Chapter 39

TiaMaaaaa

@TianaWrites

~39~

⚠️Trigger Warning: Mentions medical condition. Emotional update.

She unlocked the door and entered inside. She looked at the clock which showed 4 pm and decided he would still be in office. Thinking of making something for him, she walked to the kitchen but stopped short when she saw the light on and the bathroom door ajar in his room. She quickly walked in to see him bent over the washbasin still in his coat and suit, throwing up. Rushing to his side she quickly rubbed his back and held his arms steadying him. He gulped in deep breaths and turned to see her. His eyes wide and full he tried hard to talk something sensible through his erratic breaths. She kept mumbling prayers as she held him and he turned around to throw up again. A few minutes later, he looked up his breaths much regular than before. She splashed water and helped him clean. Seeing him steady, she helped him out the door and made him sit on the bed. Switching on the air conditioner, she helped him out of his coat and reached out to remove his shirt. He caught her hand and nodded in negative. Barely audible he said

"I will do it..."

She glared at him through the unshed tears.

"Shut up..."

She quickly undid the buttons and removed his shirt. Propping up pillows by the headboard, she made him lean there and poured him a glass of water. He took it from her hand and she turned around to find her phone. She quickly searched for the doctor's number when his voice stopped her.

"If you are calling the doctor, don't... this has nothing to do with my head..."

"How do you know?"

"Because this has happened before too..."

"Meaning..."

"Sit down, Anu... I am better now..."

"Better.... what better... you couldn't breathe... Ok enough talk... let me talk to the doctor now..."

"Not necessary, Anu... it was a panic attack... nothing else..."

"Pa.. Panic attack?"

"Hmmm..."

She sat down by the foot of the bed, her head in a whirl. Trying to gather her thoughts, she asked him

"Why?.... The truth, Anuj... please.."

"I thought you wouldn't come back..."

"I promised I would... didn't I?"

He looked down unable to meet her gaze.

"Anuj?"

"I already lost you to that house once... everytime you go, I... I get memories of the first time... and it happens.... just like it happened then"

"You got a panic attack the time I got married."

He nodded and she covered her face with her palms and let the tears that she had held back from the time she saw him bent over flow. He moved towards her and held her in his hands. Not feeling strong enough after the episode, he leant forward and rested his head on her back.

"It's okay, Anu... I am ok..."

She shook her head and spoke through her tears.

"26 years back I didn't know you... but now... now it's not ok... not ok at all... why... how?"

He softly rubbed her back.

"Why Anuj... why? You asked me to let you fight my battles with me... why don't you let me do the same for you? Why should you suffer alone? Why... why couldn't you tell me not to go?"

"I did try to stop you..."

"But you didn't... you told me everything about that house... but you never told me what it meant to you..."

"I couldn't... I couldn't 26 years back and I couldn't today..."

"Why?"

He pulled back held her shoulders and made her face him. Cupping her cheek, he said 

"You know why..."

She pushed his hand away.

"I don't... I really don't..."

"Anu...?"

"26 years ago... I can understand... I didn't belong to you... but now... I am yours... all yours... couldn't you have said 'Anu, it hurts me if you go'... had you told that I never would have gone there and I did promise that I would come back... yet you couldn't believe me..."

"I can't stop you because of me..."

"Why not?"

"Anu..."

"What Anu, Anu... you always keep saying 'my Anu'... 'mine'... 'my very own'... are all those just words?"

"You know it's not..."

"If you really did believe it... then what is making you so afraid... all these days I was so happy that you considered me yours... now you get panic attack because you thought I belong there... How?"

"Anu... it's not..."

"Not what, Anuj? I belong to you... all of this is yours... How do I make you believe it... I..."

She clutched his vest and pulled him close to her, raising her head she planted her lips firmly on his and kissed him. The kiss was rough and demanding from her side and he surrendered himself to her. As they parted for breath she moved back looking at his swollen lips.

"Do you believe at least now?"

He leaned back on the headboard and pulled her towards him. As her head hit his chest, he placed a soft kiss on her hair. They sat there in contented silence. His soft breaths caressing her face, she let her hand roam over his bare arms feeling the toned muscles with her palms and let out a sigh of pleasure. He smiled.

"You do love my arms don't you, Mohatarma..."

"I love all of you, Bholuram..."

He felt his heart race and his breath hitch. He felt his eyes fill up and she looked up at him. Seeing his tears, she moved away a little scared.

"Are you ok? Is it... is it coming again?"

"No no....no..."

"Then... what.."

"This is the first time you said that you loved me..."

She looked surprised.

"But didn't you know that..."

"I did... I did... but hearing those words I have so longed for... it's just..."

He pulled her back to him again. Nuzzling his nose against her ear, he said

"Say it again..."

His lips teasing her ears, she felt her cheeks color up rapidly. The throb down under intensified as warmth flooded her body. She opened her mouth to say what he wanted but words failed her. She moaned his name as she felt his tongue touch her ear.

"Anujjjj...."

"Mmmmm..."

His lips had moved lower to her jaw

"I..."

"Mmmm"

Still lower

"Lovvv..."

"Mmmmm..."

Lower again

"Youuuu.."

He tilted her chin and rewarded her with a kiss.

***