Chapter 73

3 weeks. It had been 3 weeks since it had all started. The music. The art. The excitement. The enjoyment. The anxiety. The irregular heart beat's. The pumped up adrenaline. And after it all was done then it hit hard, what had been lingering on the surface all the time. Wariness. Fatigue. Tired. It wasn't a single life that went through this every day, there were a multiple number of lives, each with a different background, with a different story, with a different perspective, but together for this; for a success to be so high and mighty that it would be scripted in golden words in the history of Stanford High School.

Khushi sat ideally in the back seat of her car, massaging her hand back and forth to ease out the tension that had built up over night in it. Her head pulled back on the head rest of the car seat, eyes closed she wondered how her life had picked up momentum the way it would never have had before all this would happen. If she thought about it today, she knew this was maybe her destiny, but she wasn't sure if it was just that. There were a lot of thing that she didn't want to have as her destiny, a lot of feelings that she didn't want to feel, a lot of care that she didn't want to shower. But all such thoughts at the back of her mind she knew were futile. As a matter of fact she had come to terms with believing that everything did actually happen the way it wanted to, no matter how much we resented it, or prayed for it to not happen, it sometimes just happened.

A month ago, she was sure she wouldn't have imagined her life like it was right now. People around her were off to school, to study, she was there, for that too, yeah sure, but that wasn't the only thing she was for. She was there to dance, to feel herself being lifted off her feet, to let her heart flutter, to fall in love again. But this time it was different, in fact she just knew 'again' was something not to be used, she had never really fallen out of love, or had she? She wasn't sure, she just knew that with this love, came dangers, and heart breaks, and for what she could tell a broken friendship too.

Her features grimaced as she thought about Vivek and her equation declining every day. They hadn't talked to each other in weeks, well not properly at least, and even though he kept denying she knew something was on his sleeve that he was hiding from her. Something that Arnav knew. The moment that thought landed in her mind her hands grew still causing them to put a slight edge to her movements, like sharpening it, as she revisited the countless moments she had seen pass between Arnav and Vivek. If she said they were brothers to each other right now, it really wouldn't be too wrong, because that's how they were around each other. Sometimes she thought it was all a faade, but when she looked at them closely, she knew what ever was going on between them was true even if that was not meant to be, and that is exactly what irked her. For months she had been hoping that Arnav and Vivek would get along, but that wish surely included her in it, this, this bonding of theirs had no appearance of her. It was all secretive and beyond comprehension to her. She being she, had questioned to both of them, majorly Arnav, using him as a trump card even though she felt evil about it, she would ask, somehow or the other, but that guy had some nerve to him. He woudn't say a word, not even a hint to what was going on, and that is exactly how she had realized, that if she told him a secret, he would keep it with him tell he died.

Thinking of Arnav made her stomach churn within her, and heart flutter at an exceptionally un countable pace. Perfectly, aware of the fact that she loved him with all her heart, she had only began to discover the advantages of being Lindsey Dawson. Right now, imagining someone else in her place sent shivers down her spine honestly, because having anybody else being so intimate with him would have surely killed her. This was something that she knew for sure. Like Totally. He touched her like he owned her, like she was his own, and that was one thing that was making her go bonkers over him, but apart from that everything from his nature to the way he was with her had taken some kind of u turn right now. Like a new leaf or something. It was funny actually when she thought of it, Arnav Singh Raizada and new leaf was really not something she would have associated together in a single sentence a month ago, but right now she wasn't surprised that she did. He had turned into something like that, stunning her, bowling her over, making her fall incredibly in love with him.

"Ms.Khushi school is here." She heard her driver say in front, faintly catching him grinning, which quickly vanished the moment she opened her eyes wide, rubbing them profusely and clumsily stepped out of the car, almost nudging the door close and walking drowsily inside the main corridor. Even though she practically felt like sleep walking, her mind was alert enough to have figured out that the population of students felt eerily scarce. Leaning against an empty pillar, she checked her wrist watch, looking at the time and groaned to herself. 7:30. School didn't start until 8:00. What in the living f**k was the driver thinking bringing her to school so early? She considered the idea of giving him a rough telling off on her way back home, but quickly discarded it, letting her ever so lovely sleep take over her senses, drowning all wicked thoughts out of her mind.

