JUST LET ME CRY

2 years ago

Shivi

@Shivi72

Siddhant was still unable to believe what he is seeing, his hands were shivering as he caresses that word " MY ANGEL " 

Tears from his eyes found the way and were dropping down from his eyes on that word angel, erasing it. His eyes then moved on to the columns of both sides, shrinking his forehead he rubbed his eyes wiping the tears to get a clear view of what is written, and as he read he gasped so loud.

GOOD

• He took me out from that hell

• He cares for me

• He saved me from drowning

• He again brings me back from him

Siddhant was weeping heavily looking at the good points she has written for him. All that time when he had planned to hurt her were the things she thought good about him. His eyes then traveled to the other column.

BAD

• He allowed bhaiya to take me.

• He scolded me.

• He ...

Siddhant couldn't read further, he was so broken with the thought that Roli was innocent but he didn't leave any chance to give her pain and what hits him more was the good points written for him... For a while, he felt Aanya was right, he is no less than Darsh. He didn't give her the place she thought she would get after coming out of that house.

He kept crying for some time about the blunders he has done. He wiped his tears then starts searching for the pen, which he found under the pillow as he took that out Roli's sleep got disturbed which wasn't known to Sid. Roli opened her eyes slowly and finding Siddhant beside her she felt peace but not for long as she saw her sketchbook in his hand, that's it her breath stopped for a second to see Siddhant was doing something in it. She was scared of the thought that what would be his reaction after he sees the things she has written for him -the bad things. 

So many times Roli has imagined showing this book to him and seeing his reaction when he would read about the good things for himself but this time bad columns also consist of some words which were scaring her that how will he take this, and be honest she was trying to find out any loopholes if she could so that can erase those complaints but before that itself Siddhant saw it.

Roli slightly raises her head to see what Sid is doing. " What are you doing" Roli shouts snatching the book in her hand after she saw that Siddhant had cut every line which was written under the Good column and he was about to add something in the bad one.

" let me do what I'm doing " somehow Siddhant spoke trying to take it back 

" No, I'll not give " Roli cries hugging her sketchbook and moving away from him till the corner of the bed.

" Roli, give, " Siddhant said and then pulled the book in his hand and again started to fill up the bad column.

• Left you in dark

• pushed you into water

• tried to kill you through the knife

" why, you? " Roli just let out these words after she noticed what he has written, her mind gets blocked as the flashes from the first day when she was left alone started to revolve around her mind and now knowing he was the reason behind it had made her numb. She hasn't thought even in the rarest dream that Siddhant would try to harm her in this way... She was still not ready to believe what he wrote... She screams " Why are you doing this it's not true "

" it is " Siddhant mumbles not meeting her eyes, he was feeling so ashamed but he wasn't ready to hide anything now, he doesn't want any more misunderstanding, she has the right to know the person whom she thinks as her angel isn't the one she thinks but is a monster same as her brother, it's just he tortures while showing whereas Siddhant hid those to make her believe he was good.

" I don't believe, you can't do this "

" I did " Siddhant emitted flipping the earlier page which has a sketch of Aanya. He lovingly and possessively caressed her face through his trembling fingers, Roli was confused about the way Sid was looking and caressing the pic. A drop of tear fell from sid's eyes on that page and he whispered " Aanya is my sister " he breaks into tears again remembering her.

Roli was shocked to the core knowing Siddhant knew Aanya. Before Roli could find her voice to speak and ask Siddhant stood up went near the wardrobe and opened it he brought the photos of him and Aanya which he has kept hidden from her. She was getting shocked again and again as She looked at those pics and now thinking what might have happened, if Aanya is his sister then why is she not here is she dead? She again felt a huge pain inside her as she realized Aanya is no more. Somewhere she had a tiny wish that Aanya should be alive but that isn't true, She finally looked at Siddhant and for sure she can see the pain in his eyes dropping out through tears.

