Chapter 2

Huq

@Fah_huq

HELLUUU!!

Okay, here is the update. Don't know how it turned out. There will be a last part.

Your thoughts are most wanted and criticism is appreciated. 

Bear with the typos please.

Happy Reading.

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PART 2

Raavi sulkily watched Shiva talking with two girls. These chipkalis stuck to him like glue and giggled at his every single word. He kept cracking jokes and smiling with them as if they weren’t making googly eyes at him. She was 77% sure he was flirting too. Rest 33% she didn’t know. Only thing she knew that she didn’t approve of any Shiva talking with any other girls, forget flirting with them. Her Shiva never ever bothered to look at any other girl. He was too much devoted to his store and family to pay attention to anything else. Heck, he even preferred to avoid her, his own wife. She remembered how he looked mesmerised with her on their reception. But all that was momentary. Because the following day came as the doom day in her life. Raavi huffed slightly. She didn’t want to think about that now.She chanced another glance at Shiva. Dev had joined him and all four of them was laughing on something. What was there to laugh so much? Surely no one was doing comedy. It was decided she didn’t like this Shiva. He looked too comfortable there. Raavi closed her eyes sighing. It was a mistake to attend this Godhbharai of Kanta kaki's daughter. But not attending would have been unRaavi like. She didn’t want anyone to get suspicious of her before she found a solution to all this. Actually she should be at home, finding her way back. But no, idiot she chose to get stuck here. She again looked there to see no Shiva-Dev. She turned to the other side only to come face to face with Krish who had a mischievous glint in his eyes,

“kiya, Dev ko dhund rahi hai. Woh toh apne deviyon ke saath gaya”, Raavi glared him,

“main Dev ko kyun dhundungi?”,

“tu hi poore Somnath mein dhindora pith ti hai ki Dev se pyar karti hai”, Krish looked like he had more to say or annoy her. Raavi inhaled, before he do that she would have to do something. She couldn’t bear more of his Dev katha.

“Krish, tu Dhara Di ka favourite hai na?”, he nodded proudly,”tu na meri bhi favourite hai. Ek kaam kar de na”,

“Puchti kya hai bol na”,

“main Dev se pyaar nahi karti, nahi kabhi kar sakti hu. Main kisi aur ko chahti hu.Yeh baat tu jhatphat Dhara di ko pouncha de. Phir tu jisse jisse chahe usse bol de na. Tere liye aaj ka gossip yehi hai”,

Raavi was sure any Krish would love gossip. So she lit herf ire. Now she needed go home and work.

Raavi hastily got up to leave only to be halted by her Maasima who insisted she ate before leaving. Then Dhara di who was force feeding Shiva ordered him to drop her home much to her dismay. She scowled at the back of Shiva's head as he spoke about something while driving back home. She didn’t feel like paying attention and this much talkative version of Shiva was sure to give her migraine. One more point to her checklist, talks too much.

Freshening up, the first thing Raavi did was write down what had happened to her and how. She decided to be practical and use the brain she didn’t use for a long while. Okay, the last line was a Shiva thing to say.

It was not a dream. If it was then she would have woken up by now, for who dreams so long and in so much detail. What if she was kidnapped that night and someone was doing inception with her. Well, she was Somnath's most beautiful girl and Shiva's wife – surely someone could hold grudges against her. They didn't know her cuteness and her husband were enough to kill them. So she tried pinching and falling from her chair to wake up. Nothing changed. She was still here. Not a dream.

What if everyone was playing a prank on her on Shiva’s insistence? Firstly,  why would he go to such length to rearrange a function. Secondly, Kaaki's daughter had delivered a beautiful daughter last month. She, Dhara di and Krish had went to see the baby. Finally, Dhara Di wouldn’t let anyone do such prank with her. So no prank.

It could not be time travel lest Shiva should be a Pandya rather than Shah. He would have hated her mere presence. Also there would have been Rishita as Dev's love. Not time travel then. 

The only other thing remained on her mind was alternative universe. She had read Harry Potter and too many fanfictions on it growing up. At that time she was fascinated with the idea of many parallel universes with different realities and same person having different entities. Right now it felt like a bane to her. She had travelled through universes and landed on the weirdest reality available which was complete opposite of her own. Why??? Why and how?? If such a thing happened then there was definitely some solution to it.