"Hey" She heard, and felt at the same time a light tap on her shoulder, and she turned around almost jumping out of her skin, seeing Arnav standing there, grinning from ear to ear, like he was looking at a clown or something.

"What is so funny?" She instantly demanding, straightening herself, in fact opening her eyes properly now, and stood straight in front of him, trying to look tall, but she was obviously much shorter than he was, barely reaching up to his shoulder, so any effort to look him straight in the eye without letting her head edge up a bit was completely futile.

"You were sleeping. (She gave him the 'oh so what? Everyone sleeps' look) Leaning against the pillar. You could do with a bed you know. (Khushi scowls at him) Why are you so early anyway?" Arnav asked her relaxed adjusting the strap of his bag on his shoulder, looking at her like she was something he was eyeing for the first time.

"Blame that retard driver of mine. I don't know what the f**k was he thinking bringing me to school so early. Idiot. (Arnav begans to grin again) Hey you! (Slapping him hard on his shoulder, he rubs it letting out a low ouch) Enough of the grinning already! I was just sleeping. (Lost in her own thoughts) Come to think of it, I haven't slept in ages, (Looking at Arnav as if he was genie) Hey, can you arrange a bed for me?" Khushi asked, all googly eyed on him, in the perfect manner that she knew to pacify guys.

"I am not your attendant. (Khushi says some garbage to herself) Okay. Fine. I'll try to arrange something. (Khushi lights up) Not a bed mind you, but something close." Arnav said finally, his mind working at rocket speed trying to work out where and how was he exactly going to arrange a sleeping place for Khushi. If someone else had asked him something like this, he would have walked away straight, grumbling something derogatory to them, but this was Khushi, and when she was around he had little choice, but to comply with her requests, or orders more like. Lost in his thoughts he didn't realize when Khushi had threw her arms around him, and he had naturally put his around hers, like he knew that was going to happen. But point blank, he did not. He was liking the way she was, open, yet too clingy, and well to be honest with himself, very conventional for his taste, guess somewhere to hope that she would be a little unconventional wouldn't be a bad idea at all. When she pulled away he was only slightly grinning, like the way he did when he was going to tease her.

"I thought you were going to kiss me too. (Khushi narrows her eyes at him) Fine. My bad. Next time maybe. (Khushi is about to slap him again but he dodges this time) You can only catch me off guard once Gupta, not every time. (Khushi grins at him slowly) I'll go arrange something, stay here. Get some sleep maybe too." He said laughing his throaty hoarse laugh that she was absolutely addicted too, and though nothing could stop her from making a screwed expression right now, she still managed to only half grin, seeing him disappear.

You gave me love,

you gave me hope

While she pondered over the thought of falling asleep again, and even better idea struck her. If Arnav was here, it was possible Vivek was too. After all they had such an awesome bro-mance going between them, it was impossible to tear them apart, she scorned to herself thinking of them being cozy and stuff. Marching towards where she thought he might be hanging out, with his script writer friends, she entered the almost empty hall, seeing only a single person sitting at a far corner immediately recognizing who it was.

"Hey Casey." She asked standing right in front of Casey who seemed to be shifting through a range of pages in a single file, and only looked up when Khushi called, instantly putting up a smile on her face. She liked Khushi, in fact she admired her, even sometimes envied her. She had everything a girl would want, great looks, immense talent, extraordinary brains, and a great guy who was head over tails in love with her, everyone could see that even if they weren't official, and more importantly she had a best friend like Vivek, looking out for her, all round the clock. *Sigh* So lucky.

"Hi Khushi. (Seeing Khushi roaming her eyes here and there) Are you looking for Vivek? (Khushi snaps her attention back at her and nods slowly) He hasn't arrived yet." Casey informed her, seeing Khushi's shoulder slightly drop low, even though out of common modesty and manner she still smiled at Casey, giving one more feature for her to be impressed about. The girl has grace too. Casey noted down in her list of 'Things I admire about Khushi Kumari Gupta'.

"What are those files for, if you don't mind me asking?" Khushi asked curiously, looking at the different pictures in the file, each intricately laminated and punched neatly in some order.

