Chapter 4

Rey left the hotel room after a few hours and walked quickly continuously looking at his feet .. he walked past the people on the street thinking that everybody was eyeing him and knew what he was doing .. he tried to look around uncertainly trying to confirm what his nervous heart was feeling .. but to his surprise no one was paying any attention to him .. everybody was busy with their own work ..

He just couldn't make his feet walk to the studio where he had some pending work .. instead he found himself going towards his gym ..

He changed and entered in the area which was his most favorite at other times .. but today he was just not himself ..

He started jogging on his spot and then punching slowly and a bit unsteadily the punching bag .. due to his lack of concentration ,the bag lunged forward and came back and hit him on his face .. he was shocked and just stood on his spot letting the bag to hit him again twice .. Never before had this happened , he was so good at this .. but today was different .. he eyed the now steady hanging punching bag and then took a deep breath .. he attacked it with all his might and anger ..

"I hate myself .. " Rey angrily spat .. "I feel so disgusted at myself .. how could I ? " again and again he said the same things to himself .. degrading himself .. abusing himself .. mentally and physically .. he kept punching till he felt his knuckles sore and hard .. "I can't see myself straight in the eye again .. I feel so cheap .. I feel .. I feel like a .. " but he couldn't complete the word which was coming to his mind .. he felt his reflection on the mirror walls all around him mocking at his beaten self .. but he still went on and on .. puffing and panting .. cursing himself under his breathless breath and at the same time hurting himself and crying for himself ..

******

Finally after an hour , he collapsed on the floor grasping for air desperately .. he was completely drenched in his sweat .. his body ached with the pain he had inflicted on himself .. he slowly crawled and went and sat at the corner resting his back against the mirror and drank some water .. and just looked at his image in the mirror opposite to him ..

The images of him with Maya flashed in front of his eyes ..

It was more of he being seduced by her than the other way round .. he guessed she had known that it was his first time as an escort .. and she had taken the lead .. she had talked easily to him and asked him exactly what she wanted him to do to her .. and he had just followed her instructions to pleasure her ..

He had followed Ajay's advice of leaving his mind , heart and feelings outside the door .. and just concentrate on the body .. and yes he did just that .. his body was no doubt aroused with Maya's touches , with her kisses and caresses .. but nothing what she did went beyond his body ..

Even though he was not a celibate .. he had plunged between the sheets with his long time college girlfriend only when they both were comfortable with each other and trusted each other .. even though they mutually broke up as she disagreed totally to him having a career in film-line ..

He remembered this encounter didn't even remotely come near to what he had felt that time .. He did climax , which was something surprising for him .. he had thought he would reach his edge only with the person with whom he would totally be involved with ,not just physically but emotionally too .. but this s** left him empty and the reason for his anger and self- pity ..

******

As days and months passed , Rey started leading a dual life .. He was working as the story and script writer for one of the famous TV production houses and since the show gathered great reviews from the audience and the critics and was claiming top TRPs , he was even roped in to partner as the dialogue writer , along with 2 others , which he happily accepted ..

Ajay was also part of the show , he was playing one of the main character in the show and the only one who knew the whereabouts of Rey when he cancelled or lied or made excuses to not join on some weekend outings or parties or would want to miss on the all-guys beer night-outs with the crew members ..

******

One thing Rey realized that being an escort is not about intimacy and certainly not about love .. its simply a transaction .. just buyer and seller .. money was discussed beforehand with the agency ,but some of the customers were very generous and gave huge tips .. on the surface it seemed like the two parties were together to enjoy each other's company but the unspoken assumption couldn't be denied that the customer has paid for your time and so you would do what the customer asks you to ..

But , this was just one side of the coin , and the other side changed Rey's thinking about himself .. even though he knew the permanent truth , the unchangeable truth of his life that he had sold himself for s** , and had to live with that for the rest of his life , but he didn't hate himself as much he hated in the beginning , he was not ashamed of himself as much as he was initially .. he knew one thing that he did this for money , money which he desperately needed and he didn't take advantage or cheat anyone while doing so ..

Rey recognized that this profession is somewhat like a lawyer's or doctor's ,where secrets were mumbled unknowingly ,unconsciously .. Some let out their deepest fantasies to him ..
Or the deepest regrets of their lives ..Or the deep hurt they were nursing for years ... certain things to be kept within the 4 walls of the room itself .. obviously others may take advantage of it but , he being true to himself never spilled to someone outside about anything that occurred between him and any of the customers ..

He had made a few rules for himself and he followed them to the 't' ..

He has decided he would never indulge in a threesome or entertain a man or involve himself with an underage girl ... He even got the photos of his clients before hand or chatted with them on phone or via email just to get to know them , he even decided the hotel room and never visited any of his clients' houses or other place ...as Ajay had always warned him that this is a really risky business involving police , decoys , so to protect himself he was always cautious even though the agency for which he worked always assured him of his safety ..

He would be lying to himself if he thought his clients didn't inspire him or didn't give him ideas for new stories or characters ... he actually found some of them intriguing and interesting ..