Raavi decided to surf the net on alternative universe. She would surely find something there. There was nothing that couldn’t be found onnet. As planned she spent that night and following two days cooped up in her room with her laptop, going out to only eat to pacify Prafulla and Jagat. She visited every possible site, read every single article but nothing fruitful came out making her frustrated .

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“Uth jaa Raavi. Main wada karta hu tujhse phir kabhi nahi ladunga. Tere har baat manunga. Tujhe chot nahi dunga. Jaise tu bolega aab se aise hi rahunga. Tu joh shirt dega woh pehenunga. Tu bas ek baar uth ja. Raavi.Tujhe chipkali, chudail, dinosaur nahi bulaunga aab. Mujhe aise tang maat kar.Tu aise chup acchi nahi lagti mujhe. Main sharminda hu mere harkato ke liye, maafi bhi mangna chata hu. Ek baar uth ja, phir mujhse naraz reh,mujhe daant, mazak uda kuch bhi kar. Maine tere saath bohat galat kiya hai. Tu joh sazaa degi mujhe manjoor hai. Par aise sazaa mat de. Mujhe chod ke nahi jayegi tu. Uth na, batein kar, lad mujhse. Please Raavi”

Shiva was crying, actually wailing gripping her hand. She could feel that. She wanted to respond. Tell him she was okay. She never planned to leave even if he wanted. But she couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, couldn’t open her eyes. She struggled to say a word or move her hand to no vail. She screamed and screamed till her throat dried up and started to ache.

Raavi gasped as she woke up sweating badly. She looked around. There was no Shiva here. She was still in her Maasi's house. It was just a dream. She dreamt Shiva talking to her and felt him hold her hand. But she didn’t see him. She ran a hand over her wet face. Why did she have to see such a dream now? She had slept last night thinking about Shiva. Well, she was thinking about him all the time. May be that’s why she dreamt about him. She got up to drink some water and settled on her window sill. There was no way she could get any more sleep. So she chose to gaze into the full moon night. Everything was peaceful outside. But a storm full of chaos were happening inside her. She didn’t know a way out. It was as if there was none. Her two days were gone invain. She should see in their local library. There was 99% chances of finding nothing there. Still she wanted to go.

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Raavi spent that day visiting book shops amd roaming around. It felt good to be out in the fresh air after two sleepless day and night. At night,  as she retired to sleep, she thought back to Shiva. He was different from her Shiva still same. They both loved Pandyas and the store dearly. But this Shiva was more soft, talkative and self conscious unlike her Bhoothnath who talked only if needed except for joking with his family, and didn’t give a damn about people. She and this Shiva looked to be good friend. Still she hardly felt the comfort, the ease she had with her Bhoothnath. She couldn’t stop thinking about Shiva. What was he doing now?Did they noticed her absence?  Ofcourse they did. She was gone for almost 4 days now. Her maasi and Dhara Di must have cried a bucket by now. They must be worrying. Her maasi was sure to accuse Shiva and the Pandyas. What did they make out of it? They must be searching for her. What did Shiva feel? He was concerned about her she knew. What if like she came here, the Raavi of here went there. What if she was fooling them pretending as her? No Shiva would catch her in seconds, he would know it was a different Raavi.

Was Shiva missing her? Or did that bhoothnath again misunderstand her absence?  What would her bhoothnath do when she returned? Would he still be angry with her? Would he assume she left him? She didn’t when she started crying and fell asleep there only.

A constant buzzing woke Raavi up from her restless sleep. She had fallen asleep on her window sleep itself. Her phone started ringing again. She got up seeing it on the bed side table. She frowned seeing Dhara di calling and picked it up hurriedly.

“Raavi, tu aayi nahi abhi tak?”, Dhara Di was expecting her there. Why? Was there something special today?

”Kyu dii?”

“kyu!! Bhul gayi? Hum aaj Ahmedabad jaa rahe hai Sanskar ke shadi mein. Kuch hi der mein nikal na tha hume”,

Raavi took a deep breath. Sanskar? He was Shiva and her classmate in school and one of the few friends Shiva kept contact with. Sanskar was close to her too. Was their equation same here? He, in her reality, was yet to get married.

