4. Maafinama (apologies)

5 days ago

manjiri

@m4manju

Originally published on 12 Sept 2023

About this scene: During the "era" of Arnav using denial as a defense, he bumps into khushi, and his important work documents get scattered. He finds Khushi's engagement ring, unaware of what that ring signifies. He then demands an apology from her in return of the ring. She resists at first and then relents on Buaji's persistence. However, as she starts saying a teary apology, the great wall of China-err-ASR feels tremors! (S4 episode 7 on Hulu/Hotstar, epi 124 otherwise)

I've added a present day/CSD scene at the end of this chapter. Those of you who just want to savor the angst, please skip the end.

Click here to watch ArShi scene

--~--

Sorry was a word that held only one-sided meaning for Arnav Singh Raizada. Only to receive it from the other person. With his impeccable sense in business and his shrewd ways, he always made his opponents drop to their knees and apologize to him, no matter who was at fault - well -ASR never made mistakes!

However, never had anyone's apology gave him so much thrill, so much pride as that being extracted from this one person. Khushi.

Getting her to say sorry to him was winning a thing unattainable. A prize to boast about!

Getting her to say sorry to him was earning a part of her that solely belonged to him!

Getting her to say sorry to him was getting a place in her heart important enough to make her bend to him and beg to him for a forgiveness that already was bestowed upon her...his every damn thought was centered around her. But she was in oblivion, and he was in denial...

.

.

It all began with him colliding with her, lost in his thoughts(which were about her only) and then his "important" work documents getting scattered (documents which could have been shredded for all he cared, he had a soft copy of those anyway). And then he blamed her for causing that accident. She, of course, refused with clear words, "I will apologize to anyone, except YOU!" The mighty (and stupid!) Khushi Kumari Gupta, Arnav thought in his mind and sneered at her.

And then, as if his strong will worked in favor of him and he found her ring. He didn't pay much attention to what that ring could be, he only knew he could use it as bait to demand her to say sorry to him.

And when she appeared in his room as he expected, Arnav smirked at his imminent win.

.

.

Khushi had gone through a period of so many turbulent acceptances and denials of her feelings for this one man- Arnav the laad governor! - that she now had decided to being indifferent to him. Neither hate, nor love, not even being neutral, she just wanted to ignore him. He needed to be just another person for her like 7 billion others on the Earth. And she knew he too wanted the same for her.

However, she sometimes felt as if he was messed up in his head, as if he couldn't decide what exactly he wanted to do with her and more importantly with himself. Devi maiyya alone knows how he ran such a huge business. Maybe it was all a sham, maybe his staff and his assistant Amanji did it for him and he only sat at the CEO chair like those politicians did. She mused and had a faint smile at that thought.

Anyhow. That wasn't the current issue. Right now, she needed to get her ring back which he had seized. It was funny how he boasted of being rich, yet he had been greedy to get her ring. However, she also knew he was doing this mostly to provoke her...

.

.

"Give me my ring back." she demanded with a straight face.

Finally. Arnav had her where he wanted her(almost!), "I'd have, had you not talked to me arrogantly." he replied and revised what she had said to him. "What did you say? You will apologize to anyone except me? So, now if you want thing ring back, say sorry." he calmly put forward the condition.

"Why would I say sorry? It was all your fault. You bumped into me, so you have to apologize." She explained logic to an ASR who was beyond logic when it came to her.

"I won't. And now hearing your stupidity, I am even more enraged. So, now you won't just apologize but also hold your ears while doing so." came an illogical mind's demand!

She looked at him, aghast. How dare he! She was beyond angry now and was forming a sentence in her head to tell him that if he needed quick money, he should go to his family instead of stealing from her. But probably he sensed her next sentence and her thoughts, because she heard him say,

"The ring holds no importance for me, but it does for you." he said in an insulting tone.

She stood there, dumbstruck. Confused whether to beat him up with her sandal for his audacity or throw that ring on his face. After all, she herself held no sentiments for that ring, neither the person-Shyamji- who had made her wear it...

"I am waiting." he said, after waiting for her apology for another 30 seconds! He knew she wouldn't back down. And he was very eager to see what next defense she would come up with. It was a strange thrill he was getting addicted to. But he wouldn't know the real thrill AND benefits of it until he married this same girl-for the right reasons- a few months later and then they both had these intense-illogical-passionate fights in their bedroom!

But that was not the scene right now. Right now, he had tested her patience. And Khushi Kumari Gupta had had enough!

"Then keep waiting. This ring might be costly but not more than my self-respect. I won't apologize when I didn't make a mistake. Keep the ring." She royally insulted him and left from there, leaving a shocked and angry Arnav behind.

--~--

Khushi had felt happy at the way she refused to bow down to ASR. But her happiness lasted only a few minutes. She soon received a call from Buaji asking her if she found the ring and after hearing she didn't, Buaji wasted no time in reminding her how much that ring and thus, her engagement with Shyamji held importance for their family, for her babuji's treatment and Khushi's weak point was touched. She had no other option but to go to that Rakshas Arnav Singh Raizada and get her ring back.

.

.

Arnav was livid when Khushi had left from there without giving a heed to his demand. 'Damn her and damn her ring' saying so in his mind, he barely lifted the piece of jewelry to throw it away, when his eyes found the object of his irritation (and everything else) standing in front of him.

He hated how she looked at that ring with a longing. If only he knew, it wasn't just any ordinary ring but her engagement ring, he would have given a stronger reaction than just a scowl on his (pretty) face!

