Chapter 1
Chapter 1 ("I want a divorce from you!")
"I want divorce from you," he said his tone had no emotions from where she had predicted any underlined emotion.
But his every said word brutally hurt her. She was shocked, given that it was all of sudden said, that was the first emotion that hit her like a sword. Knifed her heart. May be even a physical attack of sword doesn't hit hard as his mention of divorce did. And the physical harm of it might be recoverable, there are medicines to deal with them. But emotional pains don't go away. There are no medicines for them. Except acceptance. But acceptance is to pain. That doesn't come easily. Not even in years. They are lifetime of disabilities to the soul.
She was so numb that she couldn't even ask him what mistake she had done that he wanted divorce from her. But then she asked herself, why she was surprised? She knew sooner or later the demand of divorce was coming from him as his behaviour had changed towards her a lot in just six months of their marriage. Didn't she know it? Partially yes, but then she didn't want it.
Bed sheet that she was setting was now left undone. With energy all drained from her body, she could hardly bring herself to stand straight.
"I have thought alot about it and this is the decision that I have come to!"
She slowly turned to face him, he was looking away from her. All she could guess was that he so hated her that he couldn't even afford to look at her.
She wanted to say something, but hardly able to get herself to form a word. She stayed mum. The truth was she was shattered beyond hurt. Beyond mention. Her soul heart. Pain was unbearable.
She didn't even know why he wanted divorce from her. When he was the one who proposed her for the marriage. But then after marriage something all of sudden changed and she didn't even get to know what really happened.
"You have no option, even if you are against it. The truth is I can't take the burden of this marriage anymore," he said. Another pain of words that further knifed her heart.
"Do you love anyone else?" she asked. She thought it was a silly question to ask him, but not so, when he actually agreed.
"Yes, I love Lavanya!" he said.
This threw her to the edge where she couldn't even breathe. Probably he noticed a harshness in her breathing. He ignored it.
"I don't know if I have the right to say it but I think I deserve the answer," it wasn't a statement said in anger by her. She could have never been angry at him. Because she loved him. Didn't matter how much pain he gave her, she accepted it. She couldn't tell how much she loved him when she herself didn't know if there were any limits to it, and she couldn't get herself to tell it to him either. Especially, when he was so indifferent to her.
Even if she was, she might be angry at her ill fate. "Why did you marry me if you loved Lavanya?"
"I don't think I owe you any answers! If you are keen I love her and I cannot live without her!"
"Why can't you say that looking into my eyes?" she said.
He hated it.
He went to her in quick three steps and held her by her arms. She didn't dare to wince. He was holding her to the point where it left red mark on her skin, the mental pain that she was going through was nothing near to the one of him holding her. In fact he never touched her not in anger until now. And affection was a far thing.
Khushi couldn't stand the fierceness in his eyes. She wanted to die the right moment. She couldn't accept his hatred towards herself.
"I hate you so much that you are an eyesore for me!" he said. "Can't bare you for even a second in front of my eyes. Now it has become so hard that I want to free myself. This marriage suffocates me to hell! This is why I want a divorce from you!" he said and pushed her back, she landed on the bed. Her elbow hit the dashboard, it was painful but looking at her it seems she had enough shocks that her body could tolerate after that it was numb. She simply sat looking at his waist as he stood just in front of her.
"Before you turn me into an animal, leave me."
"You hate me this much?!" she asked.
He gritted his teeth. But then marks of his own fingers on her arms made him fist his hand, anger never left his mind.
"I don't know why you hate me, Arnav. Other than you want me to leave you because you love someone else. But I hate myself for being a pain for you," she could hardly talk. She could hardly form words in her head. But she had to speak. May be she would never be given this chance again. "For my dad, please. If he will get to know about this he will die. Please wait for a while!" she said before I myself can take decision."
Arnav's hand clenched even more into a fist as he heard it. Khushi saw it.
"I know you have no reason to do this favour for me. I beg off you. I promise I will go far where not even my thought cross your mind!"
She knew he would not even give a second thought to whatever she was saying and would refuse to compromise, but she tried.
"I promise I would stay away from you. If Anjali di get to know about this she will not be able to take it."
Arnav had thought lot about it but he could not come to a better conclusion than asking her to divorce him.
"If we will announce our divorce all of sudden it will come as a shock. Nani ji, won't able to accept it. Not for me, but for our loved once please give me some time."
He was thinking.
"Take the blame that it is you who want the divorce, not me!" he said.
"I will," she said without even thinking. This made him look at her. He had no idea what damage he had done to her until he looked at her. But he chose to ignore it again. He wanted the divorce and he would have gotten it. With his baring power gone his emotions had totally died.
"Three months to the least I could give you. After that it's the end!" he said.
"It will be over even before that!" she said. He left from there saying no other word. "I won't trouble you!" she completed her sentence.
For her three months were just an extension to her breaths now.
He hated her. She hated herself.
If it wasn't him, then nothing else. Not even an urge to live.
As she was at a point where she wouldn't have picked herself up. Her life was all of sudden a black and white picture.
All of colours sucked out of her life all at once.
She clenched the bedsheets, slid down the bed and brought the sheets close to her mouth to muffle her sobs. As she finally let the pain of her heart flow in the river of her tears.