“Pata nahi di kaise phisal gaya dimag se”,,

“Tabiyat theek hai na teri? Main aaun kya tujhe lene?”,

“nahi di. Jaana jaruri hai?”,

“ Woh tera karibi dost hai Raavi, kitna maanse bulaya. Bura lagega usse. Aur humne socha issi bahane Ahmedabad ghum bhi aayenge. Shiva thak ta nahi tarif karte huye uss sheher ki. Dekhna padega na woh saab sach hai bhi ya aise brag karta hai?”,

Raavi wasn’t feeling like going before Shiva's name was mentioned. She didn’t know why, her no mood changed in a single second and just with his name. She wanted to go now. Staying locked in this room would suffocate her anyway. Also she might luck something in the library there.

“Thik hai, dii. Main kuch der main nikal ti hu”.

“Thik hai. Jaldi aana”.

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Raavi smiled at Shiva faintly who looked at her with concern. They were sitting in a hotel to have their dinner before calling it night. Shiva kept glancing at her every now and then. She knew what was going on his mind – she was too silent. Dhara di and Krish had already pointed that out. Even Gaumbi and Dev asked if she was feeling okay. She wanted to pretend all chirpy and excited for their sake but couldn’t. The fact she was still here and found no solution was taking a toll on her. There was a possibility that it had no solution. She could be stuck here for the rest of her life. It was making her heart sink. She wanted to cry at the thought of being trapped here forever. Everyone adored her here, including Shiva. Everything was so peaceful here contrast to her world. No complications, no difficulties, no misunderstanding. Still she didn’t want to stay here. She wanted to go back to her Bhoothnath, smack his head hard and fight with him. Tell him that she could never leave him. He never let her stay in peace when he was around. Now without him, she didn’t feel herself. Only if he saw her inner turmoil. She couldn’t understand why was she missing him this much? She tried not to think all that and instead tried to focused on whatever lame joke Krish cracked earning slap from Gaumbi.

That night, exhaustion caught up to her and she fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow.

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“Woh agar bolega nah toh bhi nahi chod sakta usse. Pan bol neke liye jag na padega. Aye maamikebehankibeti uth aur Mami ke baat sabit karde. Nikal de mujhe yaha se. Pan uth toh sahi. Tere har saza mujhe manjoor hoga Raavi. Maime tujhe bohat hurt kiya, main sharminda hu. pan main tujhe aise nahi dekh sakta, nahi chod sakta...”,

She felt her knuckles become wet. Shiva was crying again. He sounded broken. She tried to reply but couldn’t. She felt voiceless. She kept trying and trying.....

Raavi sat up with a jolt shouting Shiva's name. She took water bottle from her bedside table and gulped down as much as water she could.Her throat was so dried up. As her panting calmed down slowly she thought back to her dream. It was almost the same dream. Crying Shiva pleading her to wake up. It was the second time she was seeing it. And it left a hollow feeling in her heart. Why did it keep coming back? What was it about? What was he talking about- mami, prove? Why did her mind have to imagine him in pain? Raavi sighed looking at the wall cloak, it was already 8? How come she slept so late?How come no one woke her up? She hastily got up to get ready and head out.

Dhara didn’t come to check on her as she and Gaumbi had left to visit some temple nearby and would go to one of Gaumbi's friends house afterwards. Shiva and Krish was too lazy to wake up that early and Dev suggested the couple take it as their outing. He would inform others and they would manage and asked GauRa to not worry.

So now, she, Krish and Dev settled to have breakfast in the restaurant of the same hotel they were staying. They were supposed to be there for 5 days and booked 3 rooms for GauRa, Dev-Krish and Raavi. Shiva lived in a mess there. He joined them for breakfast.

Later, Dev went out to meet some of his friends who settled in Ahmedabad. Shiva took the remaining two to the Pandya store. The store here was much bigger and busier compared to that of Somnath. Shiva along with 3 more workers handled the store. Raavi watched Shiva move around the store with longing. She missed Shiva, even this Shiva's calm presence couldn’t comfort her. She missed bickering with him for petty reasons. She missed watching him work. She knew she had developed attachment to him, but now she was understanding the depth of it. May be she felt more than that for him.This Shiva was soft and caring with her. Till now, he had not called her any names or behaved rashly. Still she missed those names and who named them.

Raavi came out of her thought wincing as Krish had pinched her. He had this teasing look that made her roll her eyes. If it was about Dev again, he would get a black eye.

