Chapter Three

K-Shandra

@K-Shandra

The sun had hardly risen when Anurag made for the door. He had no desire to be at home when the morning rota started. If he were to be honest he needed space between himself, his mother and Sonalika. Everything felt wrong. The entire set up.

His mothers insistence some time back that Prerna decorate his room for the sugah rat, and the fact that they would have known he fatheredher child… He could not understand anyone’s need to inflict such emotional pain on Prerna. It angered him. He was also not oblivious of the venom Sonalika directed at Prerna… Prerna’s eyes could never lie to him, and he had spent the better part of the previous evening remembering every glance they had shared since his return. The meaning they had conveyed had had also changed entirely.And it was that that haunted him most.

She should hate him for inflicting such pain on her, evenif it was unknowingly. And the thought of her ever hating him, even for a moment, was something he simply could not live with.

Back at the house, Sonalika stirred from her slumber. She looked about, at first confused, searching for Anurag, only to notice that his side of the bed had not been slept in. She clenched her fists and seethed,“Prerna, you are staring it again, but that is fine, I’ll take care of you and that brat you’re carrying. Only I will give Anurag children.”

She got of the bed and prepared for the morning, intent on discovering from Anupam what they had discussed the night before.

She managed to catch Anupam just before breakfast, where she ‘sweetly’ called him aside. The boy immediately stiffened, and Sonalika wondered what Nivadita had ever seen in him. “Have you seen Anurag this morning?” Sonalika asked, knowing it was the better option to start with,especially since she suspected that Anupam would whenever given the choice side with Anurag and Prerna. She knew better than to underestimate the boy.

“I think he has left already, I know there was some work he needed to get done.”

“Certainly it could have waited until after breakfast.”

Anupam calmly replied, “Sister-in-law, you should know that Anurag can be very determined when he sets his mind on something.”

Sonalika murmured more to herself,  “Just a pity he never sets his mind to the things that should be important to us.”

“What was that Sister-in-law?” Anupam asked,

“Nothing, Don’t worry,” Sonalika said turning her attention anew on Anupam. “Tell me, Anurag was somewhat troubled when he went looking for you last nigh, he said something about needing to speak with you urgently about something, What did you talk about?”  

Anupam looked uncomfortable for a moment and shifted his weight. He looked over Sonalika’s shoulder but eventually he answered, “You know it is not important for you to know.”

“Really, somehow I don’t believe you… Look, I’m Anurag’s wife. If he’s upset about something then it is my duty to know what that is and to make things easier for him. So by all accounts I have the right to know.”

Anupam again shifted his weight from one foot to the other,all the while thinking of a fitting response. Someone had once told him that partial truths were more believable so he replied, “Anurag was asking about babies, and more particularly why Nivadidta and I have not yet thought of having children.”

“Really, Anurag was asking about babies?” Sonalika asked,and then pondered on it for a few moments, before smiling, “That is good to know.”

“I think seeing as Prerna is pregnant, it somehow must have drawn his attention to the fact that we also should have started a family.”

“Possible,” Sonalika pondered, “I should go see him,” and felt somewhat pleased.

As she walked away from Anupam he smacked his head and murmured, “You idiot, you should not have said anything about Prerna.”

Anurag sat at his desk and checked his watch. Prerna would soon arrive. The thought gave him some comfort but at the same time made him apprehensive. He had no idea as to how he should behave towards her, or if he could even behave normally towards her. He was nervous, and the reason for it continued to elude him. He knew her, she knew him, which was why it should not be that difficult.

Prerna entered his office, carrying him morning coffee,reminding him that he had not yet eaten.

“Good morning,” Prerna greeted him as she placed his coffee on his desk asking, “Security told me you were here early this morning, is there anything you need, should I get you something to eat?”

Previously he would have thought her to be only a concerned employee, but he could hear her wifely concern behind her words and it soothed his nerves. It gave him hope that things could still be resolved, although there were some difficult decisions that needed to be made.