"What do you want?" She asked and Arnav noticed she looked very vulnerable right now. Gone was the fierce attitude on her face.

"You already know what I want." he said, ignoring the sinking feeling in his heart seeing her like that.

Khushi gulped, and closed her eyes momentarily, summoning some strength. She had to sacrifice her self-respect for the sake of her family's pride. They had given her shelter when she had no one, so it was her duty to repay their debt this way...

Arnav held his breath as Khushi slowly raised her left arm to her ear. As she was surrendering, Arnav felt defeat instead of victory.

"Sorry." she said, and a sharp stab was felt by ASR!

He knew that instant that he had made a stupid, stupid mistake. But he himself didn't know why he always liked to do this to her...annoy her, pester her, and then eventually have it all boomerang on himself. He wouldn't know the reason for that for a few more months, when he almost lost her on that cliff...the reason which this day's ASR would never have accepted...the reason being his heart no longer beat for him, it was beating for her... so any hurt, any insult to her was bound to have a huge blow on him.

"How many times do I have to say?" she asked, a tear drop trickled down her cheek, killing Arnav some more. But she was not done being merciless, after all, she was competing with him in this department, so she said again, "sorry."

And Arnav got up at once. He couldn't watch her do that anymore.

Slowly holding her hand, he put the ring on her palm.

And then something stirred in his heart. He was not ready to let go of her just yet.

So, taking her hand, he caressed her ring finger and started to put the ring there...

And instantly she pulled her hand away. As if scalded by his touch.

His jaw tightened in anger and as he got ready to blast at her, her next sentence delivered the most brutal blow Arnav Singh Raizada had ever felt in his adult life. A moment which later gave him nightmares. Even after having her as his, many months later, this moment was vicious enough to scar him for life!

Because the next thing she said was, "You can't make me wear this ring. It is my engagement ring."

A stunned silence, followed by that ring slipping from his hand was all he remembered. He had dropped the ring as if that object were a weapon set to take his life. Who knows, it perhaps was...

Because that ring was not any ordinary ring, it was a ring that sealed his fate, that she no longer was unclaimed, that she was taken, that there existed a man who had staked a claim on her.

And Arnav Singh Raizada felt terrified. Lost. Defeated. Traumatized...

--~--

Present day (11 years since that incident)/CSD glimpse:

"You won't get this back until you apologize." Mrs. Khushi Arnav Singh Raizada dangled Arnav's wallet in front him, in what was supposed to be playful banter in their life.

Instead, it stirred a long-suppressed traumatizing memory for Arnav, one that reminded him of his unruly rude behavior to her during their interesting 'courtship' period, one that nearly killed him at the chance of losing her to another man.

"Sorry." he instantly said, and Khushi gasped in surprise. She had not expected him to say it, at least not so soon. He was known for his fighting spirit as was she and their playful fights often had enough back and forth before one backed down. Often, she and sometimes he- well- when Khushi used seduction as a tool, ASR stood no chance to win anything, let alone an argument! But currently, she hadn't done anything. Heck, she had not even battled her eyelashes or pouted her lips yet which made him do things.

Something was definitely wrong with her laad governor.

"Arnavji." she whispered, trying to understand what was going through his mind.

"Sorry." He repeated and held his ear with his mobile-held hand, eyes misty, face showing regret over the hurt he had caused back then.

"Arnavji, hum toh bass mazak kar(I was only kidding)-" Khushi stepped closer to him.

"Sorry. I'm really sorry khushi." he ignored her and continued saying sorry just like she did all those years ago, stabbing his heart. And today, the same stab was felt by her, as she too remembered that long forgotten moment in their life. Contrary to him, that moment was not as harsh for her -she had her own set of such moments, like when he announced engagement with Lavanyaji- but he was revisiting his near-death...

"Sorr-" he said the word about the fourth time, and she clasped her palm over his mouth. Her eyes filled with tears, and they soon made their way over her pink-hued cheeks... she shook her head in denial, telling him, requesting him to stop. Stop hurting himself and in a way to her. Although his intention was to reduce her pain from having hurt her all those times. It was a weird math. But then again when you have an Arnav and a Khushi, the math is always complex!

The thing he was asking forgiveness for -both today's trivial matter and the one from years ago-were nonimportant to her. In fact, those things made them who they were, how strong their love was to pass through all these tests... And she was thankful to devi maiyya that they found their way to each other. Because she knew she was made for him, as he was for her!

"Khushi, main(I)-" Arnav began but then didn't know how exactly to complete that sentence, saying -'I love you'- or -'I am sorry'- or -'I can't live without you, ever'- so he took a pause.

Soon, he felt her soft lips touch his cheek, followed by her fingers wiping the teardrops there.

"Hum jaante hai (I know)." she said in that soothing, comforting voice she reserved for him. It didn't require any more words, neither from him nor her, she conveyed she understood what his heart was saying to hers. Like always.

In return, overwhelmed with love for his Khushi, Arnav kissed her forehead, telling her how grateful he was to have her, forever!!!

--~--

A/N - Quite a long chapter, huh? This series has always been a challenge even when I first wrote it for ross-rachel, years ago but I quite enjoy writing it. The idea was to relive their love-story in retrospect and decode what would their thoughts be during the time when they wished to be with each other before it actually happened. Please do share your reviews and any such moments from the show that you feel can be fit here. Also, don't forget to vote. Silent readers, pls show your support.

I will add present day/CSD scenes to the previous 3 parts too, soon. Do keep a tab :)