Chapter 3

Pearl_Oyster

@Pearl_Oyster

Part 3

"Jiji, please try to understand. It's important for us to carry on with this facade. I cannot bear his mood shifts anymore! He needs to decide for once and all whether he feels anything for me or not! I can't spend all my life waiting for him to say something, anything! At times, he treats me like I am the sole center of his attention and at times, I cease to exist! At times, he pulls me close and at times he pushes me away!

I am tired of this confusion, Jeeji! Either he should accept me or let me go!" Khushi finished speaking and by this time her throat was choked up with emotions.

"Sshh. It's okay, Khushi. My intention was not to hurt you. I was just trying to say that Arnav too is getting very hurt with this. Maybe, this is not the best way of getting your answers. Wouldn't it have been easier if you had asked him directly?" Payal suggested, this time in a more careful manner.

"Ask him directly? You think he would have answered, Jeeji? Once I asked him why did he keep my 'paayal'. Did you know what he said? He told me that none of these things matter to him. He even went as far as to tell me that it was my design to leave the paayal at his place. He said I must be feeling giddy after knowing that he has my paayal and I have succeeded in entrapping a rich guy like him" As Khushi recounted the harsh words said by him on the Diwali night, tears finally rolled down her eyes.

Sometimes, it was really difficult to tell if he meant everything he said.

"Jeeji, he will never express his true feelings to anyone. Not even to himself. So, this thing that Akashji and I are doing, it might be wrong, it might be unfair, but this is the only way" Khushi said.

"Fine, Khushi. If that's what you want, then so be it. But please don't stretch this too far. Relationships, when strained beyond a limit, break. Just be careful not to hurt him or yourself in the process".

***

Arnav was still awake in his room, thoughts churning into his head, leaving him no peace of mind or sleep.

The Diwali night was flashing in his mind. It was a night that had haunted him for days, nights and weeks.

It was the night when he had let his heart take over his brain. It was the night when he had been so close to Khushi, seconds away from doing something he struggled against every day.

That night, having lost to his senses, he had almost kissed her. He wondered if things today would have been different had he gone ahead!

Damn Aman for ruining probably the most crucial moment of his life!

And today?

Today Khushi shared his right with someone else! How could she? Did that moment mean nothing to her?

Or had his senseless words left an imprint on her tender heart?

Whatever the reason!

He can no longer stand like a dumb spectator when she was being snatched away from his life!

"I am sorry, Akash! I can't let you claim what is mine."

He had already tried taking the noble road for this past week. He had watched in silence as Khushi had drifted away from him. Heck! He had even let her.

But no more!

***

It was about midnight and the Gupta house was sleeping peacefully when there were loud bangings at the front door.

"Hai re Nandkishor! Who is this scoundrel trying to break the doors to our house at this ungodly hour?" Buaji's voice was laced with anger mixed frustation as she walked towards the door.

"ARNAV BABUA?" Buaji widened her eyes as she found Arnav at the door.

"What is going on, Arnav Babua? How come you came here so late?'"

Arnav ignored her question and entered inside the house.

Before Buaji could shoot another question, he was already heading towards Khushi's room.

Khushi and Payal were already awakened by the loud noise, and just as he reached the door to Khushi's room, the door opened up, revealing shocked faces of Khushi and Payal.

"Payal, will you please excuse us for some time. I need to urgently talk to her" Arnav addressed Payal directly, who blinked dumbly and then nodded her head, while Khushi only gaped at him.

She watched in nervousness as Payal stepped out of the room.

Arnav closed the door after her and then locked it, dimming the sound of Buaji's shower of questions directed at Payal.

"What nonsense is this, Arnav ji? What are you doing here? Why are you locking the door?" Khushi's voice gave away the panic she felt.

Arnav did not answer anything, Isntead started taking quick steps towards her, in response making her step back.

She kept backing away from him until she reached the end of the small room and found her back plastered against the wall.

Arnav, on the other hand, kept advancing and stopped only when he was barely a foot away from her.

He stared hard into her eyes, making Khushi gulp.

"Hey Devi Maiya, help me! What in hell did Akashji tell him about our fake date? Why does he look so angry?" Khushi squeezed her eyes shut and prayed to her Devi Maiya.

She still did not open her eyes and felt Arnav draw closer.

She felt his breath against her face, and her eyes flew open.

He was so so so close!

Khushi found her heart hammering wildly - the loud Dhak Dhak reverberating in her head.

She clutched the ends of her kurta and spoke hastily.

"What are you doing, Arnav ji? Please step back. Let me go" She tried to move but he stood like a rock before her, unmoving.

"You kissed Akash?" The words were like ice, cold to the core and they had the same freezing effect on Khushi as they had on Arnav.

