Part 25 -

 

When she arrived khanna palace, a red sun was sinking towards the horizon. Kripa stepped out of her car. There was the glow of lights inside. She had parked right at the base of the flight of stone stairs, now she leaned into the vehicle keeping her palm pressed flat on the horn.

Kripa – (thinking) I'm on the run, I'm a fugitive. A profoundly wounded woman.

At least angad was at home. She felt in her jeans pocket for the folded note paper she intended to present to him. He would understand what it was. It was her response to the advertisement for a wife he'd never placed. Surely he'd told her she would fit the bill? She had nowhere else she wanted to be.

Angad's tall figure appeared on the verandah.

Angad – kripa, what's up?

 

She gave him a pathetic little wave, feeling pushed to the limit, yet in the space of a nanosecond the vision of herself as a child waving to him while angad, the handsome young boy, waved back flared like a bright light. For weeks and weeks she had searched the archives of her mind for that cherished memory. Now like some miracle it presented itself, bringing her a moment of happiness .

Angad lost no time covering the distance between them, moving through the portico and taking the steps in a single step.

Kripa – I've just remembered waving to you when I was a little girl. Isn't that strange?

Angad – strange and beautiful. That meant a lot to me, kripa . What happened? (looking at her disturbed state)    

Kripa – I've left home and I'm never going back.

Angad – come inside the house. He said, tucking her to his side. You're trembling.

Kripa – how come nothing shocks me to the core anymore?

Angad – you're in shock, that's why. He pointed out already feeling concern he could have been a cause of the family fallout.

From somewhere the furniture had appeared in the living room. She looked at the comfortable arrangement with a little frown on her face.

Kripa – where did these things come from?

Angad – out the back. There's more in store at the other house. So are you going to tell me? What happened? Did you have an argument with your father?

Kripa – what father?

Angad – he surely couldn't have told you to go?

Kripa – (shrugged) no, I did that all by myself?

Angad – look, would you like coffee? I've got some good coffe bean. Won't take me a long time to make coffee.

Kripa – I'll come with you.

Furniture had been moved into the enormous kitchen as well. It hadn't been there on her visit.

Kripa – expecting guests?

Angad – you're here.

Kripa – this is a marvelous kitchen. Or it could be. These chairs really belong in a dinning room, you know. Were they shipped from abroad? They're antique.

Angad – plenty more where they came from. While you were visiting prithvi bose, I took a look at what was in storage. My favorite things were still there. Things I remember from when I was a child. There will be more than enough to furnish the ground floor. I don't know about upstairs. 12 bedrooms take a bit of furnishing. At least I have a bed.

Kripa – that's good, somewhere to rest a weary head. You might want to take a look at this. (she stretched her right leg so she could remove the folded notepaper from the pocket of her tight fitting jeans)

Angad – what is it? Hang on a moment, I'll just grind these beans.

After grinding the beans angad sits next to kripa.

Angad – what's this? He unfolded the crumpled paper, looking at it with interest.

Kripa – it's not my best effort, I just had enough time to get down the facts.

Anagd – (stared at her eyes) is this what I think it is?

Kripa – read on.

Angad – this is truly remarkable, kripa. On the scale of one to ten, I'd give you an eleven. No wait twelve!

Kripa – isn't it good. I mean it's so good you won't need to advertise fro anyone else.

Angad – well, that will certainly save a lot of time. It's all happening around here. There are lot of thingd to be repaired which will take time.

Kripa – good heavens, you have been busy. Where's all the money coming from?

Angad – you.

Kripa – I don't come with a dowry, angad. I daresay I'll be cut out of my ex-father's will without delay. I do have a little nest egg from my grany my mom's mother. I wish she lives here, but she went to live in England after my grand father's death. You're welcomed to that.       

Anagd – why how very sweet of you. (angad lightly encircled her waist) that money is yours. Don't feel bad for not coming with dowry. I told you about my grandfather.

Kripa – so he left you the money as well.

Angad – I guess I was the only one he could think of. One way or other we have enough. He lifted her hands and kissed it .

Kripa – how upsets that's going to make your relatives! They were hoping it was all going to fall down.

Angad – instead of which I get to marry the princess and share the pot of gold. (gazing deeply into her eyes) now tell me what's causing all this suffering? Take your time.

Kripa – mum had an affair before she was married.

Angad's strong hand closed over her trembling fingers.

Kripa – the man I thought was my father all these years isn't my father at all. Can you beat that?

Angad – (felt the blood drain from his own face) how could they do that to you?

Kripa – apparently he was married with two kids, but he wasn't worried about committing adultery. Neither was mum, he must have been someone even then. Mum decided she couldn't break up his marriage. She married suryaban sharma instead.

Angad – so that explains it.

Kripa – at least mum didn't consider a termination.

