Chapter 53

Batool Imran

@nav_bat

"I don't understand why this is so important to you. It's my secret, it's a person I love, why are you concerned? *pause* (the playful smirk creeping on her face now) Are you jealous?" She asked her, leaving him completely un prepared for such a sudden question, as for s single moment, he loosened his grip on her arm, her finding that moment to ditch him, and run away, catching up with Vivek, glancing back to pass a victory smile at him. He was a baffled for a single moment, thinking over the question she had asked, the suddenly felt irritated with her victory smile, but nevertheless to say he couldn't stop his mind from pondering over the question. She was right, why was he so desperate to know? Why did it matter to him, who she loved? Was he jealous? Was he expecting her to take his name? He didn't know, all he knew was he wanted to know the name so bad now.

***********************************************************

Aparna tossed about on the bed, sitting up straight after a while of reckless tries to force herself into sleep but it really was no use now. She looked around herself at the room, adorned in pink color, the guest room of the Raizada house. She wondered how she had ended up here the events of the previous day had been a complex blur, more appropriately even today had been a vague attempt at solving things. She had come to stay with Anita and Arjun for these three days, like planned only those things didn't seem an inch fine, like they should have initially when Anita had planned the stay.

Aparna helped herself out of bed, just at the moment when Anita and Arjun entered the room, both grim faced, looking worriedly at her worsening health conditions. She stood up mustering up all the stamina inside her, and gave with them a good assuring smile, walking towards the couple of the two of them, keeping her eyes distantly out of touch with Arjun's that were most conveniently hovering over her.

"I am so sorry for all of this. You two should go sit outside, while I prepare something for you to eat." Aparna said modestly, trying to hide the rush of emotions that were travelling at super speed inside her, cutting her path from Arjun who let her go without hesitation, her quivering inside the kitchen hurriedly. Anita looked at Arjun meeting his eyes, trying to read what he was going to do next.

"She's always been like this. Let her deal with herself. Let her deal with my presence in her life all over again, then maybe we can talk." He told Anita solemnly and she nodded, the couple making their way outside, and seated themselves on the sofa, Anita going into the kitchen to help Aparna out, but as if Aparna already knew she stood on the door, turning Anita around and pushing her back towards the couch.

"I am not that sick, that I can't bake you guys some cup cakes. Go sit with your husband Anita and give give him company, I don't want him to think I am ill treating you." Aparna said light heartedly, forcing a small laugh from herself, for a brief second her eyes even twinkling, but it was gone in a fleeting second replaced with that vacant look, causing Anita to nod and take her seat back on the couch.

Some time later Aparna walked out with a pretty crystal plate, freshly baked pastries sitting on it, and kept it on the glass table in front of the couch, serving it to Arjun and Anita, her tries of avoiding Arjun's eyes partly successful. An uncomfortable silence enclosed them, as they ate the cup cakes in silence, Aparna continuously fidgeting with her fingers, looking apprehensively at the bag she had placed on the dinner table, Arjun's throaty voice snapping her back to concentrate on them.

"Are your bags packed?" He asked her causally, as if it was the most regular question to ask, catching her in bewilderment.

"Huh?"

"You are coming with us to stay until the kids are back, aren't you?" Arjun asked her, his eyes now completely trained on every movement that Aparna made, Anita too now studying Aparna's odd movements, and slightly disturbed soul.

"I was..going to..but Anita didn't tell me you were coming..I don't want to intrude your personal space..no Thankyou I am not coming." Aparna managed to string up words in a sentence, stammering the whole time, shivering quietly to herself.

"Well you are coming. If not for yourself then for your little girl. I don't want her to blame me and Anita that we did not take care of her mother while she was away." Arjun explained his point of view, but Aparna still seemed in no mood to face him, or even him look him in the eye, completely dismantled by his demanding tone, the tone she had long forgotten the sound of.

Aparna looked down and nodded, a pleased smile spreading on Arjun's face, the three of them after a while getting up, and briskly Aparna followed the two of them outside, securing the lock of her house and keeping it safe in her hand, the whole journey there on being one of silence.