"Poster designs. (Khushi sits in an empty seat next to Casey) You and Arnav will have to photo shoot for the posters, I am checking these sampled poster designs and stuff related to it." Casey explained to her, and a thoughtful expression quickly sketched itself on her face, a surly frown some moments later spreading across her pretty face.

"I didn't know that was included in the protocol. (Casey lets out a giggle hearing Khushi's sarcastic tone) I mean seriously, what are we? Celebrities? Guess I didn't sign up for all of this. Who in the world does this stuff in high school?" Khushi grumbled, totally put off by the idea of posing in front of the camera. Her and Arnav's romance or more like Jamie and Lindsey's life couldn't be described in a single picture. What a joke.

"I know it must be hectic for you and Arnav, but quite honestly don't complain about it. If anything be grateful because I know a lot of people would die to be in your place. (Khushi smiles at her soberly) To be you." Casey said in an affectionate grave voice, getting her message across, Khushi letting out a hoarse laughter, shocking Casey for a moment then sobered up being totally serious.

"Trust me nobody would want to be me, or live my life for that matter. But yeah I know I am being ungrateful by complaining about this. It is a once in a lifetime opportunity I completely realize that." Khushi told her, her expression so panned out, for a minute Casey thought she had unknowingly hurt Khushi somehow, or instigated something bad to uncurl within her, but then she let the thought get off her mind thinking it was just her over thinking.

"Nope Khushi. People would die to be you. I would die to be you. (Khushi is all ears) You are beautiful and so talented. I mean I don't know of anything you aren't good at. Drawing, dancing, singing, acting, sports, academics, what is left? You are beautiful too. Good at everything. I mean that is so rare to find people like you. I really admire you for everything you are. (Khushi smiles gracefully) And you have a great people beside you like Arnav and Vivek. (Khushi's smile widens) Vivek can't stop talking about you. It's like you are the only person he knows clearly." Casey poured her heart out to the girl she admired so much sometimes it hurt her that she couldn't be what Khushi was. Khushi was smiling ear to ear now, clearly bowled over by Casey's heart felt confession but mostly with the way she talked about Vivek. From the day she had met Casey, introduced by Vivek of course she had sensed her attraction towards him, and had even meant to tell him about it, but alas they hadn't talked in a while. What was more pleasant to her was the fact that she saw no hits of jealousy when she talked of Vivek and her, Khushi's relationship. It was just plain admiration and maybe a desire to get to experience something like that. Nothing negative like it had been in Vishaka's case.

"Erm Thanks. But well to be quite honest, I wasn't born to be good at all the stuff you mentioned. I became good at them because that was the only option for me. I didn't choose all this, circumstances choose this for me." Khushi said her tone dead serious, giving Casey the direct indication, that she wasn't just a normal girl, she was a girl with a story. Suddenly Khushi's phone beeped breaking the serious atmosphere, and saying a half audible sorry she read the text message replying to it quickly and in no time was standing up from her chair.

"Well I got to go. (Casey nods) I'll see you later then." Khushi said bidding off, her smile never fading away.

"I will let Vivek know you were asking for him." Casey answered back good naturedly and Khushi looked at her a pleased expression all over her face.

"Please do. And while you are at it, let him know I will be waiting for him in class.(Casey nods) Thanks" Khushi said and Casey nodded, getting back to studying her poster designs while Khushi walked out, just outside being met by an indignant Arnav.

"What took you so long? On second thought why did you even move from there? (Studying her suddenly wide awake) Don't tell me you aren't sleepy anymore." Arnav asked her more like rapid firing her with 3 questions in exactly 4 seconds or so.

"No No, I do need to relax. I went there to meet Vivek apparently he hasn't reached yet.(looking at her watch) We have like 15 minutes to rest. (making a remembrance expression) We don't have an early morning class, so yeah we have an additional one hour too. That makes an hour and fifteen minutes. Cool enough. (Arnav looks at her and just nods leading the way) I was just thinking about what Casey said to me a while ago. (Arnav looks at her skeptically) Vivek script writing partner? That is Casey. (Arnav makes an expression like he is straining his memory to remember then finally nods) She was I don't know looking at me with such admiration I am not sure if I deserve any of it. She made me sound like a dream come true." Khushi said in a slightly awed but mostly perplexed expression relating to Arnav Casey's direct words who just carried his same sobered expression, from inside glad that his assessment of Khushi was pretty fair. At least now he wasn't the only person who thought of her like that, in fact, as he thought of it, he knew Vivek thought of her as a human the same way he did, that made two of them, now three.

