TAKE 24 - I Will Not Give Up on You...Dammit!

3 years ago

mysticaltales11111

@mysticltales111

Hellooooo Guysssssssss....

Hope you and your family all are Safe and Sound 🙏🙏🙏🙏

So Yup here I am o with the next update off HW3.0 - for this week.❤❤❤❤❤

So yes... Seatbelts On - My Dear Readers. I'v compiled this into an emotional and intense roller-coaster Ride(that was much awaited) in every way I possible could - through my words. Winks.Won't say more and let you all dive in to know exactly what I mean by that.❤😉

Word Count - Long in Length - 13.3 K Words.✍✍👩‍💻👩‍💻

Taking some hours off to just Write this Out finally has truly been my Respite in taking my Mind Off - Everything Covid! And I truly hope - that you are able to experience some distraction and entertainment through the Story Too🤗❤🙏

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Also, yes this is the First Draft. Please definitely ignore editing/common repition of words errors etc - since I have not proofread.

And I shall now let you all dive in without Further Delay.

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Disclaimer:

This Story/ Written Series is a work of Fiction.All characters are fictitious.Any resemblance to a person living or dead is purely coincidental. The depiction off fictitious characters through their cross - cultural backgrounds is also a work of pure fiction. I respect all faiths, cultures, communities with its rich diversities, equally.I mean no offence or hurt to anyones sentiments through my work in any way whatsoever.

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TAKE 24 - I Will Not Give Up on You...Dammit!

Two Hours 30 Minutes Later

Nearing 10:00 PM

At the Airbnb Apartment

Maya, Brian and Jack exchanged warm smiles amidst one another yet again as they sat seated in the living area of the apartment - eyeing the sight of Arnav helping Khushi finish winding up. They'd all finished their dinner - about twenty minutes ago - and as they'd all helped cleared the table and walked to the kitchen to wind up collectively as a group - Arnav happily requested them to let him have the privilege to help Khushi clean up - given that it was what he wanted to do exclusively because she'd literally gobsmacked his taste buds to heaven with that delicious - Shepherd's Pie for dinner.

They all had happily agreed of course and made their way back to the living area exchanging happy warm smiles with one another then too - for yes - the happy sight of Arnav feasting on Khushi's cooked - Shepherd's Pie as if he had been starving for the last two days - obviously did not miss their eye. Just like they knew - that the happy sight of the very same - had made Khushi all emotional too.

For as her closest friends - they knew. They knew the exact reason for this visit to Arnav - right? It was also the very reason why the three of them had collectively made the decision to make this detour to India alongside Khushi. Because they wanted to be there for her - in case this vulnerable conversation in between of Arnav and Khushi ended up going all the way and things didn't go in in her favour - after. They knew - she'd be brutally broken. Then. It was something they had been worried about in their thoughts every now and then just like Sarah was too in Lahore - but then - somehow just spending the last Two hours 30 minutes with Arnav again - and observing him closely in the company of Khushi(again) - somehow gave a great flicker of hope to each of their hearts. A Hope - that maybe - this entire detour to India - right now might just end up being a Blessing in disguise for Khushi.

Maya takes a deep breath as she bites back a natural smile at the sight off Arnav playfully pushing Khushi aside in the open kitchen across and instructing her to watch him do the dishes in a Jiffy. She says now in a soft whisper as she observes Jack and Brian looking out towards the two too - "Brian, Jack...you both see this...don't you? I mean you both have also observed what I have... in all our time with Arnav today too...please reassure my nervy jitters with what you think...once again...to me...for to me...it most definitely feels like - that I shouldn't worry much...but then at the same time...I can't help but worry too...for K...for we know..right...how deeply she will be affected...if...this...,"and she pauses not wanting to even word out the painful possibility for her dear friend+soul sister.

Brian sighs as he admits sincerely - " yes I have...and it feels the same to me M...but guess..we won't know conclusively until K's actually had the conversation all the way with him...right now...she did tell us that she wants to tell him about Lahore...but we have no clue if that is actually going to end up in chained conversations in between them...or will Khushi just pause at that...for that...we will just have to wait and watch...,"and he bites back his natural smile for a second at the sight of Khushi nudging Arnav in the arm playfully and gesturing to him - How he was great at Dishes without the Dishwasher too from across - and he says - " I so hope...he sticks around M...he's good for our K...he really is...ever since he's come into her life...she's literally bloomed and blossomed...and it hasn't missed our eye..now has it??"

Jack says now in a soft whisper - " of yes..it hasn't...and know what guys...I am going to be optimistic about this...because..hey..have you both seen the way he even looks at her ..its intense...as if nothing else matters to him but her presence when she is in front off him in real time...I don't think..he'd freak out over this...even if the conversation was to go all the way...I got my faith in him...he's surely stick around..."

Maya sighs and feels a little relieved as she hears that from Jack and Brian and she says - " yeah...I don't think he will fret and freak out and go all beserk..atleast...S thinks the same too,"and she pauses and she says to Brian and Jack in an added soft whisper again - " if this goes well...then my guts tells me that this will be that exact turning point...that might help K - begin to see her way out through her very own insecurities about her birth...she's been coming around it bit by bit..ever since...but it's surely something one can embrace gradually over time without any fears holding you back.....specially when you'v lived half your life before..believing something else....I mean...we all know...the meltdown she had in front of us...after Mrs J told her the truth all those years ago...she wasn't saying it out loud then...but we knew right?? that the wound of the truth had run deep...very deep into her...the impact of Mrs J and her fathers failed relationship in her being has been way too much....yeahh..she is doing much better now than what she was say a couple of months ago...but still...we all know there's still that distance she needs to cover within subconsciously....like...all the way....,"and she sighs - "so...lets..just hope for the best guys...I mean...we are all there for her and always have been and will be no matter what...Mrs J is too..her grandparents too...but say if Arnav actually supports her through this - I just think it could speed up things for her within...she surely knows it's something she has to cope up with on her own...but ofcourse...just to know that the one you love is standing by you...holding your hand tight...through it all..makes...it a tad bit..easier...right??"

Brian and Jack nod in unison as they say - " yup...no doubts about that...indeed...so...let's just hope...for the best..M..."

Maya smiles positively at that as the three of them - begin to observe the sight of Arnav with Khushi again from across.

Were they each praying for their dear friend - right now??

Oh yes - they most surely were!!

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Ten Minutes Later

In the Kitchen of the AirBNB

Khushi gapes at Arnav amused as she watches him finish rinsing the last dish in the sink with amazing efficiency and she states keeping a hand on her waist - " My Hunk...seriously...this whole bit...of watching you efficiently deal with the dishes...without the dishwasher...around...really is amazing and surprising at the same time....I mean..when you mentioned...that you did do it often back at home that day At Maya's...I didn't quite imagine you handling the same..this efficiently...for sure...for yeah..you did kinda finish it all in record time...I would have taken five minutes more..I guess..."

Arnav bites back his happy smug chuckle at that as he closes the tap and picks up the tissue from across as he wipes his hands clean and leans forward to kiss - Khushi's cheek playfully as he winks - " told ya...baby...I just have a natural knack...of being very efficient...at everything I do...,"and he leans forward mischievously and whispers into her ears - " you should know that by now Fiore..given how efficient I am in having my intense ways with you...in privacy...,"and he pulls her closer in a little snuggle.

Khushi chuckles at that as she states snuggling into his arms momentarily and patting his right arm playfully - " yeah...yeah...and super cheeky of you to remind me of that..whilst we are still by the kitchen sink...Arnav.."

Arnav winks at her playfully - "why?? Does it make you wana ask me to ravish you...from the very second...we'd step into my apartment??"

Khushi chuckles playfully at that as she states keeping her mischievous gaze locked with his - " maybe...,"and she winks and adds - " you know....you do get some brownie points in feasting on my Shepherds Pie..in the ways you did...my hunk...,"and she asks narrowing her eyes at him playfully again - " tell me again...truthfully...with the sincerity of your taste buds...you did enjoy it for real..didn't you? or was it that you were just being biased..because it was me..."