Prerna cleared her throat, causing him to once again focus on her. He recognized the puzzled look on her face, moments before she turned her one hand palm up in his direction, adding, “What happened?”

He quickly sat uptight and asked, “Why?”

“No. It’s just that you look like someone has just taken away your favourite toy.”

Anurag smiled, her response seemed so apt that he could not resist the opportunity to gall her, “If I remember correctly, you were always the one who took and hid my toys.”  

Prerna looked affronted as she said, “That’s not true, I only hid the ones I liked.”  

“And if I remember correctly, that included all my favourite toys?”

Prerna smiled at him, one that actually went to her eyes.His heart seemed to swell in his chest. He liked it when she smiled, liked to make her smile. But there was a truth to her words that served as a damper to his mood. He knew that someone had taken her, his favourite thing in the world,from him the moment they separated them, and for some strange reason seemed intent on keeping them apart. He had to find out who was behind it all. And until then he could not let others know that his memories were slowly returning. He would speak with Anupam and tell his brother-in-law to keep mum about their conversation.

“What is the sudden serious expression for?” Prerna asked,prompting him from his thoughts once again, leaving him to wonder how many times she may have done it in the past.

He looked at her and then asked, “Prerna, I want to ask you something, it’s personal so it’s okay if you don’t answer it.” He saw her hesitation as he continued, “I know you don’t like talking about your child’s father, but I just wanted to ask you one question.”

Prerna folded her arms in which he already knew was a defensive stance, only this time he knew that she was bracing herself against more than his words. “Ask, I’ll decide whether I want to answer it.”

Anurag took a deep breath and braced himself for the worst as he asked, “Do you still love the father of your child.” He noted the sudden jolt as the question registered, knowing it was possibly the last question she had expected from him.

She gently shook her head once before asking, her expression confused, “Why would you ask that?”

“I’ve seen how you often touch your stomach, but at the same time, you tend to get into situations you shouldn’t, given your condition.”

He saw her expression soften, and for a moment thought of the possibility that he had said it to her previously. “I was just wondering.”

Her expression softened and she smiled faintly, “I love him more than my life.” 

“You’re very strong, to carry on during such difficult times and not turn bitter.”

Her hands instinctively went to her belly, and for a moment the felt a twinge of envy, not for the child inside, but for the very reason that he also wanted to do that.

Prerna firmly stated, “I can face anything for my child. It is the one thing no one can take from me.” 

Anurag knew it was out of place but he needed to know.“She’s a real love child then.” Prerna looked at him and he instantly he realized that she had misunderstood him, he quickly added, “No, don’t misunderstand me, what I meant to say that the baby is a result of your love.”

Instantly her expression changed, softened, as a gentle smile graced her lips, “Yes.”

He took courage from her words.

Prerna turned from him and said, “I’ll arrange for some breakfast for you.” Just then she grunted, her one hand going to her side.

Anurag shot out of his chair and was next to her within moments, “Prerna are you okay, is the baby okay.” Without thought he reached for her. 

Prerna held up her one hand, the other one rubbing the side of her stomach, causing him to lift his hands from her. “I’m okay, it’s just the baby kicking my ribs again.” She looked at him and added, “It’s okay, it gets a little overly jubilant at times. I’ll be fine in a moment.”

Anurag looks at her belly and then asks without giving his request any thought, “Can I feel.”

Prerna looked at him with obvious uncertainty. It was only then that he realized exactly what it was that he had asked. He was about to revoke his request when she took his hand and guided it into position. His fingers instinctively curved and shaped into position. His breath caught and his heart thudded as he waited for the baby to kick. Several moments later he said, “I don’t feel anything.”

“Be patient, the baby does not kick all the time.”

He felt her hand press against his, moments before he felt a pressing sensation under his palm. It caused his heart to race even faster,while his mind focused on only that sensation. Wonder filled him. The knowledge that it was his child caused a lump to form in his throat. He swallowed against it while elation bubbled forth. He had some time to come to terms with his discovery the evening prior, but the incredulity of the moment threatened to overwhelm him. He cleared his throat, allowing his fingers to rub the area. Her grasp did not go unnoticed as he said, obviously addressing the baby, “You shouldn’t kick your mom that hard.” In response the baby kicked again. Anurag looked at Prerna and said, “I think she is going to be stubborn like her mother.”

