CHAPTER 18 – JUST NOT A FOUR LETTER WORD....ANYMORE?

4 years ago

mysticaltales11111

@mysticltales111

Hellooo everyoneeeeeee...

SURPRISEEE!! SURPRISEEE!!

So here I am with the Next Update...it's a short 4K plus Words update guys... Actually the plan was to Give a Full Fledged Update tomorrow...but then somehow as I finished writing this Bit..i wanted to Post this bit as a – Stand Alone Update.

You will know why – as you read the Update.

Will be Eager to know what you all think.

Thank you so much for your amazing feedback uptil now Guys.

And yes this is the First Draft. Please definitely ignore editing/common repition of words errors etc – since I have not proofread.

And I shall now let you all dive in without – further Delay.

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CHAPTER 18 – JUST NOT A FOUR LETTER WORD....ANYMORE?

24th April, 2019

Two Hours Later – 3:30 PM

ITC, Rajputana

Arnav's POV

Three Hours.

= 180 Minutes.

= 10,800 Seconds.

Yup.

That's precisely exactly how much time has passed, since I have been consumed with immense worry. An intense worry – that is chewing up on my insides. A worry mode, which I haven't been able to get in Control, even though I have tried. Which means, that I have not been able to Smile at all from the heart at all. The thin, polite smiles that marks my Lips right now, as I am finishing a late lunch with the rest of my Bangalore team-mates, happens to be the Pretended One – which I am putting on as a Mask, so that no one else can catch on to the Turmoil, consuming me, from the insides. And to be honest – its like my appetite is kind of Half – Dead anyway. Remember how I mentioned once that Tricky thing about Worry?. How it has the power to snatch away the peace and serenity of the Present? Yup. Once again, from my experience within these Crazy Worrisome Moments – I can confidently confirm that the Premise I had once made about, Worry – stands totally true.

Well to be honest – it isn't that there isn't anyone around me who isn't aware about the State of my Insides. Two of my closest friends, Rohan and Ravi, had caught onto it immediately the minute it had set in around three hours ago – when I had started to type into my phone and have my eye on it, very worriedly. (Ever since Ravi showed me all the crazy activity stirring up online – linking me up with Ayana Mehra). They had been by my side in the moment – so it was obvious of them to catch onto it easily. They have both been really supportive in the situation, asking me to not give too much heed to it all, and even assured me – that things would be ok, once I had the talk with my secretive someone. Infact, even Akash, Anjali, Mom had called me around 1pm when the activity online had caught there eyes – to check with me if I was Ok?. Because they obviously are aware, how I am not a big fan of all the limelight with regards to anything, apart from my game. I had obviously assured them, that there was no truth in at all and it was all just a rumour and gossip – stirring up online, for no reason.

And there's also someone else, someone very important who is also aware of the Worrisome state I am in – i.e – My Secretive Someone. My Sparkle - Khushi. Just like I am aware that she is probably in a super nervous, state right now herself. All this unexpected nonsensical Noise online – has surely thrown her off Guard, as she's probably trying to wrap her head around it and process it through.

Guys.

I would do just about anything just now – to get a peek into Her head. To just talk to her.And I hate the fact that I haven't been able to yet, properly. After that little chat I had with her when she was in the Dressing Room, after the game – I had been hoping to get on a call with her, the minute she was back in the Hostel, but could not get on the call but she did text me around 2:10 PM and we did get onto a little chat.

Let me give you all Glimpse into my Chatbox with Khushi, since as I am sipping on my water – I have picked up my phone, to just check if she has messaged me with a text saying that – we are good to connect on a call.

Nope.

There isn't a new text from her yet.

I scroll up to read through the Little Chat we had as she had texted me when she had reached the Hostel.

Khushi and My – Chat from 2:10 PM

Her : Skipper Blue..we are just reaching the Hostel in like 5 mins. I know I told you that I will call you from the room, however everyone's first getting together to eat Lunch, so maybe after...also...before I get down the bus, and get surrounded by everyone..I just wanted to know, if you are ok?? as in – I do know you are not a big fan off being in the limelight because of anything else apart from your Game..soo...yeah...you ok?

** please note – at this point, I had felt a lot of emotions gush through my Heart, because I was way beyond touched as I had read,that from her. She was concerned if I was ok? even though she was probably feeling all Nervous, herself. I had obviously written her a reply – at the Speed of Light**

Me : and I need to know, if you are ok?? That's all care about.You.You know that don't you?.I am anyway accustomed to dealing with all this Online Noise.But I am so freaking nervous and worried the hell right now, because you'v gone all silent on me about how you are feeling about the same...and Its killing me. Please, don't call me Skipper Blue -in the next text. Call me Arnav.Just once.Please.and talk to me...

Her : Arnav..

