Chapter 1

Miss.M

@Miss.M

He sat on the steps in front of the house, just shaded by the awning. Water dripped off the edge of the roof, landing in front of him, forming a small puddle on the uneven lower step. It would need to be fixed, he made a mental note, once the season had passed. Looking back up to the roof line he checked for any damage to the ceiling, but found that the water dripped from the overflowing gutter. That, he could clean out once it had stopped raining, a messy job that no one, not even he wanted to do; he could rope Krish into doing it with him he figured, the advantage of being an older brother. Presently though, as nothing could be done, he shrugged to himself, glancing one last time at the growing puddle. 

***

The sigh that escaped was louder than he intended and like a man defeated, he went back to watching the rain sheet down from the black night sky, enjoying the musical pattering the torrential rain created over various surfaces. The air had been stifling earlier and he had changed into a vest and his thinnest pyjamas trying to cool down, hoping that the promised thunderstorm would appear. He loved the charged feeling that surrounded him before lightning would strike, the hair on his arms trapping the current, the rumbling growl of thunder that followed and the cycle repeating, over and over, till the air cooled down and the storm moved on. He especially loved the clarity he got in his thoughts as he sat between the chaos of battle that the pressure, wind and moisture fought. He could feel the wind picking up and involuntarily shivered, not having thought of putting on his shirt when he'd walked out into the muggy night on noticing the foreboding clouds rolling in. Looking up and down the deserted street, applauding the smart choice of the neighbourhood to stay inside, the only noise he heard over the howling of the wind that ripped through the trees overhead, was the rattle of loose window panes. He observed scraps of carelessly discarded paper as they flew about and the potted plants outside various houses, bending to the will of the wind that pushed forcefully through the narrow alleyway. And he contemplated on a similar storm that had wreaked havoc in his life and refused to seize its destruction. His mother's anger.  

***

At the thought of his mother, it was the hazy memory of watching mythological shows on Sunday mornings, with his brothers when he was younger, that flashed before his eyes. Dhara bhabhi had forced them to sit through an hour every week, watching and learning about the scriptures that had existed for thousands of years. And there he had learnt not only about being just and ethical amongst other virtues, but also that mothers had a very skewed moral compass when it came to their child; their love had caused rifts in families, wars, curses and almost destruction of the universe as they knew it. It was difficult to separate mythological facts from fiction added, to make them more fascinating for children and adults alike, but watching what his mother had been doing for the past three weeks, he agreed that mothers were definitely not to be messed with. 

***

He saw the first flash of lightning in the distance, the sky lighting up for a few seconds, shades ranging from a cool blue to deep purple covering everything in sight, before everything went dark again. The low roll of thunder got louder as it approached his ears and the first boom replaced the consistent sound of raindrops falling, he continued to contemplate how his life had become just as tumultuous as had his thoughts. Earlier, he had thought he'd fallen in love in a flash, just like the strike of light that hit the ground somewhere in the distance, a bright flash that lasted for only but a little while, reality however, was far different; his love had built like the pressure in the atmosphere, smothering everything around it, rising higher, till all that was left was for it to shatter and fall, with him gathering the broken pieces. Alone. 

"That's not how love works, Shiva." he hadn't heard the voice in a long while, the deep, laughter filled voice that even now, though in serious conversation, had a smile present behind the words. It continued when he didn't look up, 

"Love is painful and very emotional, but it is the ultimate euphoria that one experiences. Only a few have ever truly achieved that, otherwise they live their life having only experienced love to varying degrees, depending on their compatibility."

Silence took over and Shiva glanced beside him, watching keenly, silently urging for a continuation of the advice that could be the solution, that might help him out of this situation. 

"I know you think of Gautam and Dhara as the ultimate goal, you wanted a partner that would be a shadow of the woman you idolise, but if you look closer you'll see she's better than that. Gautam and Dhara have been friends for far too long, their love is like that of a comfort blanket, that you use to cover yourself up at night, that smells of familiarity, that makes you feel secure but the familiarity comes with a price. 

You look at Dev and Rishita and think of perfection in a relationship both well versed, smart, fashionable. What you don't see, is that the similarities doesn't make them unique and it brings about unrealistic expectations, which you have seen and with that sometimes a clash of egos. 

Don't be mistaken. There is love there, between Gautam and Dhara, between Dev and Rishita, but that is not the love you were made for. 

You were made for passionate, all consuming love. A love that is so deep, that one lifetime would not be enough to reach the farthest depth. Both of you have much to give and it will only grow exponentially. Your relationship has true balance. Your weakness is her strength and vice versa; your temper, her calmness, your anger, her humour, your silence and her chattering. Whichever way you look at it, she completes you, just as you complete her indecisiveness, her naivety, her playfulness. These are only examples, Shiva, you know better than anyone, even me, what your heart feels."

"But, she never wanted someone like me. I'm not who she desires; or deserves. Somnath's most beautiful girl deserves the world at her feet, someone who will give her everything and more."

"And you think you're not that, is that it?" 

"How can I be? I've seen who she likes looking at, talking to, laughing with and the funniest thing, I changed to become like that; it's not me, but I did it. For her. And she assumed it was for someone else." 

He heard the deep bellied laughter then and it washed over him, making him feel safe, taking him back to a time when his innocence had been untarnished with the harsh truths of the world. 

"Your mother is to be blamed for that. I see that she is still just as emotional as she was when she was a newly wedded bride. Her temper gets the better of her and then she becomes stubborn; a trait you've picked up quite accurately, might I add. She doesn't want to see what is right in front of her, your love for Raavi. What is important for her now is that your insult be avenged and she has gone to extreme lengths for that don't you think? "

The undertone of hilarity wasn't lost on him; neither him nor his mother were being mocked, it was a moot point, so he just nodded his head hoping still, for an answer. 

"Show them. Show Raavi your love for her and let her decide; show your mother that same love and she will calm down. Once she does she will move heaven and earth to bring you both together. Also Shiva,..." 

"Hmmm?" 

"Show Disha the love you have is for your wife only. That is the most important. Otherwise you will lose on all three counts. Your love, your wife and your mother."

"Why do you think that? She's liked me for the longest time. Surely she would understand." 

"Love is blind Shiva. If I give you all the answers, what will you do?" 

"But, you've not given me any." 

"Because you, my son, will introspect and understand what I've been trying to tell you. Enjoy the thunderstorm. Remember what I've told you. And don't worry, the answers are right there; in your heart." he heard the laughter again, and he finally met the eyes of Darshan Pandya, smiling, as lightning struck again, leaving him alone as the darkness settled once more. 

"Thank you Papa." he whispered to the universe, knowing that one man would always understand him. 

Thinking of the wisdom in the cryptic words he had received, he continued watching as the storm passed, clouds rolling on, the rain slowing to a drizzle and the havoc left behind that would be righted in the morning, leaving only cool air in its wake. His muddled thoughts had begun to unravel, the path of action becoming clearer as he concentrated on the slowing plonk of water in the puddle before him. 

***

He felt a warmth covering his shoulders, the smell of the soap they used and the subtle hint of bergamot and peony, that seemed to transfer to all his clothes, from hers in the wardrobe they shared. He looked up to see the concern in her hazel eyes, silently questioning if he was okay, as she pulled at the collars of his shirt around him, 

"What have you been thinking about for so long?" 

She continued as he stared at her blankly, "It's getting quite cold; and late. Shiva! Come in, before you fall sick." 

Nodding, he stood up, sending one last look at the direction the storm had moved, taking away some  of the unease that had made residence in him over the three weeks.