Causing Prerna to challenge. “Really, and just how do you know it’s a girl?”

“I decided, it’s a girl. She will be beautiful like her mother, all the boys will fall madly in love with her.”

Prerna looked at him and lifted her hand threateningly as she said, “Don’t go and curse me with problems even before my child is born.”

Anurag held up his hands in surrender, “Her father will be a lucky man indeed, to have both a beautiful wife and daughter.”

“You do realize that there is only a fifty-fifty chance that you can be right,” Prerna challenged him, but her eyes betrayed her, the glow in them had left.

Anurag prepared to provoke her, hoping to rekindle her mischievous nature when Sonalika entered his office. Her sharp demand of, “What’s going on here?” Not only drew their attention but had them turn to look at her.

Anurag shrugged his shoulders and said, “The baby was kicking, I was just curious.”

Sonalika looked at them with suspicion, especially Prerna. Her eyes sent piercing daggers at Prerna as she sweetly said, “Yes, I believe you and Anupam were discussing babies last night. But I’m certain it will be just a matter of time before we’ll share such good news with the family.”

Anurag could not understand what Sonalika was talking about, for they both knew that they had not been as intimate, just as he knew there was no chance of them ever being intimate.

Prerna must have picked up on his discomfort for she turned her attention to him and said, “Has Anupam shared good news with you? And you haven’t even told me. Shame on you!”

Anurag for a moment looked at her, not knowing how he could even start to explain what they had discussed. But it was as if she had given him a way out of the situation.He would not for even a heartbeat deny that his discovery the previous evening had been the best news he had ever received. Shocking but good. He had no reason to deny it, just as it was not his fault if anyone misunderstood the meaning of what he said. Thus he calmly replied, “Yes he did.”

Prerna smiled and sincerely said, “I was wondering when he and Nivadita would conceive. I’m happy for them.”

Somehow it seemed too much, for she had been abused enough by his family’s demands – were he to believe Anupam. But Anupam had no reason to lie to him. 

Sonalika appeared a little lost in the conversation, while Prerna honestly appeared to be genuinely delighted by the news.

“Anyway,”Sonalika said, once again drawing attention to herself. She looked at Anurag,before her eyes flickered to Prerna as she said,  “I think we should also have a baby. That way they will both have companions and playmates as they grow up.” Sonalika turned her attention towards Prerna as she continued, “Don’t you think so? Sibling companionship is so important. Perhaps you should think of having another… oh, wait, I forgot your husband is not around.”

Anurag saw Prerna stiffen her spine. She tilted her head to the side. Somehow he knew that she was going to give just as a biting reply. “Tell me, Sonalika, just how is it that you know anything about my husband?”

Sonalika for a moment looked uncomfortable, but answered, “Oh, Mrs. Mohini told me that he had left you. I’m so sorry for you?”

Prerna shook her head as she replied, “Sorry to disappoint you, but you are sorely mistaken… My husband is with me, no matter what you think.”

“Really and how is that?”

“My husband did not leave me, someone tried to come between us.”

Sonalika looked at her with something akin to mock disbelief, “Well I would say she succeeded.”

“That remains to be seen.”

Sonalika taunted in reply, “Oh, you seem to have a lot of faith in him.”

Outright Prerna replied, “I know him, and I trust what we share.”

“You know,Mother-in-law was right… You have a problem with accepting reality.”

“You’re one to speak,” Prerna challenged.

“Watch your place, Prerna Sharma. You work for my husband, I can get you fired and thrown out of here in no time.”

“Then do it.”Prerna challenged, “I would be happy to leave.”

Anurag stood stunned at the interaction while Sonalika appeared visibly shocked at Prerna’s defiance.

“Now if you don’t mind I have work to do, so I will leave you to your husband.” And with that Prerna left a seething Sonalika in Anurag’s office.