** please note – at this Point, when she finally called me by my name, I felt like I could finally take a relaxed breath.**

Me : Sparkle, I am sorry.So dammit Sorry, that you found out about this Nonsense, before I could tell you about it...freaking hate the fact that things just spurred out of control..

Her : Arnav...I do not want to lie to you ever...it's like I just can't...I also don't want to hide anything from you..ever...

Me : yes..please...talk to me...what's on your mind?

Her : to be very honest...the real reason why I am not able to tell you, how I am feeling about all of this – is because, I just don't know. I really don't know...

Me : I can sense that you really mean what you just wrote, Sparkle..

Her : yes Arnav..I mean it. I am sorry, but literally right now – I have zero reaction spurring up in my head about this, it's like there's something that's gone all Blank, because this was so unexpected and sudden. You know like some sort of a Black Out button has been pressed on that remote control. Maybe, because I am just trying to process and absorb this all through..i am trying to figure things out..for real...please give me some time...would that be ok? I am thinking, I will catch up on a nap after a quick lunch. I am feeling a little exhausted from the physically draining innings as well...I think I will be in a better state to talk about this, once I sleep it out for a bit...

** please Note – at this Point, all I obviously cared about was her Comfort**

Me : yes ofcourse Sparkle, I understand.The match was gruelling as well.This was too sudden and unexpected, I agree. Ok have your lunch, and rest and sleep it out and message me when you are up, we will get on a call then..

Her : yes, we surely will get on a call then Arnav..ok..reaching the hostel now...lets connect later...bbye for now..(won't reply now)

Me : bbye for now Khushi...speak soon

But as Khushi had mentioned, she had not replied to that text.And yes, I haven't yet received a text from her yet. I look at the time on my phone.

Its 3:45 PM. She's probably still in the middle of the Nap, which I am hopinghelps her feel better about the situation.Well, the only saving grace for my worry was that atleast, Khushi had talked to me about what she was feeling.( I do hate the fact that she is feeling all Blank because of me. I would never want her to feel that way, because of me ever.All I want to do, is to make her happy. I want to treasure her, cherish her – make her feel like the most special one on the planet)

I keep my phone back aside, and try to mask my worried sigh by sipping on some water again calmly, as I see the rest of my team finishing up on their meals as well – continuing to chat on happily.( Everyone's also still talking about how amazing the Photoshoot went)

I spot Ravi looking at me from across. He has been shooting me worried silent glances from across the table, asking me to not worry much, and that everything will be ok, everytime he has spotted me eye my phone worriedly, throughout lunch. He now silently gestures towards my phone kept on the side next to my plate to ask me If I have a fresh update from my secretive someone yet?

I shake my head in a slight No.

Right then, we are all distracted, as the Mumbai team players step into the restaurant to meet and greet with us all for a couple of minutes since they are scheduled to leave in 30 minutes from now.

I get up from my seat as well and start to mix up with everyone. I needed the Distraction.

Minutes later, Rohan does gesture me to come to the side and I nod at him and Ravi joins us as well and Rohan asks , concerned – " everything ok?? you heard from her yet??"

I admit honestly – " not really...I mean we did get on a little chat, but haven't been able to talk, she's had a hectic day as well...she's catching up on nap right now...hopefully should be able to talk to her in a bit..."

Rohan pats my arm – " don't worry Arnav..i am sure she will understand that its all just nonsensical gossip..."

I nod as I admit, emotions gushing through me, and a little smile does curve up my lips as I say – " well she did text me to check on me if I was ok as well, as in she does understand that I am not a big fan of this limelight on anything apart from the games..."

Rohan asks surprised – " did she now?? Even though she's probably a little shaken herself...you gotta hold on to her, then? Seems like the bond you both have nurtured is special, indeed..."

I smile a little on reflex as I admit – " oh yes...it surely is special...super special..."and worry returns as I admit to my friends – "I am just so worried that all this crazy online noise may just scare her away, before I could even kickstart things for us officialy, what if all this just ends up overwhelming her on another tangent..."

Rohan sighs as he says – " well your worry is obvious, since the stuff has gone even more beserk online...infact Samaira and me were just discussing the same...it's like the gossip of the day the online media has clawed its nails into...and you spoke to her for what like four minutes just perhaps? That too in the presence of us all, in a causal normal introduction..."

I nod as I say – " I think it was just about a little three minutes over..."

Rohan says, puzzled himself – " I swear, I think I wont be able to understand the workings of this online stuff, in this life.."

I nod – " me too buddy...me too..."

Ravi sighs, looking into his phone – " yup me too...it's only getting worse...god...look at all these articles brewing up...trying to put out every theory online....and ofcourse Ayana's insta feed is flooded with questions about you as well...if the two of you hit it off at the first meet for real...etc etc...but I am glad she isn't replying to any...but now the online media is just assuming her silence to be like a way of being all Coy about it all...perhaps...."

