shayad who kabhi poora nahi ho sakta
Haan tumhare bina main jee nahi sakti
Par agar tum khush rahe to chain se mar to sakungi
Prem maine har waqt har pal tumhara intezzar kia .. hamesha karungi
Har waqt har pal tumse pyaar kia hamesha karungi
Par tum agar jana chahte ho to main tumhe nahi rokungi.
Aaj main Heer Mann inn hawaon ko sakshi manke in fizaon ko sakshi manke apne bhagwan ko shakshi manke tumhe dua deti hun tum khush raho bahot khush raho"
Prem stood rooted to his place while she walked away from him. He could hear those exact words in his mind, but not in her voice. The voice he heard in his head was his. It was as if he was telling her those, not the other way. He thought he just broke her heart but why did he feel like he broke his own one too.
~Aishu
Chapter 25
Prem slowly took the corner and came to a halt before a few crooked and broken stairs, which led to a archway and a ruin.He looked around to find few tourists taking pictures of the fort from far away, looking at their body language he could tell that the bad light was affecting them and they would leave soon. He ran a hand through his hair, what the hell was heer thinking by trotting here all by herself, the woman didn't have even an ounce of self-preservation. He took the stairs two at a time and went ahead. He looked around himself the place looked ruined from outside, mostly shagging walls and pillars and long stone stairs scattered around but the place had an air of beauty around it. The old stairs leading down inside it took him straight to a group of banjarans sitting and another straight way took him to a place with rounded walls all around making it look like a valley. Then he saw her, She was sitting beside a ShivaLinga, eyes closed, head bent towards it as if she was murmuring something to it. The light was minimum inside and it was different and mesmerizing. Prem sensed a wave of deja-Vu as if he has seen the same thing, felt the exact. On impulse, without any second thought Prem took hold of the camera hanging from his neck and clicked a picture of her, but damn he didn't adjust his flash and the next thing he knew Heer was out of her stupor and was straightly looking at him.
Heer knew it was way past time. She would have gone back and joined the gang by now, but she just didn't want to get up and go face prem. She didn't want to leave the peace and go face embarrassment. Her head didn't seem to work right with Prem in close boundaries, Jumbled words like Love, regret, Lust always seemed to occupy her thoughts. She felt like shouting to everyone that she had had enough of this but a part of her didn't want to give up on Prem. One moment she want to blame him for making things so complicated and next she understood his reluctance to open up with her again. It felt like a chess game gone wary. The queen shouldn't want to leave king's side but she had to because there is no other option. She closed her eyes and leaned towards the ShivaLinga, the coldness sipping through the marble relaxed her a bit. Everything was dancing infront of her eyes, she was a girl who didn't want to fall in love with prem juneja but a trip here changed everything. She fell in love, UNCONDITIONALLY. Last time she came here she gave her heart to that man and this time it looked like he was after her soul too. She knew if she didn't do something soon, she would be left empty and nothing would fill the void. Some part of her wanted to just get him back by hook or crook but the other part debated on whether she would be happy if prem didn't love her back the way he used to? Amidst all the chaos and confusion she heard a click and then a flash went reflected on her face. What the hell!! She opened her eyes and saw straight at Prem leaning at the archway with a camera pointed at her.
"waqt wahi hai par thoda tham sa gaya hai , sama wahi hai par thoda gum sa gaya hai , raaste wahi hai par thode kho se gaye hai , main bhi wahi hun par thodi nahi poori prem diwani ho gayi hun aaj bhi who sama who pal yaad hai jab humne pehli baar ek doosre ko dekha khoya apne aap mein par aaj iss baat ki khushi thi ki tumhe paaya , paaya bhi to aise ki tumhi meri har raah har modh tumhi meri manzil dhadkan kehti hai aaj iss desh mein hai mera dil"
Heer saw him stiffen when she looked him straight in the eye. She knew she had caught him in a weak moment where he did something on impulse. The man was stubborn. Heer straightened herself and walked to him without missing a beat while he leaned there casually. Didn't he feel a thing? Didn't he understand that the history is repeating itself?
How could he stand there so casually after being caught taking pics of her lone time while she fumed with hope, love, a sense of dj vu. The damn man wouldn't even accept that he felt something for her. His mind could have forgotten but how could he just not feel? On one hand he would ask her to stay away from him while on the other he would invade her privacy, look at her when he thought no one was looking. Didn't he understand that it was breaking her heart, breaking her everyday?
