Chapter 4

~ CHAPTER 4 ~

"Khushi..."

The whisper of the name lingered in the air-conditioned bedroom as Arnav awoke with a start. He looked around the familiar room and sighed tiredly. He had driven around aimlessly for hours last night and after coming home crashed here on the recliner too tired to even think. Now, as the last traces of the forbidden dream disappeared, Arnav rose from the recliner and walked out of the room to the poolside. Staring at the gently rippling water of the pool, he wondered how he had let the situation go so out of hand.

All his life he had been responsible. First he was the responsible son to his parents and afterwards, a responsible older brother to Dhruv. He stifled the pain that rose up with the memory of his brother. No, he hadn't handled that responsibility all that well, had he? Arnav thought grimly. But still he hadn't ever been a playboy. That's not to say he was completely without experience. A few relationships that he had had, had fizzled out with his girlfriend's complaining that he was too introverted and reserved. But even when the relationship was fresh, he hadn't dreamed about them or even missed them after their break-up. But here he was dreaming about a girl he had met only a week ago!

Arnav was still shaken and disgusted by his actions of the previous day. He had literally turned into a stalker! He couldn't believe that he was attracted to a girl 8 years younger than him. Khushi was just 24 years old and he was almost a generation older than her at 32. She had been nothing but an exemplary employee and here he was, wishing she belonged to him. When he had no right to think such thoughts about anyone, much less a sweet girl like Khushi. His cursed life had ended even before it had even begun, leaving his dreams and hopes in ashes.

What did he have to offer anyone like Khushi? Arnav thought in despair. He couldn't even provide her the security of his name. She was better off with a man like NK Malhotra, a good man whom he actually considered a friend. A man who was free to give her all the happiness that she deserved. Khushi took care of him because she was obligated to and fool that he was, had let himself get attached to her. A little attention and care from her and pathetic that he was, he had begun dreaming of her.

He needed to break the strings before it reeled in and took them both down. It would be better all around if he avoided her for the rest of the week. Irene would be back next week and his new confused feelings would settle down once he was away from Khushi, Arnav decided with renewed determination.

-----xxx-----

Arnav spent the weekend closeted at his home with his work and on Monday the first thing he did was swap a business trip to Mumbai with one of his VP's. He mailed Khushi to let her know of the change in his schedule. It was cowardly of him, he knew, but it was better than having to face her with his disconcerting thoughts and Friday night still on his mind.

Khushi came in as usual to work on Monday and was surprised to find that Arnavji had gone to Mumbai. She knew it hadn't been in his schedule. She wondered briefly if there was some problem but tried not dwell on it too much. Day after tomorrow was Diwali and since it was the first Diwali in her new home, she wanted to make it special. She hoped Arnavji was back before the festival. She wanted to invite him to the dinner too. She was sure he wouldn't be celebrating as she knew his grandmother was on a pilgrimage. It upset her to think that he would be alone on that day. She checked her wayward thoughts with a shake of her head. But it didn't stop her glancing at the phone at frequent intervals for Arnavji's calls or worrying if he had taken his medicines on time.

-----xxx-----

On the morning of the auspicious day of Diwali, Khushi woke up early and after freshening up did the pooja. She had invited a few guests over for Diwali dinner and a belated housewarming ceremony. NK and La, her friend Payal Kapadia from the secretarial pool, Akash Rathod, the executive whom she had been reporting to in the absence of ASR and a couple of girlfriends from college. Arnav Singh Raizada had not been to the office in the last 2 days and there hadn't been a single call from him either. She hoped everything was alright with him.

Later that morning, Khushi left for St. Mary's orphanage. Every month Khushi set apart a certain amount of money from her salary for the orphanage. She knew she would never be able to repay the Sisters for their love and care they had given her during her childhood, but she wanted to do what she could so that many more orphans like her would be able to receive the same compassion and shelter. As she reached the gates of St. Mary's, the kids saw her and mobbed her as soon as she stepped inside.

"Khushi didi..."

"Khushi didi is here..."

"Didi, did you get my crayons?"

"Khushi didi, did you forget us? Why didn't you come all these days?"

Khushi lovingly extricated herself from the exuberant hugs and greetings of the kids after giving the appropriate answers to meet Sister Josephine, who stood smiling at the doorway of the orphanage. Enveloping Khushi in a bear hug, Sister Josephine asked about her new home and job. She smiled at Khushi's animated description of both her home and work. It wasn't by fluke that Khushi had been named their "little joy". Khushi then distributed the gifts she had brought to the kids and walked in with Sister Josephine. As they reached the Mother Superior's office, the door of the office opened and Khushi was shocked to see Mr. Arnav "Invisible" Raizada, in the flesh, standing at the doorway.

"Arnavji...?"

"Khushi...?"

It was hard to say who was more shocked, him or Khushi, Arnav thought as he saw the girl he had been trying to avoid standing in front of him. He had just been getting out after dropping the cheque for donation with Mother Superior, when he had almost stumbled into Khushi, in an orphanage, of all the places!

"What are you doing here...?"

"What are you doing here...?"

They again spoke up simultaneously and smiled at each other embarrassed. Khushi turned to Sister Josephine and introduced ASR to her. Sister Josephine excused herself soon after the introduction to attend a call, leaving the two of them alone.

"Arnavji...Did you finish your work in Mumbai?" Khushi went ahead first to avoid the earlier confusion.

Arnav nodded "Yeah. Came back last night"

"Our flight is booked for 11 am tomorrow Arnavji" Khushi informed him.

Arnav looked at her incomprehensively "Our flight?"

"Arnavji...Did you forget about the party Mr. Gonsalves is giving tomorrow night in Goa? You told me to accept the invitation and make the travel arrangements" she reminded him mildly.