Arnav kisses Khushi's hand lovingly at that as he winks - " so...given that you asked....my taste buds would like to pass on an official decree in all their mindfulness right now Fiore....and that is...that they wana claim and declare in all their mindfulness that - I am only going to eat a Shepherd's Pie which is either going to be cooked by you or maybe on some occasions in your presence with me elsewhere outside given that I know you'd want me to taste it off your favourite eatery in the future...but say...that's about it...I am only going to eat it then..or I am just never going to eat it at all....so...this should most surely reconfirm it you my Fiore...that I was being completely sincere to your recipe at the table over dinner..and I was not being biased at all...it was the Yummiest...Shepherd's Pie..I'v ever eaten like...ever...like...hands down...."

Khushi would have chuckled happily at that statement if it hadn't made her so emotional in the moment again which led to her eyes welling up with bittersweet tears. Why? Because everything that Arnav just said - were very similar to the words - that Her Dad used to once say to her Mum - back in the day. Now that her Mum and her - had been openly talking about her past - she was aware off so many little anecdotes about their happy time - in her head.

Arnav cups Khushi's face immediately as he spots her now wiping a little tear outta her eye and he asks sincerely - " hey...you..what's..wrong??,"and he teases with a little smile - " did the decree from my tastebuds just now..make you all happy...emotionally??"

Khushi nods as she states smiling back as she held on to his wrist - "yes...it did...Arnav...it made me emotional not only because I was just happy hearing that bit...it was also because everything you just said...is literally very similar to what..Dad would often say to Mum...back in the day....,"and she adds in her head silently.But I don't really know if he ever stuck to those words though - Baby.

Arnav caresses her cheek lovingly at that and then kisses her head and says casually wanting to comfort her over the same not knowing the context going on in Khushi's head - "and I am sure...you know...that's probably what he did too right baby?? As long as he lived?? I am sure..Mrs J...told you that... So yeah - I totally promise you..the very same..."

That makes Khushi stiffen a little within the circle of his arms as she fights back her guilt and momentary nervousness and she states nervously knowing that the moment off her talk about Lahore with him was now nearing - " thank you..baby...okay...umm...so...now that we are done here...can we head to yours?? As in...I do have something very important to talk to you...remember??about Dad's hometown...so...I was thinking...why don't you..head to yours now...ill join you in like five minutes or..so...would that be okay??"

The fact that she had stiffened momentarily in his arms had not missed Arnav's eye and so he just searched and observed her face sincerely. He wanted her to talk to him now obviously but he also knew that they needed privacy for the same and so he says - "yeah...that would be kool...so shall we get on then..Fiore??"

Khushi nods and Arnav kisses her head and takes her by the hand to the living area - "okay...let me just quickly say goodnight to everyone...for now...I'll leave...after..and wait for you...baby??"

Khushi nods and shoots him a little smile as they now near her friends and once again her nervous ordeal was momentarily overshadowed - by the sight off Arnav - happily - spending these last couple of minutes in this moment - with her friends.

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Six Minutes Later - as Arnav leaves - Khushi finally closes the door shut to the Airbnb Apartment. She turns around to look at her friends nervously now as she states honestly her eyes all welled up - " okay....guys...seriously...I am freaking out within...now...I mean..now that the moment is nearing about me talking about heading to Lahore...I am freaking out...I am getting these freaky jitters...that are consuming me with so much worry, nervousness and guilt at the same time...I mean...I did lead him on to think all this while...that Dad had passed...and now...as much as I wana begin with telling him about Lahore...I don't know if I should simply state - the very same first thing out...I mean..I wana get to that obviously...but like...how....how do I get there? what do I say?? How do I begin??"

Maya reaches out to pull Khushi in a warm supportive hug as she states - " K..stop...stop..freaking out first thing out...k? and know what? just go with what your gut tells you too in that moment with Arnav...just listen to your heart...k??"

Khushi hugs on Maya for comfort and she states nervously - "yeah...I'll try...not to freak out...and I will try listening to my heart...as in ..i'll imaginarily just flip a coin in my head in the moment of time..to help me through...maybe??ohh god...M...I am so so so nervous..."

It is right very then Brian says looking into his phone - "K - Sarah wants to get on a video call...she's free now...to talk...she's saying..she wants to speak to you before you head..out to talk to Arnav..."

Khushi nods at Brian from across as he rings up Sarah now and Jack also comes by her side as he holds her by the shoulder in support too silently and warmly and he says - " it will be okay...everything will be okay...I am positive..."

Khushi hugs him back sideways and thanks him with a subtle warm nod.

And Just as Sarah picks up the videocall she says instantly in a rush to all - " babe.....I know...you are freaking out...k?but don't please..."

And Khushi nods at that as they all begin to talk and Khushi could only - thank god - over and over for her friends right now - given the warm ways in which they were each extending out their support to her in this moment of time.In the moment of time - that - she was finally just minutes away from heading to Arnav's - in order to begin sharing some truthful details about her Dad.

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In Arnav's Condo Pad

Arnav's POV

It's been about five minutes since I stepped into my Pad - a tad bit puzzled and confused.

Why?

Because - Khushi's nervous.

I just know she Is. Actually - scratch that. She isn't just Nervous. She's surely super nervous at the very thought off talking to me about the details about her Dad's hometown. I am pretty sure I have never spotted her vibe get consumed with so much nervousness and stiffness - ever before - as it did in that fraction of a second in the kitchen before - I bid bye to everyone else for the night and came here. I had to shift to acting normal momentarily - in the moment of course. Because I would never want to put the love of my life in an awkward spot in front of her friends. Ever.

But.

I can't help but wonder now.

Why is it that she's gotten this nervous???What could it be??? I mean - ofcourse I know for her - her Dad's always been an extremely sensitive zone - but it isn't that she'd be talking about him to me in first time in reference. She has done it before - in subtle ways - maybe - but yes she has.So - Why is she this crazily nervous??????

Ok.

Take deep breathes - Raizada.

And wait - patiently.

I eye the door to my Pad for her presence. She knows the code - she can surely get in on her own.

I think she's probably in the middle of a little talk with M, S, Brian and Jack before coming over to talk to me about this - for it's a given that they know what all of this is about - right????????

Hmmmmm.

Ok.

Wait.

Either way - I think - it's totally up to me - to make her begin to feel extremely comfortable and normal from the very second, she steps in now. I do not want her to feel awkward and nervous about this at all.

I smile to myself as an idea enters my mind. I know exactly how to make her smile and feel all normal. I get up from the couch I was lounging in my living room on - in wait.

On that note - briefly - guys - I do think it's only fair that I admit that every time I come here to my Condo Pad from now on - every corner of my Pad is going to remind me of my moments with Khushi here.A development I am extremely happy and elated about in my head - obviously.

Ok.

So now that I am in my room(again) - I head to open my wardrobe in front of me in a jiffy. I should have thought off this prior when I used the couple of minutes on hand to change for the night into my grey colour loose tee and my gap shorts. Never mind. Better late than never, right? And actually, I am not late - given that Khushi isn't here yet. (So - I obviously keep some of my stuff in here all the time - given that I do stay by here often when I am in Mumbai on any other business outside of official cricketing tours.)

As I am in the middle off going through the piles of my night tee-s and once I am done piling up about six of the ones I think she'd like to have in my left hand - I hear Khushi's soft and nervous voice from up closer behind me - " Arnav...you'v already changed for the night..haven't you?then why are you going through your wardrobe piling up on your tee's...baby??"

OHkkayyy.

She's Here.

She surely stepped in all slowly and silently - which once again assures me that she's way too nervous and jittery right now - otherwise she would have excitedly called out my name - the very second, she stepped in through the door.

Hmmmmm.

Ok.

Mission On.

I gotta make sure - I work through her nervous ordeal - first.

In Priority.

I turn around now grinning as I wink at her playfully and move forward towards her and hold her right hand and pull her closer into me.She's totally in that crazy nervous zone - right now. Also, her vibes - all vulnerable as she shoots me a nervous smile. I admit locking my gaze with hers and tucking a loose strand off her hair behind her ear casually - " because I know...you'd probably love to get your hold on a couple of my tee-s baby..see..I piled out six for you already...but know what...why don't you look through..my pile there..and see if...you want more????"