I sigh as I say – " and of course the media doesn't care...how much damage could their speculations, be actually doing to our respective personal lives in retrospect in the background...freaking sucks..."

Rohan and Ravi both nod at me as they say – " don't worry...it will be ok...lets just hope that you are able to speak to her soon..."

Right then a couple of our team mates and our assistant coach for the Bangalore team also walks up to us all and he says – " ASR, after the Mumbai boys, leave...coach's asking if its ok to prepone our strategy meeting? We had scheduled for around 5ish...but is it ok if we do it in between of 4- to 5 pm instead?? Coach suggests that everyone just chill and relax after 5..since we will leave for the stadium at around 630 anyway..."

Great. Distraction myself and pouring/diverting my Attention to Cricket was the only thing that could make me feel a lot better – perhaps?

I nod at him as I say – " yes, that would be great...please tell Coach, that we will all just see of the Mumbai team, and get together for the meeting immediately...ill just talk to the boys..."

..............................

5 : 00 PM – ITC, RAJPUTANA

Arnav's POV Continues

I walk into my room and close the Door shut. The strategy meeting went out great , and it served us at exact distraction I had needed. But now, that I am back to my room and all by myself since everyone's just retired to their rooms to just relax and freshen up and get ready as we all have planned to meet in the Hotel's lobby by around 615PM, so that we can leave for the stadium at around 630PM.. I find myself being consumed with a Intense Worry again.

Why?

Because Khushi hasn't texted me at all – still.

I literally walk ahead, and hold up my phone around in the air, you know just incase my Signal was faltering, and that could be the reason – why hadn't I received her text, perhaps?

Nope.

Signal's full.

For my Whtsapp just tings with Anjali and Akash's message on our siblings group – and they are both sharing their disappointment over how the Online Media has just gone – Insane today, as they check up on me again, asking me not to read on the latest string of theories, that Ayana's fans were conjuring up on her Insta – Online, which was the base of the fresh articles being conjured up even more now.

I quickly text them back and assure them that I was Ok,and that I was obviously not paying any heed to it all, and was concentrating on the game ahead.Surely going to Channelise all My energies into it.

Akash texts that they were all a little delayed due to traffic, and that Payal, him and Noor – would come to stadium direct.

I continue to chat with them for a couple of minutes, and then I walk up to my washroom to freshen Up.A couple of minutes later, as I stand in front of the Mirror and wash my face a couple of times, I find some questions lingering on my Mind – as I am surprised to see the level of anguish, the worry, the pain( of not being able to connect with Khushi after 2pm), on my face and in my very own eyes.

Why am I feeling this Disturbed??

Even though, I know – that she isn't like mad at me or something, and probably just still hasn't woken up from her Nap.

Why do I see so much Anguish in my eyes?

Why is there this level of Pain, surrounding the Worry that's consumed my Heart?

I have never freaking felt like this – ever before. Like I surely, did not even feel even five percent of hurt/worry when I had found out that Pia had cheated on me.

As in, everyone – what I mean to say is, that never have I ever felt so disturbed at not being able to connect to anyone.(in a span of Three hours).Never have I ever felt myself aching this way to just do about anything, to just hear someone's voice.

I haven't spoken to her after 210 Pm, and given the current situation, it feels like - I can't take it.

I just can't freaking Take It.

I mean I am into her, Insane – I know that. I have fallen for her in the ways, I have never fallen for anybody – yes Indeed. But now that I am looking at myself in the mirror and looking at all this anguish and pain on my face and just looking back in retrospect at everything I have been feeling since Noon today as this weird fear, and worry of losing Khushi and our special connection, continues to eat me up – I realise instantly, that I haven't just Fallen for all deep and Crazy.

I have been feeling this way, as if the worry of loosing her, is going to squeeze my lungs of all air – probably because – for the first time in my life – I have fallen in Love.

I LOVE HER.

GUYS.

Just as the very thought crosses through my Heart, I feel a burst of emotion so deep – that I have never felt before truly.

And even though there is a lot of worry that I still see in my eyes, in the reflection in the mirror, a Smile curves up my lips on its own accord.

Why?

Because, nonetheless the situation - I have just realised for the first time in my Life – that the it's the emotion of Love, that's Gripped my Heart, Insane.

I FREAKING LOVE HER.

Guys.

I AM IN LOVE WITH KHUSHI.

MY KHUSHI.

MY PRECIOUS – SPARKLE.

I feel my Smile widen a little on its own Accord.

I take deep breathes.

Ok Raizada.

Rake Your Brains.

You most definitely have to figure out a way, of making Khushi feel all secured and comfortable about your connection, first – amidst all this Online Noise. That was priority. Second – you have to figure out a way to meet her, so that you can confess out a little bit of your emotions to her, and kickstart things for you both officially. Third - you have to read the situation of her expressive eyes when they talk to you whether you can actually confess your love to her straight away or not, or take it step by step, first – since all of this is so very new to her as well. It's important that you do not scare her and overwhelm her with all your heavy duty emotions.