"Fine..." Arnav was sure he sounded as surly as he felt. What was wrong with him? He resolves to avoid Khushi one day but forgets that he had already asked her to accompany him to Goa to finalize the Gonsalves deal! And he couldn't even send someone else in his place. Donald Gonsalves owned a prime beachfront property in Goa that Arnav wanted badly.

Khushi looked at him puzzled at his tone but didn't comment as they walked out of the orphanage to the park outside where the kids were playing. Arnav stood there mystified as a young kid came and showed a picture to her and Khushi praised the picture as though it was a masterpiece done by Picasso himself. The kid left only after Khushi promised him to hang the picture on her refrigerator.

"You seem like a regular visitor here" Arnav observed as they walked over to a wooden bench in the shade of a tree and made themselves comfortable.

Khushi looked at him puzzled "Why wouldn't I be? I grew up here"

Incredulous dark eyes gazed into hers "You grew up here? In the orphanage?"

Khushi turned away from the intense eyes and nodded somberly "Yes. After my parents death when I was 5, I lived here till I turned 18 and left for college" she looked back at him and smiled broadly "the Nuns looked after me very well Arnavji. I was content here. So I come here occasionally to help out as much as I can"

Arnav's heart wrenched at a vision of a cute 5 year old girl crying uncontrollably at being left alone "But you were so young! Wasn't there any relative who could take you in?"

Khushi shook her head in negative "My parents were the only children of their parents and both sets of my grandparents had already expired" she turned to him "I was one of the lucky one's Arnavji . There are so many orphans out there who don't have what the nuns here gave me. I think it's commendable that you support the orphanage" she finished with a teasing grin.

An embarrassed flush rose in Arnav's cheeks "How..How did you know..?"

Khushi began laughing "Look at your expression Arnavji. You really didn't think I wouldn't guess it. Did you? You are so cute when you're embarrassed" she was still laughing hard and she didn't realize the effect her words had on Arnav who looked as if struck by a meteor.

Khushi suddenly realized how late it was and remembered that she still had to invite Arnavji for dinner. She rose from the bench and turned towards him "Arnavji..I have to leave now. But I have arranged a dinner at my home for my friends. I'd really like it if you would come too..."

Arnav too stood up dusting his Armani trousers "Dinner..? What time?" he asked forgetting all about his resolution to avoid her as she smiled brightly at him. Arnav felt lighter than he had felt in days.

"At 7'o clock. Don't be late Arnavji" she turned to leave just as her phone rang.

"Hello NK..."

Arnav stiffened.

Khushi chuckled at whatever NK said on the other end "No I won't forget to prepare Suji Halwa. I know it's your favorite" she turned and waved to a suddenly grim ASR and left while still talking over the phone "How many times are you going to remind me your favorite dishes NK?"

Arnav felt all the good cheer leave him slowly as he watched a smiling Khushi walk away.

-----xxx------

"Thanks Khushi. That was one amazing dinner" NK complimented enthusiastically as he prepared to leave. Khushi smiled and thanked him as she walked with him to the door. NK was the last to leave. He had not only demolished her Suji Halwa she had prepared for dessert, he had also made her pack the leftovers for him to take home.

The dinner had been a success. Everyone had loved her home and enjoyed the food. Akash Sir and Payal had hit it off really well, which had come as a shock considering both were reserved people. Her girlfriend's had flirted with NK and he had flirted right back making La make a couple of acidic remarks. Khushi had controlled her smile at the obvious display of jealousy by La and watched silently as NK and La had once again begun bickering. All in all it had been a wonderful evening. But Khushi couldn't stifle a tinge of disappointment. Arnavji hadn't come.

"Khushi is there a problem?" NK asked all of a sudden. He had been noticing that Khushi seemed distracted the whole evening "You look...upset"

Khushi looked startled and looked confusedly at him "No. Why would I be upset?"

"I don't know" NK shrugged "You tell me. You are the one who looked like someone ran over your dog all evening"

Khushi snorted "You're so full of yourself. There is nothing wrong. I'm perfectly fine"

NK stared at her for a full minute as if checking her expressions and shrugged again "Okay, If you say so. But you know I'm always there if you want to talk. Right?" he reminded gently. He had not missed the way her eyes kept glancing at the door as if waiting for someone the whole evening.

Khushi nodded as NK hugged her and closed the door as he left. A few mins later the doorbell rang again and Khushi opened the door without checking, thinking it was NK. She was stunned when she saw who it was at the door.

"AAP?"

-----xxx------

Arnav stood there mesmerized looking at a red sari clad, breathtakingly beautiful Khushi.

He had spent the evening debating with himself whether to go to the dinner or not. Finally at 9 pm, he couldn't restrain himself and driven himself to her home. He had still been hesitant to go and waited in the car itself for about 20 mins when he had seen NK driving away. He had pulled his car to the parking slot soon after and approached her apartment.

Now as he stood gawking at a shocked but delighted Khushi he felt happy that he had come. As Khushi invited him inside, he noticed that the whole house had undergone a Diwali transformation. Diya's were lit at every spare surface giving it an ethereal appearance. And Khushi, Khushi looked like a fairy come down to earth with her red-orange chiffon sari and hair left open.

"Sorry I'm late. Actually I was..."

"It's all right Arnavji. You are here now. Doesn't matter that you were a little late" Khushi said cheerfully as she arranged the dishes she had specially prepared for him keeping in mind his condition.

As the dinner progressed they found themselves speaking about their day and office. Khushi did most of the talking while Arnav listened contentedly . He stared at the beautiful woman chatting animatedly to him and couldn't hold back another pang of self-pity for the things he couldn't have. Or what could have been if he had been free. Free to live like he wanted, free to love. Free to dream. But he knew some dreams were destined to go unrealized.

Forever a beautiful dream but never a reality.