Finally an update!  Sorry, for the wait but I finally gained a thought that would not rest until I let it be written.  So, my next one shot is here!  Please, tell me what you think and I hope it is just as interesting as my first!!

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Our Seven Lives and Beyond

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Story Two

Not one day of mine has been spent without her.  For every tune I made her dance to, she in return would step so effervescently on that same platform.  Truly, the world was her stage and she was its main attraction.  How could I say this so confidently?    In my eyes there was only her and there she lived not as a tenant but as their owner.  Every move of her's never escaped my notice.  If she was lost in the troubles of society than by the dizzying tunes of my flute she would twirl herself away, and become immersed in her glorious dance.  In the end, on her dais fully begotten, her eyes only searched for her Kanha; therefore, in her eyes I have never lived and I hated him for it.

Who am I and who is she to make me angry at Kanha?

My name is Aham Modi, renowned flute player for the critically acclaimed Raas-Lila troupe, and she is Gopi.  Unlike the true Raas-lila, she is participating in the divine dance of love with a mere projection of Kanha, a fake who relied on him to fulfill his image on stage'with her.  He held no resentment towards her, but his chest burned at the mere glimpse of Umang celebrating the divine dance with Gopi.  The fool had no idea how to play the flute, but yet Aham provided the soul to Umang's fraud. 

In the end, despite the innocent nature, Gopi danced each night with Umang reflected in her eyes; and thus, this pain surpassed his disdain at being an unknown participant in the staged play.  Highly annoyed at the repetitive nature of his thoughts which plagued him each night like a broken record, Aham stabbed harshly at his bowl of kichiri.

"Aham-ji, today the raag you played for the Raas-Lila was very beautiful!  The emotions you conveyed for the gopis during their plight of sneaking away from home in the middle of the night was so real.  I could feel how frantic they were!  Aham-ji, truly, you are so blessed!  I'm sure you have some of Kanha in you!"

He stared at her in amazement, mouth agape as the journey for his spoon was forgotten.  "Ji .. Gopi, it's not like that!  Really!  I just practice '"

"Shhh!"  Gopi squatted down in front of him smiling, "Aham-ji, you are the best flutist in this region.  You must not think that this is not a gift, it is a blessing given to you!"

Lost in her radiant smile, the warm crinkle in her eyes, his mouth further opened with an uttered, "Oh."  Much like his lax jaw, his hand also became loose and in effect dropped his spoon with kichiri into his lap.

"Oh no!  Aham-ji don't worry! I'll get you some wet napkins!"

At her standing figure, Aham also quickly arose, clattering his spoon back into the bowl and snatching a napkin from the floor along the way, "Please, Gopi.  It has been a long night, and you have yet to eat!  I will take care of this."  At that he began to furiously rub the yellowed rice from his kurta.

"You sure?  It is not a big deal'you know what I'll get-"

"No!  I told you, it's nothing.  Get something to eat, and rest!  Tomorrow is a long day again."

"Oh ' Okay, Aham-ji.  Jai Shri Krishna."

"Jai Shri Krishna," at her retreating back, he sat once again and finished his sentence in a soft murmur, "Gopi'"

"Yaar! Look at you staring at her!  Why don't you tell her you like her?" 

"Tejas!  You have it all wrong!  She's just really nice! "

Tejas mimicked him, "Tejas! She's just really nice, blah blah blah, I want to be her Kanha,  blah blah blah!"

Aham slapped Tejas on his back, satisfied at the resulting chocking sounds.  "That's what you get."

 

"Gopi!  I'm thinking of dressing you in blue and pink for tomorrow's show since we'll be performing again in this area.  The crew is also changing the background lights to a greenish hue, and so I don't want you to blend in!"

"Tejas, you put so much thought into this!  I think I have a pink blouse, I can just wear the pink and white sari Jithu-sir had you make for me during our tour in Rajkot."

"No, no, no!  Gopi, I have designed a lengha for you!  That sari is five years old ...from when you first became a part of this troupe!  The people of Surat will remember!"

"Tejas, why did you go through all this trouble?  I could have just mixed my pieces!"

"And look like the rainbow?  No way!  Plus someone wouldn't like it if I didn't put my effort into your costume," he laughed thinking about the oaf who spent all day practicing his flute and daydreaming.

"Ji?"

"Your special audience!"

 

"Umang-beta!  You did really well today!  Aham was truly magnificent today and you were on par!  Almost like you both were in competition!"

"Jithu-uncle, I am the true star of this show.  Without me, he wouldn't be able to play.  He has been trying to act difficult and I do not like it."

"Umang-beta?"  Aham-ji plays from his heart!  Just like how you act as Kanha on stage in reverence!"