She stood before him and waited for him to say something, anything. Two could play the silent game. He looked at her lazily and then back to the inside of the old mandir. He thought he was going to just shrug it off and behave as if nothing happened before, then he was wrong. She knew it was her last chance, either he is coming back to her or he will bolt. She has seen that desperation in him, so she was going to fight dirty, for the man she loves and will always love. She knew the trip was a risk because this Prem Juneja ran from confrontation. A part of her wanted to let everything be and time take care of it but she knew if prem didn't feel for her here then she was fighting for a lost cause.
When Heer didn't say a word nor asked about the picture he took, he knew something else was going in her mind. She just stood there before him, all calm and quiet. The sun was almost down and she didn't make any effort to go back or confront him. She just stood there. He cleared his throat, " beautiful place isn't it, but I think we should go back now. Everybody is waiting."
He saw her glancing back at the idol and then she spoke in a soft voice to him, "Last time when you came here, tumne apne liye kuch nahi maanga tha. Aaj phir se aaye ho, bina sir jhukaye chale jaoge?"
Prem nodded at her and then walked towards the idol, he was not a spiritual person but he even didn't have any grudge against god. He knew when to bow down infront of him. While he walked towards it her words hit him, "what do you mean by maine apne liye kuch nahi maanga tha?"
She gave him a sad smile and spoke, "aaj main pehli baar yahan aaya hun aur kuch maang raha hun , aaj heer jo bhi mange usse de dena bas itni si maang hai meri"
Prem stood rooted to his place, the way she was looking at him with hooded eyes he knew that whatever she said now was something he had said and she has just repeated those exact words. He numbly went to his knees infront of the idol, folded his hands and closed his eyes but the reality didn't go away even while he closed his eyes. All he saw was her in there. He wanted to let go off his fears for once and just be with her but he knew that she deserved much more than the shell of a man he had become who couldn't even remember how he fell in love. He wanted to ask the idol infront of which he was bowing that what if one day he woke up and realized that he didn't love heer the way she thought he did and he was doing everything for his family. Then how will he face her? There was no answer, all he could see in there was her with smiling eyes, mischievous eyes, sad eyes and he couldn't shake those images off. He opened his eyes and got up to find heer walking slowly down the path towards the stairs. He took a last look at the idol and took long steps and caught up with her. She was walking slowly and he fell in step beside her. While they came towards the last archway and the steps, which would take them, back to others. She abruptly stopped and looked at him, while he too took a halt to stop colliding with her.
Heer could feel the warmth coming from him while he stood so close to her, looking down at her. Her prem would have wrapped his hands around her but here he was standing so devastatingly close to her yet so far and aloof. She bent her head upwards to look him in the eye and spoke while holding his gaze, "Mujhe yahan hamesha se apne saare sawaalon ka jawaab mila hai prem, mujhe yahan tum mile the. Pata nahi tumne shivji se kya maanga, par main dua karti hun ki tumhe who mil jaye." She started to walk towards the exit when he caught off her wrist and gently turned her back towards him, "agar maine tumhe nahi manga heer, kisi aur ko maanga to fir bhi kya tum chahogi ki mujhe wo mil jaye."
Prem didn't know why all of a sudden he had an urge to just ask her that. He knew there was no truth in that, all he saw in there in his sub conscious was her. Her delicate wrist still was in his hand and a part of him didn't want to let it go. She stood their looking at his and hers hand for a minute and then looked back at him and murmured, " haan prem, agar uss fariyaad mein main nahi hun phir bhi main chahungi ki tumhe tumhari chaah aur sawaalon ke jawaab mil jaye."
Prem wanted to shout at her, shake her. He let go off her wrist and moved his hands to her upper arms, holding her there, "tum mujhse itna toot ke pyaar nahi kar sakti heer." She inched closer to him and spoke back, "karti hun prem, itna pyaar karti hun ki tum nahi to main toot jaungi." A tear slid down her face and without a moment's hesitation prem put his hand under her chin and kissed her on the forehead. He didn't know what to do with her, he wanted to tell her his fears, to tell her that it's not her in fault, it's him. He believed in her faith and love but he didn't trust himself enough. He had to let her go, he was breaking her heart in pieces everyday and he was afraid that he would continue doing that till she gave up or he got his answers and both possibilities were far stretched. Prem tightened his hold on her and rested his chin on her head and broke her heart for one last time. Yet he felt he was just not breaking her heart but his as well, " heer its just I cant go on blindly with our relationship and marry you when I don't feel anything for u , I just need someone whom I will love and I am still waiting for that moment to arrive in my life , I know its gonna be a different sensation and I don't feel that for you , there is no offense meant to you , you are a very nice girl but you are not the one I love."
