Chapter 5
He had lot of questions in mind. How would she react when she sees him? Would she ask him why he came suddenly? Would she find it strange if he told her he came all the way to see her just because of a bad dream? How would she react after seeing him? But all he could see was her falling unconscious. He patted her cheeks and shoulder but she didn't wake up. He carried her inside and looked around. It wasn't difficult to find her room. He made her lie on her bed and went to the kitchen. He was worried that she had injuries and on the top of it, she fainted. He came back with a glass of water. She became conscious when he sprinkled water on her face.
"You here?", she asked him still not recovered from the shock."First tell me what happened to you?", he asked as he sat besides her.
"This..", she looked at her bandages for a second and continued, "It's nothing. Why are you here? Is everybody fine there? Daadi is fine na?"He felt hurt hearing her say nothing.
"Nothing? Like what? You took up any new mission to prove something here?", he said looking away.She was hurt by his insensitive remark and gave him a piercing look.
"No use in looking like that", he said looking at her and continued, "When are you going to start telling me things?", he said casually as he placed the glass on the table nearby.
"When you start listening to my words", she replied.
"And you would tell me only truth?""If you had the heart to believe my words"
He didn't continue and she didn't tell ask him to. Both of them remained silent for few moments until they heard someone knock the door. Abhi asked her to stay and went to the door. He was shocked to see Suresh at the door and Suresh was also shocked. Pragya came out of the room to know who had come and saw the two men staring at each other.
"Suresh, you? Please come inside", welcomed Pragya.
"No, Thanks Pragya. It's getting late for College. I just came to give this to you", replied Suresh refusing to come inside. He gave her a box."Mobile? But I don't need this.."
Suresh stopped the box in her hand from moving towards him. He told her to keep it as he had bought it for her and left the place.
"Suresh is here?", Abhi asked being surprised.Pragya closed the door and started answering Abhi while opening the box.
"Yes. We work in the same college. My phone got lost in yesterday's accident. That's why..""You got into an accident?"
"Yes, accident gave me these injuries not any mission", said Pragya as she sat on the bed. The next moment, she felt him hugging her while kneeling down on the floor."Why didn't you tell me this yesterday? No one told me this. Even Daadi didn't tell me.. I even had a bad dream."
"Because no one knows it"He broke the hug and looked at her puzzled.
"You didn't tell it to anyone? Are you crazy?""I didn't want to make anyone..", she tried to give him a reason.
"WORRIED", his voice got a little louder when he completed her sentence."You are not going to do this again. You shouldn't keep things to yourself. You should tell me. From now on, you are going to share everything with me.", he said in a happy tone and sat besides her.
"Now on? What do you mean?", Pragya asked him quietly but puzzled.
"You are going to come with me. What are you going to do alone here?", he said with a smile. But she didn't smile. He realized she didn't even look happy.She told him that she is not going anywhere.
"You are holding on to that day? Listen, I didn't meant to hurt you by asking questions. I was so broken that... You really want me to apologize for that? I...""You need not apologize. It was not your fault. It's just that we can't be... to.. tog.. together", her voice broke as she said this.
"What are you doing? I am not letting you go this time ", he told her as he held her face in his hand.She took off his hands, stood up and said that they always had problems and they didn't have it on their fate to have a happy life together. She told him that it had been about struggles always. He asked her what did she mean by struggles. She reminded him about their journey from the beginning of their marriage.
"So you mean I am your problem?", he asked her directly."No, I am your problem", she replied trying to control her tears. He stood up and asked her why was she always complicating things. He asked her the reason for her talking about problems when all the problems actually got over.
"Nothing is over. Your sister is still against you. I... I lost my sister... per.. permanently. Nothing will change. I cannot bear any more damages. I don't want to bring bad luck into anyone's life", she said looking down.
He grabbed her arms and said, "Bad luck? What rubbish are you talking?""It is the truth"
"What truth are you talking about? You are my lucky charm"
Pragya gave out a sarcastic smile. Abhi sighed and started talking.
"It is only after you came into my life I realized money is not the only thing in life that can help you be happy. I realized how it will be to love someone, how it will be to be loved by someone, how one person can accept you with all your baggages. Most of all I got you. No one else could love me like you."
He hugged her but she broke it after a minute and stepped backwards.
"You are hurting me so much that I am starting to hate myself", he said.
"Please don't blame yourself. I didn't mean it that way", she tried to stop him.
"Don't come near me. Why do you want to convince me when you don't believe in US?", he asked her with tear filled eyes. He tried to leave the place in spite of her telling him not to misunderstand her talks.
Just when he was about to open the main door, he heard her shout "GO!". He stopped."Go from here. Go from my life", she wailed. He found her sitting on the floor and went towards her.
"Why are always going against your heart? I know you want us. Then why are you pretending otherwise?", he asked her holding her chin up.
"We have nothing between us now. Just tell me what's in your heart? What do you feel? I am not that smart to know it all, right. I confess I don't know you much but I love you a lot. Won't you give me a chance to know you? Don't you trust me enough to bare your heart to me?"
She hugged him and started crying silently. He didn't disturb but let her cry as long as she wished to. He heard her whisper something. "I am afraid", she whispered with her face still buried in his chest. She gripped his tee and started crying again.
"I am afraid of losing you again."
He didn't understand what she meant but caressed her hair and asked her to continue.
"I am afraid of problems arising between us. I am afraid that I would make you suffer again. I am afraid I would bring problems into lives of people around me. I am afraid of suffering. I am afraid of losing you again. I would rather be away from you than attaining happiness for a moment and losing it again", she told him sobbing.
He realized that Pragya was insecure and the problem was she blamed herself for every problem around her. If she blamed herself for the happenings, wasn't he also responsible? He decided to do something.
"I agree. I agree to what you say. You need not come with me"
Pragya didn't expect this. It's true that she said that she didn't want to go with him but she couldn't handle that he told it to her.
"We may not have a happy life together. I cannot take you with me."
Each of his words stabbed her heart.
"We won't make a good couple now.", he said paused for a minute. She looked at him wanting to know whether he really meant it.
"But we can try to become", he finished his talk not letting her heart explode.
"I don't want to be just your husband. I want to be your friend, your lover, your husband, your pet, your guide, your punching bag, your teddy bear, your everything. I need your help for that. Will you help me?", he asked extending his hand towards her.
She was confused but it was the first time she felt happy to be confused. Everything was new to her. Her telling what she actually felt, him acknowledging it and them trying to overcome it. Everything was new and refreshing.
She gave her hand and he pulled her closer for a dance.
"We don't have any music playing? What are we dancing for?"
"Rockstar is here and you are worrying about music. Just think about your favourite song in your mind and dance"
"How?"
"How? You should just play your favourite lyrics in your mind..."
"I didn't ask that. You said something before that."
"Oh! You mean helping me. That's simple. Let's become friends first.", he told as he held their hand above their heads and spinned her.
"How?", she asked him as their faces came closer.
"What do friends do? Spend time together. We should also do the same."
"How?"
"I am going to come here every day evening. We talk about my day, my music, your day, your college etc. Just you and me. No one else. No Daadi. No Maa. No Purab. Everyone else forbidden."
She tried to tell something but he stopped her by asking her to tell anything except the word 'How'. Their special dance got interrupted by Daadi's call to Abhi.
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