"No, sir!  I have seen the way he looks at Gopi!  I was thinking that you should change her'"

"Umang!"

"Sir, One of the other gopis would-"

"Umang!  First, you must tell me why!"

"Jithu-uncle, listen, when Gopi's aunt sold her to you as an actor in your travelling troupe, she had said this girl is just a huge problem.  A bad omen!  An unfortunate birth!"

"But, beta, Gopi is a sweet child!  She never brings harm to anyone.  Her smile lights up everyone's hearts and she takes such good care of everyone" Jithu-bhai's widening eyes caused a slight crease of stress to form between his eyebrows.

"Sir, I must say everything clearly.  Gopi has been acting better than the other actresses.  The gopis are not getting respectable outfits while Gopi has something new tailored for her after every few performances.  The designer, Tejas, is Aham's good friend.  Kinjal has not had a new outfit in a long time, and after the performance she was being teased by a few drunk stragglers because her clothes are now ill fitting!  It's not right!  And that Aham!  The flutist is overstepping his boundaries!  He is supposed to realize that I am Kanha!  Not him, no one sees him and the way he's playing is ruining my acting!  This is all because Gopi is encouraging him!"

"Stop, Umang, stop!  Ever since Urmila-ben brought her niece into my tent saying that exchanging Gopi for money would be best..I-I-I have known that poor girl.  At the mere age of seventeen, she was sold for money.  Money that would marry off Urmila-ben's daughter!  But that child never complained, in fact she felt blessed to be a part of this religious and respectable production!  I have understood her to be like my own daughter and not the 'unfortunate birth' that you say!"

"Fine!  But sir, remember, a girl who can take to someone so easily is not of righteous character."

"I will not hear anymore!"

 

"Let go!  Today, I do not want you near me!"  She pushed his hand away from her shoulder, turning to sit with her back facing him.

"My sweet, gopi, do not turn your back away from your Kanha in such anger."  He sat on the bed, putting both hands on her shoulders.  "Look, at me darling"

"No," she tried shrugging her shoulder to remove his hand again.

Umang tightened his hold on her shoulders and put more effort in making her turn towards him, "Look at me, dear..."  He could feel the tension in her body, no doubt trying to resist his advances,  and the frustration of the past few days finally tore at his patience.  He used strength in turning her to lie flat, and pinned her warm body with his against the bed.  Her eyes widened and she took a hard look at him.  "Listen, Kinjal!  I spoke to Jithu-bhai and he does not want to change Gopi, but your outfits could be made soon!  I did my best for you," he lifted a finger to trace her patterns on her cheek.  Smiling he continued, "so, be a nice girl, and dance with me."

Kinjal's lips formed a snarl as she spit out, "You're useless, Umang!"  Catching him unaware, she kneed him hardly, satisfied at his groan of pain.  "Now leave!"

 

"Hmmm, hmm, hmm, la la laaa. Saath nibhana saathiya."  Gopi looked at the stars above, satisfied that the previous night's show in Surat had gone well.  Tejas had truly outdone himself for her costume as Radha, and the crowd was simply in love with Aham-ji's music.  Sometimes, she would imagine that she was enacting the Raas-lila with his beautiful notes and not Umang. 

The way Umang stared at her, especially on stage, made her feel really uncomfortable.  One of the other gopis had taken to stepping on her toes, or discretely shoving her.   With all the building tension raging on her nerves, these recent days of companionship she had made with Tejas and Aham-ji really put her at ease.  After all, they made her forget that things naturally had the propensity to turn sour for her.  Exhaling a breathe she remembered her mami, and how she always said that she, Gopi, was a misfortune. 

Though, with the love Jithu-uncle bestowed upon her, the encouragement her troupe gave her, and the appreciation the crowd showed her, she couldn't help but wonder if she had really been chosen by Kanha-ji to participate in a true Raas-lila.  That this beautiful moment in time was truly held in standstill, and she would forever be a part of an eternal dance of devotion.

"Gopi!" a voice broke out in the stillness.

Turning around she saw Umang steadily approaching her.  "Hello, Umang-ji.  How are you?  Enjoying the break we have had in Surat?"  He approached her with a weird shine to his eyes.

"No, actually, this has been my worst break ever."  He stood in front of her, and Gopi quickly identified the rage he was emanating.

"Umang-ji!  Are you okay?  What happened?"  She searched his eyes curiously, what had happened to him?  Did someone do something to hurt Umang-ji?  The crowd had been rowdy when the troupe dined within the town center.

"You, Gopi.  You happened," he whispered.

"Ji?" her voiced squeaked out in confusion.