" Aanya, My Anu left me... Roli you don't know the whole truth, the day I came to your house the first time I already knew you, I knew that it's Darsh who... And I also knew that it was you to whom Anu helped that day... I know everything what had happened that day, Shree had told me everything that how your brother took my gudiya... " Siddhant voice was getting heavier on every description about his sister which surely was increasing pain in Roli's heart.

Siddhant took Roli's sketchbook again then continues " I came to your house with a plan to take revenge over him and... And... And with you too " 

The last line dropped a bomb on Roli's heart as she gets to know he was there at her home to hurt her... Her lips quivered in fear as Siddhant unfolded every bit of his plan what he had applied on her... Tears were continuously spilling out from both of their eyes, Siddhant was crying about his mistakes whereas Roli was sobbing on the realization that the person whom she thought will protect him had tried to kill her many times... She looked at her sketchbook which had his sketch her eyes immediately went on the caption, the word Angel got erased due to the tears, but she felt a kind of relief on it. She doesn't feel him as an angel anymore, once where she used to feel peace is now scared with his presence....

Sid didn't notice the effect his revelation is having on her, He again took the pen and with shivering hands, he wrote the last point....

• tried to r...

Siddhant stopped in the middle as he couldn't complete the sentence, he finally closed his eyes tight cursing himself " You know right what your brother has done with my Anu ... I was about to do the same with you " confesses Sid to Roli honestly still keeping his eyes closed, he didn't has guts to look at Roli...

Roli fell on the bed backward her head got banged on the headboard flinching Siddhant but for Roli, She didn't feel any pain. Her face was pale, quiet without any expressions, her eyes were blankly staring at some point exactly at what she didn't know. Her mind went blank. As sid heard the sound of her falling back he turned to her but then seeing her condition he cries again.. It was the first time he was watching an innocent soul was breaking down in front of him and the reason is himself. He forwards his hand to check up on the back of her head for any injury, As he kept his hand over her face she didn't react nor did her eyeballs turned to him, they were stiffened at a point staring into the space. His heart breaks into million pieces watching her like a corpse. Sid was about to raise her head but Roli held his hand stopping him. Siddhant looked at her confused trying to read her expression but still, her face was plain without expressions. Roli held his hand and threw it away from her than with all her strength she shouts " stay away " 

Siddhant flinched on her shout but went away from her as he didn't dare to go near her when she doesn't want to. Roli screams pointing her finger at him " you know what I thought I'm so lucky to have you who would protect me who would love me but you.... Why why didn't you ask me once why..." Roli chokes on her words and begins to cry uncontrollably.

Siddhant's voice didn't come out after seeing her burst out. Roli was really feeling that she got a person who would make her life better at least now but knowing about the whole truth she was shattered totally. She felt she was wrong in dreaming a happy life, she doesn't deserve the one.. And here once again she felt it would have had been better if she was dead before she get to know the person she trusted for the first time in her life was a lie.. She kept crying her heart out on her fate.. She wasn't free anytime, the happiness she felt For getting freedom from Darsh was not actually freedom for her... Yeah, she did get free from Darsh but was captured by Siddhant..She cried louder and louder her voice butchered his heart when he couldn't bear the pain he was feeling out of guilt he moved near Roli to give her a comforting hand " Roli, please... Please don't cry "

" Why " Roli shouted on the top of her lungs giving him goosebumps..  " Why should I not cry... Why do I have to take permission to even cry? first from bhaiya and now from you.. Why can't I cry on my wish if not live? Why don't I have the right to live how I wish, why don't I have the right to die when I want and I know I don't have in my destiny the right to laugh but why can't I cry... Just... Just leave me alone and let me cry... Just let me cry " Roli dumps her head between her knees and starts to cry while Siddhant silently left the room after hearing her outburst, he thought leaving her alone for some time would be better.

