Wow sonu jaan this is awsome..π.. i loved the first chapter π³
altunia is developing the feeling of insecurity,.. he can't see razia giving his place to any other man. i loved mirza and yasir scene... they are always cute...π³
the moment was so dreamy when razia was coming towards altunia and he was lost and awestruck by her beauty...
over all an wonderful fresh start... and waiting for more...π
PS:only one complaint and i hope u don't mind for this... there was a dialogue of alitunia in this update the one where he was furious with yaqut's interruption btwn him and razia and he said, do minute ka sukoon bardasht nhi hta kya tumse miyan?..." ... i think u should use "Do pal' instead of "Do min" cause listening to a sudden english word from a hindi period drama character where the dialogues r written in hindi looks awkward,... again sorry if i offend u anyhow...π... aoart from this i truly loved the update..β€οΈ
Originally posted by: bhabhijaan
Sonu you write with such ease. You narrate the plot as superbly as you write the speech of the characters.πβοΈThe opening paragraphs set the scene so well in describing Mirza's new found realisation of his growing attraction to his childhood friend, and the frustrating insecurity that comes with it.ππΌ His possessiveness is clear from his conversation with Yasir. He doesn't like to be replaced.π₯ΊI really liked the prose where you speak of her being the center of his attention; the gravitational pull she has on him; feeling that she has his strings in her hands; and him filling her lungs with her scent. Altu has fallen in love hard.β€οΈ So dreamy! Amazing start! π Update soon. I want to read more on jealous Altu.π
Sonu,meri jaan,aapne dil phirse jeet liyaπ.You know what,this is what I always wanted to see and read.Mirza's jealousy of Yaqut.His possessiveness for his Sultan.No one likes to share the attention of someone whom they love and cherish.And for Altunia,it was always his Sultan who mattered the most.More than anything else.He was her childhood friend and her closest confidant so it is evident that he will be jealous of Yaqut.Yaqut is someone who can pose as a threat to him.For once in life,he is scared.He is scared of losing the one he loves.Well,I don't think that he has realized his feelings for her as of now.But when he does,he will be caught in an emotional upheaval.
I liked his convo with Yasir.This is the beginning of his insecurity and jealousy.Its natural.And that is what makes him more realistic.BTW,I hope that here we will get to see a grey shaded Malik Ikhtiaruddin Altunia along with our romantic Mirzaπ³And last but not the least,my usual,AFSAW,AFSAW,AFSAW till infinityπPS:I also want to see Yaqut ki pitaayiπ
Originally posted by: bhabhijaan
Doobara mera dil jeet liya Sonu.β€οΈ Mera mood bilkul acha hogaya yeh chapter padh ne ki baad.π Mirza ki badalti mijaaz aur Razo ki jalen bahut khoobi se likha hai.π ππMirza aapni Sultan ko chidate hai taake uska dayan aapne hero pe hi jaye.πAapko Mirza ki riyaaz dekhni ki shauq hai nah isliye iss story mein bhi yeh scene use kiya. Waise kisko nahi hoga. Mehel ki kaneez bhi uss nazare ka luft utha rahe the.πKaneezo ka guftgu ne mujhe haasa diya..."akhri khwahish me mirza ka deedar mang k mar bhi gai to gam na hoga mujhe"...yehi hum sab ka haal hai.βΊοΈπYaar kya dimag paiya hai aapne. My fav line - "dost se kuch ziada sultan se kuch kam, ye Razia hamare dil me kuch naya makam hasil kr rhi hen". Hayee, Mirza ka aashiqana andaaz se hum sab waqif hai par jab jab dikha ta hai to Razo kya hum bhi gayal ho jati hai.π³
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