~4~

1 years ago

TiaMaaaaa

@TianaWrites

⚠️TW: Mentions blood. Reader's discretion is advised.⚠️

~4~

20 September 2012

There was a huge storm coming and he was rushing home to avoid it. It was already late and he could see there were not many vehicles on the road. People would have heeded to the storm warning unlike him who got caught up at work, he thought. A flash of lightning followed by a loud clasp of thunder made him press the accelerator. He needed to get home. Suddenly as if hearing his thoughts, the car gave a series of groans and stopped. He cursed out loud and got down to investigate when he felt someone staring at him. He turned around to see her across the road, looking tired and broken yet so beautiful. Her beautiful doe eyes that haunted him every second of the day looked at him accusingly.

"Khushi... what are you..."

"You never thought about me. Why?"

Her cold voice filled with rage pierced the chill air and he suddenly felt himself going numb as a drop of tear glided down her cheek. He shut his eye trying hard to compose himself.

"Khushi... sorry... I..."

As he opened his eyes trying to find the right words to explain, he was stunned to see his sister instead of Khushi standing in front of him. Had he been mistaken? Was it really her that he had thought as Khushi? She looked frail and weak about to faint yet her eyes looked straight at him and strangely they looked so like Khushi's, accusing and angry.

"Di...?"

She said nothing but as he saw her body sway with the wind, he rushed towards her to catch her. 

"Di... Di....?"

Her long hair covered her face as she lay motionless in his hand. He shook her gently and was about to remove her hair when a strong gust of wind blew and a speck of dest fell in his eye. He instantly took his hand to rub it off frustrated. As he opened his eyes again, he reeled back in terror as he saw his hand that was holding her, blood stained. 

"Bbb...bb...lood?"

The hair on her face parted with the wind and he saw the worn out face of his mother. Where was Di? He couldn't understand what was happening. Was he hallucinating again? But this couldn't be his imagination, his mother looked exactly as he had seen her when he was 8. He had to do something.

"Mm..mm..Maa..aa?"

She opened her eyes, looked at him and gave a ghastly smile. Her eyes looked dead unlike his Di and Khushi's.

"I am sorry, Chotte."

Her eyes slowly shut and he felt her breath slow down. No, no, no this couldn't be happening. He must stop it. He had to protect her. He shook her

"Maa... Maa..."

Screaming loudly, he sat up on his bed. Feeling himself all alone in the dark, he groped around and realized where he was. He groaned as he understood that the nightmare would never leave him. He leaned over and switched on the bedside lamp. As the light illuminated his suite his eyes adjusted to the familiar surroundings. A gentle breeze blew and he shivered realizing his body was covered with sweat. His bedside clock showed 2 AM. 'Four more hours of night' he sighed as he stood up. He knew going back to bed now was impossible so, he walked slowly to the bathroom to take a shower.

Half an hour later, wrapped in a bathrobe, he walked towards his work table with a cup of steaming black coffee. He knew it was better he worked the hours away. Atleast, something productive would come out of the dull slow moving time. This has been his routine ever since he had last seen her. Sleep had deserted him and no amount of work tired him enough to sleep without the horrific nightmare interrupting. He had wronged her and he deserved the punishment, he reckoned as he fired up his laptop. 

Two hours later, he yawned. He had completed all pending work and even drafted out a new proposal, yet the clock hands had moved so slowly. He gave a sigh and pulled open the cupboard under his table to take out a file. The file had the legal documents of the latest AR acquisition. As he opened the document her name popped up and he groaned. Would he never be able to get some peace? The guilt that he had betrayed someone who was innocent pricked his conscience hard. Suddenly, he felt the urge to talk to her, to apologize. He ought to, if not he felt he would suffocate under the guilt. It was not that the thought of apologizing had struck only today, it had been bugging him from the minute she had left. He never had the courage or confidence to apologize but today in this unearthly hour, he felt like talking to her. All at once, it felt like if he didn't apologize right then, he could never be alive. He took out his mobile and typed the number he saw on the file below her name. He did not know if it was official or personal neither did he care. All he knew was that he had to apologize right then and thats what he was going to do. He pressed the call button and the phone rang... once, twice and then.... her drowsy voice came through.