Sometimes he actually felt that lucky when he compared himself to his clienteles, that he had a Dad even though he was ailing loved him , a brother like friend Ajay .. for them he could do anything ..

Maya had become one of his regular clients .. she even contacted him without going thru the agency and he was very well fine with that .. as she needed company more than anything from him ..

She was in her early forties , wife of a rich businessman in Delhi , mother of 2 teenage sons .. She was a very ambitious girl in her college and had lots of dreams but she was married off at an early age and then the responsibility of the kids fell on her rather soon .. She lost herself in managing her home , her extended family , forgetting herself completely ..
Her highly busy husband's life had no time for her and kids who now had gone abroad for studies left her all alone making her just another rich wife with lots of time at hand..

Rey was very comfortable with her , even though he had not revealed much about his life or why he was into this profession .. but she had been very open about her life to him .. with her it was not just about s** , it was more of conversations ... She wanted an ear and he easily lent her one ..

She wanted someone to hear her ,appreciate her, make her feel special and he used to do just that .. And he actually felt happy to bring a smile on her face when she left ...

Once he had got a client who was 30 and she was a virgin and had never had a boyfriend and now she was not even sure if she would get married ...
He was actually flattered that she was so taken in by his looks and body and he was speechless at her request .. She wanted him to take her on a date and make her feel how it is to be somebody's girlfriend ...
It was the first time he felt the control shifted in his hands ...
He could never forget the sparkle in her eyes the continuous blush on her cheeks and the heart rendering smile when she left ...
He only wished that she gets someone who truly loved and cared for her ...

Then there were others who just couldn't get satisfied with their partners or husbands and came to him for a more spicy fulfillment of their extreme fantasy filled desires ..

******

As he sat working in his cabin ,but his thoughts pooled around the wedding card and he smiled sadly thinking about his friend Vicky who was getting married .. Vicky was getting married to Neha .. they both worked for the same production house as Rey and had met and fallen in love with each other as they had started working as assistant directors .. They just looked so much in love with each other .. They both had grown very close to Rey and he really envied them sometimes ..

Rey knew he had no personal life .. he actually sometimes felt if he really had any life left .. he sometimes wondered if he would ever find a girl whose touch would make him dig those feelings which he had buried deep inside his heart .. will he ever look into her eyes and feel like drowning himself .. will his heart skip a beat on seeing her smile .. will he ever feel that completeness which he was lacking .. will there be anyone who would bring out the old Rey back ..

Suddenly he was brought back to reality as he heard a loud sound .. almost of someone falling on the floor .. and then there were the running footsteps of people and a few shouts and cries ..

He turned towards the commotion and saw a girl , somewhere in her early twenties , wearing a pink tank top and cut-off denim shorts and pink sneakers sitting on the floor in a dishelved state .. just like her shorts which he was sure had cut with her scissors .. he couldn't believe someone sane could wear those shocking pink sneakers .. her hair too had a streak of pink but now all messed up … her purse lying across her leg .. a few papers strewn around .. her eyes wide with the shock that she must have faced due to the fall and her mouth curved in the cutest pout he had ever seen ,holding her hands above her head so that someone would pull her up to her feet ..

Ajay his friend helped her sit on a chair and then offered her a glass of water ..

She drank the water and then almost jumped on her feet .. and then Rey's eyeballs almost dropped out of his sockets like everyone else's who were around her ..

She did a small dance shaking her hips and throwing her fists in air and screamed something like "Yeahhh "

Ajay almost caught hold of her shoulders asking "Are you ok ? .. Have you hurt your head ?" .. making everyone laugh including her ..

"No .. No .. I am fine .. thanks for helping me .. "

"Then why were you dancing .. ?" he asked curiously as everyone including Rey waited for her answer ..

She looked around everyone sheepishly "Actually .. I have this habit .. I always fall whenever I got to a new place .. " she wiggled her brows .. " And I have realized that where I don't fall , that place is not lucky for me .. so now as I fell here , I know this is the right place for me "

For almost a minute , there was complete silence around her and then the whole place burst into giggles and loud laughter ..

After a few minutes .. "What's your name ?" Ajay asked ..

"I am Ghai .. Kria Ghai " she extended her hand to him and spoke in the perfect tone and with expression that of James Bond ..

Ajay instead of shaking her hand again burst out laughing .. but she didn't take any offence and went ahead "I am sure you must have heard my name " again she delivered another famous dialogue of SRK making everyone smile in amusement ..

"So are you here for some audition .. " Someone asked ..

"Of course not .. I am the new dress designer for this show .. " making Rey look at her from head to toe doubtfully .. he shook his head in disbelief and wondered from where do these guys employ such cartoons and found himself smiling at his thought ..

*****

I have tried to justify Rey's character the way I had always thought .. I have no idea how an Escort leads his life or what exactly they do .. this is all as part of my imagination ... I knew Rey would be ashamed of himself for doing this .. but I don't want his character to be weak .. or self - pity himself .. he is strong and positive ..

Hoping this update brings out all the feelings ..

Please do comment and like ..

Regards,
Amy