“kiss ke khayalo mein dube ho”, Not paying him much attention she looked at the counter to find it empty, “aaha, dil ke rahe badal gaye hai teri. Shiva ko dhund rahi hai na? Kuch saman aaye hai, woh dekhne gaya hai. Pan tu bata, tera yeh 180 degree turn kaise hua”,  Raavi frowned at his question then realised what he was hinting about. She lightly twisted his ear,

“tu na jyada dimag mat chala aur zuban ko sambhal. Kuch bhi bolta hai. Batau Dhara di ko kaise tu kaise Krishna banke ghumta hai college mein”,

“Ek bacche ko blackmail karna galat hai na”,

“Baccha!!”, she shook her head at his drama and got up, “Sunn main kuch der yaha ghum ke aati hu. Hotel main chali jaungi seeda. Tum log pareshan mat hona”,

“pan Raavi....”, she hurriedly left not letting Krish reply. She needed to be alone.

That evening found Raavi in the library of the town. She was engrossed in a book that luckily had quite a few information but unluckily it was all theory, assumption, prediction nothing she had not read already.

“Ajeeb hai”, Raavi yelped and almost fall of her chair as someone whispered in her ear. She had closed her eyes in fear and the intruder had put his hand on her mouth along with holding her arm to break her fall.

“Krish zara check karna woh chudail kaha hai”,

Krish?? It was Shiva's voice. Raavi opened her eyes to find him looking around cautiously. She shrugged his hands and sat straight glaring at him and Krish who returned,

“Na bhai, woh chudail apne duniya mein magan hai”,

“shukar kar. Warna isski chik sunke bahar nikal deti”,

She looked at the duo confused,

“Kaun chud...”,

“abbe dheera bol”, Shiva whispered, “tu library mein aake baith gayi, yaha ke rules nahi janti? Keep silence. Aur chudail woh librarian hai”,

“joh tujhpe madti hai pan tu bhaw nahi deti”,

Shiva shrugged nonchalantly. Raavi sighed, here went her peace.

“Pan tu itna kya pad rahi thi joh hume notice nahi kiya”, Raavi shrugged in reply, “itna magan hoke toh tu exam pe bhi nahi padi hogi”

“tum dono yaha kya kar rahe ho”,

“isse kuch books wapas karna tha”,  

Raavi wasn’t shocked. Despite all the illiterate, college drop attitude, she had seen Shiva take interest in reading books. Books that he could simply enjoy and not had to memorize. Another common thing between the two – she noted.

“krish tu jaake ek auto dekh, hum books rakh ke aate hai”, Krish left grumbling. Raavi got up to keep the book back only to be pulled down to sit again. She looked at the culprit questioningly,

“Kya hua Raavi? Tu kuch pareshan lag raahi hai kuch dinose. Agar koyi baat hai toh tu mujhe bata sakti hai”,

That look of concern, she had seen it before, in Shiva’s eyes when the lamp had fallen on her feet or she slipped on the stairs. But something was missing. His eyes held something more, something she wanted to understand but didn’t know if she would be able to. At that moment, Raavi felt tempted to tell him everything – everything about a different childhood, different youth and marriage they shared. But pushing the urge down, she shook her head smiling faintly and got up. She couldn’t tell him.

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Next four days were quite busy for them as they attended the wedding functions of Sanskar. Apparently he was Shiva's best friend here and a close friend to her as well. She met many of her friends in the wedding but didn’t chat with them beyond the pleasantries. She stuck to Shiva and Krish and mostly kept to herself. They too didn’t leave her alone in concern.

It was their reception party and the Pandyas and Raavi were supposed to leave that night for Somnath. Shiva wouldn’t accompany them back as per him his quota of leave was finished. Raavi again took refugee in a corner waiting for the Pandyas. She noted Shiva looked handsome in suit and trouser and she could see many girls swooning over him. But strangely, she didn’t feel that attraction for him which she felt for him, when they were in close proximity. She noticed Shiva dragg a confused Sanskar to a secluded corner. She frowned and silently followed them. She looked at Shiva's serious face and mirrored Sanskar's expression,

“tu yeh kya kar raha tha?”, Sanskar knitted his eyebrows in question, Shiva hit his head lightly, “Gadhera!! Tu Bhabi ke majak uda raha tha? Woh bhi apne ex fiance ka saath milke jiske piche tu kabhi lattoo tha”,

“toh!! Yeh toh normal hai, aur usse aise yeh sab se koyi fark nahi padta. Swara jealous type nahi hai”,

“ Baat jealousy ka nahi hai, Sanskar. Bhale hi tum dono ek saath bade huye ho, ek dusre ko jaante ho pan woh aab biwi hai teri. Tera koyi hak nahi banta tu aise unka food habit ya cooking skill ko leke hase. Aur tujhe kaise pata fark nahi padta, bhabi ne bola?”,

Raavi looked at Shiva in daze as some similar incidents flashed in front of her eyes. She remembered the many times she made fun of Shiva with Dev, even after their marriage and he had always left the room irritated and angry.

