Chapter 13

ananya.2

@ananya.2

Part 13

When they got up the next morning, Shiva gave Raavi a chance to back out from the trip. She said no. It hurt her to think she’d hurt him to this extent that he was ready to cancel this trip. The trip she planned for them to spend time together. She really hoped they didn’t backtrack all the progress they made recently. Shiva and her quickly got ready and when the car arrived, they got on.  

Shiva sat on the front with Sameer while Raavi sat with Garima. The rest of them were going in the other car. It was a long journey and Raavi was bored. Shiva and Sameer kept talking about sports and business and Garima fell asleep after sometime. Shiva didn’t speak to her even once, and she was upset. When they got down for lunch, they took two tables and Shiva sat with his friends instead of sitting with her.  

“Koi problem hai kya Raavi tum dono ke beech?” Sanjana asked her. 

Raavi shook her head. She didn’t know what to tell her. After lunch, they got back in the car and drove off. Soon they checked into the resort. Shiva and Raavi were shown their room. It was beautiful. Raavi completely forgot about her problems as soon as she saw her room. It was huge. There was a huge window and the view was fantastic. There was even a bathtub inside! 

“Shiva yeh room kitna achha hai.” Raavi said, and then looking at his face, she realised she needed to talk to him. “Shiva, tu mujhse naraz hai kya? Tune pure raaste mujhse baat nahi ki.”

“Main naraaz nahi hu Raavi. Teri feelings ke liye tujhse naraz toh nahi ho sakta main. Tu mere liye kuch feel kare na kare woh teri marzi. Par yeh sab mere liye naya hai. Maine kabhi aisa.. khair chorr. Mujhe yeh sab process karne ke liye thoda sa waqt chahiye.”

Raavi held his hand and made him sit on the bed beside her. “Shiva yeh humara mini-honeymoon hai. Tu mujhse baat nahi karega toh… please hum bas bhul jate hai sab kuch. Actually hum kal ka din hi bhul jate hai. Kuch thik nahi hua kal, family drama aur woh… Ek din rewind kar lete hai jisse sab wapas normal jo jaye. Thik hai?”

Shiva nodded. “Thik hai.”

Raavi smiled and went to change. Shiva switched on the TV but Raavi shut down the TV saying she needed to sleep for sometime. Shiva looked at Raavi. He couldn’t decide how to behave with her. She needed time to accept their relationship but hearing her saying that he shouldn’t expect anything from her side was heartbreaking. Did losing Dev really affect her that much? He was pretty sure she didn’t actually love Dev. It was childhood delusion. But he was wrong.

He had to be rational. It wouldn’t fair to Raavi if he expected more of her. They made no such promises to each other while getting married. It was his problem that he had developed feelings for her, and his feelings didn’t matter when it came to her happiness. Even if she could never love him back, he would still become the best husband to her.   

He went to freshen up and found Raavi awake on bed. She was sitting up and watching TV. Shiva went to fold his shirt and keep it in the suitcase. Raavi watched him carefully. Usually they couldn’t go a second without arguing but he was awfully quiet. His silence was painful. This was such a beautiful resort and they were on their mini-honeymoon. She wanted to enjoy, but he had to spoil everything by bringing feelings in between. 

“Tu toh sone waali thi na?” Shiva asked. 

“Neend nahi aayi. False alarm.” Raavi smiled. “Aaj ka koi khaas plan nahi hai. Raat bhi hone aayi… Hum kuch kare?” 

“Kya karna hai tujhe?” Shiva asked. 

“Kuch bhi. Resort check out kar sakte hai. Ya phir koi game khelte hai. Best!” 

“Game? 2 log?”

“Ludo? Chess?” 

“Tere paas hai ludo ya chess board? Tera dimaag kharab ho gaya hai? Kya anaab shanab bak rahi hai?” Shiva asked. 

Raavi pouted. She wanted to spend time with nice Shiva, not this sadu Shiva. He looked at her and sighed. She was too cute. 

“Achha chal resort dekh aate hai.”

Raavi jumped in joy and immediately wore her dupatta. Shiva wore his shirt and went looked at her. 

“Tu kya yahi sab kapde layi hai?” He asked. 

“Yahi sab matlab? Yeh achha nahi hai?” Raavi asked. 

“Thik toh hai par honeymoon ke liye yeh kapde kuch zyada…. Boring nahi hai?” Shiva asked.

