Chapter Six

K-Shandra

@K-Shandra

Prerna stepped into the Basu house carrying the files Anurag had earlier requested.She looked around the vestibule, while an all too familiar sense of discontent assailed her. When she was younger she had loved to accompany her father there.If she were honest enough with herself, she would admit that she had enjoyed teasing and pestering Anurag. His reactions were never like her brother’s,which was why she had found teasing him all the more enticing. She had missed him, or more specifically teasing and taunting him, when he’d been in London.London had changed him, while he remained quiet and boring, he somehow seemed different. And then there were the hoards of girls who threw themselves at him after his return. Prerna shook her head, for a moment chiding herself. If anyone had told her a year ago that she and Anurag would one day be parents of the same child she would have thought them crazy.

She moved farther into the room only to come face to face with Nivadita. There had been a time when she had thought Nivadita had warmed up towards her, but the woman’s recent actions and words had brought all such whimsical thoughts to an end.

“What are you doing here so early?”

“Anurag asked me to bring these files for him.”

Nivadita looked a the files Prerna held and said “You would use any excuse to get close to brother. Have you no shame?”

Prerna only looked at Nivadita and tilted her head, smiling smugly before replying,“Clearly not, since it is your brother who’s been following me around. You know what, perhaps he has started to remember things, and just as in the past, he wants to keep me close.” Prerna had meant for it to be a taunt, but from the shocked expression on Nivadita’s face she quickly deduced that there might have been some truth to her taunt. Just the thought set free a myriad of conflicting thoughts in her mind. The most prominent being questions about them. Had he remembered their relationship and the fact that the baby he has shown such concern for was actually his?

Prerna ignored the sharp glare Nivadita cast her way as she said,“I have not seen brother or Somalika this morning,” impertinently adding, “But you know where their room is, so take the files to him.”

Prerna bit her tongue. The last place she felt like going was to their room, although she no longer considered it their room. It had been tainted with the presence of another. She did not even want to contemplate everything else that fact implied, only that she has come to hate their room and possibly the very house she was in. For possibly the hundredth time she regretted not leaving the company after coming to know that Anurag was the new owner.  Were it not for the fact that she needed the money to repurchase everything their baby needed, and replacing everything that had been lost in the fire, she would have left. Prerna made her way to the stairs and slowly started her accent. She hoped that either Anurag or Anupam would run into her, at least then she could make her presence known and not feel as if she was intruding.

The Goddess is determined to punish me today,Prerna thought as she came to stand in front of Anurag’s bedroom door. Yes, it was easier to think of it in such a manner: Anurag’s room. That way she could emotionally distance her from it’s past meaning.

Drawing in a deep, fortifying breath, Prerna lifted her hand to knock on the door only for it to be flung open. Startled by Sonalika’s sudden appearance in the doorway, Prerna took a step back.

Sonalika noticed this and said, “And yet again you hang around outside our bedroom door like a pathetic… You know what I can’t even come on the right word. So just cut to the case, why are you here?”

“Anurag called me earlier, he was looking for these files.”

“And you simply had to rush over and give them to him. You know, Prerna, you really should let go of things that are no longer yours. That way everyone will be happy.”

Prerna tilted her head, naturally flicking her hair aside and said, “I take it that by everyone you mean you.”

“Me,mother in law… you know everyone in this house. And perhaps if you let go,Anurag could move on with his life.”

“And who said that is what Anurag wants?” Prerna challenged, her heart racing. She knew that she should not let the woman get to her, but there was just something in her manner that incited Prerna – ever since their first meeting.

“You’re the one who won’t let go of him.”

“Andwhy should I give up something that is mine

“Yours?really? I don’t see you fighting for him, if anything you’re...”

“Komolika, Komolika,” Prerna started and clicked her tongue, but stopped on noticing Sonalika’s startled expression and instead asked, “What happened?” snidely adding,  “Oh, wait, I get it. You thought your disguise was so good that I would not recognize you. Well think again.”