That makes Khushi smile a little and her eyes light up in momentary happiness through all that nervousness as she asks taking the pile of the tees from my hand suddenly into hers - " are these for me??? you were picking these out for me Arnav???"

I nod - grinning and I kiss her head.She pulls back and states with a little smile - " is it okay if I change into one for the night right now?? I mean you do know...I sleep in your tees..."

Thank god.

She smiled. Even if it was a little one.

I wink at her as I say - " yes ofcourse...Fiore...go in ..change into one...why do you think...I'v kept this pile ready in my hand for you...already..."

She chuckles a little at that and takes my black tee from the top and states rushing to the washroom - "give me a min...Arnav...ill just be back...,"and I nod at her at that and keep the stack of tees I'd taken out for her on the side in my wardrobe.

And a minute later just when I am expecting her to step out in my tee for the night all smiling - I am surprised and puzzled - because yes - even though Khushi's just stepped out all changed in just my tee for the night(Which usually runs uptil her thigh) - she is not grinning in glee right now - neither has her vibe eased down. Infact, - she's consumed in even more nervousness now as she asks next in a rush dashing to my wardrobe nervously and she steps towards it and begins to go through my pile of clothes as she asks - "so... would it be really okay if I take like some more tees of your's Arnav...maybe...like for real??? for I just remembered that I want more..while I was changing into this...in the bathroom....like.. atleast five more...or wait...maybe...six more....hmm...so yes... I already have like about twelve of your tees from prior..then I also sneaked through four of your practice jersey's so that makes it like...I already have - sixteen....ummm...gosh...I need more...some more for sure..,"and with that she continues to go through my tees and states pretty much to herself - "hmmm...I sleep in your tees mostly ever since...so...ummm will it be okay...if I probably take about 14 of your night tees from here...Arnav??so that I have like a different one to wear on like every night of the month???"

I chuckle at that puzzled from behind as I say folding my arms across my chest - " take it all baby...no worries...you can see I have a lot more than just 14 in that pile there...,"and she nods and states as she continues to go through my tees and piling some on her hands over the pile I had handed to her prior as she picks on it too and continues to say - " okay...yup...this ones kool...this one's...so you...I need a couple of blacks..more...some more...greys...some...more..whites..and ofcourse some of your blues...because yeah...technically you bleed blue...right??Arnav...all these tee-s , their style...etc...everything is so you.... I literally would have taken them all...if I had more space in my luggage.....anyway...given that I'm piling up on so much more....i'll just have to shift some of my stuff into M's luggage and preciously squeeze your tees in my very own suitcase..."

Hmmm.

Ok.

So why did I just chuckle puzzled a second - ago? Because as adorably she asked me that and is going through my wardrobe right now - I can't help but feel confused by her tone right now.And it's that very confusion that's taken over now for her tone - it's like it's extremely insecure and vulnerable as if she were feeling that she were going through my stuff for the last time.

Ok.

Wait.

Now I am worried.

I walk up to her from behind and I just hug her close from the waist hoping that my embrace right now helps easen her vibe and momentarily it does. For I am glad that she has snuggled back into my frame instantly and I ask now kissing her shoulder - " Khushi..what's up baby???",and she doesn't turn to look at me and states nervously - "nothings up baby...or wait...somethings up...and that's the bit...that either way...just know that you are never getting these tee's back Arnav...just buy your self some more later...k?? I mean...I'v picked out 14..oops wait..I need one more...because some months have 31 days....so yup...just one more....you know...just in case...I ...I...,"and she pauses and once she is done piling up on the tees in her hand - she turns around to face me and asks nervously - " I'd like to take all of these 15 tees Arnav...can I?? is that okay????you handed me six prior...I wore one...I chose these nine more...kool????".

Ok.

She's totally holding onto tears - right now.Her eyes are also clouded with momentary angst. Does she think - it's even going to miss my eye right now???

She freaking knows I can sense every bit off her ordeal right now.

Okay.

That's It.

Enough.

I need to get her talking.

I take the stack of tees from her hand and place it in a pile on the shelf in my wardrobe in a jiffy.And the very next second - I pull her into a crushing hug now instantly as I kiss her shoulder and ask concerned - " khushi...yes...baby...its totally okay...take it all...like I said...but I want to know... what is it that's up with you? Why does it feel like you are on about this right now...as if a part of you is thinking that this is the last time...you are going through my stuff....baby??why is there so much nervousness in your vibe...and all that angst in your eyes...plus those tears...you can't hide your ordeal from me dammit.....and nope...do not even try to pull that freaking godammit switch on me...right now...you know I will see through it...."

She hugs me hard back at that as she whispers softly - " yup...I know you will see it through even if I try which is why I anyway won't ....for..the switch doesn't even work around you anymore...Arnav...and...I... I think you just felt what you asked me because...maybe because...somewhere...in my head...it's what I was thinking anyway..."

I pull her up at that puzzled and worried as I make her look into my eyes tucking her chin up my very own emotions beginning to go haywire now - "what do you mean dammit? did you just imply that there's a part of you that's was thinking for real - that what if this was the last time you were going through my stuff??? In your head?? But given that you used the word just head...it tells me...it wasn't what you were thinking in your heart...Khushi...?? Because I just freaking know it that you would not have it in your heart to even think the same....answer me now...please?? before I lose my mind in worry right now...baby...please..."

She nods nervously as a lone aching tear falls of her eye and she holds my arm tight and caresses my cheek urgently- "yeah...l did just think it in my mind...Arnav...in that part off my mind...that fears..."

I ask cupping her face as well and caressing her cheeks still - all puzzled, worried, and frazzled - " fears what??"

She closes her eyes at that and two tears leave her eyes before she just hugs me back all tight and whispers in a rush - "loosing you...baby...what else could I fear all vulnerably this way......because...what if...what if...,"and she pauses and she begins to sob a little in my arms as she tries to whisper again - " wha..t...if..."

Ok.

Wait.

As much as I am dying to know where this bit has come from all of a sudden - I need her to stop crying a little and just calm down.

I pull up now and I kiss her cheeks first and then her forhead and then her lips briefly and softly and I whisper wiping her tears away- " you need some water...first..fiore...lets get you some...k?,"and as she nods in an intense silence - I take her by the hand in silence to the kitchen and I gesture her to sit on the chair in front of the island table in the kitchen and I fill out a glass of water for her urgently and shove it in front of her as I state deeply concerned - " drink it up now...please..."

Thankfully - she does.

And once she is the middle of that - I pick out another glass and I fill it up with water again and walk upto her across and take my seat on the chair across of her pulling it closer towards her and I clutch her hand- handing the other glass of water in support and once she is done gulping that down too and placing it on the side - I just kiss hands as I ask now softly locking my gaze with her nervous and angsty eyes - " okay...did the H20 help??"

Khushi nods - "a little maybe....yes...it did..."

I kiss her hands again worried and I ask straight out now gulping down my worry, confusion and overwhelmed emotions with my worried gaze searching her face for some more clues- "good...so..you wana try telling me..why is it that thought off/fear of losing me came to you suddenly on your way to my pad right now baby??,"and I lace both my hands through hers as I state reassuringly again - " Khushi...it's me...your Arnav...you can always talk to me about anything and everything...see I am right here...holding your hand through this...

Khushi nods takes a deep breath as she whispers - " yeah...I'll try...telling you...about it..so the thought came because...because...,"And she pauses again and I clutch on her hand in support as I ask kissing on her hand again - " because...??"

A fresh tear rolls of Khushi's eye which I wipe away instantly and she says holding my palm over her cheek leaning her cheek into my hand all emotional - " because......when I was walking my way in here...something in my gut told me me...that just beginning to talk to you about Dad's hometown right now is probably going to lead to chained conversations....about the other stuff...that I have been holding back from you...baby....I..I.....,"and she pauses to just kiss on my hands - nervously.

And it hits me then.

Like a Sudden Realisation.

All that other vulnerable stuff - that she's held on to - is not another topic at all. It is probably just in extended relation to her Dad??????????????????????

I ask her instantly to reconfirm - "wait...so...all that other stuff is not another topic at all??? Its just something in extended relation to your Dad...Khushi??"