Kiss? What did Akashji tell him?

As she stood mutely, still nervous and shaky, Arnav leaned further into her. His chest was now all but brushing against her heaving bosoms.

Khushi tried to ignore the effect of his proximity on her body and made an attempt to get away from him.

Using her hands, she tried to push him away but he barely moved. Now feeling frustrated and angered by his attitude, Khushi looked at him with her own shooting eyes.

"Yes, I did" The words were like stones being pelted at his heart.

But Khushi went on!

"Yes, I kissed him! What does it matter to you? I love him. And this is our personal matter. Stop poking your nose into my life" Khushi hissed.

The words were enough to push Arnav over the edge.

He grabbed her by her shoulders.

"You love him? Is that your explanation? Love? So, if I say I love you, does that give me the right to kiss you?" Arnav didn't even know what he was saying anymore.

"You love me?" Khushi asked, unable to believe that he just said the words in such a stupid way.

Hearing her question, Arnav realized the slip of his tongue. He cursed himself.

"That's not the point! The point is that you let Akash near you. You let him kiss you! How could you do that? But, why am I even surprised? Girls like you are expert in ensnaring rich guys! In fact, I am bloody sure that you don't love my brother. You love his money" Arnav spat nonsense at her, grabbing at straws to counter the fact that he had just said that he loved her. He needed to say something, anything, to take her mind off that declaration.

But, Khushi Kumari Gupta could see transparently through his desperate attempts. He wasn't doing this for the first time with her. Every time he remotely said or did something that would express his love for her, he would compensate for that by being extra mean to her.

But, by now, Khushi had learnt her lesson well. This time, she was going to give him a taste of his own medicine.

"Oh really? So, you think that I am after your brother's money? Come on, Mr. Raizada! You could have done better than that. We both know that out of the two of us who judges people by their bank balance. I care more about people's values and emotions and even you know that well enough. Maybe that's the reason why you're so jealous of your brother's happiness. You cannot stand that Akash ji has gotten something that you could not. Didn't you try to kiss me on that Diwali night, Arnav ji? Huh? What did that mean? Obviously, it meant nothing! I remember you telling me that none of these things matter to you. That I don't matter to you. So, what's the problem now? Why come all the way to my house at the middle of the night if I don't matter to you? Brotherly concern, is it? Or is it something more than that which you don't want to admit?" Khushi finished, her breaths heavy after speaking at length.

Arnav stood stunned, unable to decide what to say.

It was as if Khushi had seen through all his attempts of hiding his feelings and bared his heart out for everyone to see.

He felt exposed, vulnerable. And the fact that she knew all of this, yet claimed to love Akash only worsened what he felt.

"I don't know what you're saying" He said in a hard voice, taking a step back.

Seeing his continuous denial, Khushi felt like hitting something, anything.

"Then leave! There's nothing left that I want to say to you now" She said coldly, feeling angered that nothing would make him speak out his heart. What was his problem?

"What?" Arnav stared at her, enraged that she was dismissing him.

"You heard me, Mr. Raizada. Go away! If there's nothing that you want to say and there is nothing that I want to say, it's better that you leave" She replied, daring him one last time to speak.

Arnav's eyes flashed and in a second he grabbed her again by her upper arms.

"Yes, you're right, Khushi Kumari Gupta. There is nothing that I want to SAY to you. Instead, I want to DO this" He said and before Khushi could see it coming, Arnav's lips crashed upon hers.

His one hand wrapped firmly around her waist, and the other one roamed through her hair.

Khushi had to remind herself to breathe, as his lips coerced her to open for him.

He groaned in satisfaction when he realized that her own hands were now running through his hair.

He could feel her knees wobbling, and it was his hands that held her weight.

He used his tongue to flick her lower lip, and her moan was lost in his mouth.

As he kept making love to her lips, he realized that Khushi had never stopped him from approaching her.

In fact, she had never felt discomforted by his words, his stares, or his touches.

She had always been receptive to his proximity.

And he? He had always loved to be around her.

Just like now!

This felt so right.

"Arnavji, stop" Khushi suddenly whispered, and Arnav stilled.

Was she going to say that this was wrong?

He stopped and searched her face.

Her cheeks were flushed with colour, and her lips looked raw.

He could kiss those lips for a lifetime.

"What are you doing to me?" Khushi asked, and Arnav noticed that her eyes were now becoming moist.

"Please go!" She said, turning her face away.

"No" Arnav realized that the word left his mouth on its own. He didn't even have to think before saying it.

This cannot be the end. He realized that he cannot leave her right now.

"I am not going anywhere! Not until you tell me that..that what I feel right now...you feel it too" He said, finding it hard to come up with words to explain his feelings.

Hearing his words, Khushi found dim hope rekindling in her heart.