"I said that you happened!  Your mami was correct in calling you an unfortunate person.  No one could ever be happy with you around!"  The globular tears that overcame the well of her eyes, slowly slipped down her cheek.  Pleasured that he was finally able to vent his anger out, Umang continued, "because of you Kinjal can't get new clothes.  You are the reason that stupid flute player makes my job miserable!"

She began walking backwards, her sight blurring his advancing form.  "No, U-U-Umang-jjji," she stuttered.

Angered at her defiance, he hit her.  "I don't care!  You're just another problem!  There's only one way to deal with that!"  He made an attempt to slap her again, but her foot caught on a rock and she fell backwards.  Her sobs of mercy fell to deaf ears as he tried pouncing on her and holding her in place.  She kept on crawling backwards, scrapping her hands on the earthen floor and swiping kicks out to keep him at bay.  "What is it with you women and kicking!"  Grabbing her legs, he tried dragging her back towards him.  Her consistent sobbing was beginning to increase the pounding of his headache, and at the jarring shriek of her yell, he lifted his hand to strike once more.

She shut her eyes, tightly, sure that he would not miss again.  Although, the sound of his own grunt of pain startled her to open her eyes, thoroughly shocked.  In front of her, was Aham-ji and Tejas, alternatively beating Umang.  "Gopi-beti!  Gopi!  You're okay, right?  He didn't do anything to you, right?"  Ensconced in Jithu-bhai's frantic embrace, Gopi once again began sobbing.

Gazing blindly at the scene which was a mere few feet away from her, she buried her head into Jithu-uncle's warm chest, dejectedly voicing her anguish.  "Jithu-uncle, mami was right.  My life is only meant for misfortunate.  Happiness is never meant to come my way!"

"No, beti, no!"  Jithu-bhai's eyes overcame with his own grief as he desperately tried calming Gopi down.  He stroked her head and said, "Gopi, your Kanha-ji would never let you live a barren life!"

At that moment, Tejas came to kneel by Jithu-bhai to see Gopi's state while Aham continued to punish Umang who was barely resisting at this point.  He also tried comforting Gopi, "Gopi, look we need to take care of your cuts.  How about you bathe, and afterwards we can all just spend time together.  You'll be safe now' Aham is also taking care of that disgusting rat! Please Gopi!"

She lifted herself away from Jithu-bhai and turned to Tejas.  "But, I only have pain written in my destiny..."

Tejas brushed her tears away saying calmly as Aham came to loom over him, "No, Gopi, you are the purest girl I have met!  One day, just like the Radha you enact, you will meet your Kanha and live a life full of joy."

Aham saw the doubt on her face, and squatted down to also face her.  He used his hand to tilt her chin upwards, searching her face.  Not able to see her downcast eyes he quietly asked, "Gopi, look at me?" She held still for a moment, and Aham repeated himself again a little more affirmatively.

Her eyes lifted slowly, and the resonating desperation reflected back to him.  He didn't know what to say, so he began with the many thoughts that swirled in his mind whenever she became his Radha on stage.  "Gopi, they say a musician has only one muse, and when the two are united than the most beautiful of music is created'much like how Kanha initiated the Raas-Lila.  This muse is his true inspiration, his reason to play, his reason to live and his reason to happily give away his life.  Without the other, there is no meaning."  Her eyes searched his as he held her attention.  "Gopi, I play solely for you.  My eyes only see you, and my music only feels you.  Without you, I am nothing.  Without you, this troupe is truly nothing."

Tejas glanced at Aham, wondering if he was truly trying to ruin his chance of attaining true love.

Jithu-bhai hurried added, "Yes, beti!  People travel miles to see you.  You are divinity brought to life!"

Gopi wanted to believe this, she wanted to feel like there was hope, but that fear of rejection and dismissal kept its shadow close."

Aham saw her eyes darken and his mouth formed a grim line as she muttered, "I will become old, and my voice will wither, sooner than that I will not be needed and given away' discarded numerous times until nothing is left."

Like a stirring lion, Aham spoke directly with a primitive emotion, "Gopi, can't you understand!?  You are, therefore I am!  Will you believe that I can give you happiness, Gopi?"

She looked deep into his shining eyes and a heartbeat later whispered a "yes."  At that she saw him frantically search the ground until he found what he was looking for.  Lifting a jagged rock, he clumsily sliced his thumb and looked up at her.  Confused, she locked eyes with Aham-ji and was stilled with fascination as he raised his bleeding right thumb and filled her maang.  "Now, Gopi, I will not stand by you for seven lifetimes to give you love, peace, clarity, and support but for eternity."

Her Kanha-ji had finally come to take her forever away in the eternal dance of divine love.

FIN!

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So did you like it?  Please let me know (through the "like" button or a comment)! 

Off to bed 

moksha892011-12-13 18:06:09