Chapter 11

"Ab tum theek ho?" (Feeling better?)

She nodded wordlessly, accepting the glass of water he had proffered to her and drank up the cool liquid, which gave her some dizzying relief. He waited until she had drained the glass till the last drop before he took it from her, placed it back on her night stand and started to leave.

"Humein maaf kardijiye." (I'm sorry.)

Arnav froze, frowning slightly. He turned around to look at her and she was staring hard at her hands that lay tense on her lap.

"Pata nahin humein kya ho jata hai," she went on as evenly as possible, but he heard the cracks in her voice. "Humein bas... aise hi, bina vajah gussa ajaata hai, aur hum aapse... Sorry." (I don't know what happens to me. I just... I get angry just like that, and I...)

He thinned his lips and looked away. What could he say? That he understood that only too perfectly? And if she asked why? What would he tell her? Was he ready to share his past with someone else?

"It doesn't matter," he finally replied. "It happens."

Khushi lifted her tearful eyes onto him, unwilling to understand. "No. It has not happened to me before. I was not like this! Aisa kyun hota hai?" (...Why does this happen?)

His eyes stared blindly outside the window as he debated on how to reply to that. He felt her eyes on him, making him uncomfortable, and after a silent while he heard a sharp intake of breath that sank his heart. He looked at her. Her eyes were round with shock, filled with realisation.

"You know."

It was not a question but a statement. Arnav sighed guiltily.

"Aap humaare baare mein jaante hain," she went on, her voice barely a whisper. "Aap issiliye yahaan aaye hain? Bataaiye, aap kyun aaye hain yahaan?" (You know about me. Is that why you came here? Tell me, why did you come here?)

The pain that cracked her voice made his hands clench into fists at his sides. "Kyunki main samjhta hoon. Main jaanta hoon ke kissi ke saath jab aisa hota hai to kya feel hota hai. And it's not right to be alone in such situations." (Because I understand. I know what it feels like when something like this happens to someone. ...)

"Lekin-" (But-)

"Tum thak gayi ho. Have some rest, hum baad mein baat karleinge." (You are tired. [...] we'll talk later.)

***

"Hey, Chamkili, tum ab kaisi ho? Are you feeling better?" (Hey, Chamkili, how are you now? ...)

She gave a tight smile to Adiilah and nodded.

"Oye!" Akaash jogged up to them. "Back on your feet, Happiness? Achha hai. Hum hide and seek khelne wale hain bacchon ke saath, tum bhi khelo." (...That's great. We are going to play hide and seek with the kids, come and play too.)

She opened her mouth to refuse but Adiilah bounced on her feet like an over-excited child in front of her. "Please, Khushi! Sab khel rahe hain, tum bhi chalo na, bohot maza aayega! Please!" (...Everyone is playing, you also come, it will be so fun! Please!)

Akaash also looked at her, pouting imploringly. Khushi smiled, a true amused smile this time and rolled her eyes. "Okay, fine. Lekin hum sab ek saath kaise khel sakte hain? Itne saare log hain, na?" (...But how will all of us play together? There are so many people, right?)

Laughing, Akaash draped an arm around her shoulders and dragged her to the large gazebo around which she could see all the children had gathered. "You'll see!"

***

"Kahaan phas gaya yaar?" she heard him mutter under his breath, causing a small smile to tug at her lips. A fair dozen of children stood before them, waiting impatiently. (Where did I get stuck?)

They had been broken into five groups which would comprise of two volunteers and twelve kids. Akaash and Hari were leading the team that would be seeking. The four other teams would go in one direction each and scatter all over the estate that enclosed the camp. The leaders would have to help find hiding places for the kids, after which they could hide. They would have an hour to hide, and when that time had elapsed, the Seeking team would segregate to look for them. Those who had not been caught by seven in the evening would be declared the winners.

Lavanya and Adiilah were to west, Manorama and Sejal south, Jenny and Imran north and finally, Arnav and Khushi east. To say that they had been taken aback when Lavanya had circled them in the same team was only too mild a word to use. Nonetheless, they had acquiesced without fussing and scattered at the signal. Now where to hide? Mr Arnav Singh Raizada was already looking like he would explode at any moment now while he kept glancing at his watch repeatedly. Taking a deep breath, Khushi decided to take things in hand.

"Chalo! Aap sab ke liye jaldi se koyi chhipne ki jagah dhoondte hain, theek hai?" (Come! We'll quickly find a hiding place for all of you, okay?)

The kids at once grinned eagerly whereas Arnav shot an almost thankful look at her.

***

"Thanks," he muttered when they had helped the last girl hide. " Main hota to... I don't know anything about these stupid games."

She gave him a small smile and looked around them before checking her watch. "We just have five minutes left, hum kahaan chhupein?" (...where will we hide?)

"Damn!" he grunted. "Zaroori hai?" (...Is it necessary?)

Khushi shrugged. "Ab khel hi rahe hain to..." (We are already playing so...)

"Fine. Come."

***

"We should be fine here," he whispered.

She bit her lip and hugged her knees to her chest as a cold breeze drifted in their hiding place. It had been rather genius of him to find this place. They were huddled side by side under the wooden bridge that ran over the pond in the far end of the property.

"Aapko kissne bataya?" she dared to ask. (Who told you?)

Arnav glanced at her. "Main Payal ki shaadi pe gaya tha. Mr Gupta told me then." (I was attending Payal's wedding.)

She nodded and turned her face away.

"It's not your fault. Why are you punishing yourself?"

With a snort of humourless laughter, she looked back at him. "What do you know?"

"I know how it feels, dammit!" he gritted out, suddenly frustrated. "I know, that's why I came here. Because I can help you."

Her eyes, glazed with tears, flared up. "I don't need your pity. I don't want anyone's help. And you don't know what I am feeling like! You don't know what it feels like to know that you are someone's illegitimate child!" Khushi was breathing hard by then. She paused to tear her eyes away from his darkening ones.

"I had been told I was an orphan. I had been told that my parents had died a few days after I was born and that had made me think that I was cursed. But it was just worse. After so many years spent thinking that I had killed my parents while entering this world, I was told the truth. That I was a child born, not just out of wedlock, but I was also the result of an extramarital affair or of a rape. Do you know how that feels like? Do you? You, Arnav Singh Raizada, the great business tycoon of India. What do you know?"

She immediately felt his hand grip her upper arm fiercely. Hissing, she tried to unlatch his fingers, but they seemed to be made of steel, and instead of slackening, they dug deeper in her skin. She looked up to meet with dark, hypnotising depths, filled with poison.

"You think I was born like this?" he snarled darkly. "Rich with a bright future and a business to inherit ahead? Well that's not the case, Khushi Kumaari Gupta. Everyone has a past and you don't have any right to judge anyone."

He watched her clench her jaws together tight, trying to appear strong and unaffected but her tears betrayed her. One of them splashed onto her cheeks. The needles of guilt bit into him mercilessly. Manhandling her like that had not been the right thing to do, even if she had touched his Achilles' heel. After all, she knew nothing about him and she was having some kind of depression. Arnav forced himself to calm down, without, however, relinquishing his hold on her.

"Let me help you, Khushi. It's not pity. You need help."

"I told you I don't need any help," came her whispered answer. "Meeting new people and looking after the children here is making me feel better, you can return to where you had come from from."

He tilted his head, glaring at her. "Trust me, if this environment was helping enough you would not be getting these episodes of uncontrollable anger." She shifted uncomfortably. "You cannot build new relationships when you are not at peace with yourself. Let me help you."