"I won't be able to live without you Arnav," she sobbed. The truth that she could have only told herself now. "For you, I can take any pain, but the pain that you hate me and love someone else," she hiccuped.
Her sobs filled the dark room. Chills only made her more numb, nothing else. She thought she was breathjng in pain.
She was chocking on her sobs, but she was unable to stop them.
Her phone kept on ringing but she couldn't get herself to pick it up. She was in no state to talk without giving a sign that she was terribly sick of emotions.
***
"Chote, where is Khushi?" Anjali asked.
Arnav calmed himself before answering. "She is at home!"
"Where are you?"
"I am outside for some work."
"Oh, I was worried. Khushi wasn't picking up the phone."
"I wanted to invite you both for a dinner. It has been quite a lot of time since we didn't have spent some time together. Khushi's brothers were missing her. So I thought why not a dinner together!"
"Sure, she will come!" he said.
"What, she will come? You are coming too!"
"Di, I am sorry. I won't be. I am really busy. I have lot of meetings coming up in this week and I have lot of working pending!"
"Chote, nothing has happened. And nothing will happen if for an hour or two you will come. We all will like it. Now come on not be stubborn. Tomorrow at 7:30 PM dinner at Gupta mansion," Anjali said and hung up the phone.
"Di...?"
He threw the phone on the table.
"What happen why are you so angry?" Lavanya asked.
"Hate this, now I have to take her to dinner because di wants."
Lavanya hugged him from behind. "It's okay, jaan. Just few more days off suffering than you will be free!"
Arnav moved her away. "La, I need an alone time please!"
"Oh really?" she said as she whirled his chair and held his tie in her hand and looked at him as she looked at his lips.
***
***
Khushi's eyes opened slowly, and as they stung due to the tears. She looked around and it was morning already. She slowly stood up but only to fall back on the floor. Her throat was dry. She looked for a glass of water but it was empty. By the looks Arnav again hadn't come home.
She then checked her phone. 20 missed calls at different times from Anjali.
"Hey sweety, I wonder everything is okay with you...I called you so many times but you didn't pick it up. Please as soon as you check this message call me. By the way, your brothers want to see you. Since it has been weeks you have hardly come home they are missing you. So for a dinner do come up, tomorrow night, alright?! I have already told Chote. Please you both come...We are missing you, Angel!"
Khushi read Anjali's iMessage but she could reply back. And she would not have gone to her parents home. Not at this point when anyone could have looked at her and said "there was something wrong with her." If her brothers would see her in this condition they would be worried.
She was sure even Arnav would not go that will raise more concerns and questions.
***
Khushi saw Arnav coming from outside, suitcases in his hands. Then immediately after him Lavanya followed.
"Take these bag to the guest room for now!" Lavanya ordered the servant.
He nodded and took briefcases from Arnav and her.
"Hello, would be ex- Mrs. Raizada!" she said and waved her hands at her.
Khushi had questionable look on her face. "ASR, I hope you have told her that I will be staying in this house!"
"I don't think she is blind to not to notice it, or deaf that she didn't hear what you said now!" he said.
"Oh, don't be so angry man, ASR. Come I give you body massage, you must be really tired and exhausted from last night workout!" she said with a wink. And took him to the room where she was suppose to stay.
Khushi almost lost her balance on the thought that they were sharing same beds. Another reason for her to die. She ran back to her room and locked the door only to fell on the bed and cry.
"What's you problem?" he shouted.
Khushi trembled as he marched inside the room in anger.
"Can't you just have called Di and told her that you don't want to go for the dinner? What you really want to prove by not attending her phone calls?"
She stayed quite.
"ASR? What is this?" Lavanya said as she came behind Arnav. "Didn't I tell you to relax yourself. If you will keep on getting angry like this you will have wrinkles."
Arnav moved her away and left the room. Lavanya smirked looking at Khushi before leaving.
***
"ASR, don't tell me you are thinking of going to the dinner!" she said as she hugged him from behind. And was unbuttoning his shirt buttons.
"La, not now please," he said. "Di, again called me. If we didn't go she will create a scene."
"What the? I will be here alone!" she pouted.
Khushi knocked on the door. "Here she goes!" Lavanya said irritated as she made a face looking at her.
"I will be effing downstairs, wait for me!" he said as he gritted his teeth looking at her. "You don't need to follow me around!"
She had her eyes lowered, she hardly looked at both of them. As it was a worst sight she could imagine. And it killed her violently.
"You don't have to come. Actually I told Anjali di that you have important work. So we might attend dinner sometime later!" she said and left from there.
He walked after her and caught her arm and pinned her to the wall. She winced.
"Next time ask me before taking decisions!" he growled.
She lowered her eyelids as she tried to grasp the pain of his hold on her wrist. And the bangle that pocked her skin.
He slowly let go off her arms without giving her a second glance, he left. In seconds he was away from her sight.
She held her bleeding arm and walked back to her room.
As she sank down to the floor, fresh new tears formed in her eyes. But she hardly had to force them out. They drenched her saree.
Another night passed away of her in tears.
Note: It is okay if you did not like the story not going to force anyone to read it. Special thank you those who read it, commented and clicked likes.
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