Chapter 4

ShikhaKhushi

@ShikhaKhushi

Humourless maniacal laughter rose in her panicking body but she tamped it down. Find herself? She would never ever be able to find herself. Why? Simple because she had never existed!

Khushi.

That was the name written on her birth certificate. Just Khushi. No surname. No father's name. Her mother's name had been faked. Maybe an orphan could be better than her. She was a nobody. Non-existant. But a burden to heavy for anyone to carry...

How could she expect to find herself?

***

"Are you sure?" he hissed into the phone, finally tearing his eyes off her.

"Yes, Sir."

Arnav ground his teeth together. "Fine. Thank you Aman."

No surname? No father's name? Her mother did not exist in any of the state's files? What could that mean? Did Shashi even know about all this?

He lifted his calculative gaze off the steering wheel to scan the street for her again but she was no longer there.

"What the f-?"

He had not paid attention for barely one minute dammit! How could that girl already have disappeared?

***

"Tumhre Amma-Bauji... abhi tak jinda hain, Titaliya..." (Your parents... are still alive, Titaliya...)

The words echoed deafeningly within the emptied walls of her skull. She felt so empty, so emotionless... All her life she had been made to believe she was an orphan. Turned out she was only worse. Unwanted. By everyone.

Khushi.

Why was that even her name? Khushi. It meant happiness. But had she ever made anyone happy in her whole existence? How could she have, when she had never felt that herself?

Khushi.

Why was her life not in her own hands? She would have erased it. She would have erased herself off the equation. There would be no burden then, no complications, no obligations...

And then, suddenly, she felt herself being hauled violently into more emptiness...

***

He glared down at her with more worry than the anger he was radiating. Had she lost it? Had she gone blind? What the hell was doing in the middle of the road? And no road in Mumbai was not busy, she should have known that!

Or maybe she did...

He watched as she clutched her head fiercely. He had noticed how blank her eyes were while she desperately tried to shake herself out of it. There was a void deep inside her. something he had never seen at the office before.

Who was she?

***

Who was she?

The question popped absently in her head as she steadied herself, gradually feeling the arms holding her tight. It had not been emptiness, after all. She blinked several times. Yes, Khushi. She was Khushi. Khushi who?

She lifted her hooded gaze to her person who held her, but the attack had already begun.

"What the f**k is wrong with you?"

She felt herself frown slightly. She knew that voice. Her vision took some time to clear and when it did, her eyes went wide. Arnav Singh Raizada? Was this her mind playing pranks on her or was it really him? Of course it was, those burning eyes belonged to no other. He firmly shook her out of her trance.

"Khushi? What happened?"

Her movements were slowed when she tried to free her shoulders from his large hands, making her feel as if she were underwater. "Hum theek hain," she heard herself whisper.

***

He'd be damned if she really was okay, because she was definitely not okay. He had followed her the whole night dammit, the whole freaking night. She had always appeared to be thinking. She seemed lost. Yes, he had lost her from his sight for a couple of minutes, but when he had found her again, she looked completely spaced out.

She was walking right in the middle of the main road, for crying out loud! And she didn't seem to even realise that? How could she not?

He let her take a few steps back. And she stumbled, her eyes quite unfocused. Was she on drugs? Was she drunk? Of course not, he had kept vigil on her the whole time. She hadn't even stopped walking for a second, costing him a lot of time to switch parking spots to be able to watch her well. Like he had no other work to do?

He scowled down at her, intending well to scold her properly for her absent-mindedness but the it hit him. What if he had pushed her beyond her limits at work? She looked frail enough to be blown off by the wind. Maybe she was just tired.

Arnav saw her glance at him uncomfortably. "Tum theek ho?" (Are you okay?)

She nodded tersely. "Aap yahaan kya...?" she squeaked in a tiny voice but he had already grabbed her upper arm and started dragging her to his car. (What are you...?)

***

Khushi sat in the apartment, darkness shrouding around her. What had happened to her? earlier in those streets? She barely remembered anything...

Well apart from the fact that Arnav Singh Raizada had reached there at some point and brought her back home... How had he known she was there? He had never told her that. She shivered before walking to her bedroom. All she needed was a hot shower and a good night's sleep. Then, she'd be fine tomorrow.

***

"So? What are you wearing to party?" Antara burst into her cabin during lunch hour.

Khushi looked up with a confused pout. "Party? What party?"

"The Raizada's 5^th Anniversary Party, Khushi!"

"Hum nahin aayeinge!" she shook her head immediately and ducked it to read the documents on her table. (I'm not coming!)

Antara sighed. This girl had a serious problem. How could she remain under so much work for so long? Either the boss was rubbing onto her and giving her those workaholic-tendencies or she was a natural nerd.

"Break the shell off you, Khushi! You have to come! ASR's strict orders!"

Khushi raised her head with a pitiful sulk.