hey guys....i have finally mustered enough courage to post a fanfiction of my own ...this is my first one so please excuse the mistakes and please do comment.......

We were strangers,

On a crazy adventure....................

Never dreaming how our dreams would come true,

Now here we stand,

Unafraid of the future,

At the beginning with you..........

 

I now realize that Mayank Sharma had affected me like no one else had. I had been a diva of my small town of Morena. So I had a huge fan following, comprising of boys ranging from nerds to dudes. But none of them had ever incited feelings in me like Mayank had. Of course, at that point of time, I was quite oblivious to those feelings. The only thing that struck me odd in my behavior was the fact that I kept going back to Mayank even as he spurned me. However, I was the kind of girl who will shut her eyes and ears rather than admit that something strange was going on with her. So I was quick to write off those little oddities. I didn't think anything of the fact that I forgot Mayank's rude behavior as soon as I looked into his eyes?.. I conveniently refused to see what was right in front of me. Looking back, I realize that I had already started falling for him. Why else would I try to justify all his quirks? I had become protective about him too. I couldn't stand it when someone made a negative comment about him. Then came the academic meet. The trip was a misadventure from the very beginning. I missed my bus while trying to bargain for Mayapari, got drunk in a village and got locked in a house, alone with Mayank, on Valentine's Day. However, Mayank was there with me every step of the way, helping and supporting me. He voluntarily missed the bus because I had, helped me when I was drunk and danced with me in the rain, during Valentine's Day. In this trip, I saw another side of Mayank. His soft side????? a side, which was usually hidden from the world, under layers of irritation and rudeness.  My feelings for Mayank had also started changing. I can't pinpoint the exact moment when I started feeling differently for Mayank?..maybe it was during our dance in the rain or maybe it was when I didn't want to let go of him in the village barn. But each touch of his sent shivers down my spine. Suddenly, the smell of his cologne was intoxicating. When he saved me from the goons in Ahmedabad, dislocating his shoulder in the process, I felt his pain. I couldn't articulate my feelings just then but I knew that I was safe with him. The trip had helped us bond. We had become closer and I hoped that our bond did not break. But that didn't happen. As soon as we came back, Mayank began distancing himself from me. During this period, Mayank managed to thoroughly confuse me. He had wild mood swings. Things reached a climax at the holi party, when Mayank got drunk on bhang which was meant for Shukhla sir. He started dancing with me but this dance was somehow different. It was as if  he wanted me to understand something. Something he was afraid to share out loud. His touches felt more intimate. I couldn't understand it. Samrat and even Gunjan were much more perceptive than I was. Samrat had understood what I had failed to understand. He had guessed that Mayank had feelings for me and deep down, I reciprocated his feelings.

 

And life is a road and I wanna keep going,

Love is a river I wanna keep flowing,

Life is a road now and forever,

Wonderful journey............

 

During the Academic meet, I was well aware of my changing feelings towards Nupur but I was afraid to acknowledge them. I had realized that I was greatly attracted to her, not because of her beauty, but because of the person she was. Yes, she was beautiful but her personality far outshone her physical beauty. And I was, slowly but steadily, falling for Nupur, the person. I resented any guy who even dared to look at her. The anger that I felt for Lucky Mishra, when he hinted that Nupur was a woman of loose virtue, was inexplicable. It magnified into white,  hot rage when I realized that it was he who gave Nupur alcohol in the village. That night when Nupur was drunk, I felt an urge to protect her. That urge came back, magnified tenfold, when I saw the goons in Ahmedabad teasing Nupur. I dare say I had lost control on my anger that day. And that is what scared me. Mayank Sharma never lost control. I have always retained control over my emotions even in the direst of circumstances. And now I was losing focus and control because of a girl. After we came back, I mistakenly drank bhang and made a fool of myself in the Holi party. It was then I realized that how dangerous the situation was becoming. I had almost confessed my feelings to Nupur. So I began to distance myself from her. I was continuously rude to Nupur and tried to maintain a distance. I did everything I could to avoid her. But instead of taking offence, she would always come after me apologizing for something that wasn't even her fault. It broke my heart to see her like that but I reasoned with myself that this was the right thing to do. Ma was also disappointed with me. But I was adamant. However my resolve would grow weak by just looking at her. So as not to stray from my promise to myself, I convinced myself that she would never reciprocate my feelings. So well did I convince myself that over time this became the only reason for me to avoid her. But my self imposed mission was not easy as Nupur was constantly with me. And Samrat and Gunjan, god bless them, had made it their mission in life to get the two of us together. Then Sheena entered Excel. We hit it off really well. We shared similar interests and decided to study together. Nupur also came to our study sessions but most of what we said went flying over her head. We would talk about advanced Economics and put forth theories about revolutionizing the Mass Media. Nupur would usually agree with whatever I said and never did it once strike me that she was probably not comfortable with our conversation. Now, while Nupur was definitely not stupid, she was not very studious either. So she would have very little to contribute to our intense debates. Things came to a head when Sheena, a talented actress was chosen to play the female lead of the college play and, by some strange twist of fate I was chosen to play her love interest, the male lead. We spent a lot of time rehearsing with each other. Nupur, who had bagged the second lead, had to rehearse separately. So we saw very little of her. So involved was I in the play and my studies that I failed to notice Nupur's changing demeanor.

