Epilogue

Miss.M

@Miss.M

Epilogue 

It had been a week since she'd come back, as his wife still and though their feelings had changed, they were still adapting to them. They shared awkward glances when everyone was present but alone the same look started getting heated with desire, they enjoyed long silences between even longer conversations and the accidental touches had become essential. 

***

Raavi asked Shiva to freshen up as she finished the last of the tidying up in the kitchen and that she would join him shortly in the room. Turning off all the lights and checking to make sure everything was shut, she walked to their room and paused at the door. She found him reading the torn page that she'd left for him on the bed. Sitting next to him quietly her fingers ghosted over his hand before she placed it next to his. 

***

I forgive you Shiva. For everything you've said and done, I forgive you because I am tired of fighting, arguing, blaming and hating. I want to end this in a way that the bitterness at the start of this divorce ceases and we can start afresh as friends; now after all these months I can no longer hate you. 

*** 

Because I'm falling in love with you. I don't know when it started or how you became a necessity, like breathing. Was it always like this? The days before we got married blur together and I'm trying so hard to remember why I disliked you so much; it was never hate. The more I think about it, the more I feel that I got defensive because you were so rude to me, but even then when it was just me, your thoughts would filter through all the other thoughts, your opinions though unwanted, mattered the most. 

You were always there for me, defending me, protecting me and you were the one that brought out a different side in me. I learnt how to defend myself, to speak up for what I believe. I am drawn to you, constantly, but instead of acting on it, I chose to close myself from you and stamp out any attraction I felt towards you. But putting distance between us didn't stop me from falling in love with your mind, your soul.

The words I uttered when I was at my lowest and defeated were "I wanted all of Shiva." Not a kind and soft Shiva nor an angry and withdrawn Shiva, you in all your forms and moods because I've fallen for all of them and having one without the others, is loving only a part of the person that you are. 

There are so many things I want to share with you but after our talk, I don't think I have the right, but I write it here anyway because if I ask for you hard enough the universe might just give you to me. 

***

His eyes roved over the words, though she knew he had finished reading what she had written. He pulled her onto his lap, her head in the crook of his neck, she felt the tickle of his pulse even as her hand travelled across his chest and around to hold on to him. His arm automatically wrapping around her waist, he placed a kiss on her nose. 

"I love you. You gave me all your feelings, so I could do no less. You know of the first part. I told you that when as we sat in the counselling room. The rest I'd written  after we talked here that night. You were never meant to read it since we decided on getting the divorce but now it's yours to keep. This will always be what I come back to, no matter how much we argue, fight or even get angry, this is my point of no return."

He remained quiet and she contemplated on asking him questions but let it go when she noticed his grip tighten ever so slightly around her waist, pulling her even closer, she took in his scent and closed her eyes finally relaxing from the tiring day. 

She  was home. With him. Forever.