Khushi nods and she says nervously - " yeah..kind off..Dad too...but yeah...Mum too...just both my parents...actually...and me too...as in...just the three of us...Me..Mum...Dad..."

And just like that as worried I was prior - all my worry vanishes away in the fraction of a second and gets displaced by a sudden gush of Love - for just this mere hint from her that we were now probably going to be talking about the bit that could lead to chained conversations and make her open to me about the other stuff - makes me feel like that my moment of confession of Love - was probably nearer than I thought.

And before I can even say anything to that she whispers softly looking up at me frazzled - " so...yeah...as that gut intuition came...also came in the thought...that....just in case ...you say......you..don't wana...see me again....after you hear..what I have to say and we do end up talking about it all....then....ill lose you then...wouldn't I??"

Ok.

That's riled me up a little.

I gape at her shocked as I state keeping my intent gaze locked with hers - "and that is the fear of your mind talking again- right? not your heart...Khushi??"

She sighs at that and nods clutching on my hand again - " maybe a little bit of both..baby..for remember until this point...I would always tell you...that me not opening upto you yet didn't have anything to do with you...it wasn't that you hadn't given me security or comfort...it was just about me holding onto it..because I just wanted and needed more memories...with you...for after...in case..you....walk..away..or in this case given that I am in your pad...and you ask me to leave.....right now...and never come in front off you again....,"and she continues in an added rush - " so...I just wanted to get my hands on some off your stuff...prior...you know..just in case..,"she finishes with another sigh and her eyes well up a lot more as she states nervously - " and just in case you do want me to leave...after...just give me those two minutes...to get your tee-s..k.??Arnav???and yeah...just another two minutes more...to just kiss you...goodbye...then.....,"she finishes with another worried sigh with her vibe converting into a zone that's completely - timid, vulnerable and frightened as she shoots me a brave smile through her tears as I look at her zapped and shaken and frazzled taking all of that in.

Wait.

What???????????????????

That was why she needed and was taking her time - all these days??????????Because she wanted more memories with me????

Also - Did she just say that last bit to me???????

Is that what she thinks I could do?? After all this while?? Just ask her to leave outta my Pad right now and never show me her face again?????Did she just ask me in that??????

My insides are beginning to get consumed in shades of riled up Hurt. But then again - I also know this is not her fault. Its that deep rooted freaking insecurity within her subconsciousness that's talking right now. And ofcourse her previous experience with Rob.

Hmmmmm.

It's good that I know and am sure - the exact freaking way - I wana uproot that dammed insecurity and tackle this issue. Once and for all.

I pull her closer by the hand and cup her face and crush my lips over hers suddenly in an emotional and slow kiss that I am sure can give her a peekaboo into my overwhelmed emotions. I whisper into her lips intensely - four intense minutes later - my heart breaking in helplessness right now given that even though she's only kissed me back as intensely - her vibes still consumed in fear as if this were the last time she was kissing me and I am sure that my very own eyes have welled up too - " how could...you?? dammit?? how could you even say all of this...right now?? Khushi??after all this while???your minds going freaking beserk....your heart doesn't back this...at all...I know it doesn't..."

She whispers into my lips continuing to kiss me emotionally briefly alternating in between closing her upper lip over my lower one or the other way round - "yeah it doesn't..and yes..maybe..my mind has gone beserk....but......Arnav...that's coz...in that simple moment off time when we you made that statement about the Shepherds Pie...it only hit me like a freaking stone all over again...that I have just been selfish..with regards to this...I mean...I have been...super selfish...in keeping this from you...only because of what I feel for you...because I couldn't even stand the thought off parting away from you....in my heart....but then....when I looked at it from the birds eye perspective...on my way here down the staircases......and I also flipped a coin imaginarily in my head on my way here...to ask...myself...that ...if such a thing happened...that if the entire topic about my vulnerability... was where the direction of our conversation headed than...would I wana open up to you about it...??and face the consequences after - in that fraction of a second - my heart did say - that it did not have it in it to be selfish anymore no matter how much a part of it still just wanted to be....for yes...you have every right to know the truth and know it all...so that you can make your decision...my heart that feels for you so strongly is the one that...told me...that I should not keep anything at all..from you..anymore...."

Oh.

Baby.

You have no idea that My decisions been made Already.And no matter what you say - that's not going to Change.

But as I am just soaking the vulnerability of the moment in she whispers into my lips with tears striking her cheeks again - "so yeahh...is it okay if I just keep kissing you for a little while more...Arnav?? Before I begin talking?????????five minutes...just give me five minutes....please...."

Ok.

She's killing me with an emotion so intense and potent right now - that everything in my being is going all haywire.

I snake my hands into her hair and pull her closer and just continue to kiss her back all emotionally hoping that she can sense the reassurance I was trying to pour into our kiss intensely right now . And an emotion+ vibe - extremely potent+ angsty and beautiful fills up the air in between of us right now - because in her head - I think - she was kissing me assuming that it would be the last time she would be and I was kissing her slowly, sensuously and emotionally - knowing that I was not very far away from confessing my love to her - once and for all.

Yeah.

It was a Vibe that was very Heartbreakingly Beautiful.

.................................

Fifteen More Minutes Later

Arnav POV Continues

Khushi pauses on kissing me now as she whispers into my lips - "water...I'd like a couple of sips of some water...now ...before I talk to you..."

Of course our vulnerable kiss lasted longer than the five minute she asked for.

I nod at her now and before she starts to fill up the glass herself reaching up for the bottle upfront on the shelf - I reach out to it first and I fill it in for her quick as I ask softly - " and did my kiss right now relate anything that I was trying too relate to you subtly? or was your mind still too keen on magnifying your fear that the vibe did not reach your heart at all...Khushi??"

She nods and takes a deep breathe and drinks up a couple of sips of her water as she states shooting it me a sad smile - " the reassurance you were trying to pour in there intensely did not miss hitting the mark in my heart..baby..but sometimes...it's just that...the reality is...so sensitive...you don't really know how the other person will react to it until its all out in the open...,"and she hands me the half glass of water she was holding up on and says softly - "you too...just drink it up...please...."

I do so - immediately. It was what I was going to need until the minute she finished letting it all out. Once I took the last sip - she asks softly - "should I start now??"

I nod at her and take back my seat on the chair on the island table.

She rubs her hand over her face nervously as she states clutching on my hand - " okay...so first thing out...I'd like to say...that my Dad...is from a different faith and culture from ours too...as in from Mum's...Arnav...as in technically....I'v lived all my life until now practicing and embracing Mum's faith and culture...but technically...I do not even know..if is that's what it should be for me...because....both my parents...stem from and have practiced different faith's and cultures....I know...you are very sorted in your head with regards to all of this....but...yeah...it's only fair that I start with this...soooo....,"and she pauses.

Okayyyyyyyy!!!!!!

Seriuosly???????

Is this what she is worried about so much????????

I smile a little now as I kiss her hand - " alrightyyyy......that's exactly what I wana say...Khushi......soooooooooo what??????????? you think that's something that makes any difference to me at all?????? You surely know it in your heart ...that it doesn't...make any difference...to me... baby...all of the faiths and cultures around the world are beautiful...you know I believe that...just like I also believe that - that bit does not supersede the angle of humanity for me.... ...,"and I add with a playful wink - " actually..even if you were an alien...it wouldn't matter to me...at all....all that matters is what I feel with you...baby..."

Khushi smiles a little at that as she says - "don't kid...baby...not right now..."

I whisper sincerely leaning forward to kiss her forehead - " and look into my eyes...and tell me if they tell you that I am kidding right now....ofcourse...I am not...Fiore...I don't freaking care a damm about this....at all...k?? just like I know you don't care too - I mean...technically I am from a different faith and culture from yours too right - but that doesn't change or impact ...how you feel about me...you tell me...does it???"

Khushi states instantly on reflex - "of course it doesn't.... you are you...my Arnav...my human..."

I nod kissing on her head again as I pull her into a warm hug - " exactly baby....and you are my Khushi.....my human...and to me...that's all that matters..for real...."