"Hellooo... who?"

"Khushi"

There was a pause.

"It's me"

Another pause as Khushi tried to pinch herself and make sure it was a dream or not.

"Khushi"

She collected her thoughts, looked at the wall clock and composed herself.

"Yes, Mr. Raizada. If you have any issues with the legal papers related to the CA acquisition, we can discuss during office hours which falls between 9 AM to 6PM. Thank you."

She was about to cut the call when his pleading voice reached her ears.

"Khushi... don't cut the call... I... uh..."

Another pause. Khushi was wide awake by now.

"I... want to..."

Pause again. Khushi felt her temper rise. What was the man doing so early in the morning disturbing her sleep?

"Mr. Raizada... Its 5 AM and its my personal time of which you have already wasted five minutes, now if there's something really urgent, please...."

"Khushi I am sorry."

The words came out all at once and she felt her heart race. Was he really apologizing to her? The man who was never wrong, Arnav Singh Raizada, was apologizing. Hardly believing, she whispered 

"For?"

"For treating you wrong. I made a mistake not considering you when you should have been my first thought whatever be the circumstance. Would you forgive me?"

"Does this apology have anything to do with your father?"

"No no... he doesn't even know we met. I uh... I shouldn't have treated you like that... I am sorry...."

There was a pause. He wondered if she would forgive him. What if she didn't? Would he be able to take it?

"Ok."

"Oookay??"

"Apology accepted."

He felt his heart soar. He had never felt so light in such a long time. The lump in his throat seemed to have cleared miraculously and he knew that moment what she meant to him.

"Is there anything else?"

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Uh... can... uh... can we... uh... can I see you today?"

"Why?"

The tone of her response made him feel uncomfortable, nevertheless, he said with a calm voice 

"I would like to apologize in person."

"Why?"

"I owe you that much. An apology over call isn't really proper for what I did."

There was silence again and he felt his breath hitch wondering what was going on in her mind.

"8 AM, Lawyer's Cafe, opposite to my firm."

"Thank you"

The phone went dead and Arnav heaved a sigh of relief. Three more hours and he would see her again. He had no plans of letting her go this time. She was his choice and his she would be. His father's decisions no longer mattered.

***

Khushi sat still wondering what had just happened. He had apologized and she ought to feel exhilarated, she reckoned but she felt nothing of it. Instead there was a sense of unease. She couldn't bring herself to trust him. She felt her insides wage a war on what she ought to do. Unable to control herself, she let her thoughts go contemplating various pros and cons. When her mom came in to wake her up at 6.30 as usual, she had made her decision.

"Khushi? You are awake?"

"Yes... Arnav called."

Garima looked uneasy.

"Why?"

"He wanted to apologize for behaving so insolently."

"Ok.... and?"

"I accepted."

"Ok"

"He wants to apologize in person. We are meeting at a cafe outside our office at 8."

Garima said nothing but clenched her fists. She was nervous but she couldn't... wouldn't show it, she decided. Khushi looked at the creases deepening on her forehead and said

"We are leaving on Monday. Nothing's going to change that. Continue packing."

"But, Khushi..."

"You asked me to face my troubles instead of running away. So here's me facing it before we move. I want us to go without any bitter feelings."

Garima nodded.

"Ok.... but just so you know, I am okay with not going too..."

Khushi came close to her mother and gave her a tight hug.

"I know and that's one of the reasons I love you.... apart from the hot pooris you do..."

Garima hit her slightly.

"Stop it, Khushi... You ok?"

Khushi nodded.

"I am perfectly fine... I know what I want... I promised you long ago that I'll show you the world, this is the first step. Get ready Garima, we are off to see the world."

***

Arnav looked at his watch, it was 7.50, he had been waiting for the past one hour and the waiter came by him again

"Anything else, sir?"

"Uh... a.. uh.."

"A cup of iced lemon tea, Sid Bhaiyya. With extra sugar and lots of ice as usual."