     

 

I'll be there when the world stops turning,

I'll be there when the storm is through,

In the end I wanna be standing,

At the beginning..............

With you.      

 

The play was possibly my worst and my best experience in my entire college life. Sheena had got the female lead and I was the second lead. I didn't begrudge her the opportunity as even I could see that she was a better actress than I was. I was very happy with my role...........until I heard that Mayank was going to play her love interest. At that moment I felt like I could give anything to make sure I had Sheena's role. And to top it off, Mayank and Sheena had become fast friends. They had a lot in common. Both were near geniuses and great favorites with all the teachers. They studied together, had heated debates on topics that were completely obscure to me. During these study sessions, I felt virtually non-existent. Both seemed to forget that I was sitting with them. When they did acknowledge me, they asked my opinions about elusive, godforsaken theories which I had no idea about. But I had to agree with whatever they were saying in order not to look stupid. In addition to the study sessions, they also spent every waking hour rehearsing their lines together. As the second lead, I had to practice separately. So I hardly got to see them. I tried to be happy that Mayank was making other friends. I really did. But suddenly, my world felt like a huge void without Mayank's constant presence. No matter how much I tried to convince myself that Sheena was not there to usurp my place in Mayank's life and that she was just another friend, the sinking feeling at the pit of my stomach wouldn't go away.

During those cheerless days when Mayank had been busy with Sheena, Samrat had become a very good friend. He, along with Gunjan and Benji would try to cheer me and make me smile. Also, I had a sneaking suspicion that Samrat and Gunjan had a thing for each other. So I would try to play cupid for those two nave children. All in all, their company was fun and sustained me through the worst patch of my college life. I was particularly subdued one day when Samrat stopped me and asked me to accompany him to the music room. He was uncharacteristically serious so I followed him without questions. In the music room I was met by Gunjan and Benji. They sat me down and asked me what was bothering me. They informed me that I hadn't been the same Nupur they all knew. I was more depressed and subdued than they had ever seen me. I tried to lie my way out by dismissing my strange behavior as their imagination, but Samrat was not to be deterred. Abruptly, he asked me, "Is it the friendship between Mayank and Sheena that is bothering you?" Now, I never took Samrat to be such a perceptive person, so the question caught me off guard. Without giving me time to think, he ploughed on, "Nupur, Sheena is another friend to Mayank, just like you are." That statement hit me hard. I was nothing special to him. I was just another friend. The question slipped out of my mouth involuntarily, "Am I just a friend to him?" "Do you want to be more?" , quipped Samrat and raised his eyebrows. Did I want to be more? Did I want Mayank to hold a special place in his heart just for me? Did I want my 'happily ever after' with Mayank? Yes, yes and yes. And suddenly, everything was clear to me. My jumbled feelings during the Academic Meet, my protective attitude, my jealousy over his friendship with Sheena, everything fell into place. "Yes", I answered Samrat. "Why?", he asked me. "Because I love him." It was a statement. There was no hesitation. I loved Mayank Sharma. I had admitted it. To myself and to those I deemed my closest friends. And suddenly, the confusion was over and a wave of peace washed over me.

I knew there was somebody somewhere,

Like me alone in the dark,

Now I know my dreams will live on,

I've been waiting so long,

Nothing's gonna tear us apart.............