Khushi hugs me even harder momentarily and a silent intent minute later she pulls back as she whispers holding onto my hands all laced in hers tight - " well I started with this- because I knew this was the easiest bit to get out...given that I did not anticipate you to freak out much over the matter of difference in faith etc...so yeah..now that I got that bit out..I think...I should add the details about my Dad's hometown too...so ...my Dad's hometown...is in...,"and she pauses takes a deep breathe all nervously and I ask - " is in???"

And she says in a rush clutching on my hand now - "Lahore...as in...Lahore,Pakistan...and that's exactly where I am headed tomorrow...Arnav..."

Ok.

Wait.

Again.

Did she really just take a deep breathe that way because she had to mention - Lahore, Pakistan to me????? Probably because I am Indian???

And I say now immediately on reflex nodding taking that information in - "and Lahore's a beautiful city..so I'v heard from all the dressing room tales from our seniors who'v toured there in the past - Khushi...I told you some..remember??? and last I checked - across the borders in all our neighbouring countries also - be it China, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Nepal, Pakistan - it's the humans that populate the countries and cities..and not aliens...and even the alien bit isn't a point of concern to my mind at all...from the point I told you prior.....I mean you could be one of those kickass residents from Planet Krypton and I'd be least bothered..by that angle...too...I'd just be happy that you'd know Superman and Supergirl..then...in some ways atleast...,"I finish with a playful wink.

And she smiles a little at that and she states - " really?? are you going to quote Planet Krypton/Superman/Supergril to me right now???"

I nod and I kiss her hand again reassuringly as I ask - "yes I will...and did you really just take that deep breathe that way all nervously Khushi...to mention Pakistan to me...only because I am an Indian???"

Khushi nods nervously - "yeah...maybe because I know the sensitive dynamics at play in between your countries...so technically....I just wana say this again..in all clarity that...my Dad's a Muslim...my Mums a Catholic....and I...am supposed to be more of which faith...I don't know..all I know...is that I'v lived and practiced what/how Mum's raised...me... ""

Soooooooooooooooo????????

Like that's any deal for me???????

I admit now shrugging casually (again)- " and once again...I just have to emphasis this again baby...soooooooooo freaking what??????? you are a human first...and I am serious about this...I am not kidding..."

Khushi gapes at me surprised a little as she asks - "really ? it doesn't bother you at all?? That my dad's from Pakistan??"

I smile at that a little on reflex as I ask pointing to my face - "and what does my face tell you? you know it's freaking expressive...don't you baby??"

Khushi searches my facial expressions and she states - " Well your expressions are all casual and normal...it's not like your trying to cover up any sort of a discomfort...I would have spotted it otherwise....you seem really casual about it...for real...as if it weren't a big deal to you at all...like at allllllllll??"

I state now holding onto her hands all tight - " because it is casual to my head and heart baby..it is not a big deal at all....oh c'mon please...Khushi...I get where you are coming from...given that...there is a lot of history in between our countries and the ways things have been usually perceived over time.....for yes there is so much history...which again has two sides to it...there is a sensitive side...but then there's also the other side that's got a lot brotherhood/longing/compassion to it too...and look...I like to believe in my heart that the common man across every border around the world - is first - a Human - and it stands that way when it comes to our immediate neighbours too..infact guess what...my Nani's parents moved to India..from Pakistan at the time of partition back in the day...when our countries were one - I think they were from Peshawar.... So yeah - technically - a part of my family is rooted from Pakistan even though they are Hindus...Nani has a lot of these tales from her parents time before partition...which is why I said...as much as there is the other sensitive side of the coin that people like to see and give more weightage too often - there's this other side of brotherhood/longing/compassion too which I most surely like to keep my focus at - for so many families got so much history rooted around our borders..baby...trust me...you head to Amritsar...or adjoining borders of Punjab, Rajasthan, the little villages around there...you'll hear all those tales of brotherhood too....because yeah - when the geographical maps shifted it uprooted so many lives and families on both the sides of the borders...like overnight...but....there are still so many people from the older generation living in Punjab or other adjoining areas of our country that have lived half their childhood/young adult life across in Lahore, Karachi, Peshawar, Hyderabad etc ....and they long and miss and ache for those moments/memories too....I mean my Nani always told us that her parents always longed and remembered it all with such fondness irrespective of the boundaries now - infact they moved from Amritsar to Lucknow eventually...like later on...but when they migrated this side from Peshawar, Pakistan..Punjab's where they lived for a bit...so yeah please...just take this silly thought outta your mind - K? the geographical location/home address of your Dad across the border in Pakistan - does not define or become a point of deflection for my feelings for you...k?"

Khushi smiles a little at that as she states - " okay...you seriously missed telling me about this bit of your Nani's parents rooting from Pakistan...baby...then maybe...I wouldn't have been this nervous about this bit...,"and just as that little smile came it vanishes as she reaches out to fill out some water and I do it for her this time around too and she drinks up half the glass(again) and gives me the other half and as I sip it down clutching her hand tight - she whispers all the worry back in her eyes - "ok...so...I just flipped the coin imaginarily in my head again....I do wana go on with this conversation...with you...for like I said...you should know...everything..."

I state finishing the glass of water and clutching on her hand in support - "go on...please..."

She gets up from her spot in the chair now and walks up a little and then turns around to look at me as she whispers conflicted - " I don't know...k?

I pull her upfront by her hand and make her stand in front of me within the circle of my arms as I ask puzzled lacing my arms through her waist again in a subtle gesture of reassurance once again- "huh??what don't you know???"

Khushi sighs as she states - "honestly.... I don't know...if Dad ever kept his word to Mum about...never eating any other version of the Shepherd's Pie...,"and her eyes well up on reflex as she keeps her welled up gaze locked with mine and she adds on with another sigh - "actually neither does Mum....we both don't know the answer to that..."

I look at her puzzled still as I lace my hand through one of her's and kiss on it too gently - "huh????what do you mean????"

Khushi sighs now as she clutches on my hand back and admits - "because they parted..prior to her ever knowing the answer to the same baby......"

I nod and I state what I already know - "you mean...because your Dad passed..prior to your Mum ever getting the chance to ask him the same???"

Khushi cups my face at that as she shakes her head in a NO as she whispers - lines of fresh tears leaving both her eyes butchering my heart again - " No...Arnav...I am sorry for leading you on to believe the very same until this point...that Dad just passed before I was born which was how I never knew him and...to be honest..I kind of lived with the same information until I was 18....but no...my Dad's alive....very much alive...and living....I'v just never known him...because...because...,"she pauses to gesture me that she's going to need some water and I fill up a little for her immediately first and she begins to gulp on it as I gape at her in a stunned - surprise at that.

LIKEEEEEEEEEEEE WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT????????????

WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY????????????

HER DAD'S ALIVE OUT THERE?

AND SHE KNOWS THAT? EVER SINCE SHE WAS 18??

DAMM.

Ok.

Seriously I was not expecting - this At All.

And it freaking Hurt me within.Its stabbed me within. And before you all misunderstand its not because she lead me on to think otherwise until this point. It's because - My heart just broke for her all over again as I imagine the sight off the 18 year old coming face to face with this truth all of a sudden.Because the only thing that could probably Hurt so much more than losing a parent - is not knowing them at all - when they are still alive in Reality.Right?? How did she freaking even cope up with such a huge shift in her consciousness then with this knowledge???????? I mean she totally lived the first 18 years off her life knowing and beleiving that he wasn't alive out there right? and then to just know One fine day - that He's out there?And she just didn't know him all this while ???And - Why would Mrs.J even do that to her????????????????

But before I get to ask her that - I need to know how she held it all up then? When she was 18?????????????

Yeah.

That's exactly what I need to know first.

The very second she finishes the glass of water and keeps it back on the island table - I pull her into a crushing hug taking her by surprise as I hold her close and snug into my arms as I ask my heart breaking for her over and over sure that she could sense the concern for the past younger her in my voice- " and before I ask you why would Mrs J even do that...Fiore...I wana know...how did you cope up with this.... Khushi dammitt? Then??? when you were 18??? It must have hit you like a brick dammit...right?? To just know one fine day...that your Dad's alive out there?????"