Aparna scanned the area around her, suddenly feeling very lonely, maybe not very suddenly, there had been days when she hadn't slept for nights because she was lonely and drifting away, somehow she felt this was one of those moment where she figured she wouldn't be able to sleep, not until her life had becomes sorted out, just a little maybe, she didn't want much, just a little bit. While her mind was lost in thoughts, she heard the door creak and tried to collect herself, seeing Arjun's face poke out of the small gap, looking at her crouched form on the bed constantly.

"Can I come in?" he asked her, not sure if she wanted to talk or not, but there was a certainty in him that even he could not deny that someday they would have talk, and sort everything out, all those grudges that have been growing inside them for the last20 years, they had to be eradicated someday. Aparna nodded silently, pulling the blanket to a side so that Arjun could sit on the bed, him dressed in ordinary casual wear, much to anyone's surprise, if they did not know he was in the military nobody could guess from his down to earth easy going personality that he belonged there.

"I was hoping we could talk." Arjun said after some while, when he thought Aparna has adjusted to his presence in the room as she nodded, another round of silence engulfing the two of them.

"I was hoping too. I do have quite a few things to say." She said timidly, suddenly feeling very shy to sit with him alone, let alone talk, it had been years when they last did that, maybe the memory of it much to her bitter disappointment was fading away.

"You go first."

"I have been meaning to tell you about Aryan and our break up." She said, taking a deep breathe before continuing, seeing sharp contour lines forming on Arjun's forehead but he sat quiet, listening to what she wanted to say.

"Khushi was ten. It was a winters night, a cold winters night when it all happened. Khushi was severely ill, that time and Aryan was out taking her medicines. In fact he had only returned two days ago before Khushi fell sick. Life before that had been good, pretty good, but when she turned six, I thought something was changing, something was changing between me and Aryan. He use to act aloof, distant, he wouldn't share his problems with me. When he used to come home, he used to be lost, mostly away on some work, but I never questioned because I trusted him enough,(her eyes meeting with Arjun for the first time) maybe that's why I was ready to forsake our friendship for him. But I was wrong to trust him, all these years he had been playing foul. That winters night, I found proof to all my suspicions, he was gone out to take medicines, but he had forgotten his mobile at the dinner table. It had been ringing for quite some while, but I didn't attend the call because he didn't like me doing that. However the phone kept ringing, and I thought it was important, moreover Khushi was getting irritated with it so I walked outside to pick it up, that is when I saw Rita's name flashing on the screen." Aparna said, her eyes flashing open and close, as if a number of horrid memories that she had been trying to forget were making her way into her head, sinking the soul in her which had little hope for life to go on.

"I wish I hadn't picked up that call. I so wish I hadn't. (scorning) That is I wish I wouldn't have done a lot of things, but that wasn't possible was it Arjun? (Arjun is silent) It had to come out someday, but my daughter was small, and I didn't know what to do. I received the call, and I heard her voice, Rita's voice, the same way it had been when I had first seen her with Aryan, the first day of college when you had gotten into a horrible fight with him and Anita, remember? (Arjun nods) It was a worried voice, much like my own, and she kept talking without knowing I was the one listening, she kept complaining about how Aryan hadn't come to meet her, how their son missed him, how..(Aparna's voice breaking) how she missed his touch on her." Aparna said now, doubling back in extreme pain, that emotional turmoil that he had been going through all these years, unleashing within her, causing her the worst kind of sorrow that existed. Arjun kept his hand comfortingly on her hand, her taking her time to get stable until she continued her story once again.

"I kept silent, because I had realized the truth finally. And you know what I was thinking when I disconnected the call, I was thinking about you. What you had told me about them, what you kept telling me. I was one the way of repentance, I was beginning to regret anything, I didn't want to listen to anything Aryan had to saw, because right on that moment, it seemed like I had chosen you over him. That is what I should have done in the first place, but alas, that cant be reversed and I cant do anything about it." She croaked now, giving in her level best to keep her voice steady but that had become a task impossible, and despite all her efforts tears had started falling down her eyes.