"I don't see what is there to contemplate about in this. You are certainly a dream come true girl." Arnav said with such steadiness and surety in his voice, Khushi was knocked out of her league for a moment, then regained her senses giving him a small smile. Before he said anything to say they had reached the drama room where they had their dance practices, and opened the door for her leading her inside, her studying the environment confused.

"Why have you brought me here? We are going to sleep here?" Khushi asked in a baffled tone, walking herself in only to see two flat, long sauna beds, laid in the place where usually she was standing draped in the round of Arnav's arms. She looked at Arnav still buzzing with questions and he after giving her a little nod went on to explain how Sir Brendon had this fixed up for them the moment he had talked to him of their situation.

"He is pretty stoked about our work isn't he?" Khushi said, laying down on the bed, as Arnav nods laying himself flat, only to perch himself up on one arm so that he could look at her, her rolling over to the side where she could face him. Since their beds were separate and a good distance apart too they couldn't touch each other, but then they didn't need to for that matter, they had effectively tried to get back the fun going, less heated banter between them up again.

"Yeah he seems contented. He has been pushing us to our limits." Arnav said conversationally, looking at her rubbing her eyes ever so cutely, it was just impossible to not fall in love with her.

"That is his job. (rubbing her eyes) I am going to get some sleep though I don't think this hard plank is going to work for too long, but I am too worn out to complain. (Looking at Arnav before rolling up straight) You should get some sleep too." Khushi said, closing her eyes firmly, groggy as anything, and in no time Arnav could hear her hearts soft rhythmic beating clearly indicating that she had drifted off to sleep.

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He casually strolled in, his bag hanging loosely on one shoulder, hoodie off his head hanging sexily loose at the broad space where his neck ended. It was like friction to her when he entered the room that she looked up, her eyes glued on him taking in his breath taking form. She was completely aware, and had accepted the fact that he wasn't really as hot as the other guys around, his body was well toned, and reflexes taut that gave an edge to his very exterior but, there was no denying he was totally attractive. Or at least she found him to be. When she had first entered Stanford High seeing him intimidated her, because being honest to herself she had developed a liking for him instantly without even knowing him. She still remembered how he had held her when she was about to topple flat on her face on the ground, slipped his firm long hands around her waist and steadied her while she had most certainly awkwardly smiled at him, and he hadn't said anything, just asked her if she was okay and if she needed any more assistance. He probably didn't even remember all of that, she chided herself, because he had never really shown any kind of interest in her the way she wanted him to show. She had shook her head almost immediately, and to this day she regretted, if only she had taken his assistance maybe she would have known him more instead of blindly falling for him.

But all was good right now, when he sat next to her, and she realized the whole drama thing had not only made her productive in varied areas but had landed her into direct correspondence with him. This was truly for her, a dream come true opportunity.

"Hey, you look nice today." Vivek told her smiling his ever confident, sweet smile at her, and she blushed slightly, throwing a small smile of her own his way.

"I always look the same." She told him, not being able to string anything else to keep up a conversation, embarrassed with fact that she had been drooling over him, and most apparently by the way he was acting she was sure he had caught her doing so. Still he didn't prompt anything like most guys around here did, and that's what she liked about him, he was just so unimaginably good, if she could have him, if just once, life would be awesome.

"Nope. Your hair is pulled down today.*pause* In fact I think you should do that every day." Vivek complimented her whole heartedly, like a true gentlemen, and regular teenage boys did. If there was one thing he was an ace at, it was at flattering people. Casey smiled at him, this time not really blushing, more like her way of saying thank you. There was no further talk, as Vivek took out his script and started practicing it her trying hard to concentrate on her own task instead of getting drowned in his husky voice from time to time.

"Hey. (Vivek looks at her) Khushi dropped a while ago. She was asking for you. She said she will be waiting in class for you." Casey told him, suddenly remembering about Khushi and her talk a few minutes ago, and though she had expected Vivek to smile and thank her for delivering the news to him, instead he just scrunched up his nose, his face contorted with grave lines of grief and confusion.