“bhabi nah kehti ho. Pan kahi na kahi bura toh lagta hogana unhe. Tu soch tere biwi unki ex fiancee joh ki unka bachpan ka khas dost bhi hai, uss ke saath tujhe aise tease kare jaise tu ne abhi kiya, tujhe zara sabhi bura nahi lage ga? ”,

That meant it was not his usual reaction like they assumed. It was him feeling offended? She never thought about it that way.

“Bura lagna chod. Tujhe aisa karne ka haq bhi nahi. Tu aise hi kisi ke bhi saath bhi milke biwi ka mazak nahi uda sakta. Samjha. She is a human after all”,

“Maafi mangni chaiye na?”,

“Aur special treat bhi deni chaiye. Kahi date pe leke ja Bhabi ko”,

“You are a savior bro”,

“That I know. Now go”.

Raavi missed half of their conversation as her mind was else where already. She kept looking at Shiva as if seeing him for the first time. She had seen him explain things to her before when she was irritated with Rishita’s comments on his dressing sense. He had calmly explained her his point of view and thoughts. That was the first time and last time. That Shiva was lost. Perhaps it was somewhere her fault, she never understood the true him or tried to.

Her reverie broke as Shiva snapped his fingers in front ofher.

“Kaha khoyi hai?”,

Raavi didn’t reply him. She hurriedly got up left the hall all those thoughts clouding her mind.

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Raavi couldn’t believe how dumb she could be? Shiva was right, she would remain a dobi forever. She couldn’t see past Shiva's don't care facade. He was always angry with her since childhood. So she never paid much attention. But now that she thought back to those days she could see a pattern in his reactions every time she made fun of him. She never imagined he could feel bad or hurt for her words and actions. Was this one of the reason of his hate for her? Was this why he was drifting away from her? Was this why he was continuously asking her to leave him, pushing her away? Because she hurt him? But why would her words effect him so much? What was she to him? Mami ke behan ke beti? His childhood sworn enemy? Or he had accepted their marriage and expected something from her. What did she not know? Now that she had this questions, she had to be sure.

Raavi looked ahead at the idol of Shiv- Parvati. She had ran away from the function and took refugee here in a temple nearby. It was mostly empty at this hour of the day. She joined her hand in prayer with tears clouding her vision.

“aap toh sab ke man ke baat jante hai na? Meri bhi, Shiva ki bhi? Toh mere sawalo ka jawab dijiye na? Yeh sab kya ho raha hai hamare saath, kyu ho raha hai? Hum dono hi kyun? Kya main sahi hu? Kya maine Shiva ko hurt kar diya meri baaton se, joh woh mujhse chutkara pana chata hai? Main kya kar sakti hu usse yeh ehsaas dilane ke liye ke meri yeh erada nahi tha. Main kabhi bhi usse chot pouhchana nahi chahti thi. Main bachpan se sirf usske dost banna chaha par woh mujhe nafrat karte gaya. Tab bhi main usse aise hurt karne ke bareme nahi socha. Aaj toh woh mera pati hai, jaisa bhi mera hai. Main usske insult nahi kar sakti. Pan woh aab mujhe kaha milega, kaise samjhaaunga main yeh saab. Woh mujhse itna nafrar kyun karta hai?”

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Returning to Somnath, Raavi stayed locked in her room. She felt despair in her heart. She was alone here. No matter how much love she got here, she didn’t feel home. All her memories from childhood kept coming back to her, her many encounters with Shiva, their fights. They not only fought each other but also fought for each other. He had clearly pronounced in haveli how it was only his right to be her enemy, to hurt. No one else could do that. He wouldn’t allow. What were they? His words kept playing in her mind in aloop. She knew they were changing, he was changing slowly . But her words from past and actions sent him back to hate her more. She couldn’ ttake this feelings. She felt guilty, depressed and lonely. He needed her. Whatever misconception he had, she needed to remove them. He must have believed he could never respect his profession, way of living. So he wanted to be free of her, send her away and not see her face. When did they ever listened to the other. They always did the opposite of what the other demanded. So she wouldn’t let him go, not give into his idiot resolve. She liked him the way he was. She would make him believe her, even if she had to hammer her words in his brain.

