Chapter 8

Barbados, Thursday 2^nd August 2012

Recognising Sean Marshall was a cinch. The man was as handsome in real life as he was in the photographs. Although considerably older than the photos, the intensity of the blue eyes, the sun-kissed tan, the broad shoulders, the height and the cheery smile were all still the same.

"Sean right?"

"Sure am! Khushi?"

She nodded and smiled gently,

"Come 'ere, gimme a hug, welcome to Barbados!"

He enveloped her in a friendly embrace and any insecurities that Khushi had seemed to evaporate. She had been toying with her decision about trusting a man across the world so easily and jumping into a plane but whatever inhibitions she had were put to rest in that embrace. He handed a beautiful bunch of tropical blooms in the brightest of colours. Khushi looked at him questioningly, "Back in my university days your husband and I were very good friends, as good a friend as you can be with an ASR and so I know him well. You married him. Flowers is the least I could do for you." She laughed a whole hearted laugh. If Sean decided he liked her after reading the report by the PI, he liked her even more after meeting her. For a woman that had been in the pits of hell for the better part of the year, she maintained a very sunny disposition and dignified grace. Even in his ignorance, his friend had made a great choice.

"So where is he," she asked a little apprehensively after he loaded her case into the trunk of his BMW M5.

"Whats the rush Khushi? He has hardly tried to lift a finger to contact you."

"I know. But he hates me. So while in his hate he is completely justified in not contacting me, in my love I cannot wait to see him."

"Great, what is it with Indian women…its that easy for you to forgive and forget?"

"Who said anything about forgiving and forgetting. I merely said I wanted to see him. Not that I wanted to show myself to him. And, Mr. Marshall, I know you have a fair knowledge of the language, but of the legends of Indian mythology and culture?"

"I don't get what you mean?"

"The goddess Durga, what do you know about her?"

"The usual. Lots of hands, an extra eye, rides a lion and kills a monster and had a formidable temper?"

"All true yes. But did you know, that she is also the very loving wife of Shiva?"

"The blue guy with the massive temper?"

"The very same."

Sean Marshall broke into a massive grin and turned to his passenger, "Welcome to Barbados Durga!"'

***

She watched a lone figure sitting on the deserted side of a lively beach. Isolated. Shoulders hunched over staring out into the abyss of the ocean. She felt her lungs constrict and had to gulp a few mouthfuls of air. Her search had finally come to an end. A search that had consumed her entirely for the last 2 months. A search that went far beyond seeking out the physical whereabouts of her husband.

She watch as he stirred suddenly and jerked his head in her direction as if searching for someone. He shook his head and turned back to the oblivion of the ocean.

"Let's go" She spoke softly, surely.

Sean quietly turned the ignition. Greatful for her decision for he was starting to feel like an outsider, intruding on a very intimate moment. He realised the strength that this woman harboured in her very young heart was something quite special. He watched in silence as a million emotions had flittered through her eyes as she watched him. He watched as she had lost her breath literally and had floundered to breathe again as she had spotted him sitting lonesome on the beach. He had watched as she had swallowed back a torrent of tears and put back a quiet resolve and asked him to take her away.

***

Arnav Raichand had walked for miles that morning searching to find that Arnav Singh Raizada within him. The man with the resolve to make even God bow at his feet. Instead he found nothing more than self loathing and self pity. He had reached a quiet expanse of the long stretch of the beach and had collapsed. He stared into that point where the horizon where one shade of blue faded into another. A point of oblivion.

He remembered her words, words spoken in what felt to him like another lifetime, "paison se badh kar bhi kuch hoti hai, aur jis din aapko yeh ehsaas hogi, hum woha nahi honge." Today he realised that he had acquired his true wealth quite by accident when she had tumbled into his arms all those months ago. If only he had realised this back then and never let go.

For the last 3 days he had tried to call her phone at least a million times, but each time the same recorded message played back. He had even given up and called Shantivan and had ordered Kai to ask for Khushi. He was told that no one with that name lived there anymore.

"Khushi…" he whispered into the breeze "I am so sorry..." Hoping against all hope that she would somehow magically appear into his life again. The responding breeze send a shiver through him, a familiar chill that made him jerk his head towards the other side of the beach. For a second, he could swear he felt her presence and he sought out that familiar face in the distant crowd. Yet the absurdity of his thoughts sunk in and he turned his head back to that point of oblivion at the horizon.

Barbados, Friday 3^rd August 2012

Seeing him in good health had settled her heart. Now it was the minds turn. And the mind would not be pacified with just a glance. It needed more. She had had enough time on the plane to think this through and was very sure of what she wanted.

Khushi made herself a cup of tea and settled onto the balcony of the beachfront studio. A holiday rental owned by none other than her own husband. Sean was the property manager and hence had the keys. The jetlag had hit the moment she had stepped out of the shower and had fallen into a dreamless sleep.

She stood and walked towards the railing and stretched her arms out arching her back, feeling all her muscles awaken. She hadn't slept this well in as far as she could remember. Last night there had been no worries, no questions about the whereabouts and safety of her husband and most importantly her heart was pacified.

Today was the minds turn.

***

"My my, isn't this a sight, the mighty Arnav Singh Raizada running away from his problems." She spoke quietly but surely. Khushi had known somehow where to find him. She had walked the length of the beach and found him again sitting in solitude on the lonely side. The only light provided by the moon.

He stirred with her voice. He hadn't even heard her approaching and had ignored that familiar chill of her presence, dismissing it as a cruel trick of the mind. Her voice however he couldn't mistake, although the diction and eloquence of the English language it spoke in was quite alien to him. He looked up and nearly fell back as he fumbled to stand in the sand.

