Chapter 1

Humien Farak Padta Hai

Arnav drove down the brightly illuminated street, keeping a sharp eye out for Her.

What was he doing? Why was he doing all this?

Agreeing to marry Lavanya was possibly the most impulsive decision he had made. But was it the right one?

Could he spend his entire life with Lavanya?

And what about Khushi?

Why did he like to hurt her? Did it give him pleasure to see her cry?

He had her inches away from him, her tender cheeks cradled in his hands, her trembling lips begging to be kissed.

Arnav always prized himself with shutting out his heart and thinking with his head. But whenever Khushi Kumari Gupta was in the vicinity, his mind shut down completely and his heart had a free reign.

By the poolside, his mind kicked into overdrive when his phone rang, going into ultra protective mode. He threw her away from him, he outright denied what happened, and he made her feel the same pain he was feeling. The pain of this uncontrollable attraction towards her. He wanted her to hurt too.

But seeing her tears seemed to hurt him more.

Now in retrospect, he had been so involved in Khushi, he didn't realize that he has sealed his fate away with Lavanya.

He thought he was acting with his head, but really, he just acted with his heart all over again

Arnav saw Khushi standing some distance away in the middle of the road, staring off, looking lost.

He screeched to halt in front of her.

Khushi looked at him. Her face etched with sadness, a lone tear making its way slowly down her cheek.

As he approached her, she looked away for a second and seemed to pull herself together. When she looked back at him, she was smiling brightly. He might have believed it too, but her beautiful doe-eyes were welled up with tears.

"Arrey, aap? Shouldn't you be at hom'"

He cut her off. "Get in the car. I'll drop you home."

Her smile faded for a moment before she brought it back in full force.

Arnav couldn't watch this. Each fake smile was a harder stab to his heart. He turned to open the door for her. Her voice, however, halted him in his tacks. "No, I'll manage."

Does she really have to test my patience? "He turned to glare at her. "Shut up and get in the car."

He opened the car door for her, and after a moment of contemplation, she complied, and they were on their way.

The silence between them was deafening.

Her ragged breathing by the poolside was echoing in his ears.

"Arrey!" She started in a fake-chirpy voice. "I forgot to congratulate you. Congratulations to you and Lavanyaji. I'm so happy to hear that you and Lavanyaji are getting engaged. Its already a festive day, and your good news on top of it."

Why is she doing this? This fake happiness. Who was she trying to fool?

"So you're happy?" He asked in a cutting voice.

Her fake-smile faded for a moment but she quickly masked her pain with another one. "Arrey, why won't I be happy? This is what I wanted'"

"Oh really?" He cut her off again. "You wanted this?"

She looked at him for a moment, he could feel her eyes on him. "Yes, absolutely. Aap aise kun pooch rahe hai? You and Lavanyaji are getting engaged, what better news can there be? And it's a good thing that you are dropping me off. You have to meet my Amma and Babuji. They will also be so happy to hear this good news." Her voice was cracking at every word.

Then the silence was back.

He couldn't handle this fake Khushi. Arnav needed his real Khushi back. He couldn't handle this fake indifference. He would rather see her tears, than see her fake smile while she cried on the inside.

He had to know what she was feeling.

"Some time back you were asking me something," He stated simply.

"Me? No! What was I asking?"

"About your payal."

Khushi seemed stumped for a moment. She closed her eyes in pain.

When she spoke the fake smile was back. "Oh that. That was nothing special. What is special is that the work I was given is done. Naniji has accepted Lavanyaji and now both of you'"

He screeched to a halt on a quite street that wasn't as brightly lit up and turned his piercing gaze on her.

He didn't need to hear more about him and Lavanya. He cut her off again. "So you don't want to know about your payal?"

Her eyes widened but she acted as though he hadn't spoken. She stared straight ahead. "Naniji said that there will be a Roka ceremony, and soon after the marriage'"

Its time to stop beating around the bush. "Tumhe koi farak nahi padta ke maine tumhari payal sambhal ke rakhi?"

Khushi stared at him for a moment, her eyes welling up again. She unclipped her seat belt and got out of the car. "Thank you for dropping me this far Arnavji. I'll make my way home from here."

Anger and panic spiked through him. She couldn't leave without answering him. She couldn't leave him like this.

In a flash, he was out of his door and he had her pinned to the passenger side of his SUV with his lower body, his hands resting on the roof, caging her in.

"Tell me Khushi. Does it not matter to you?"

Khushi, after getting over her shock at his actions, shook her head, a few tears leaking down her cheeks.

"Tell me!" He demanded. "Say it! Say that it doesn't matter to you!"

"Humien farak padta hai Arnavji!" She shouted. "Bohot farak padta hai humien." She hid her face in her hands and started sobbing hysterically. Her body slumped forward.