"But we don't have an early morning class today. (shaking his head) I guess she forgot." Vivek told her, and Casey only gave him a look that told him that she had acknowledged what she had told him and that she had nothing to add hence forth. They both fell silent until Vivek spoke again.

"What else did she say?" Vivek asked her curiously, wanting to know more about what she and Khushi had talked about. She wasn't sure what to answer, and whether to tell him about her and Khushi's talk. Finally deciding on giving him a brief over view she worked her brain around forming a good sentence.

"Well we talked. About things. (Vivek is looking at her way which directly indicated that he wanted more information) She came here to meet you but since you weren't here, she sat down with me and was asking about the poster designs and all that." Casey explained, missing about the most important part of the conversation she had with Khushi intentionally. She knew telling Vivek that she admired Khushi and everything was going to be very awkward, since she had a lover's interest for him, and well Khushi was his best friend.

"What else?" He asked skeptically all his senses concentrating on Casey at the moment.

"Nothing. She got a text, from Arnav I guess, then she left." Casey told him and he relaxed a bit, nodding then got back to his narration practice, however Casey continued to look at him a baffled finding his reaction to it all a bit odd. Khushi was his best friend, she would tell him everything he would ask to know, it was weird of him to press her for information. It almost seemed like all was not well with Khushi and Vivek.

******************************************

She looked at his tube covered body, all of him damaged beyond repair. It took her all her strength to contain herself, as she walked towards his bed, hearing him move his position slightly when he saw her coming, causing her to rush towards him, crashing right behind him, stilling him by keeping a firm hand on him.

"Don't move. I am right here Vivek. Just don't move." She said in a croaky voice, as he relaxed and slumped back into position on his bed, his eyes searching her soul, breaking what remaining strength she had left inside her.

"Hey." He said after some while, smiling at her painfully, as she picked up his limp hand from his side, kissing it slightly, tears flowing from her eyes, partially from being closed, and partially from the inner turmoil she was going through. It was like daggers shooting into her, like someone had ripped something out of her heart, and she didn't dare say what it was, she knew they both knew, her heart. Seeing him like this had tore her into pieces but more than that it had damaged her heart in a way that every beat of it was a collectively painful process on its own.

"Hi." She said finally, a watery smile, which was more like a give away of the pain that she felt searing inside her, all of it slowly dieing, as he counted his labored breathes.

"Ch..un. Don't..cry." He said swallowing the blood that was coming in his mouth; his blood shot eyes staring into her pitiless black holes literally begging her to stop crying. Her vulnerable state snatched every remaining ounce of positivity that he was trying to evoke inside him, he knew he was dieing, he knew this was the end, the last of her, the last of everything, and it pained so much to acknowledge that, it pained so much to let it all go, to let her go.

"You promised me you would never go. You..said..that Chun..I'll stay with you forever..I promise. (meeting her eyes with him) You..said that Vivek..how can you..just.." Khushi broke down, despite of giving her everything to fight the urge to stop crying, but when things break, only the vulnerable, those who know it, can hear the sound of shatter, can hear the misery of the unfortunate.

"I am sorry." He managed to utter in complete regret his own eyes welling up with tears, as muffled cries echoed in the silent hall of the room, shaking the insides of both of them to the core.

"It's not enough. This is not enough. It is not. I..I..cant live without you." Khushi said in a melancholic complete distressed tone her pain getting the better of her, their eyes communicating thousands of thoughts every seconds, as tears made their way down his face, her grip on his hand growing tighter and tighter with every second.

"You have to Chun. We.. all can.. live without each other." He said in complete pain, biting his tongue between his teeth to stop the tears from his eyes to flow, to stop the pain, to let her know this was the ultimate end.

"What if..if..I say..I..cannot not? ..I..think..I have an option too..(Vivek looks at her with dread) I..can die too..with you..Suicide.." She said her voice dangerously low, like she was contemplating the option of suicide inside her head, and her smile grew grave, and threatening, shaking Vivek to the core, his fingers now shaking within her grip, and she looked down startled and then up at the heart meter his beat growing erratically abnormal.