The immediate task at hand is to – first tackle this Online Drama situation.

You cannot afford to Lose the One Precious girl, your Hearts found its Home in, and fallen in Love with..

Yup.

Guys.

I can't Let go of Khushi.

I am not going to.

How can I let go of the one, I love?

I am right on that thought when my Phone beeps.

I pick it up instantly.

Thank You – God.

Its Khushi.

My World's Just Lit Back Up – as if its Freaking Xmas!

Her : Holyyy Crapp...Arnav...I literally just woke up...messaged you first thing...this Jess also didn't wake me up...like shit shit...shit...like I overslept ya...gosh..i am so sorry....are you getting all ready to leave for the Stadium already? Am I late in messaging you? god, please say that you have some time, I do want to talk to you and wish you all the best for the game ,properly. As in, I do want to talk to you, before you leave for the game..

I smile as I reply.

Ok.

Correction.

I grin as I reply.

Me : hey you Sparkle...I am so glad you messaged. How was the Nap? I hope you feel all fresh? And yes, I still have time, as in, only got to be down in the lobby with everyone by around 615.All strategy meetings over in between 4-5pm.Thank god. To be honest, it was what kept me distracted. Or else time had gone still on me. You know since I wasn't able to connect to you in the given situation. I hated the feeling of being cut away from you in this situation, even though I knew you were just Sleeping...

Her : Arnav...gosh...to be honest, the sleep did me good. I have processed it all through...as in everything that happened....however...I..I...

Me : I..I...what??

Her : I don't why I feel so freaking blank still. I want to talk to you...

Guys – list me as the Highest Ranked – Goner.

Goner in Love.

I grin as I reply : if I say, I want to talk to you...that would be an Understatement Sparkle. Please note - I am dying to talk to you. You are my Sparkle.You texted, and the Light's Lit up all around Me...it was getting quite dark with worry otherwise...

Her : dark with worry??why Arnav??

Me : I have been so consumed with worry and have been feeling like, what if all this nonsensical drama around me makes you wana push me away...i have been so freaking afraid off losing You, Sparkle...dammit...just know...I can't let you go...you are way too special to me...I just can't let go of our connection off Channel 3/App2122...

Her : I am not going to push you away Arnav...I don't think I can...as in I don't want to push you away..I can't.....Channel 3/App 2122 is important and special to me as well...I probably just got to find out a way of figuring my head around all of this unexpected stuff, perhaps?

Me : lets figure it out together perhaps? I need to see you. Can I see you? like can we video call?

Her : yes...maybe we can Arnav...give me five minutes...as in Jess is just leaving to catch up with everyone in the Canteen for the tea and snacks time...ill just quickly freshen up at the speed of light and then text you.k? like just five minutes...give me five minutes...pakka se wala...only five minutes..

Me : really? Pakka se?? only five minutes..

Her : Arnav...stop....ya...there you go taking my case again..ok now let me get off on text if you want me to videocall you quickly...

Me : alrightttyy Sparkle...waiting for you...

Her : see you soon Arnav...(smiley)

I grin as I keep my phone aside and look up at my reflection in the Mirror.

Guys.

Trust me as I say this to you.

I can see my Reflection – grinning back at me like an Idiot.

Dude – now I know why they say, that Love has this Insane Affect over You.Now I know why they say, that Love can come across as just as a normal Four letter word to you, until you feel it consume your heart, in all its Glory. Until, someone comes around and gives that simple Four Letter word – a whole new Meaning and Insight all together.

Guys.

Love – was not Just a Four Letter Word for me Anymore. It had Immense Meaning and Value in my Heart which mainly = Khushi and everything about Her.

I love you – Sparkle.

And now that my Heart had finally found its Home in You and understood for good that You are that someone special, who had come around and given the normal four letter word of Love – a whole New Meaning altogether in my Life - I'd be freaking Dammed, if I didn't give You - My All.

I'd be freaking Dammed - if I let some freaking Virtual Nonsense, mess up the most Real Connection I have ever Had.

I wouldn't let it.

I just Was Not Going to Let it.

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TADAAAAA!!!!!

How was the Surprise Update??

I just wanted to make it a Stand Alone – because of the Moment's Emotional Significance to Skipper Blue...(wink wink)

Let me know what you guys think as always, you all know I love reading your feedback and comments.

Next Update : I shall try to give another Update by tomorrow Night or Saturday late evening. Also Sneak Peek. Next Chapter's Title – Some Tricky Speedbreakers 2.0 ( wink wink...wait for it, Guys)

Thanks, guys, for all the Love and Support.

Much Love Guys.

Always.

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