I feel Khushi stiffen in my arms at that as she suddenly pulls back and gapes at me all shocked and surprised and dazed- " wait...wait...whattt??? Come again....is that what you wana...know...first??? And not the rest of what I wana say...Arnav??and are you not mad at me...for leading you on to think otherwise till this point at all......???????"

I cup her face sincerely as I admit honestly - "why would I be mad at you for leading me on to think the same for the while I have known you...when I now know...that you'v freaking lived the first 18 years of your life..with that knowledge and belief prior??? Baby?? Are you crazyyy??? All I think off right now is the various visions of you breaking down then...in that moment off time...and I can't even begin to imagine...the shock...the hurt...the emotions that you went through initially....I mean...knowing Mrs J as much as I do...I am sure..she had her reasons which you surely made your efforts to understand over time...but that's the second step to coping up...right? initially it must have freaking...hurt...immense...right??????????? please talk to me ..Fiore...tell me...how you freaking coped up with this then?? tell me now...or you'd have me ask M, Brian and Jack about the same...please...."

Khushi's eyes well up at that as fresh fountains off tears leave her eyes again at that and I wipe them away and she whispers softly - " I'll tell you...Arnav...but...after....this bit..please..let me just get it all out...for honestly this is the most sensitive bit that I am about to get out to you now...."

I nod at her at that as I caress her cheeks gesturing her to go on silently and she whispers now locking her gaze with mine as fresh tears ooze out her eyes over and over - " it wasn't like Mum's fault or anything Arnav..as in yes...she had her reasons...I'll get into the details if say you wana know them after you listen to this basic crux of the matter....so Mum told me about it all only when I turned 18...because she felt like she was protecting me from the hurt of the same...until then....about how things shaped up in my parent's lives....so...basically....they did part before I was born...as in...yeah...that of it is true....but....they broke up back then because they couldn't bridge through their differences then even though they were deeply in love with one another...fights began....the parting was kind off ugly..Mum told him she never wanted to see him again..etc etc.....and then after...Dad eventually gave into the pressure of an arranged marriage back in Lahore...Mum was trying to cope up with the heartbreak at her end...and she only found out like eight weeks after their break up that she was pregnant with me...Dad was already two three weeks married by then..which is why she never got in touch with him or told him about me...given that she didn't want to disrupt the settled life he was moving on with.....so technically...it's like...Mom and Dad were never married......which means that if we were to go by the norms of societies - my existence is not authorized by a stamp off wedlock..Arnav....it's illegitimate...my parents were never married.......there you go...I said it...out loud to you....,"and she pauses and buries her face in her hands as she states all nervous and frightened again the timid vibe back to consume her as she continues to sob a little - " nothing about my existence is like legit normal if say looked by the legit rules of the societal norms around the world Arnav..its illegitimate..and...maybe....scandalous to some...and probably according to Dad's culture...maybe sinful too.....but it is what it is..."

OhhhKKAYYYY.

WAITTTTTTTTTTT.

NOW I AM FREAKING FURIOUS.

Yeah.

As I take that - ALL IN - I AM FREAKING FURIOUS.

WHY?

Before any of you misunderstand me - its because she just freaking used the words - SCANDULOUS AND SINFUL - WITH HER EXISTENCE.

I can't take it.

I will not take it.

I am going to tell her that.

I cannot have her say those words to me - ever again - with the context of her existence in it. Is she crazy??? Has she lost her Mind??? How is this any of her fault in the first place????? What happened with Mrs J and her Dad - is not a baggage for her to burden her heart with - at all. But then just like that as I continue to observe her frame as she's sobbing right now - I also understand where she is coming from.

Ok.

I need to pull her in my arms - right now. Oh damm. I observe her frame and vibe shifting too being even more timid and frightened as she begins stepping back. Crap. I'v been silent outwardly, haven't I???for these last two seconds?????

Godammit Me.

I step up to act and pull her in my arms now immediately and just as I am about too she whispers continuing to step back keeping her eyes covered still - "Arnav...ill just be back..k? give me two..i'll use the washroom...... your silence right now...is a hint..to me obviously...that you probably are too shocked by this and need a couple of minutes to soak this in... I'll just be back from the washroom...k? and then say... if you want me to leave...I will...,"and with that she begins to dash towards my room with her one hand still all snug over her eyes.

But do I let her??

Of course Not.

I act on - Faster - Now.Cursing myself for my momentary couple of seconds - silence.But that's not my fault guys - I mean you did hear the words she used for her existence right????? It was obvious it took me a couple of those seconds to gulp that down - given that I am the one who thanks God every day for her existence.

I hold her by her hand and turn her around and pull her into a crushing hug as I kiss her head over and over holding onto her possessively and tight - "No...dammit...No....you are not going anywhere...Khushi...I am not going to freaking let you outta my sight right now......Fiore......"

Khushi. My Fiore. You have no idea how much I love you - My Darling.And It's About Time - I tell You That Along with the other bit.That I will not Give up on You - Ever.

Come what May.

All of this - doesn't freaking bother me at all.

It most surely doesn't.

About time - I say that to you - Once and For All.About time - I freaking uproot that insecurity from your Heart - once and for all.

I kiss her head over and over as I say now sincerely hugging her even harder and closer clinging onto her as if my Life depended on it - "" The only place you are jetting away right now...to..fiore...is my arms baby.....for I just wana hold you right now....and once you are done sobbing as much as you want in my arms and I am done wiping your tears away....I still wana know first...how you coped up with all off this when you found it out in that moment off time...when you were 18...khushi...I really wana know all that the 18 year old you went through...please...talk to me...tell me....I am not going anywhere...baby...definitely not walking away... because I don't have it in me too....to ever walk away from you....I know...my silence for those couple of seconds threw you off guard but....that's only because...I was gulping down my furiousness that I felt over you using the words - Scandalous and Sinful for your very existence...baby...given that I am the one who freaking thanks god...every day for it.....because for me just like it is to Mrs J......your very existence is a heavenly blessing Fiore......you are the one God's made exclusively just for me....isn't it?? so how could I not feel furious over your choice of words in those vulnerable couple of seconds...promise me something...will you please baby?? never use those words in front off me in line with your life...ever again....will you please?? for hell yeah...then...I am going to freaking upset with you..."

.....................................................................

Khushi's POV

WAITTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?????

DID I HEAR HIM RIGHT?????

DID HE JUST SAY WHAT HE JUST DID????????

He WAS SILENT BECAUSE - HE WAS FURIOUS OVER MY CHOICE OF WORDS WITH REGARDS TO THE CONTEXT OF MY BIRTH and Life??

And not because he was thinking in his head how to ask me to leave in the most gentlemanly - way - possible??????????????

Oh Yes.

Ofcourse that was exactly what my vulnerable mind jumped to momentarily when he was silent in those couple of seconds - dumping me into frozen liquid bloody nitrogen and cold storage with one part of my mind being like - I just axed my own feet. And the other part of my mind being all like - I did the right thing by telling him the truth. And I just realise that - the last bit off - about who my Dad is - is something I still have to get around too telling Him.

But - what if this is a Dreammmm???"

I ask now sure that my voice was shaking in crazy vulnerability as I pull back from his arms for a second as I lock my emotional welled up gaze with his intent and emotional ones feeling all zapped, shaken and shocked and surprised, astonished, and dazed - " did...I hear you right...right now?? Arnav?? Did you just say...what you just did?? Or did I imagine hearing this????"

Arnav smiles a little at that as he says cupping my face instantly again sincerity shining in his eyes - " you didn't imagine it baby...do you want me to write it down...or send it to you in the voice note???"

I shake my head in a No as I ask deeply touched - My Insides falling in Love with him freaking all over again in the moment off time as I end up asking on reflex - " do you really wana know what I went through in that moment of time...still? When I was 18???"