Raavj cried and cried till there was no tears left. She felt her heart break. Two days of drowing in self admonishment, she found herself in their town temple early morning. She prayed to the Almighty to send her back. She had magically appeared here. She could go back the same way and only He can help her now. So she sat there demanding to be out of this mess. She couldn’t stay here any longer. She felt herself losing sanity with every passing seconds.

With passing hours the temple started becoming crowded, so she went to the back stairs of the temple and sat there. She didn’t care about time and just sat looking into nothingness. She didn’t want to go back to her Maasi's house. That room suffocated her and reminded her helplessness. So she stayed there.

“Raavi!!!”,  

Raavi looked up hearing her name and saw Shiva looking at her in concern. She kept staring at him blankly, wishing it was her Shiva here.

“Kaha khoyi rehti hai aaj kal?”, she looked at him startled as he gently nudged her shoulder as he sat beside her. “Tab se dekh rahi hu. Aise toh hamesha chapad chapad karti rehti hai. Pan aab tu darshan hi nahi deti Krish keh raha tha. Kya ho gaya? Itna kya soch ne lag gayi?”,

She hesitated as she weighed between to tell him or not. She felt he would be able to give her the answers to her questions. After all, it was his alternative self.

“Tu mujhe bata sakti hai. Main koyi extra sawal nahi karunga ”, Shiva told her reassuringly. Raavi decided to tell him their history,

“yaad rakhna koyi aur sawal nahi”,

Taking a deep breath, Raavi started to tell Shiva everything about her and Shiva as a story of a girl and a boy, who were childhood sworn nemesis courtesy to the girl's Maasi, how they grew up fighting and hurting each other, how they were tied in unwanted matrimony, how instead of coming close they started to drift apart more than ever. Shiva listened to her with patience, asking some questions in between,

“saab bikhar chuka hai aab”,

“kya woh ladki janti hai uska pati kyu aisa chahta hai”,

“kyun ki woh usse nafrat karta hai”,

“sirf nafrat? Sirf nafrat hota toh usse uss ladki ko hurt karni chaiye, usse aise rishtey mein bandhi rakhni chaiye jisee woh khush nahi hai, kaid kar rakhni chaiye, naki azaad kar deni chaiye, woh khud dur bhag raha hai aur usse mauka bhi de raha hai usse chod dene ka. Sach mann koyi aur hota toh usska ansu, dard ya khushi ke ek boond bhi fadak nahi padta. Itna gussa nahi aata apne biwi ko taklif mein dekh ke, usske saath na khush dekh ke. Balki usse khusi milta”,

“tu kehna kya chahta hai?”

“Yahi ki yeh bhi toh ho sakta hai na, ki woh insecure ho.Tu ne kaha uske biwi ke dost ne uska majak udaya, woh uska layak nahi kaha. Jahir hai usske man me shak paida huya hoga. Woh apne aap kk unworthy mann ta ho",

“pan Shiva bachpan se aise taane sune hai. Usske liye parivar ke alawa kaun kiya kehte hai kiya nahi woh saab mayine nahi rakhta”,

“ha pan tu ne hi toh kaha woh ek adarsh beta hai joh apne parivar ke liye heera hai. Usske parivar usse acche jante hai, aur woh jaisa bhi hai unko naaz hai aur woh yeh baat woh ladka jaanta hai. Pan usske biwi ke liye toh woh wahi hua na, ek option, compromise. Agar mauka diya jaye toh usske kabhi bhi khud ke liye usse choose nahi karti na? Yeh toh usske saath hadsa hogaya, shadi karni padi aab adjustment karni pad raha hai. Tune jitna detail bataya na, ek baat toh clear hai yeh tere joh ladka hai bohat deep insaan hai. Usske liye kuch hota hai toh strong li hota ha,  ya to na hi hota. Sirf nafrat ke karan woh nahi chahe ga joh usse deserve nahi karta woh usske saath adjustment kare zindagi bhar. Kyunki saare umar usse yeh baat khayi jayega, ki kisine uske wajase, uske parivar ke liye sacrifice ki. Khush na rehte huye bhi compromise kar rahi hai. Woh insecure hai ki woh kabhi kisika choice nahi ban sakta, apne khudke biwi ka bhi nahi. Tere hisab se dono mein kabhi mel nahi tha, complete opposite, isliye shayad woh khudko undeserving samajh raha. Shayad woh ladka chahta hai woh dono shadi mein chahat se bandi rahe, majboori se nahi. Usski biwi usse khud ke liye apnaye naki adjustments kare ”

