The two treacherous weeks of exams passed in mostly a giffy with monotonous events occurring every single day, the routine every day almost similar, while at the same time freaked out students prayed to their million different Gods to have them pass with flying colors.

It was a week directly after the exams had ended that Khushi had begun to curse the living hell out of her wrecked luck. She was informed by her mother, and Arnav's parents that they would be going out, and so she was to be dropped at the Raizada house. Raizada house was usually one place that she craved to be at all the time, but not now, with him hovering about her all the time. Aakash and Anjali's absence, in the house did not help her much either, so leaving her luck to itself she isolated herself in the pink walls of the room that she supposing-ly missed, not that the fact that she still hated pink changed.

The only saving grace for her life right now, was her iPod. She had heard music calms the soul, and she believed that with all her heart, music not only calmed her soul it also deviated her mind off other things when everything else was wrong, hearing music actually helped her make sense out of her bizzard situations.

Song: Halo By Bethany Joy Lenz

( All lyrics in purple only)

"I never promised you a ray of light

I never promised there would be sunshine everyday

I give you everything I have, the good, the bad."

She sang in her delightful, lying ideally on the bed her eyes closed taking in the essence of the song she so loved ever since she had heard it play in one of her favorite series by her favorite star cast member, Haley James Scott, in real Bethany Joy Lenz.

"Why do you put me on a pedestal,

I'm so up high that I can't see the ground below,

So help me down you've got it wrong, I don't belong there."

Arnav closed in towards her room's door, hearing voices from inside, sticking his ear to the door, only to hear her sing out loud, possibly he guessed going with the flow of the song as she heard the song on her iPod. A small lop sided smile of admiration made its way across his way, lightening up his attractive features, as he let his ear stick to the door, hearing her melodious voice.

"One thing is clear,

I wear a halo,

I wear a halo when you look at me,

But standing from here, you wouldn't say so

you wouldn't say so, if you were me

And I, I just wanna love you,

Oh oh I, I just wanna love you"

Khushi sang as he getting a little over hyped with her song, knocked open the slightly ajar door, stumbling into her room, taking her completely by surprise who was ideally resting not at all aware of his presence. He moved away embarrassed, grumbling something inwardly to herself as she stopped singing, plucking the headphones out of her ears and marched towards him staring at him in disbelief.

"What in the world?" Khushi asked in apprehension, as he calmed his nerves down trying to respond to her in a non radical manner.

"I was just listening to you singing..you sing well (Khushi acknowledge the compliment with a slight twitch in her expression) You want to sit out? The weather's good."

Khushi nodded at him awkwardly apparently still trying to get over her original shock, and grabbing a warm coat from the bed, she followed him outside to the bench seating herself from a distance away from him, an uncomfortable silence surfacing between the two of them, until several moments later, Arnav out of particular pattern broke it.

"It's been really long since we sat like this, isnt it?" Arnav sat breaking the silence between the two as Khushi craned her neck sideways to look at him, seeing him fidgeting with his fingers, twisting and turning them doing absolutely senseless stuff to them.

"Yeah. I wish it would rain." She said calmly, him stilling his movement to divert his attention to her, looking at her in bafflement.

"Huh what? Rain? Why?"

"When it rains, you cry and nobody can see your tears. That's the biggest advantage of rain, it hides your tears like nothing else ever can" She said solenmly, looking down at her thighs not being able to look at his wary face. It was as if God had been around when she had been wishing that she felt a droplet of water fall on her nose, and she looked up in surprise at the dark sky above, pouring out rain. Her eyes shifted from the sky to him, and he smiled quietly at her, his eyes holding a sad twinkle to them.

"Cry. The rain is here."

She looked away from him, letting the tear flow, blurring her vision, but more than ever thankful for the rain, even though she knew there was nothing to hide, she was just thankful her misery wasn't as evident with the rain around as it would be without the rain. Her eyes were a blanket of darkness and a certain mist engulfed her pupils, making her almost look lifeless in the rain, but Arnav had other things to notice since they did not have eye to eye contact. The rain pouring down heavily, and without any shelter of what so ever the two of them, were dripping wet from every inch of them, not to forget that the chilled to the bone feeling was somewhere around.

"Since when do I make you nervous?" Arnav asked her conversationally, not fond of the tip tapping sound around them, or the awkward silence that they were clouded in, noticing the way she was fidgeting about with her fingers, not meeting his eye. She finally looked up, looking at him apprehensively for a second, then masked an expression of ignorance.

"Since forever." She said in a subtle, yet a hard shaky voice, her lower lip quivering with cold now, all of her trying to remain steady but much to her surprise, he raised his eyebrows, holding his hand out for her, with after much thinking she took and let him escort her to the garage shutting the door behind them, and opening up the lights inside, the hammering of the rain drops mixing rapidly with the sound of their raised heart beats.

"Its much more warmer here then the house." He informed her, as she nodded seating herself on a small stool that kept in a far corner of the garage while Arnav comfortably seated himself down on the ground. Except for the constant pounding of the rain drops on the closed garage door, their was no other sound that could be heard, Khushi trying to meet her eye with him, who was constantly staring ar her, but she kept looking away fidgeting with her fingers again.

"You haven't known me since forever." He ideally commented, successful in gaining her attention, who looked at him with an unwavering sight, her features turning hard, as this time she raised her eye brows at him, searching him from inch to inch making him feel uncomfortable like he made her before.

"Exactly my point. I don't know you. Never forever." She said coldly, her gaze lingering on to the change in his facial expressions, an image of a twitchy expression of his face forming on her retina. He remained silent after that, her dialogue blowing him out of his mind, the seriousness in her tone, and the way she had looked at him while saying it, was, he was afraid to admit, something that scared him.