Her chirpy voice made him turn around and what he saw took his breath away. She was wearing a bright red shirt fitted perfectly to her size paired with a light blue jean. She wore bold red lipstick and her hair was tied back in a ponytail and she looked ravishing. A feast to his sleep starved eyes. She walked towards him and sat down on the chair before him.

"Good morning, Mr. Raizada."

"Khushi..."

His voice came out in a whisper. Seeing her look unlike his nightmares made him heave a sigh of relief. She looked at him taking her in and felt her cheeks color. He looked thinner than before, she noted but dismissed it considering the amount of hard work he would have done with respect to the recent acquisitions. She cleared her throat as he continued to stare at her without saying anything. He broke out of his thoughts as he heard her voice.

"Khushi..."

"Yes, Mr. Raizada."

"I am so sorry for what happened that day. I shouldn't have treated you like that. I apologize."

"Apology accepted."

She said in a professional tone looking straight into his eyes. He felt a little put back by her cold stance. Still, never being the one who would shirk from taking risks, he continued 

"Khushi... do you think... would you... can we try again?"

"Try what?"

"Can we give us a chance? Would like to be my girlfriend?"

"You do recollect that I was your father's choice. Don't you?"

He shut his eyes trying to compose himself.

"It doesn't matter, Khushi. What really matters is you... I like you... would you want to give us a chance?"

She looked at his sincere face and said slowly

"You don't know anything about me, Mr. Raizada. Neither does your family. I heard they are very affluent and Sarita aunty, the woman who brought your proposal lied to your Dadi. If they know the truth about me, they won't like it."

He scoffed.

"Come on, Khushi... I am talking about us and only us... why do you want to bring my family in?"

"Because I don't want my heart broken. You see, Mr. Raizada, from a very young age, I have known that no family would truly accept me with my past. Honestly, I think you should consider someone else."

"I don't care about your past."

"But your family would."

"Well, I don't care about them either... Khushi, this is between me and you... didn't you say that earlier... why are you making this about them?"

"Because I realized only on that day what it would mean if we get together. I realized though we may want to be with each other, someday we would have to face your family and if the whole lot of them refuse to accept me, you would..."

"I would not accept them... I really don't care, if I did, do you think I would be here?"

She looked at him in the eye and said

"I don't have a father."

He looked back at her not leaving her gaze.

"I have one whom I refuse to call my father."

She shook her head.

"I did read in the newspaper that you had business troubles with your father and hence you chose your mother's surname. But in my case, I use my mother's surname because my mother never married... She had me when she was 15 years old."

He looked stunned.

"So you see, Mr. Raizada, unlike you, I don't know who my father is and I am sure your family won't be ok with that."

"Doesn't matter... I don't care who your father is... I care about you..."

Khushi looked away trying to get hold of her thoughts. She had thought he would leave the minute he knew the truth. Most of her friends had. No one wanted to associate with a girl whose mother was not known for a good character. She was used to pitying looks and averse reactions from guys who liked her pretty face.

"Khushi...? What do YOU want? That's all I care..."

She took a deep breath and looked at him.

"I applied for internship at Harvard law and was selected. I am leaving next week. I won't be back until next year."

She suddenly reached out and took his hand in hers.

"Arnav, I like you but I am scared... it was not easy growing up without a father and reminded every single day about it. I have seen what my mother went through silently over the years. She protected me fiercely but could never stop every Tom, Dick and Harry... I have lived in many cities across the country befoe coming to Delhi simply because my father wasn't there and my mother was so young. I... uh... I don’t think I have the strength or the courage that my mother had. I cannot risk a heartbreak."

"I won't break your heart... I can promise you that."

"But you cannot promise things will always be the same can you? You may fall out of love, your family may push you to fall out of love, I may become huge and annoying... You can never be sure of the circumstances, Arnav..."

"I can't promise anything about anyone else... but as I said... I can promise you that I won't change..."

Khushi sighed.

"I need some time, Arnav."

He took her hand and brought it close to his lips and looked at her.

"Take all the time you want. I will wait."

"I can't promise you anything just now. I can't assure that I will ever get the courage to get into a relationship."

