They shifted uneasily in their places, faces painted with sheer anger and horror, their entire bodies fixed with the fierce rush of adrenaline consuming them all. Arnav walked towards the trio of them surprised to see them all together in the gym area, his eyes for a brief second meeting with Karan, who quickly looked away still in disappointment, making Arnav make a depressing sign of indigence to himself. His sight then lingered on to the stiff composure of his two siblings, Aakash and Anjali both standing side by side, their faced ashened with terror, but mostly he could see a dark shade of angst and unbearable fury flowing through both of them.

Arnav made an attempt trying to walk past them as if he hadn't even noticed them, even though most of his mind was against the gesture he still carried it out and whatever the implications of his actions, this time like every time he was the only one to blame.

"Playing Hide and Seek wont earn you any grace marks Arnav." He heard his brother speak in a throaty, anger covered tone his whole body becoming tense as he stopped dead in his tracks, turning around to look at Aakash directly in his eye, but to his utmost surprise the intensity of emotions that he saw in them, were so unfamiliar, so very unlike his jovial brother, part of his doubted if he even knew the 18 year old standing in front of him or not.

"It's amazing to see that you still have common decency to stop when someone aims a sarcastic remark at you. Good to know." Aakash said in a tone that implicated anything but sarcasm, his eyes searching Arnav's body to and fro for a split second making Arnav shiver with fright. Anjali stepped in front beside Aakash her own eyes shooting daggers at Arnav, who now was completely taken aback by the hostile party of the three, more appropriately two, since Karan only lurked in the background his eyes communicating the deep shame he felt at being Arnav's best friend at the moment.

"What is it?" Arnav finally asked, thankful that his vice box and cooperated enough to get some sound out his mouth, and amazingly the words were stringed perfectly to, so he just couldn't thank luck right now anymore.

"We need to talk Arnav. Follow us outside." Anjali said in a robotic tone, her voice losing all shards of sympathy for her brother, the tone commanding and majestic, very unlike her, the whole scenario turning more and more alien to Arnav. The implication of his first name being used instead of the common nickname of Chotte, was enough of a hint to tell him what was going on. He knew this was going to come, but well to be quite honest with himself, he had no idea the whole thing was going to turn to this magnitude of ugly.

Aakash and Anjali walked outside, taking fast pace steps, while Arnav knowing he had little of an alternative followed them behind, his eyes shooting an annoyed look at Karan, who just managed to frown at him and looked away getting back to the tread mill.

"So. Even though you didn't deserve to be given a chance to tell your side of the story I would still like to hear, what was going on in your mind when you put up such an act." Anjali said in steady steely voice, her eyes trained like a maniac on Arnav his gaze flinching a bit from Aakash and Anjali but like it ran in the family, he was stubborn too, the best in that amongst the five he wasn't putting down his arms like that, not in front of his siblings anyway.

"Nothing. What do you want me to tell you?" Arnav asked playing it safe until he knew what exactly Anjali-Aakash were talking about. Even though he had a good idea he needed the surety stamp from them to continue this was the best he could do at the moment staying out of risk.

"Very good Arnav. Very good. (Anjali claps her hand in slow motion) That is exactly the kind of reaction I expected. (her tone going raspy) Since you have nothing to say for yourself we may as well tell you what we think of you right now. Yes I understand that you aren't interested in knowing like always, but we like always would like to convey our thoughts to you all the same." Anjali said her voice coming out in a computerized tone, so not human, while Aakash on her side was busy trying to keep his anger in check though the more he tried the more he knew it was impossible to not pounce at Arnav at all.

"Di. Bhai. Stop acting like you have an upper hand on me alright? You never have had. You may as well drop the play now, and let me go because to be quite honest it is creepy. If this all about what happened between me and Khushi, then well, just one word, this is between me and her. We'll sort it out ourselves. We need no one to intervene and tell us what to do. Fine?" Arnav replied back his own voice hoarse, not even a bit of unsteady since his annoyance at Anjali-Aakash was taking the better of him now, pretty quickly, and soon enough he was back to being his unruly self.

"Correction please, Arnav Singh Raizada. It is not WE, it's YOU and HER. You may as well get your pronouns in order Arnav just in case they land you into trouble. Listen to me, loud and clear, you (poking his finger into Arnav's chest) You hurt her. She might not be blood to us, but she is more to us, more than you have ever been, understood? So if you think we are changing sides, we are NOT. We were always on her side, not yours, because you have never shown that you need anybody. And you don't need anybody right? So, that's how it will be. We despise you. (Arnav's face turns stone) We are ashamed of you, do you hear me? We are ashamed of you. A LOT. You toyed her feelings. If you couldn't keep your own feelings in check the common courtesy to at least care about someone would have been good. But that's too much to expect from you isn't it? Sure it is. I don't have to ask myself twice to know the answer to that. (Arnav stands freezed) Now you. You Arnav, stay away from her. Do you get it? Stay AWAY from her. I am surprised at the merry fact that Vivek hasn't dug your grave as of yet, because I certainly feel like doing so, but anyways, if he ever realizes his mistake, he's going to turn back and do just that." Aakash concluded his tone completely bugged with shear antagonism, and saying a quick good bye to Anjali, darting a venomous look at Arnav he walked away from the two of them.