Angad – thank god for that! So how did this all come out? I mean what provoked it after all these years?

Kripa – you know the old sayings. Eavesdroppers never hear well of themselves? I could hear them arguing when I arrived back at the house for lunch. They never argue. I heard my father say, "she's not mine! How can you expect me to love her? She's not my blood!"

Angad – go on, you have to get this off your chest. (coffee was already made) do you want milk or cream?

Kripa – black's fine (she spooned a teaspoon of sugar into the mug and absently began to stir)

Angad – have another teaspoon of sugar. You're awfully pale. Wasn't your mother worried about your driving?

Kripa – she begged me not to go but I couldn't stay in his house another moment. He's only tolerated me because of mum. He's still madly in love with her. So what the hell's wrong with me? Am I so unlovable?

Angad – (felt a rush of anger on her behalf) that's the last thing you have to worry about.

Kripa – you really want to marry me now? I could turn into a pure liability, well? (looking straight into his eyes) answer me angad.

Angad – you aren't going to order me to marry you, are you?

Kripa – not unless you want an i*********** bride. Mum wouldn't even tell me who my real father is. He knows.

Angad – who, mr. sharma?

Kripa – don't worry, I'll find out.

Angad – then what would you do?

Kripa – I don't mean to embarrass my real father, angad. I just want to lay eyes on him. Can you understand that?

Angad – kripa, god! (he was debating whether to pick her up and carry her upstairs. If ever a girl needed loving it was this beautiful traumatized young creature) of course I understand. It's hard to feel whole when you only know the identity of one parent.

Kripa – my entire childhood and adolescence lacked wholeness. I think I'll be content once I know who my real father is. I can watch him without his being aware of it.

Angad – what if you're not? What if you're impelled to go up to him and tell him he's your father? He'd have to remember your mother so he'd to know who you are. You resemble her greatly.

Kripa – clearly I resemble her physically, but not in other ways. I can't believe she's lied to me these years. Couldn't she have concocted another story? Couldn't she have married someone else but suryaban sharma? He's a mean man at heart. How could anyone disavow a baby, a little girl, a dutiful daughter?

Angad – it's no excuse, but I suppose he felt tremendously insecure about your mother. She's obviously never loved him.

Kripa – then why didn't she divorce him? She shouted back.

Angad – I can't find an acceptable answer, kripa (he stared at her, his eyes full of compassion) who knows what goes on inside a marriage anyway? He must have been doing something right.

Kripa – not by me! But he thought he was the perfect husband. I've even heard him say so. (she picked up her coffee mug again) this is good.

Angad – when did you last eat? (his eyes moving over her inch by inch)

Kripa – breakfast, I was coming in for lunch when my whole life was shattered. Soon as I heard their voices I knew something awful was going to happen. I think he's actually relieved it's all out in the open. He no longer has to pretend.

Angad – should I ring your mother and tell her you're with me?

Kripa – no, angad no!

Angad – whatever she's done or had to do she loves you, kripa. She'll be frantic.

Kripa – don't worry, she won't kill herself, her voice as dry as ash. She knows where I am anyways, I mightn't have told her, but she'll guess. Even my dear old ex –father, guessed I was heading here. That's three ex's in my life. Ex – mother, ex – father, ex – fianc.

Angad – your mother's always your mother, kripa. Nothing's going to change that.

Kripa – do you realize if all this miserable business with prithvi hadn't happened I probably would never have found out?

Angad – it has occurred to me (thinking however desperate she felt she looked absolutely beautiful)

Kripa – we've all been living a lie. I could have married prithvi in a few weeks time.

Angad – I imagine mishti would have had something to say about that.

Kripa – lord, you'd think the accident and all the stress would have triggered a miscarriage.

Angad – you didn't want that to happen?

Kripa – oh, my god, no. dear god no. mishti's tough and her baby is tough. They'll have to be. Do you mind my burdening you with all this?

Angad – mind, how? Haven't you applied for the position of my wife? I have your application – which I will frame – in my pocket.

Kripa – well, I don't much care for anyone else. So what's the answer? Or do you want to hear from more women?

Angad – yours was the winning application.

Kripa – the only application.

Angad – I won't hold you it against you. Now as soon as we settle you in I'll have to think about feeding you.

Kripa – I'm not hungry, thank you all the same, angad.

Angad – well I'm. I won't feel happy eating alone. And now I think of it, you didn't mention in your application if you could cook?

Kripa – and you didn't ask. I can cook. My mother taught me. I'll be never a good cook as her. You know her didn't want a housekeeper. He didn't want anyone but mum I can see that now.and mum acted as though she owed him. What for? For his marrying her when she was pregnant? Is that what mishti will have to settle for?

Angad – don't upset yourself. Prithvi and mishti have to solve their own problem.