Arnav nods sincerely and he caresses my cheeks - " ofcourse...I wana know...Khushi...for now...it's like the gravity of everything you'v been through within all this while...sinks in...it hits me now...I realise how deep this hurt/wound ran...with regards to your Dad...Khushi...because I understand that probably the only thing that could be more hurtful that losing a parent...is to know that they are out there and you haven't known them and they don't even know about you.....and from where I see it...none of this was ever your fault...fiore...ever...why should you carry the baggage off this over your heart subconsciously even...I mean....how could you even for a second say there's nothing legit normal about your birth..c'mon baby..there's only one normal act...that brings children to life...okay?? And from what I can sense...your parents were in love..when they had you...maybe it didn't work out after...but how does that change the context - it was still love right?and that your conception came about in the most natural way as it usually does for any other human being....and guess what?? I am so proud of Mrs J..and her strength right now...she's one helluva strong woman...and I am proud of you and your strength too...for facing this turmoil within...for I cannot even begin to imagine the kind of strength....you must have needed to make these vital shifts in your mind then...for sometimes...consciousness reacts first...but the subconscious mind..takes its own time to come around things...which is why....now...I completely get the context of it all....."

Oh Man.

IS HE SAYING ALL THIS TO ME FOR REAL? RIGHT NOW?? THE VERY WORDS THAT MUM JUST SAID TO ME A WHILE BACK ALONG WITH EVERYTHING ELSE?? OR IS IT THE FIGMENT OF MY DELUSIONAL IMAGINATION??????

THAT' HAD BEEN SO DESPARATELY HOPING FOR THIS VERY MOMENT to happen in my Reality because it had felt like a far etched Miracle - outta my Reach.

IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING TO ME??

I ask him again my voice shaking in partial daze and disbelief still as I state looking at him brushing his arms URGENTLY as he's statued to his spot right now in front off me with immense intensity of emotions shining in his eyes - " you are here...you are still standing in front off me...Arnav...you are not walking away...you did say..after hearing me out...that you don't have it in you to ever walk away from me...didn't you??you are still standing right here...you are not moving...your not walking away...nor are you asking me to leave...for real????"

Arnav nods and he hugs me hard at that as he states - " yes...Khushi...yes....,"and he sighs and whispers in my ears now urgently - " okay...this can't wait...longer....hold on...wait..,"and he's about to move but I don't let him as I hug him back and I whisper holding him snug harder now clinging onto him possessively as I state nervously feeling the worry return - my insides feeling too scared to bask in the feeling off Eternal Joy within without letting this bit out about Dad's identity too as I whisper - " wait...don't...don't go...Arnav...anywhere...right now....please...don't move...I still need to tell you something more..just one thing more.....just hold me this..way...please....."

He sighs and kisses my head - "okay...I will hold you...but...before you say..what you need to now...I need...to tell you something dammit...please... I cannot handle the insecurity in your vibe anymore Khushi with regards to me in context at the least...I can't take it...not anymore...I'v been wanting to uproot it my way once and for all...for a while now....for in my heart...I knew...there's only one way...that I can seal this through in your head once and for all.....that I am not freaking going anywhere my Fiore....come what may....do you understand what that means??? Come what may???and I am afraid I am running outta my patience now...just let me have my moment please..."

Wait.

What Does He Mean by all of that??????

What moment??????????

I pull up at that as I ask locking my gaze with his - "wait...what do you mean??"

Arnav kisses my head as he states urgently - "hold on...here...k? give me a second...ill be back."

I nod puzzled as I see him walk to the kitchen island table and he picks up a notepad lying there and begins to jot down something on it.

WAIT.

What is he doing???

What is he writing down right now?????????

Arnav walks back to me instantly in about thirty seconds as he holds the Notepad snug in his hand as he states - " so...given that you drew us our Band -Aid bridge last time around - I thought why not use the notepad again...but....I suck at doodling and I cannot anyway write this bit down in fancy calligraphy or a fancier handwriting font given that my handwriting is also average - I just simply wrote something down and signed it - K? I am going to hand it over now to you...for you read it..k??"

I nod at him puzzled and my hand reaches out on its own to take the notepad from his hand but he holds it up in front off me himself and I find myself looking at his handwritten words that state - I will Not Walk Away My Fiore. Now or Ever. I will Not Give Up on You...Dammit. Now or Ever. I will be that Whirlwind that Lasts - Now and freaking Always.Ask me Why???This very second. Please...Just ASK ME WHY?

(It's also signed by Him) - below.

I GAPE AT HIM - DAZED AND PERPLEXED.

Why?

Because as much as I wana ask him - Why?? I do feel like I just need to get the bit off Who - my Dad - is off my chest - like right very nowww too.

And I end up asking him now in a sudden rush - " but...before I ask you this...Why???? Arnav...do you not want to ask me Who???? As in... won't you ask who my Dad/Abbu is?????now?? what's his name??I am heading to Lahore...only because I just wana see him from across once...Arnav...and to obviously feel the places he's grown up in...so that I can just feel closer to him in my head for the rest of my life....I am sure...that bit you'v simply understood again...but do you not wana ask - Who???"

Arnav gapes at me in disbelief as he states - " Khushi...dammit...baby..please....why won't you let me.. just..have my moment...right now....,"and I spot a frustrated gaze consume his eyes as he takes a deep breathe and gestures me that now - he was heading to get himself some water.

I nod at him dazed and he heads up - all of his expressions and vibe - a tad bit frustrated.

Ok.

Wait.

I think I just put him off for a second - by interrupting his moment???

But then - that's only because - he needs to knowww it all through the end. I can't delay it longer .

I will not delay it Longer - Not even by a Second.

...............................................

So - Why had Arnav walked away to get a hold on some water himself now to sip on?

Because ofcourse - he needed it to gulp down his momentary frustration off having Khushi pausing him on the moment he was just seconds away from admitting his love to her. He couldn't hold onto his patience anymore in that moment of time and yet again he had too. He's in the middle of gulping down some water as he suddenly feels Khushi hug him from behind as she whispers nervously clutching on his shoulders- " I know...I put you off with my interruption...Arnav...I am sorry..but please....it's only because...before you say anything right now...you really need to know..who my Dad is...."

Arnav keeps the bottle he was gulping down the water from on the table now in a thud and he turns around to face Khushi holding onto his last remainder off strands off patience with great difficulty as he cups her face now urgently and says in a rush of emotion - "don't be sorry..k? but...what if I still wana say...what I wana say..first...Khushi..."

Khushi looks at him all perplexed and dazed still as she finally blurts it out knowing that this will be the exact way to get his attention - "you really need to know who my Dad is first..because it's like you know him already...indirectly..."

And that obviously - caught Arnav's attention - momentarily as he asks stunned in surprise - " wait........what????? what did you just say...fiore??? I know your Dad...indirectly???"

Khushi nods as she gulps down her nervousness again as she states brushing her hand over her face in rushed emotions - " yeah...you do...infact....you even know my half-brother...as in My Dad's son with his wife - his legitimate family....indirectly..or wait..techincally...you know...my half-brother..kind off directly...given that you'v already met him before...in your life...."

That continues to Surprise and Stun- Arnav even more now as he asks puzzled gesturing to Khushi brushing his hand in his hair confused unable to connect the dots in his head right now because of the rollercoaster of emotions he was feeling within too - " huh??? what do you mean??????"

And Khushi finally takes a deep breathe as she lets it all out in the next second in a rush - " Rehaan Khan....is my father...the ex - cricketer from Pakistan...who is the current head of the Pakistan Cricket Board...which makes his son - Raahil Khan...my half -brother - the one you already met..in the nets before the ICC champions Trophy Final...a couple of years ago...remember when you first mentioned it to me...weeks ago coincidentally....I ...inquired more...in the most subtle ways I could then...I had momentarily been consumed in angst then because that's what the sight off Dad up on TV often does to me for the initial bit...and when I inquired more about your conversation with Raahil...it was because...a part of me..then..was craving to know..the little I could about my half-brother - through you....and actually now that I finally say this out loud to you....I think I would want to begin to address Dad as Abbu in my head more often too - given that's what traditionally his son calls him.....yeah...so now you know...My Dad's was a cricketer too...my half-brother is too..."and she finally pauses at that feeling all of the weight of the guilt(that she had been keeping this from him until now) lift off her heart - in that fraction off a second - making her feel all light even through the anxiety.