Heer could still feel his hands holding her arms but she could no more feel the warmth. She felt cold all over. He was finally breaking up with her, breaking her heart in a very slow subtle way and there was nothing to do anymore. She looked up to see any flicker of emotion to which she could hold onto in his eyes. There was none. He was just looking ahead, not her. She wanted to yell at him, slap him but she knew he would take all of it welcomingly and wouldn't budge form what he said. It was a struggle to breathe, but damn him she wasn't going to break infront of him. She stared at him for another second and then slowly brushed her lips on his chin. She had his attention now, he was looking at her. She wiped the tears with the back of her hand but it was of no use, she was not going down with dignity because those tears won't stop. She stepped back from him and repeated the only thing that came to her mind. His words.
"main tumhe bahot chhati hu pyaar karti hun main tumse bahot
Mana main tumhe paa nahi sakti
Mana tumhe main jaane se rok nahi sakti
Tumhe paana mere liye khwab hai par shayad who kabhi poora nahi ho sakta
Haan tumhare bina main jee nahi sakti
Par agar tum khush rahe to chain se mar to sakungi
Prem maine har waqt har pal tumhara intezzar kia .. hamesha karungi
Har waqt har pal tumse pyaar kia hamesha karungi
Par tum agar jana chahte ho to main tumhe nahi rokungi.
Aaj main Heer Mann inn hawaon ko sakshi manke in fizaon ko sakshi manke apne bhagwan ko shakshi manke tumhe dua deti hun tum khush raho bahot khush raho"
Prem stood rooted to his place while she walked away from him. He could hear those exact words in his mind, but not in her voice. The voice he heard in his head was his. It was as if he was telling her those, not the other way. He thought he just broke her heart but why did he feel like he broke his own one too.
~Aishu
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Comments (10)
i am so sorry friends .. i have been going ill from last two weeks so i haven't wrote a word !! .. i will be coming over soon for two more chapters ...after which again i will take a hiatus coz of personal problems ..!!! ... gimme a week !!! god bless
10 years ago
When will u update dear...its been sooo long..plz update soonn plz add me to ur pm list deepluvprem2014-03-13 13:02:41
10 years ago
Beautiful part ...Loved it ...Waiting for next ...Continue soon ...
10 years ago
the update was superb.👏👏👏 i just wish prem could see heer's love for him really soon and waiting for the chapter wherein he will re confess his love to her in extreme passionate words with lot of repetence for hurting her inadvertently.😳
10 years ago
Aishu 🤗pg 102 each line was v well thought out I can see that. I'm so overwhelmed that you actually pay attention to such minute detail. Of course that's what make the FF special and v close to the show. PH are so real - excellent dialogue delivery by Heer. Oh man did she get Prem's attention or what. Really sad about the whole climax. You got the Prem exactly like the one in show. He's always keeping his confusion in his head - never willing to share. In reality he should share to lessen the burden. Why worry when Heer's already hurting anyway. It's like how deep can u get to drown in sorrow LolzLoved your scenes and dialogues. The entry of Prem is fab and Heer's exit from mandir is even better. Umm Prem catching Heer is interesting. The questions or flashes in Prem's head is intriguing to read.Kinda had "walk down the memory lane" - dj vu feeling while reading.Looking forward to next ch. NOT "haha" cuz ik I may hv to expect tragic scene. :/
10 years ago
Loved the update.AwesomeWaiting for the next update
10 years ago
That end gave me goosebumps! I understand what he is trying to say. I just hope its not too late.. Well, here made it clear that it will never be too late. :)Continue soon and thanks for the pm!
10 years ago
hey aishu it was perfectly describedwell versedall the feelings were described flawlesslydialogues were awesomeloved the way you ended the partcontinue asap...waiting for more desperately and ty for the pm
10 years ago
Beautiful update Aishu👏 ... feeling bad for Heer, but can't blame Prem totally here ... waiting for the next update ... Thnx for the PM
10 years ago
Aww poor heer... 😭 feeling really sad for her.. 😭 But i can understand prem's dilemma also..Awesome update aishu..love that scene wen prem was taking her snap and heer caught him red handed 😆 Pls update next asap Thank u so much for updating and thanks for pm 🤗
10 years ago