"I'll take my chances. Will you call me?"

"No... I can't..."

She saw his face fall and she quickly said

"But, I can send you emails just to let you know I am okay."

His lips lifted and he squeezed her hand.

"Have a safe trip, Khushi. I hope you get the best off your time at Harvard."

She nodded and stood up.

"Goodbye, Arnav"

She said with a smile. He smiled back at her.

"Goodbye Khushi."

***

It was almost lunchtime when his meetings got over and as he entered his cabin, he suddenly felt lonely. Might be the sleepless night but he felt extremely unsure. He picked his call and rung the familiar number.

"Maa?"

"Yes, Chotte... you called me. I am so happy. Will you come home today? Your father is asking for you everyday. You know he is sick... Won't you come just once atleast for my sake?"

"Maa... please. You know I can't come there."

"Hmmm..."

"Maa?"

"Yes."

"I want to see you. Can you come... uh... to the garden?"

"Chotte... I... uh... I want to... I am sorry son... But you know... your Dadi... she isn't... isn't really keeping well, she can't handle your dad alone... The doctor says he is really sick... can't you come here, Chotte?"

Her pleading voice grated his already tired out nerves. Trying to compose himself, he took a deep breath.

"Maa... please... just... this... one... time... for my sake? It won't take more than 15 minutes."

"Chotte... please understand... I simply cannot leave.... I am sorry..."

He said nothing.

"I love you so much, Chotte.... I wish things were different... Your father is really sick else I would have come... I..."

An angry voice interrupted her.

"Ratna... where are you? What are you doing at this time of the day? I need my water"

"Chotte..."

He clenched his jaw.

"Yes yes your master has called... Go and do your duty. Bye"

He cut the call and threw the phone down in a fit of rage. If only he could break the prison his mother was in and whisk her away. His eyes fell on the lunch bag on his desk. On an impulse, he grabbed the car keys nd walked out the room.

***

He rang the bell of the Raizada Mansion. He had been here exactly twice after the housewarming. Both the times he had been at the crossroads of his life and both the times, he had found the strength to go on after coming here. The door opened by their faithful house help who had been with his Nani's family every since her husband died. Om Praksh smiled at him

"Arnav Babua. How are you?"

He nodded slightly at him and walked inside. A few seconds later, he heard her voice down the hallway.

"Hello hi bye bye, who is it OP?"

As she came and saw him, she stood still.

"Arnav Bitwa?"

"Mami"

"SaasuMa is with Anjali bitya."

"I know."

His thin and pale appearance automatically made her eyes tear. Softly, she said

"Aakash did say you weren't good. I was thinking of coming and seeing you. You didn’t eat, yet? Come."

She led her to the dining room.

"Sit"

He obeyed and she left. He heard her barking commands to the kitchen staff. In 20 minutes, the dining table was filled with dishes he loved. She came from the kitchen and served him food and sat next to him.

"You have become so thin, hello hi bye bye. Have you slept? You have been working too hard."

"It's not work"

She said nothing but placed another roti on his plate.

"Whatever it is, doesn't warrant you ignoring your health, hello hi bye bye."

The lunch then proceeded in silence. Once complete, he got up to leave when she stopped him.

"There's something I want to show you."

She went inside and came out with a big art notebook.

"I was thinking about you yesterday when I drew this."

She opened a page and he looked where she pointed. It was sketch of a clear gem shining on top of a tornado. She looked at him and said

"I think you are like this gem, precious and hard to get. People who have you would be foolish to lose you. Whatever the circumstances, you stay a gem."

"If you say so."

"I know so... I don’t care about others. You stay the way you are hello high bye bye."

"And things will work out?"

"Hello hi, ofcourse it will. Even if it doesn't, what are we here for, bye bye?"

He smiled feeling suddenly that he could conquer the whole world. She always managed to do that. He looked affectionately at her.

"I need to leave for work. I will see you later. Tell Nani I came."

She nodded.

"Say hello hi to Anjali bitya, you will feel better."

He said nothing. He wondered if he would ever get the courage to do what she said as he drove back to work.

***