"Don't..you even think..of that something that stupid? Do..you get me? Don't. Chun..you and I end..right here..if you do anything of that sort..we will end." Vivek said coughing breathlessly between his words, but only strong enough to get his message across. The fire he saw in Khsuhi's eyes, the helplessness he saw in her vulnerable form scared him, he knew she was blinded, by her love for him, he would never be able to die in peace if anything happened to her.

"We are..ending anyway." She said, choking on her words, her gaze fixed on him, dark and menacing, she was daring to give it all, because for a fact now she had nothing to lose. Vivek looked at her pleadingly, but he knew she wouldn't budge, and he picked her hand up, both of them with his tubing covered scratched hands, gathering all the strength from within him to make this one last shot worth it, to make his life worth it. He only barely managed to sit up cupping her face in his large calloused, bloody hands their gazes glued on eachother.

"Death ends a life. (Eyes watering now) Not a relationship. (He moves closer kissing her on the forehead) We are forever." Vivek said in last frail attempt collapsing in full swing down on the bed, the heart meter by his bed going crazed, as he coded, and she jumped up from seat frantically calling the doctors to his aid, to the aid of everything that she had bargained for fruitlessly.

This runaway heart

Khushi woke up with a start, sitting upright on her plank supposed bed, rubbing her eyes furiously, perspiring heavily thankfully not shouting, but all her muscles were tensed, she could feel her skin burning in the cold winter breeze, her tears were hot when they cascaded down her cheeks ended aimlessly at her nape and then getting absorbed elsewhere. She was shivering, but not because of the chilly weather but with the horrible day dream she had had. Her eyes seemed to have lost the twinkle to them they were just pit holes for now, and for a good moment she was struggling to differentiate between what was real and was not.

Next to her, some centimeters apart Arnav slept tilted towards her, his eyes closed, rough minimal stubble brushing against the pillow-less bed of his, his chest heaving up and down from his mildly fitted shirt. She sighed to herself, relaxing a bit, her shoulders hunching back trying to discard the devastating scary nightmare out of her system, but that was just impossible to do, she just knew, and believed with all her heart, that day dreams always meant something.

Jumping out from her bed, she paced about the room, checking the watch and noted that she had still another fifteen minuted before her class thinking of it as the perfect opportunity to find Vivek. Giving a sleeping Arnav one last look, she moved out of the room like the wind, running frantic around the sparsely populated campus grounds, her eyes moving from inch to inch in sight to find Vivek anywhere. Entering the now completely populated hall where she earlier met Casey she rushed towards Casey again, panting heavily but there wasn't a moment for her to spare, she had to meet Vivek somehow, to relax her panting heart.

"Casey have you seen Vivek?" Khushi asked hurriedly in a voice laced with utter urgency and Casey got up to her feet, shocked to see Khushi so out of breathe.

"Are you alright? (Khushi manages to mutter that she is fine) Vivek went towards the locker room just now." Casey told her, and saying a quick thanks Khushi ran out of the hallway towards the locker room, leaving behind a completely rattled and stunned Casey. The only thought that came into her head right now was this; What in the world is going on between these two?

Upon entering the locker room, she made a dash for the boys lockers most certainly finding Vivek there with a couple of other guys that she hadn't even bothered to start naming and recognizing, and taking fast paced strides towards him the moment Vivek turned around she had lunged on to him, holding him to herself for her very dear life. Everyone around her seemed shocked mostly Vivek who was too surprised to say or mutter anything, but only protectively wound his arms around her, rubbing her back slightly well aware that she was dead scared or worried, or feeling any of the emotions that belonged to the negative department. The guys around them smirked at the banter of the two, and Vivek giving them a hard stare that clearly indicated that they should leave, they all gave a teasing thumbs up sign to him and disappeared out of sight in a matter of few seconds.

With them gone, Vivek had his mind back to Khushi who was still clutching on to him tightly, like if she let go, if would vanish into thin air, and so neither her grip was loosening nor as he noted, her eyes were opening. They were shut completely tight, jaw fixed, and a second later he even felt hot tears trickling down on to his shirt making it damp even more evident because of the winter breeze that was hitting them square from the small caged window nearby.