"What do you feel right now?" She asked, looking at his face, his eyes, which were fixed on her face.

"I feel..." Arnav didn't know how he should put it or if he should even say it. But if not now, then when?

Something was telling him that this was a crucial moment. He needed to say something.

"What do you feel, Arnavji?" Khushi asked again, this time softly, afraid that all of this might be a dream.

"I feel that you're not meant to be with Akash. You and Akash sound so wrong together. Khushi, you need to be with someone who makes your heart race, who makes you smile, blush. Someone who remains constantly in your thoughts. Someone who you love spending your time with, being close with" Arnav said, looking at her expectantly, hoping that she would read between his lines and figure out what he means, rather who he means.

But, Khushi was not going to compromise this time. She had waited far too long for this moment.

"And who this someone can be, Arnavji? Do you have anyone in mind? If not Akashji, then who?" Khushi asked, urging him to say the word.

Arnav looked at her, running a hand through his hair.

"Come on, Khushi. You know who" Arnav finally said, feeling frustrated at her and more at himself for being unable to say it himself.

Khushi shook her head.

"No, I don't, Arnavji. How can I know if the person never told me? He never said anything to me that can be considered remotely affectionate. In fact, he kept reminding me that I was not worth him. That I was a gold-digging, low-class..."

"I never meant those things, Khushi" Arnav instantly reached her and cupped her face in his hands.

"Never, Khushi! None of those things ever came from my heart. I was just...I was foolish. You're the best person I have ever met. You're so full of love and kindness that sometimes it makes me despise myself. And I was angry that you...you made me defenceless. I tried so hard to resist it, to ignore it, but it is so potent that sometimes I find myself unable to breathe. This...this feeling burns strongly in my heart, Khushi. And..I.." Arnav tried to find a word that could express the intensity of the emotions that he felt for her.

"..I..need you in my life, Khushi. It is difficult for me to imagine a few days, let alone weeks and years without you. Ever since, you and Akash..It feels that something is heavily wrong, Khushi. Please tell me, that I am not wrong. You and Akash...it cannot be true. And even if it is...I can't stand it. I drives me crazy, just thinking about it" Arnav finally confessed, opening up his heart before her and Khushi didn't know if she should laugh or cry, be happy or sad.

She had indeed hurt him a lot by playing this whole act. She felt so guilty right now.

"Arnavji, I..I don't.. I mean Akashji and I are not together" She finally whispered, and she watched the confusion spreading on his face.

"What are you saying, Khushi?" He asked, sounding hopeful.

"Akashji and I...we thought that if we do this...act like we are involved with each other, you might express what you feel for me" Khushi replied, and the words now sounded horrible to her.

This was such a bad idea. But it had yielded the results, hadn't it? She tried to reason.

Arnav, on the other hand, stepped away from her and looked at her like he couldn't believe her.

"You and Akash lied to me?" He asked, disbelief weighing heavily in his tone.

He looked unsettled, even angry.

"I am sorry, Arnavji. But, it was the only thing I could think of at that time. I knew there was no other way for me to learn what you felt about me" She replied, eyes downcast.

Arnav wanted to be angry, but looking at her face, the guilt in her voice, he knew she already felt bad. And she was right. If not for this little act by her and Akash, he might have taken some more time to realise the depth of his feelings for her. Maybe a long time.

But, that didn't mean he was going to easily forgive this. Maybe he too could play the game.

"I can't believe you did this, Khushi. You have played with my feelings. You and Akash both. Do you know how hard it was for me? How much pain I went through thinking that I lost you?" Arnav said, the words not untrue.

Khuwhi winced hearing it. Tears appeared in her eyes, and Arnav realized this was not the time to play games. He was going to have an entire life with her. There would be enough time for him to pull Khushi's leg about this.

So, he quickly reached her and cupped her face in his hands.

"Shh. Don't cry, Khushi. It is okay. I am not that angry. I feel a little cheated, but I guess I did deserve it for hurting you so many times" He said softly, gazing into her eyes.

"You're not angry? Pakka promise?" Khushi sniffed.

"No. Had I been angry, would I do this?" He said and before Khushi could ask what, he kissed her lips again. It was a quick peck but Khushi's face reddened with embarrassment.

"Arnavji..." She began but by now the knocks at the door had turned too loud to ignore.

Arnav looked at the door and then at Khushi.

"Time to take the bull by its horns, Khushi" He winked at her, making her wonder what did he mean.

She didn't have to wait much to find out as Arnav went and unlocked the door.

There stood an angry looking Buaji and a tensed Garima.

"What the hell is going on, Sankadevi" The question had Khushi look nervous.

How on earth was she going to tell her Buaji what had just happened in the room?

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