Agitated Komolika snapped back “You know what, Prerna, I think you have really lost it.I mean, perhaps you simply cannot handle all those hormones during your pregnancy, and that is why you have such grand delusions. How can I be someone else, I am Sonalika Basu wife of Anurag Basu?”

“Oh really,” Prerna challenged back shifted the files she was holding and pointed to Sonalika’s forehead,  “Then why is it that Anurag has not marked your forehead with vermilion. You do not have the mark of the wife – just like last time. And just like last time, Komolika, I will not allow you to take what is mine.”

“Oh really?” Komolika challenged.

Prerna pointed past her and said, “The fact that you’re speaking to me like this,means that Anurag is not in the room. And considering the time…” Prerna looked at her watch and said, “ He must have taken up gyming early in the morning… but wait, he called me here. So he didn’t go to the gym. So I guess it’s safe to say I will find him somewhere else in the house.”

“You stay away from Anurag, you will only upset him.”

“Oh really, Komolika, from what a doctor told me – I asked by the way, since the memories pertain to my relationship with him as well. Anyway, the doctor said that if he really wants to regain those memories he’d lost, then he should revisit the places and meet with the people within the first month. But then you made certain to keep him away from everyone and everything during that time, because it suited you. So I will tell you the one thing I know: I have seen when he gets flashes. Anurag knows we share a relationship. So even if I were to leave now, he knows there is something between us. And if there is one thing you should know about Anurag it is that he likes to understand things.You cannot stop that. And no matter how much you change your appearance or your voice, your nature, manners and objectives essentially remain the same. Youre main Komolika. And Komolika’s disposition is what will give you away. And just like last time, when these people who care more for appearances and status come to learn who you are, you will be ousted from this house.”

“You seem so certain of that…” Komolika challenged, however stopped the moment Anurag came into view. She quickly changed her tone and said,  “Anu, baby, there you are, look who’s here.”

Anurag smiled as he stepped closer, “Morning Prerna, give me those.” He took the files and said, “Come, this way, we’ll get to work, I have arranged some tea for us.”

Prerna followed him into one of the guest rooms and looked about in confusion. She noticed a few of his things placed throughout the room. “You’re staying here?”The question had slipped out before she could stop it.

“I find it difficult to sleep with someone else in the bed.”

His words confused her, for they had never had such difficulty. In fact, he’d been insistent on maintaining some form of contact with her, even in sleep. “You never used to.” Again the words slipped out unintentionally and she chided herself, knowing that the argument with Komolika had somehow lessened the instinctive caution she relied on whenever she was around Anurag.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing,never mind.” Prerna quickly countered asking, “What did you need help with this morning?”

“Oh no you don’t…” Anurag quickly replied reaching to turn her to face him, “...you can’t just say something like that and not explain it to me.”

Instinctively Prerna reached up to his shoulders, pressing against them to maintain some distance between them, “You have said it yourself, we are childhood friends, we shared a lot of things with each other.”

“No you don’t,” Anurag said, “I won’t let you dismiss it that easily.”

Prerna’s heart grew heavy. She wanted to tell him, wanted to tell him how much she missed having him close to her. They had spent so little time together, but the comfort she had in the knowledge that she could at any time reach out to him,that he was there, had shattered any doubts. All it had taken was a word or a touch and she would have his full attention. Which was why she’d never felt as lonely as she did right then, Even the realization that he no longer shared a room and bed with Komolika failed to ease the emptiness she felt in the region of her heart.

“Look inside, the answers to all your questions are there.”

“Since when are you so philosophical?” Anurag asked, releasing her from his hold,“You’ve always been more of a romantic.”

“I quickly learned that love is painful.”  

“You know what, you’re worse than Anupam.”

Prerna quickly demanded, “How can I be worse than him?”

“Even though he knows he refuses to divulge any information, it is so frustrating.All he’s willing to do is confirm my questions with a yes or no. Just like you he insists that I should allow the memories to return on their own, which leaves me to think that things are worse than I imagine and no one is willing to tell me.”

Prerna smiled.

“Why are you smiling? What’s so funny?”