"After that everything had gone very quickly. My entire life had became a lie, the life of my daughter had become a nightmare, but I wasn't in a position to compromise. I had compromised my entire life for him, I had compromised my friendship for him and he had to give me in return was betrayal. Just betrayal. I filed a case for divorce in the court, and we were both ready for it, but the issue of Khushi's custody arise. Aryan wanted Khushi's custody. It was a long tiring process. To the court, to the lawyers , in and out everyday, but in the end I won, they gave me the benefit for being a mother and the child's more emotionally attached guardian." Aparna said, her voice now near to a whisper breathe constricting within her heart, tears streaming down her cheeks, as memories flooded into her mind in full speed.

"And Khushi? How was her relationship with Aryan?" Arjun asked, remembering the smiling face of the girl he had seen yesterday morning, and felt completely at ease with her as if he had known her for years.

"Just like every father-daughter relation is. She was her Daddy's princess. To be honest I think Khushi was the only thing that tied me and Aryan after marriage, because Aryan loved her way more than I had seen him loving anybody else. This whole thing, it was more hard on her, than it was on me. She didn't cry when it happened, she was silent, very unlike her, my Khushi loves to talk, but those days after all this happened she refused to talk to anybody, completely silent, like her life had shut down. She had always been a sober child, her entire concentration was on her studies, and you know Arjun, I find myself very lucky very to have a daughter like her. When I should have been the one supporting her and getting out of the trauma, she was the one instead holding my hand guiding me to a path of light. Trust me, it was all too hard for her to take, but she never let me know it was hard, (tears falling more furiously) she managed to keep a smile on her face all the time, there was a vacant look in her eyes that I couldn't replace and I hated myself for that. She doesn't like to cry, and if she does its only in front of people who she trusts, who she cares, she would hide her fears, hide her grief from me, cry to herself alone, and then sleep her self through it so every new day was not a living night mare then." Aparna said in a tiring, shattered tone, not knowing how many pieces her life had dissipated into, it was like a mess that she wouldn't be able to fix all her life.

"I met your daughter. She's lovely, and extremely brave too. You can tell that just by looking at her, just like her mother had always been. (Aparna smiles a watery smile) we met yesterday when I dropped all of them to school, she became immediately attached to me, or so I felt, like she knew I could be trusted." Arjun told her thoughtfully, remembering the easy going banter he had experienced the other day.

"After what life did to her, it's hard for her to lay her trust on anybody. She wouldn't be apprehensive in trusting you, I know that, because she knows you are my best friend, the person who guided me through good and bad, who gave me a reason to live. When all this happened, I lost reason to live. The day I married, I know it's hard for you to believe, and an unforgettable crime that I committed, but that day I lost a major reason to live. (her eyes locking with Arjun's) Every single day I would hope that maybe someday I would meet you and it would all be better, like it was, but somewhere it was clear, that while Aryan was in my life, I couldn't have you and it hurt, every single day it hurt. And it hurt more when Aryan left, because I lost another reason to live, and only Khushi is left now. If anything God forbids, happens to her, I won't be able to live anymore, I won't be able too." She said, taking deep forced breathe, her head down, holding Arjun's both hands into her, all her tears landing on the enclosed mounds of their hands. Arjun looked down bitterly at all the wounds that she had to go through, his heart seemed to crash within him hearing all her sorrow, her swollen face, had not lost the shine to it, but that glint it was gone, her eyes were devoid of any sparkle, any reason to live.

"Appy (Aparna's head immediately shoots upwards) it's never too late for anything. That's what the military has taught me, it's never too late to make things better. Time heals every wound, your wounds will heal too, we will heal it together, wont we?" He asked her, a small twinkling smile lighting up his features, as Aparna moved her eyes to and fro searching in him, that loyalty, the same fondness in his eyes, that best friend who she laid all her trust in, he was finally back, finally back.