SHREE'S HOUSE

After checking upon Aanya twice Shree left her room and was sitting in the living room where Anya's friends were also present there was pin-drop silence in the atmosphere all were lost in their deep thoughts and were thinking about Siddhant.. Except for Shree, all were blaming Siddhant in their head whereas Shree was thinking so hard to find a way that could help him to gather the scattered pieces of their life and bring them together.

Aanya was standing under the shower cold water was pouring over her head, for the last half an hour she is standing like this - numb, thoughts of Siddhant were banging in her head making her so weak to think anything further, she felt exhausted to even stand and thought going back to the room and have a sleep to stop thinking about anything else. She looks down at herself, clothes were all drenched into the water.. She took it off to change but the scars of her body that came in front of her eye becomes alive refreshing all pain she felt....

She cried so wildly reminiscing all those bitter memories. Her body started burning reminding her of their touches. She felt so uncomfortable and was so keen to remove the sensations as soon as possible, looking around for something she got hand wash which was at first kept into the row... She took it and poured it on her body everywhere then taking the loofah she rubbed her skin so hard with the thought to remove that filthy sensation but she couldn't. She then took every bottle kept over there including body wash, conditioners, shampoos everything... She poured all of it on herself and started rubbing again for quite a long time new scratches too came over, a few were bleeding too but the disgusting uneasiness she still felt wasn't going.

Aanya failed to remove that feeling, being exhausted she slumped down on the floor then cries...

Shree was restless as he knows that Aanya is inside the washroom but the time she is taking is making him worried. He thought once again to check on her. He came to her room and as he enters he heard her crying " Aanya? ... Aanya what happened " Shree shouted frantically banging on the door and to his surprise the door was open.. He stopped from opening it full and calls out for her friends " Drishti, Kashish..  Come fast "

Everyone came running on his shout and asks " what happened" before Shree could answer they too heard Aanya's crying voice... Drishti and Kashish looked at each other then went inside immediately while the boys came out of the room.. Shree was walking here and there measuring the length of the corridor in front of her room with a pale face... His heart was thumping so fast with worry... And Saurav was standing numb not knowing how to react or what he could do..

Girls were attending Aanya, her condition left them in tears... Aanya was still not ready for anyone to touch her... Somehow they managed to get her out of the washroom changing her clothes..  As they came out Aanya screamed " don't come near me leave me alone, just leave me alone " 

Aanya kept shouting and started throwing things at them to make them move away from her, at last without any option they left the room...

" what had happened," Shree asked as soon as they came out...

" Don't know but I think she remembered about that night. She isn't allowing us near her" Kashish answered, her voice was shaking as she remembered Aanya's condition...

" you all stay here I will look after her " Shree urged then went inside and locked the door slowly. He saw Aanya sitting on the floor crying hugging her knees some blood spots can be seen on her clothes, his forehead shrinks in pain, his legs felt slight numb without having much courage in them to go near her, tears started to roll down his eyes, he didn't have anything to say to her and ask to stop crying, he doesn't know how to comfort her, what should he do to calm her down... With so many uncertainties he reached near her.

Aanya sensed someone near her, she took her head up crying " told right lea...." She stops in her way after she found he was Shree... She felt a little relaxed in his presence.

Shree sat in front of her mainting a proper gap between them, he tried to voice out something but couldn't, her devastated state was crushing him down... Still trying more he murmured " I don't know any words to say to you to console you... You tell me what should I do to make you feel good "

Aanya stared at him for a while, she knew he wanted to help her she can see it in his eyes.. She kept watching at him and between her cry she spoke " just let me cry for a while "

Shree took a long breath on her demand, fresh tears slide down his eyes with slight hesitation he asked " will it be ok for you if I hug you while you cry " He knows he can't help her much with his words or any act to reduce her pain, nor did he can give her brother back so he just wants to make sure she is not alone, the promise he made to Siddhant, if not to Aanya but he can give a moment of peace to Siddhant that his Aanya is not alone.

Aanya gaped at him then within In a second she threw herself on his shoulder and cries hugging him tight and Shree too cried with her, holding her in his embrace.