He gripped her shoulders tightly. "Then why are you putting up this pretense?" He gripped her harder and puller her to himself. "Why are you doing this to me?"

Khushi put her delicate hands on his chest and gave him an almighty push. Arnav let her go and took a step back in surprise.

"You made it very clear to me Arnavji that none of this means anything to you. It doesn't matter to you. If you are happy with Lavanyaji, if you and her are happy'. *gulp* together' then I am happy." She said this in a low, broken voice, her eyes downcast.

She sidestepped him and started to walk towards her house.

Arnav supported himself with the aid of the car as the gravity of his actions settled upon him.

He was a fool.

A damn fool.

What have I done?

He turned to call out to Khushi. To stop her from leaving him. But he was beaten by her godforsaken cell phone ring.

Chalo Maiyaa ke bhavab bhavan bhavan'.

She answered promptly. "Ji Amma." Silence. "I am almost home." Silence. "Ji Amma." Silence. "Amma'" She hesitated for a moment. "Tell Buaji that I am ready to marry." With that she hung up her phone.

Marry? What the ****!?!

Khushi glanced back at him once, her teary eyes speaking volumes, saying a final goodbye, before she turned and left him in the middle of the street.

Khushi agreed to marry. Who did she agree to marry? Why did she say yes now?

Could it be because of him?

Arnav thought back to the last few days. Khushi had been behaving strangely.

She was crazy anyway, he thought fondly, but her behaviour was even weirder. The way she kept getting close to him and then backing away. Her mumblings about acidity and black magic.

How she had seeked his comfort when her Babuji got ill. She stayed strong in front of everybody else, but broke down in front of him only.

How she had opened up to him about her parents, about her past.

She kept giving him signs, and he didn't see them. Or, he did see them, but just ignored them.

Khushi felt something for him. She liked him. Or maybe her feeling went deeper. He didn't know, but there was something there.

What about him though? What did he feel?

Arnav remembered the feeling of dire hopelessness when Khushi had announced that she would be returning to Lucknow, forever.

He remembered the feeling gut wrenching fear when he had found Khushi unconscious at the dhaba en route to Nainital.

The anxious restlessness knowing she was inside of a condemned building.

The absolute rage when someone other than him and tried to lay a finger on her.

The untamed desire when she appeared before him wearing a red sari, not once, but twice.

He didn't know what name to give to this feeling. He didn't know what he felt for her, but without her, he was nothing. He needed her to be whole.

He had to get her back, he had to set this right!

By the time Arnav reached the Gupta residence, Khushi was just climbing the stairs towards the front door.

He screeched to a halt and rushed out of his car.

Khushi was walking as though she was in a trance. She didn't notice that he entered the house just behind her.

The elders of her family were in the sitting room. Her mother and Buaji stood up as they entered.

"Parmeshwari. What is your mother telling me? You have said yes?"

Before Khushi could speak, he cut in. "Yes Buaji. Khushi and I wish to get married."

Khushi's head snapped to him, surprised.

Her family gasped. Her mother with her hands over her heart, her bua with a hand on her head and a mutter of 'Nandkishore'. But her Babuji surprised him. He was smiling.

"What are you saying Bitwa? What is the meaning of this Khushi?"

"A' Amma' I-I' He'." Khushi just stuttered on, unable to form a coherent thought.

Arnav stepped in. "Aunty, I have come to realize that I can't be without Khushi." He slipped an arm around her waist and tucked her into his side. "With your and Uncle's permission, I would like to marry her."

Khushi's Babuji made a noise and lifted his hand, as though beckoning them closer.

Arnav laced His fingers with Khushi's, and noticed that her hand was trembling. He led her over to her father and they both knelt in front of him.

"Uncle, I promise, I will always look after her and I will always keep her happy. I will give her everything I can." He said all this, looking deep into Khushi's eyes, gently caressing the back of her hand. Khushi looked back at him cautiously, still unsure about what he was doing.

Her Babuji slowly placed a hand on his head, then a hand on hers, and then he placed a hand on their joined hands.

Arnav smiled, satisfied, and pulled himself and Khushi up to their feet.

"Sanka Devi, did you ever think about Shyam babua? What about him?"

Khushi's father immediately made a noise of disgust, which seemed to surprise everyone.

"Babua, what do you mean?" Buaji asked, utterly confused.

Khushi knelt in front of him once again, and held his hand to her cheek. "Babuji, you don't want me to marry Shyamji?"

Her father made a disgusted face and shook his head vigorously.

"Even before his attack, he never liked Shyam bitwa for Khushi." Her mother explained. "He never wanted this marriage to happen."

"Is it true Babua?" Buaji asked.

Khushi's father nodded, then pointed towards Arnav and smiled. Arnav smiled back, relieved. He didn't know why, but he wanted Khushi's family's consent. They meant so much to her, so they should mean just as much to him, right?