"You two are supposed to be my siblings." Arnav said finally, feeling dejected, much to his own surprise, it was kind of the final blow to his own self esteem, one decision and his entire world had starting falling apart. Danm her. Danm her decisions, danm her existence. He hated her for doing this to him, he hated himself for doing this to himself, he hated too much, he just didn't know, he hated everybody around as of now.

"Don't complain about things going that you have never showed any respect to all your life." Anjali said in a demented, shrewd voice walking away from him and this today, for the first time in years Arnav felt that all his life the indifferent behavior that he had kept towards his siblings was stored deep into their heart. Right now as much as he hated to accept it, he needed them, they DID have an upper hand on him, they were far more experienced, he didn't know who to go to now, he suddenly did not feel self-sufficient at all.

Dhundlein hain sab hein manzar

Ek Dhund Si Chahi hain

(Blur are all the views

A mist is draping us all)

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Phone. Books. Syllabus Circular. That's about it. She re checked the things she was supposed to take home from her locker today, the mental list in her mind ticking off the things that she had already placed in her bag, a thoughtful expressions coming on her face trying to remember what other things should have been on the list. After a few minutes finally contented that she had everything required in her bag, she secured the lock to her locker, and made her way out of the area, only to see Arnav crouching in front of his own locker figuring out stuff to take home like she had been some while ago. Despite the battle with herself, she couldn't resist stopping and looking at him, awing his physic his perfectly toned body, everything about his exterior made her wow, and until yesterday everything about his interior left her in awe as well today maybe she couldn't say the same.

Against her wishes, a tear drop made her way down her cheek the merry events of yesterday playing in front of her, tormenting her soul to what knew no bounds. Just as she was about to drag her feet away from the spot, she felt a rough tug on her arm, in her trance having had failed to realized when Arnav had left the locker open and made his way towards her in a saving grace attempt holding his wrist tightly so she woudnt go away. His mind was in heavy turbulence, and he knew, it didn't matter what had happened between them, she was still the only person who could calm him down. After what he had done it was too much to ask for, but he was selfish and he didn't care, he just wanted peace.

His hand was wound tightly around her wrist, as her eyes registered the expression of shock, and almost instantly she was trying to struggle free but for most of what it was worth, the more she struggled the more his grip tightened, until it was as hard as iron bars cramming her hand, causing her face to twist up in a horrible expression of pain.

"What do you want Arnav?" She spat our fiercely, biting her lips tight so that tears would not stream down her eyes, and instead maintained an iron gaze on him. He looked into her eyes, and let his own flicker past the coldness in them, his own eyes bloody determined to make her talk now.

"Nothing that you do not know of." He answered back in a steely, yet distantly hurt voice, her eyes turning dark and staring at the wrist he was holding, then back at his tormented eyes.

Chaal Hain Gehrein koi

Milta Nahin Koi Nisha

(There is some deep trick behind all of it

No evidence, mark left)

"Look. Here's the thing. You did not let me say it back then, but let me say it to you now, because I am just done, so done keeping it within me. It pierces me, it pains me, and I don't want to say I am used to it. I just don't want to. So just listen to this quietly, and after that leave me alone." She said her voice now spiraling up with the advanced emotions that were going inside her mind, the hazel color in her eyes suddenly turning into black pit holes, that were making direct eye contact with him, yet not a single tear was anywhere hear to draining out of them.

"I fell in love with you. I don't know how. I don't know why. I just did. And now I can do nothing about it. Which makes it so much more difficult. (Arnavs expression calms down a bit, and strained marks appear on his face) But there is no part of me, not even a single one that wishes to get you back. Because I don't want you. I don't think I ever will. (her eyes now completely focused on him, boring into them) I regret loving you Arnav. I regret it every single living moment of my life." She said the words with such intense emotion and ferocity, that he was startled for a moment, and loosened his grip on her wrist, the opportunity that she took to free her hand from him, and just right then, she turned around and walked away, finally letting her tears flow. She didn't know if it was relief that she felt or just a new heightened sense of termination, she just knew she had done the right thing.

"If I would have said I love you back to you, would things have been different?" Arnav couldn't control himself from asking, and she stopped dead in her tracks, turning around to face him, fanning off her tears and looking at him with the most disturbed expression that existed.

"Would things have been different?" He repeated his last words again waiting for her to respond to them, but she was taking her time, standing still studying every inch of him before she decided to answer his question.

"Yes they would have been different. Very different. I would have despised you. Like my father." She said her voice near to crumpling because the very thought of it twisted the image she had of Arnav in her mind. She didn't know but she was just suddenly glad that he had decided not say I love you to her, when he did not believe in the definition of those words. Maybe, that ways she knew, he would be a standard worst then her father ever was.

"What did you want me to say then?" He asked her his voice, failing every inch to stand by him, because his mind was in a blurry haze of deep words, he didn't know what she wanted what she said, she just seemed as confused as he was about the whole situation.

"Anything that would feel real. Anything that would not make you repent your words." She said softly, her eyes narrowed at him, as he looked down, despite the fact that every inch of him was working hard to keep his head upright. Her eyes littered with saline tears, looked at his crouched ashamed formed, and for a moment she just wanted to go there hug him tight, but she resisted the urge within her, and quickly took a 360 degree turn back to the exit door from the locker room.

Aqs kya, baraqs kya

Kya Yaqeen kaisa guma

(What is the Reflection, what is against

What trust, what faith)

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nav_bat2013-04-02 23:11:31