"Gup..I mean Khushi, Its time we talked." He said, his tone unflinching, her exterior hard and determined, failing to give him any positive response, as she sat stoned waiting for him to proceed further.

"Sure. But it's raining, and if I can't hear you then don't blame me, it's the rain that's at fault. I am going to try my best to hear you out." She said in a half joking, half serious mood, thought Arnav caught the edge in her voice dissolving the vexation within himself, trying to calm his nerves down so that this time he wouldn't go about messing thing.

"Khushi, you really need to stop letting one sentence dictate your life.. (Khushi flinched, he stares right into her eyes)..change your opinion about me. I feel..I am sorry, for that day, for what I said..(Khushi is all eyes now) I..wish I could change that..take it all back, but it's a pity that I cant, and I am sorry for that too Khushi. I really am. I..respect your feelings, you know me so much more than just this..dont you? (Khushi freezes) You..told me you could read me, and trust me if somebody else would have told me that, I would have tagged them crazy, but when you said it, I believed it, because it is true, and you know that. (Khushi's face turns expressionless) I was just taken aback, when you came at me like that..it was weird, I still have a lot of figuring out to do, when it comes to girls, specifically when it comes to you.. I feel for you Khushi, trust me I do, I can't say if I love you, I don't know if I do..but I feel for the bond between us, it is very special to me..unique. (Khushi's eyes well up with tears but she holds them back) It hurts to see us like this, the thing between us fall apart like this. It just does, and I don't know why. I need you to understand Khushi, Please. Never again can I see myself go this weak. Please Khushi." He said his entire form slumped, like never before, his pleading eyes searching hers in a manner in which she had never seen him to do that. She didn't know, there was a side to him, like that existed, the broken, teenager he was inside, the real person he was deep within which he wouldn't show anybody. She didn't know what to feel, devastated for him or for herself, shattered for him or for herself, sorry for him or for herself.

"Wow. That's a lot of talking for Arnav Singh Raizada." Khushi finally said after rough uncomfortable moments of silence taking him by merry surprise, him tilting his head in just a bit arch manner then bringing into original position closely examining her.

"A surprise for me too." He said shortly, trying to find more words to know what was going on inside her. He suddenly didn't know himself, he wasn't like this, he didn't have peering sensations, or knowing animals running through him, he was cool with what was thrown his way, this he was not cool with, but that doesn't stop him from being head on about does it?

Khushi remained silent a multiple number of thoughts running wild in her head, the train of them having no stop to where to be parked at. She felt wrecked and the feelings that she had buried deep within her were coming back to surface yet again, and honestly if there was anything more horrible, then she would bet her life on it at the moment. Arnav waits for her to say something for a considerable few minutes then puts his head low, playing with his fingers aimlessly.

"Hey, Arnav. ( Arnav looks up towards her) I don't really think you realize how much I was hurt that day. I know it just happened a month and a half week ago (Arnav momentarily stares at her with inflated pupils then goes to sober mood) but for me it's been the longest month of my life, and it took me a long time to deal with it all. Even longer then when my dad left me and Maa at the alter. You probably have a vague idea of the feelings I had for you, or maybe still have, I don't know really, I guess I am just too good with putting up barriers now you know. (Her eyes are locked with his) Because the moment I start putting my trust into someone, giving my heart to someone, they back away. Despite that fact, I still, I was beginning to trust you with my heart you know, I mean you weren't exactly my best friend, because I wasn't attracted to you like that, I was attracted to you, like in way..in which maybe, I would want to marry you 10 years from now. (Tears fall down her eyes) And I hate marriage for that matter. I really do. I did really fall in love with you, and for a girl like me who hates men and has no regard for them giving my heart to you was a big thing for me. Really big. (Arnav lowers his head in embarrassment at her) Trying to understand what you told me right now, is very difficult Arnav. *pause* Maybe a part of me does understand what you are saying, maybe it always has, but..b..ut..I really cant be the girl whose going to spent her life pining for someone who doesn't care. I just cant be that girl..I have seen my mother..be that women..I see her be that women everyday..pining for my dad, and honestly the more I see it..the more I just hate it. For some it may show how strong love can be..but to me it only shows how much betrayal can hurt. I am sorry if I wont be able to do justice to your feelings, or the way you feel about me, because I am messed up too, and its taken every ounce of me to put me back together again..so..I just cant lose that now. Not ever. Maybe someday, I am going to be happy losing it, when I know that..I am someones..and someone is mine..for SURE. No illusions, no nothing, just mine." Khushi said tears cascading slowly down her flushed cheeks, her eyes sparkling like hazel crystals, as she looked away from him wiping the tears off her face, and stood up steadying herself for a few minutes, straightening up her clothes, and looks at Arnav now with dry eyes.

The first cut is the deepest

"The rain's stopped. We should go back to the house." Khushi said slowly, Arnav giving her no response too lost in his thoughts to respond, the creeky sound of the garage gate being pulled up by her, bringing him out of his trance.

"You are wrong. (Khushi turns around to look at him) I do understand how hurt you were that day. You may have cried buckets that day but you were really not the only one who cried about what happened between us. (Khushi looks at him in anticipation) I cried too. (Khushi goes sober) And if it means anything to you, it was the first time in ten years." He said in a jaw fixed determined tone, his soulful look penetrating way into her sending tremors down her spine. Quickly she turned away from him pacing her way back to the house, her eyes raining with tears, but by the time she was turning the handle of the door, all that was left were dry tear tracks, an indication of how less she cared about them now. She could just say now effortlessly, I am use to it.

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nav_bat2013-06-27 14:17:38