"It's a big favour I am asking of you (Arjun looks at her narrow eyed) But can you forgive me, for what I did to you? For what I did to us? I remember seeing you, watching me downstairs from the window where we use to throw things at passer's by, seeing me wed the man you so despised. I wanted to look up then, but I thought I woudnt be able to look away if I did, is it too late to look up now?" She asked him, hope filled in her eyes, that distant light that told her that there is still lie a faint possibility that things could still get better, her emotions soaring high, when she saw small forgiving smile appear on Arjun's face.

"Every crime is forgivable, as long as the guilty understands their mistake." He said tenderly, that smile not fading from his face, when Aparna merrily collapsed, her back slackened, him pulling her into a close longing hug, the hug which had been haunting him from years, his longing had finally ended, his life was finally complete.

*******************************************************

Khushi sat on her bed, resting her back against the flimsy yellow parachute material of the tent. Everybody else had left for dinner, but she didn't feel like it, she was to exhausted to today anything, the day had been too tiring for her to gather anymore stamina for anything else. She adjusted her royal blue coloured spectacles on the nose, thinking of the ugly time she had trying to make the boys belive that she wasn't at fault. In fact she had been subjected to a dozens of humiliation for now cause, and it had turned her irrevocably very bitter, but thankfully Vivek and Arnav had stood by her like a stone wall, guiding her from everyone making it clear to them that none of it was her plan. Like Vivek had said most boys hadn't believed that she at fault in the first place, since nobody thought she was capable of putting up such mischief, and those who thought that she was, knew her too well and her decency to object. Surprisingly Purab was amongst those who were assured of her innocence, and though she wanted to give a small smile to him for that, a good harsh look from Arnav had told her that she was to do nothing of that sort.

While the whole blame game had been thrown at her by the girls, there were a handful of them like Vishaka and Priyanka, and the other girl from her tent, who testified for her innocence. That sigh of relief, and the smile that had etched up on Viveks face knowing Vishaka was not one of the betrayers was one that she would never be able to get out of sight, it just showed her all the more, what extents he was willing to cover for her. Those who had been haughty enough to march towards her and lay the blame on her, had their doubts cleared when Ms.Anita had taken all the blame for everything, the whole prank on herself instead of the girls, and relieved Khushi of the burden of it. But despite of everything turning out pretty much okay by the end, she still felt disgusted and angry, and maybe betrayed too, one of the things that she hated the most in her life. Moreover, she didn't want to to face Arnav again with that question it was getting to be a headache now, to hide the whole thing from him when she did not have any heart of doing anything of that sort.

Outside, the weather had turned surprisingly chilly, and all the students were dressed in warm fleece coats, the lucky ones who had been smart enough to predict the weather being the advantaged ones, while the others had to put up with the meager protective material. As they all waited for the dinner to be set, Arnav's eyes darted to and fro, from every single person, every single long in search of her, Khushi to be there sitting with one of them, his sight hanging loosely for a while on Vivek seeing him too only with Vishaka and no one else the protective, caring side of him raised, as he got up from the log he sat on, moving towards the girls camp.

Vivek saw him disappearing towards the tent, hoping nothing drastic would happen, because he knew where he was going, to Khushi. She had told him she wasn't in a mood to eat, and he hadn't dare insist, thinking she might she go unruly if he did so, so he had let it be, but Arnav was different, he pulled everything to the extreme, he just hoped everything would go well in between them. His instincts told him to intrude but he believed that he didn't want to do so, not because he had stopped caring, but because he thought that inevitable was to happen, he couldn't keep jumping in between the two of them forever.

Arnav proceeded towards the tents, his legs holding themselves glued to the ground for a single moment when he reached the front of her tent, but then he opened up the flap of it and stepped inside, only to find her crouched up on the top most bunk bed, deeply engrossed in the book. Sensing activity around her, she lifted her eyes off her book, the rim of her spectacles glowing in the meager lightening of the tent, as she saw Arnav's face half covered in shadows standing on the ground looking at her.