"Khushi…" a hoarse whisper escaped his throat as rushed to take her in his arms. He enveloped her in a tight embrace vowing to himself to never let go now that he had held her.

Khushi stood paralysed in his arms. She had expected emotion from him, but not of this kind. Her arms rose of their own accord to respond to the embrace, but she stopped herself as she remembered the last time her arms had embraced him. He had stood unfeeling and unresponsive, at a time when she needed support and a shoulder to cry on while her father had lay in a hospital bed. Her hands fisted in the air, unable to bridge that small distance between them.

Arnav felt her body go tense and had waited for it to relax in his hold but it didn't. He waited for her to encircle him in her arms, but he didn't. Instead he realised with a sinking heart that she grew more tense. He slowly stepped back, releasing his hold on her, but in the next instant stepped forward again, cupping her face in his hands.

"Khushi, tum…tum," words were failing him as he tried to verbalise the depth of emotion and sheer relief he felt at seeing her. In the end all he could muster was "tum theek to ho na?"

"Theek? You are asking me if I am theek?" the pitch of her voice was slowly climbing as she felt the anger rise, "Since when do you care if I am theek or not?"

"Aise mat kaho Khushi, I always cared. Perhaps I cared too much and that was the problem, because I never knew how to show it! But I always cared. You knew that."

"Don't mess with Raizada. I have had to here with you. You care about no one but yourself. A more self obsessed, self centred man I have yet to encounter. To think I had loved you. I loved you enough to marry you despite the six month clause, because I loved you. Had you that day asked for my life on a platter I would have handed it over to you. Don't you dare tell me YOU cared. Because you never did" She punched the air with her index finger as she let out her angst.

"I know Khushi and I am so sorry. I just found out, the private investigator…" he tried to explain but she cut him off,

"you know what hurts Arnavji, you needed the words of a private investigator to believe what I tried to tell you from the very beginning. You chose to believe Shyam even before me. Even your friend Sean, who by the way is the reason I found you, felt something was amiss and decided to give me the benefit of the doubt before judging. He didn't even know me. You did. When you love someone, you trust them. Without trust, there is no love. I trusted you with my heart and soul when I married you that day and that's how I know my love was real. Yours, never was."

"Khushi I was wrong, I know that. But please believe me when I say I love you and I would do anything for you. I have been waiting here for you to find me. I knew you would. That day on Akash's wedding I saw you and Shyam on the roof hugging and I got really hurt and angry because I was coming to tell you how much I loved you and I lost it. I reacted in the worst way. I do that when I am mad." Arnav looked into her beautiful face, flooded by the glorious moonlight. She was glowing, he tried to memorise her every feature.

A ray of hope filled him as he took in her slender finger, "You came for me Khushi. We can start again. I will do anything. You searched for me and you found me."

"I searched for yes, I came for you yes and I am glad I finally found you." A lump formed in her throat. She knew what she had to do, but that didn't mean it was any easier for her to see him suffer, to see her formidable husband flounder with a lost look in his eyes. She was used to her Arnav screaming and ordering her about.

"I wanted to find you because six months is up"

"Six months?"

"You said you would do anything?"

"Anything. You just have to ask."

"I want a divorce."

Arnav felt a wave of shock hit him. He suddenly couldn't breathe as he comprehended her demand, he searched desperately for some emotion in her eyes but could find none. Her eyes were glassy.

"Div..divorce?" it was barely audible.

"Yes Arnavji. Six months are over. I stuck by the deal. Now its your turn."

"But you said you love me."

"Loved. I loved you… and perhaps that's something that doesn't go away easily, but I am hurt. Hell I am hurt and I am angry. I am REALLY ANGRY. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT ITS BEEN LIKE THESE LAST TWO MONTHS. I HAVE BEEN TO HELL AND BACK TRYING TO FIND YOU WHILE YOU SIT HER ON A BEACH TEACHING SCUBA DIVING? DO YOU REALISE HOW ANGRY THAT MAKES ME? I AM MAD AS HELL AND I WANT A DIVORCE."

Finally the dams had broken. She made a lunge towards him and pushed on his chest, "YOU ARE A SELFISH MAN. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW WORRIED YOUR FAMILY IS. THEY THINK YOU DIED. YOU SAY YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR DI, WHAT NOW MR ARNAV SINGH RAIZADA, YOU LEFT HER ALONE WITH THAT FILTHY POND SCUM RATBAG SHYAM. HOW ARE YOU ANY DIFFERENT TO HIM?"

Arnav couldn't help by smile a little at her reaction, he was expecting this. She punched his chest and clutched his collars and continued her tirade, "DON'T YOU SMILE AT ME. DON'T YOU DARE. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU. I AM GOING TO SEND YOU THE PAPERS IN THE MORNING AND YOU WILL SIGN. DO YOU HEAR ME?"

"Khushi, ssshhh" he gripped her wrist gently as she let go of her grip on his shoulders. He slowly wound her arms around her back bring his hands to rest on her waist. She pushed him back with a jerk fighting back tears.

"Do you remember I told you once that money can't buy you happiness? And your destiny is written by Devi-Maiyya? Do you remember your response Arnav ji? That you write your own destiny?" Her eyes were blazing with a fierce passion, he nodded in silent agreement.

"Well you have written your destiny Arnavji, and you wrote me out of it. But don't worry, you still have all the money in the world. Go buy your happiness. The papers will be delivered to your house in the morning. Please have them returned to me via Sean. And call your family and tell them you are alive and well. They have spent too long worrying about you."

With that said she turned to walk away. He stood rooted to the spot.