 

Nupur's drooping spirits might have escaped my notice, but others had been more perceptive. So it came to me as a surprise, when Samrat cornered me in the library one day. Now while Samrat and I had become close friends over time, it was not often that Samrat set foot in the library, even to seek me out. He looked dead serious, in sharp contrast to his usual happy-go-lucky demeanor. He dragged me without a word, to the music room where Benji and Gunjan were waiting. I was supremely confused, but waited patiently for them to initiate conversation. Samrat started pacing while Gunjan and Benji looked on nervously.  "Do you know why we brought you here?" began Samrat. I bit back a sarcastic remark and shook my head. "Are you aware of the change in Nupur?" came the next, surprisingly direct question. "Change?"  I was surprised. "What change?" , I asked him. "Are you blind, dude? Can't you see that Nupur has changed? Haven't you noticed that she has been feeling lonely and depressed for the past few weeks?" , Samrat was incredulous. My head was spinning. Nupur was feeling lonely and depressed. But why? My confusion must have shown on my face for Gunjan took pity on me and explained the situation to me. I was stupefied. Nupur was feeling ignored because I was spending all my time with Sheena. I realized that in my quest to forget my love for Nupur, I was straying to a path which could cost me my friendship with her as well. I had to remedy that as soon as possible and apologize to Nupur. So I told them as much and headed for the door. "Wait! Mayank. You can do better." This was Samrat. "How?" , I asked him. Instead of replying, he dragged me to the partition and shoved me behind it. Then he rushed out. I sighed, annoyed. I was getting really tired of being manhandled. I had just settled down when he came back followed by a somber Nupur. I got my first good look at her in days. She had dark circles under her eyes which she had tried to hide under copious amounts of concealer. She looked tired and worn out and the cheerful bubbliness that characterized her seemed to have disappeared entirely. I realized with a pang that Nupur was as she was because of me. I started towards her intending to apologize but was shoved back by Gunjan and Benji. I grumbled at being shoved again but became quiet as Samrat started questioning Nupur. Through the conversation between them my feeling of guilt increased in leaps and bounds. However, Samrat's skillful questioning led to a startling discovery, which made me forget all about my previous behavior. Nupur said that she loved me. I was numb with shock. Nupur Bhushan actually loved me. Slowly the numbness started to wear off and bubbling happiness rushed in to fill the void. I began to stride out towards her, fully intending to admit my own feelings, but suddenly my original inhibitions came back to me. Would I be able to balance my responsibilities, my commitments and my love? Will love be my undoing? Then, quite suddenly, snippets of a conversation I had with Ma, came back to me. We had been talking about Nupur and Ma had said  'Love is as you make it, beta. It can make or break you. Everything depends on how you look at it. I have faith in you to make the right choice Mayank.'

It was these words that helped me make the most important decision of my life. I walked out and showed myself to Nupur. As soon as she saw me, her expression changed from contentment to horror and finally to extreme embarrassment. A violent shade of red had spread over her cheeks and she looked as if she wanted the ground to split open and swallow her. And by god????.she never looked more beautiful. I walked over to her. She was refusing to meet my eyes. So I firmly held her chin and pushed her face up forcing her to meet my eyes. In them, I saw love for me together with lingering traces of embarrassment and uncertainty. And so, I confessed. I confessed that I loved her. But she still looked uncertain. Then she finally spoke to me and all her insecurities came spilling out. "I'm not as intelligent or beautiful as Sheena, Mayank. I can't match up to the level sophistication that she has. I can't carry myself with her elegance and dignity. She is so much better suited to you. The two of you complement each other. You deserve much better than me." she said all this in one breath. I stared at her, and finally said, "Do you ever stop for a breath?" I could see the barest trace of a smile but it disappeared almost instantly. "I really want you to be happy Mayank." And with that she started to turn away. But I held onto her. "My happiness is with you Nupur. Don't you see? You already take me there. There's nobody more perfect for me than you. I have always loved you and I always will." And then finally, I saw the smile on her face. The smile I had fallen in love with. "Promise?" she asked me. "Always." I replied. As I pulled  Nupur into a hug I heard our audience clapping and cheering. I made a mental note to thank Samrat and the gang and return the favor as soon as possible. He had, after all, been holding out for Gunjan for a long time. And so, after a long time, everything in our world was alright and we were happy. And the world looked like a better place for it.

crystal angel2009-05-13 21:48:24