Raavi looked at herself in the mirror. It was her normal salwar. How was it boring? Shiva make a weird face and continued walking. Raavi looked at herself one last time. How was she boring? Then she ran upto follow him. They continued walking around the property. There was a park, a swimming pool, a gym, a spa, a bar and two different restaurants. They walked past everything and Raavi was bored. Shiva didn’t speak at all. He just kept walking beside her. 

“Shiva swimming pool kitna sundar hai… Tujhe aati hai swimming?” Raavi asked, trying to make conversation. 

“Tu jab nadi mein gir gayi thi, tujhe bachaya kisne tha?” Shiva asked. 

Raavi smiled. “Tu humesha mujhe bachane pahuch jata tha. Chahe koi bhi musibat kyu na ho. Tu faltu mein khud ko mera dushman bolta tha. Main bhi faltu mein tujhe apne story ka villain samajhti thi. Tu mera pati hi thik hai.”

Shiva chucked. “Mujhe toh dushman thik lagi thi tu.”

“Please! Tujhe toh khush hona chahiye ki tujhe main as biwi mili. Warna tujhse kaun karta shaadi?”

Shiva looked at her and smirked. “Jaha tak mujhe yaad hai mujhse shaadi karne liye ladkiyan mari jaa rahi thi. Yaad hai woh Jasmine?”

Raavi immediately felt herself getting angry. “Shiva bakwaas mat kar! Tu sirf mera hai. Next time se Jasmine ka naam bhi liya toh tera khoon kar dungi.”

Shiva was about to retort when Sameer called him. He went to his best friend leaving Raavi alone and Raavi huffed in anger. She suddenly noticed Kirti sitting in the bar, so she went and joined her. They hadn’t had a proper conversation since their college days and Raavi missed her. Kirti offered her a drink but Raavi said no. 

“Tu bata tu kaisi hai?” Raavi asked. “Tu shaadi aur reception dono mein nahi aayi.”

“Main toh thik hu but I feel bad for you. Uss ghatiya Dev ne tujhe dump kiya. Woh bhi uss Janardhan ki beti ke liye? Andha hai woh. Tu kitni pretty aur kitni achhi hai. Usse toh much better.” Kirti said.

“It’s okay Kirti.” Raavi said. “Jo ho gaya so ho gaya.”

“Kaise ho gaya Raavi? Tujhe uss Shiva se shaadi karni pari. I mean you could’ve said no. Tujhe toh koi bhi mil jata phir uss Shiva se kyu ki shaadi? Saari zindagi aise compromise karke jeena hai tujhe? Tu bhi life mein khushiyan, pyaar sab deserve karti hai.”

“Main khush hu…” Raavi said meekly. 

“Kaise khush hai tu? Jisse pyaar karti thi usko saari zindagi tujhe kisi aur ke saath dekhna parega aur jisse pyaar nahi karti uske saath zindagi bitani paregi. Raavi main abhi bhi kehti hu tu soch le. Saari zindagi compromise karke jee legi tu?”

Something inside Raavi just cracked. She felt a heaviness setting in her heart. Excusing herself from the conversation, she ran up her room and burst out crying. Kirti was right. She had to live her entire life this way. Just compromising. Now that she’d chosen to live like this, she had to. Plus she had no expectations of love after Dev. She wiped away her tears and looked into the mirror. Yes, she had settled for compromising and she would stay with Shiva. It wasn’t that bad. They were friends and there were lots of couples who were friends. 

She got into the bed and closed her eyes, slowly drifting off to sleep. After two hours, Shiva came into the room. He had been looking for her everywhere, but she had returned without informing him. 

“Ae chipkali, kab se phone kar raha tha tujhe. Phone kyu nahi uthati?” Shiva asked, shaking her slightly. “Khaana nahi khana?”

“Nahi…” She spoke half asleep. “Thand..”

Shiva noticed her shivering. “Ruk AC off kar deta hu..”

But she caught Shiva’s arm. “Shiva thand…” 

She pulled his arm over her shoulders. Shiva understood what she was trying to say. He pulled her back against his chest and held her tightly to warm her. After five minutes, she changed sides, burying her face and chest against his chest for body heat. Shiva didn’t want her to let go, so he increased the temperature of the AC instead of switching it off. He gave a peck on his forehead and drifted off to sleep, holding her close against him.