The very second those words left Khushi's mouth - they had stunned and surprised and dazed and astonished - Arnav to the core of Infinity - Indeed. His jaw did drop open a little in shock and his eyes did widen up to the size of a cricket ball too.Because he was not expecting to hear what he just did. Like - nowhere - literally in any corner in his head could he have ever imagined the crazy co-incidence of this all. And now as he looked at Khushi gaping at him nervously right now waiting for his reaction - and using the water as her momentary distraction again - it all just began to sink in over and over.

It all hits him - again as he observes Khushi filling out glasses of water for herself and dunking them down all the while looking at him nervously in anticipation. Now that very pact off her's about Staying away from Cricketers in the beginning had come under his eye in the new light. Her subconsciously referring to him as the Whirlwind prior - came under a new light too. Her consciously always being so worried about their difference in faiths and culture and countries prior because it was probably that gap her parents couldn't bridge. Her - often relating the little moments in between of them to her parents. Like the very little moment with the Shepherd's Pie. Her statement about wanting to make memories to hold onto - just incase he walked away from her - because that's how she'd seen her Mum live on. Now - everything began to fit like those pieces of puzzle together in his mind. And he instantly - knew. That even though consciously she was making those efforts at her end - it was only obvious that her subconsciousness had been taking it's own little while to move past and process the coincidence off this all.

Which was why - now - it was more vital for him - to confess his love to her this next very minute. He was now glad that Khushi had interrupted him with this because now - his gut told him - that his confession would have that exact impact he wanted it too on her subconscious mind too. And he also wanted to address the nervous ordeal he continued to spot in her frame as she finished drinking the whole bottle of water down and begins to head her way to the other side off the ledge to get another bottle for herself.

Arnav takes a couple of deep breathes now and he acts on faster than her to get that bottle out to her first and he fills out her glass for her again and hands it to her as he states with a happy casual easy breezy smile - " Khushi...this is a freak of a crazy concidence indeed...but I can't help but admit that I love it..I mean...you'v got the gamer in me..all excited like a fanboy...I mean... .you'v heard me say this before right???but now...I just need to say this to you again....like...do you even know how big a fan I have been of your Abbu's game???? like one of the biggest ever....like you are Rehaan Khan's daughter?????????? One of the very few first premier all-rounders of our game in the Asian subcontinent from back in the day - I mean - it's crazy that I asked Raahil to get me his autograph back then - if only I had known then that I'd be falling deeply for his precious daughter..after...I mean..maybe...I should ask you to...get me his autograph then..."

Khushi gapes at him shocked and perplexed, dazed and stumped as she steps forward into him without taking a sip of the water from the glass he had handed to her - placing it over the kitchen shelf instantly as she asks her eyes widened in puzzlement - " wait...what??? Arnav...are you crazy?? Are you smiling in a freaking fan boy moment right now...hoping that I could get you Abbu's autograph?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Arnav nods biting back his grin and then breaks into it eventually - " yeah....ofcourse...I am...actually to be fair...I think I am grinning in a fanboy moment indeed...not smiling....."

Khushi clutches his collar perplexed fisting it in her hands as she asks what was on her mind all - rushed - " are you crazyyyy?????????? is that the only bit that comes to your mind...when I tell you who my Abbu is?? Are you not for once bothered...about.....the sensitivities....off the situation at all at your end...given that you are an Indian cricketer....."

That's It.

Arnav felt like That was It.

He couldn't hold onto the strands of his patience anymore.

And so he fists his hands into her hair now pulling her closer to him and with his left hand fisted in her hair - he cups her face with his right hand too and says out loud in a rushed assertive tone instantly next- " yeahh...dammit...that's all I freaking am thinking about...right now...because.......I don't freaking for a moment care..about anything else other than the bit that yes..I am crazy...and I am crazy about you...about...what I feel for you dammit...about...why I can never give up on you...no matter what...you stopped me prior....and I am kind off glad now that you did...because now...that I am going to say this out loud to you...you better freaking drill this in your head and your heart once and for all...Khushi....you are my Khushi to me..dammit...Jones/Khan? A mix of both or whatever...the elements of your last name..do not freaking matter to me...all that matters is what I feel for you...and what you make me feel when I am with you...in my heart..in my emotions.... You are my human - the one...I thank god everyday for existing ...my human...my woman..that my freaking heart beats for dammit...you are the only one..I wana be with all my life...you are the only one..I wana touch all my life...you are the only one I will not Give Up on Dammit..you are the only one...i'd have as my partner by my side now...or ever...you are the only one....I will ever have by my side...why??? Because all that matters to me is the bit - that I am in love with you dammit......Khushi...I love you...I love you so so so much...so godaamit...much.... freaking insane and deep with all my heart, body and soul....you are the only one...I'd ever need...you are the only one...I'd ever want...because you are the only one I have loved and you are the only one I will love...in all of my life...for as long as I freaking....live........"

And Just as those words - leave his Mouth - he sees Khushi freeze in his arms in sheer shock with fountains off tears beginning to ooze outta her eyes suddenly as she kept her uber emotional gaze locked with his - all frozen and statued within the circle of his arms.

She couldn't believe it.

Khushi couldn't believe the potent, intense, emotional words she had just heard - leave Arnav's mouth. For never she could have imagined to be hearing his confession of Love to her in the moment she had always feared to be the follow up to the moment he'd walk away.Which was why - now - she had frozen in shock into a statue carved out off Immense - Euphoria & Eternal Joy and Happiness. Because this was beginning to feel like that exact experience of living a Miracle - God's had just blessed her with. When did she ever imagine that she would be blessed with a moment as potent as this in her life to experience??? To have the one she deeply loved herself - say those very words to her - in the very moment her mind and heart had been subconsciously fearing all along.

And nonetheless now that this potent Moment was here - and she was in the middle off it all - she could only be Frozen in Happiness this way. Too afraid to move or blink even - just incase it would all end up being a Dream. But she was Not frozen completely though. Her eyes were talking continuously - as they were pouring out in front off Arnav emotionally right now as she kept them locked with his widened ones in immense emotion too. She could also spot his eyes welling up a little as he stared back into her gaze with an emotional intensity so potent - that it was nailing and hammering its way into her being - over and over.

She wanted to tell him that she loved him too.She wanted to confess to him too. But she couldn't get a word out off her mouth right now. Because - Everything within her heart was bursting miraculously as if she was a newborn taking in that first breath off fresh air coming out into the world. As if her heart had just come to Life all over again - and she couldn't have her insides wade out from basking in that emotion - yet.She didn't want to freeze out of this moment for a bit - given the way she was feeling everything within her emotional psyche go into a crazy overdrive.

Moments.

Like they always Say - have that immense potent power. Some - make you fall and bask in Love and Passion.Some -have the potential to chain you into shackles off pain and hurt. Some -set you free.Some- make you laugh. Some- make you cry.Some- make you feel things - bittersweet.

And Some - have that rare potent power to hammer open those very chains off inner angst and vulnerable pain in such a potent way that it almost supersedes and transcends in its crazy intensity off monumental impact from the conscious to the subconscious lanes on one's mind.

And Was This that very moment for Khushi?? Was this last bit - of the potent moment that - Khushi was in the middle of experiencing and living??

Oh Yes - She Was!!

For Just like that - in this vulnerable moment of time - as Arnav had confessed his love to her - Khushi was only Frozen to her spot in the circle of his arms completely engulfed in basking in the intensity of it all - as his confession was reeling and hammering its way all the way through to her subconscious mind and the molecular fabrics of her- very existence.

Which was Good. Very Good.Why? Because that was the exact impact - Arnav had been hoping to nail and hit the Bulls Eye within Khushi's - Mind, Heart, Being and Soul- Indeed.

...............................................

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TADAAAAAA!!

How was That Guysssssssss???

Now you all know why I paused where I did right??;) Given that I wanted Arnav's confession and its impact on Khushi to be that lasting point off cohesiveness in impact(for a bit) - once I finished penning down this scene. I mean this much only came to 13.3 K words na - and the next bit coming up totally needs to stand out on its own too..;)

Next Update: Monday Night.

 Please take care and Stay Indoors and Safe guys!!!! 🙏🙏🙏🙏

Thanks, Guys, for all the Support and your Precious Time to my Work!

Much Love

Always

❤

Prachi

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