"Aunty, if it's okay, Nani and Di will be here tomorrow to talk about this rishta. I just wanted to come beforehand and speak to you all myself."

Her mother looked to Buaji. Buaji just smiled and said, "Jaisi Nandkishore ki marzi."

"Bitwa, if this is what you and Khushi want, then this is fine with us all."

Arnav smiled and joined his hands. "I'll take your leave now."

Arnav turned to leave. He heard Buaji reprimanding Khushi. "Titaliya, go leave Arnav bitwa till outside."

"Arnavji, if that was a joke, it wasn't funny."

Arnav knew she would react like this. "This isn't a joke Khushi."

"How is this not a joke? Just a while ago you announced in front of your family that you would be marrying Lavanyaji, and now you said to my family that you want to marry me. What are you doing Arnavji?"

Arnav held her hand and pulled her closer to him gently. "Mujhe bhi bohot farak padta hai Khushi. Bohot. I found your payal on the poolside on the day of Di's anniversary party. I've kept it with me since then. It reminded me of you and I wanted something of yours with me."

Khushi's her eyes searched his for assurance that this was true. She unconsciously moved closer to him.

Arnav pulled out his wallet and turned it over. Two tiny fake 'pearls fell onto his hand. "I have also kept these with me. I don't know why I kept them, but I just couldn't bring myself to throw them away."

Khushi examined the pearls resting on his palm. She gasped when she recognized them. They were from their very first encounter.

He returned the pearls carefully to their resting place and reached forward and gently tucked a strand of her hear behind her ear, caressing the apple of her cheek in the process. "Khushi, I don't know what's between us, but there is something there. I can feel it, and I know you can feel it too. I am done ignoring it and running away from it." He pulled her closer and cupped her cheek. "This will only happen with your consent Khushi. Only if you say yes. I don't want you have any doubt left in your heart."

He could see Khushi contemplating, fighting within. "Arnavji, what about Lavanyaji? You just said you would marry her. This will break her. I can't do this to her."

He closed his eyes and rested his head on her forehead. "Lavanya will understand Khushi. She knows I don't love her. It will be better for her in the long run. She will find someone else. I can't give her all that she wants."

He puled away and looked at her anxious face. "Tell me what you are thinking Khushi."

"Lavanyaji will be heartbroken Arnavji. And what about Naniji? She likes Lavanyaji now. Anjaliji also wanted this to happen. And Mamiji? Mamiji hates me. Even if I ay yes, no one will agree."

Arnav smiled. "Does that mean you're saying yes?"

Khushi's cheeks colored slightly. She turned away from his heated gaze.

Arnav put his arm around her and pulled her back into his chest. "Nani loves you. She has only accepted Lavanya because you have made her just like you. Di loves you, she has always had a soft spot for you and she has even said you will be a perfect wife. And Mami, well only after I get married Nani will give her the green signal for Aakash's marriage." He practically whispered all this into her ear. "Lavanya will be happier without me. I am a complicated person Khushi. I am not easy to be with. I can be stubborn, arrogant, proud, obsessive, demanding, unreasonable, childish, and the list goes on. Lavanya can't handle all this."

Arnav turned her around to face him. "But you Khushi. Only you seem to understand me. You always know what to say or what to do. You always deal with me so well. Only you manage to handle me and all my issues." He ran the back of his fingers up her arm. "It won't be easy Khushi. We will fight. I will make you cry. I always lash out at those who mean the most to me. But are you up to the challenge? Can you handle being mine for the rest of our lives?"

Khushi stared into his eyes, her own filling with tears once again. But this time there was no pain, only joy. Pure joy. He knew her answer. But he wanted to hear it.

Khushi cupped his cheeks in her delicate hands. "Arnavji, if you ever say bad things about my fianc again, you will see the worst of me."

She was grinning widely, and her infectious grin made him smile widely.

"I'm sorry soon To-Be-Mrs. ASR, from now on I'll only say good things about your perfect, handsome, magnificent fianc." Arnav said with a cheeky smirk.

Khushi flushed and hit his chest lightly. "Arnavji. You are too much."

Arnav lent forward and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Get some rest now sweetheart. Ladke-wale are coming to se you tomorrow."

"Good night Arnavji." She murmured.

She stood outside until he got in his car and drove away.

It was time to stop shutting out his heart and only listening to his mind. Now he had to listen to his heart and act with his mind. He hand to bring the two together.

Arnav took a deep breath. There was about to be a hell of a lot of drama at home when he broke this news.

But he knew his family would accept Khushi.

His Khushi. He smiled. The girl who brought happiness back into his life. The girl who brought a smile to his face. The girl who brought meaning back into his miserable existence.

He couldn't wait to be married to her.