Raavi was dumbfounded. She could never have thought that way. He thought himself to be unworthy of her. He was fighting her, pushing her away for her only. So that she got what she deserved!!!  Now his remarks made more sense. Why his voice had so much pain in it when he compared himself to zameen. Why he every time ran away if asked the reason behind his behavior. Before marriage, he never hesitated to declare his hatred. But recently she hardly heard it. Instead the night he came drunk, he said her hatred for him wouldn’t go anywhere. Why couldn’t she see all this? He was drowning in his own miseries and lashed out at her. Was he hurting her so that she ran away? What was he doing?

Raavi found herself panicking. What was she going to do? How was she going to mend all this? He was hurt and might never heal if she did nothing. She needed to do something. But how!! She felt herself losing in a dark abyss and fainted.

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Raavi slowly opened her eyes clutching her head. It was aching like anything. She looked around disoriented to see Maasi and Dhara di looking ather with concern. They were literary hovering over her making her feel suffocated. She slowly sat up in the cot with help and looked around. She was in Pandya niwas and everyone from Pandya family and her family was present there. Even Hardik Bhaiwas here. Why did they gather again?

“Aap saab mujhe aise kya dekh rahe ha? Kuch huya kya?”,

“hua nahi hoga”, Dhara's bright smile brought a unsettling feeling in her stomach, “pehle tu bol, kaisa lag raha hai”,

“thik hu main Dhara di”,

“toh phir yeh khabar sunke tu double thik ho jayegi”,

Raavi looked at their beaming face and turned to Shiva who had a question mark on his face much like hers,

“ha ha ussike bareme. Tum dono ko kya laga bataoge nahi toh pata nahi chalega. Hamare do aankhe peeche aur do aankhe samne hai aur lambiii sa sixth sense”,

“haa bhai, aise chupane ka kya zaroorat tha? Tension mein tu kitni bimar pad gayi he, tu meri dekhri che, tu bolti toh hum mana thodi na karte. Apas mein suljha lete. Kyun Suman ben?”,

Raavi would have loved them more if they came to the point directly, luckily Shiva spoke her mind,

“Kya dii seeda seeda bolo na baat kya hai, kya gol gol ghum rahe ho?”,

“baat yeh hai ki hum jante hai tum dono ek dusre ko pyar karte ho. Pad dar rahe ho batane se”,

What!!!!! No no no!! What gave them such impressions? How did they assume such thing?  Did Dhara di take the responsibility of wrong assumption in all universe?

“pan dii aisa kuch.....”,

“aab sharma maat. Hume Raavi pasand hai. Tujhe ghabrane ka zaroorat nahi”,

Gaumbi tried to reassure them. But Raavi felt anything but reassured.

“aur hum ne tay kiya hai issi hafte tum dono ki sagai hogi aur agle mahine shaadi. Aur aaj hum roka kar lenge”,

That’s when the decorated plates and chunris came to Raavi's notice. No, she couldn’t let all this happen. She was already married. Married to someone who cared for her to an extent that he was hurting both of them. She couldn’t get tied to someone else even if he was more polished version. She wanted him. Raavi realised she loved Shiva in her own way and she herself didn’t understand how. She wouldn’t ne able to live without him. She was attached to him, affected by him and was sure would love him with all her being. She was sure he wouldn’t hesitate to bare his heart and soul to her if she made him believe in him, her, them. She needed to go back now, like right now. One more moment here she would end up with chaos everywhere. So she decided to do what Raavi 1.0 always did. Take a drastic step. Raavi hastily got up and made for the knife in the table. If this was her dream, she would wake up in her world, with Shiva. If not, then she would be happily watching from above. She might even get her wish of haunting Shiva. But not any more second in this stupid place. With that thought she ran the knife through her right slit. She felt a sharp pain in her head before losing her consciousness.