“You are,”she said teasingly. “Do you really think I won’t recognize it when you are trying to beguile me into answering your questions?”

“You work for me, so you have to.”

“As your employee I am bound only to matters related to work.” Anurag made to say something however Prerna cut him short, “And as a friend, I have only your best interests at heart.”

Anurag looked at her, his eyes once again screaming for her to meet him halfway on the matter but she found she could not, not this time. Once he remembered everything then she would revisit the situation.

Anurag eventually, but sincerely said, “It would help if you just told me, because I trust you.”

Prerna reached for his hand and clasped it between both of hers and said, “I spoke to a doctor, some neurologist, the other day. And he said that your mind is protecting you from something. What exactly he cannot even guess, but he did tell me that partial amnesia is common under trauma victims. And since we don’t know much about your accident or your mental state at the time, we will have to wait for the memories to come back on their own. But he assured me that your mind will allow things to slip through when it feels you can cope with them.”

“And what about the memories I don’t get back?”

“Perhaps they are best forgotten.”

Anurag pulled his hand from her grasp and moved from her in obvious frustration,stating, “And that is exactly the problem I have with this. The fact no one seems to understand how frustrating this is. And how can anyone determine what I should or should not remember.” He turned back to her, “How do I explain this to you. I have this feeling, it’s like an itchy sensation that tells me there is something really important I need to remember.”

“Perhaps you should not try so hard focus your thoughts on that and just relax your mind. Perhaps that way it would be more open to the memories.”

“What?Have you suddenly become a doctor?”

“Things like that?” Prerna stated, causing him to fall silent for a moment then demand“Like what?”

“Like the way you talk back to me.”

“I don’t understand, what do you mean?”

“With me you will speak your mind, would you have spoken to Sonalika in such a manner?”

Anurag shook his head and said, “No.”

“That is because you instinctively know that I would not take offence, that I will rise up and even challenge you if needed.”

“Since when have you been so serious?”

Since I’m about to become a mother who needs to understand these things. Prerna thought but instead answered,  “When we grow older, it’s inevitable. Come we should get to work. What did you need from me so early in the morning?”

Anurag looked at her for several loaded moments, then said, “First tell me how the baby is?”

Absentmindedly Prerna replied, “The baby is fine, kicking up a storm.”

Instantly Anurag was at her side, his hands on her shoulders as he asked, “Is everything okay?”

Prerna tilted her head in her usual teasing gesture and said, while reaching for his hands, “Everything is fine, it’s just an expression.”

“Oh,”Anurag said, his gaze for a moment lowering to her distended abdomen. “Can I feel?”

“She’s not kicking now.” Prerna said as she released his hands.

“So you agree, it’s a girl.”

Playfully Prerna replied, “More like I relented to your insistence.”

Anurag made to say something but checked himself and then said, “There’s something I needed to arrange with you.”

“Go on.”

“I was planning to go to a showroom in Delhi…”

Even before he could continue Prerna said, “Tell me, I’ll arrange everything.”

“No, we can’t go to Delhi now, the air quality is far too bad for you to come with me.”

“Go with you?” Prerna asked confused, adding, “Aren’t you taking Sonolika with you?”

Anurag visibly double checked his thoughts but the replied, “No. She’ll stay here.This is a separate project anyway.”

“What do you need?”

“The company has a showroom in Mumbai, so I thought we could go there instead. That way I can have a look at everything and leave the logistics up to them.”

“You want me to go with you to Mumbai?”

“Yes.”

“Like this?” Prerna said gesturing to herself. “I get uncomfortable and irritated if I have to spend half an hour in a car and you want to take me across the country?”

“We’ll fly, you can fly can’t you?”

“Yes but…”

“Great,then we’ll arrange it for the weekend, that way I can arrange everything else as well.”

“Everything else?” Prerna asked, confused.

“I need to speak with my attorney and then there’s a new project. So get whatever permissions you need from your family, then make the flight and accommodation arrangements. I want a suite but I don’t know if you would be comfortable with that. You have my diary.”

“I will see what I can arrange.”