Alzia SS 'The Malik Of Sultan's Heart' last part pg 32 - Page 2

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Posted: 9 years ago
#11
Part_1

Altunia was walking in the long corridors of the blue palace, he was confused, what was wrong with him, suddenly his feelings were different, hehad never felt this way before, the winds were different too, everything seemed to be surrounding her, she was the centre of his attention, it was like gravity didn't exist anymore, it was her who held him, every string was in her hand and she controlled it, it was disturbing cause he knew her from as long as she existed, she was his childhood friend, his student, but he never felt this way before, she was always there but he never had this feeling of attraction, untill her priorities shifted, or more specifically divided.
ALtunia had been the only male friend Sultan of Delhi ever had, the only person she completely trusted in her court, until he arrived and divided his share, and though he was a person who could never share, sharing Razia's confidence was more then just sharing his friend's confidence, ever since Yaqut had arrived and become friends with Sultan, Altunia had developed a sense of insecurity and jealousy, he just couldn't stand the sight of them talking to each other.

"Mirza" Prince Yasir arrived out of nowhere, but he didn't listen, he was lost in his thoughts, Yasir took his hand and shook it

Yasir; mirza..kahan kho gye mirza

Altunia got out of his wonderland and saw Yasir

Altunia; arre chotte miyan aap kab aye hamen pta hi nhi chala

Yasir; kya mirza aap har waqt khoye rehte hen aaj kal aapko hua kya hai?

Altunia; kuch nahi hua chote miyan, aap btaiye koi kaam tha aapko?

Yasir; nahi humne aapko aate dekha to aapke pas chale aaye

Altunia smiled.

Altunia; chote miyan aap bhi humari jagah kisi aur ko de denge kya?

Yasir; nahi hum kyun denge, aapki jagah koi kisi ko nahi de skta

Altunia hugged him and thought, "kaash aapki aapi k bhi ese naik khayalaat hote"

Just then he saw her coming, she was in her casual clothes, a long pink and cream color dress of silk with free sleeves, her curly hair loose running behind her back, she had little jewellery on and she looked like a fresh newly blossomed flower as she walked, the wind that touched her hit mirza's face and he sniffed deeply, filling his lungs with her fragrance. He stood up and stared at her with an open mouth and wide open eyes. She saw him and smiled, he was too absorbed in her beauty that he couldn't even smile back. She came close to him and waved.

Razia; kahan kho gye ho Mirza

Yasir; chodiye aapi, kuch dinon se najane mirza ko kya hogya hai

Razia; itni shikayten mil rhi hen aapki mirza hamen, wahan sb darbari aap se har waqt chide rehte hen aur yahan aapke khayalon me khoye rehne ki shikayat hua kya he aapko

The word "darbari" returned his senses back

Altunia; dekhiye Sultan aapke darbari humse jalte hen isiliye chidte hen, aur hum wo thode shayrana mijaaz hen to khayalon me kho k hi shayari hua krti he

Razia; aapke bahanon k aage to koi bhi apna sir jhuka le khair aaj deewan-e-khas me hum ja nhi rhe aur deewane- aam ka aaj din nhi to chaliye bhaag ki sair kren?

Altunia; aapko kabhi humne na kahi hai jo ab kahenge?

Razia; nahi..to chalen?

Altunia nodded, they just started walking when Yaqut came running.

Yaqut; Sultan, ruqiye ek bht ehem masle pe aap se maslat krni he

Altunia clenched his fist tight, just the mere sight of Razia with Yaqut made him cringe, he pulled Razia behind him and stood between them

Altunia; do pal ka sukoon bardasht nhi hta kya tumse miyan? jao yahan se abhi hum chehel qadmi k liye ja rhe hen

But Razia came infront

Razia; Mirza..koi ehem masla hua to? chehel qadmi baad me bhi ho skti he, chaliye Yaqut aap btaiye kya masla he

She walked away with Yaqut, Mirza made a face.

Altunia; is Yaqut ko to hum zinda gaad denge

Yasir; kuch kaha aapne mirza?

Altunia; nahi..nahi to..hamara mijaaz thoda bigad gya he shehzaade hum aapse baad me milte hen

Altunia walked away and turned once to see her go, she was still in sight, his anger increased to see her smile with Yaqut, so he tuned and left.
Edited by overactor - 9 years ago
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Posted: 9 years ago
#12
Wow sonu jaan this is awsome..πŸ‘.. i loved the first chapter 😳
altunia is developing the feeling of insecurity,.. he can't see razia giving his place to any other man. i loved mirza and yasir scene... they are always cute...😳
the moment was so dreamy when razia was coming towards altunia and he was lost and awestruck by her beauty...
over all an wonderful fresh start... and waiting for more...πŸ˜ƒ

PS:only one complaint and i hope u don't mind for this... there was a dialogue of alitunia in this update the one where he was furious with yaqut's interruption btwn him and razia and he said, do minute ka sukoon bardasht nhi hta kya tumse miyan?..." ... i think u should use "Do pal' instead of "Do min" cause listening to a sudden english word from a hindi period drama character where the dialogues r written in hindi looks awkward,... again sorry if i offend u anyhow...πŸ˜›... aoart from this i truly loved the update..❀️
Edited by ifians - 9 years ago
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Posted: 9 years ago
#13

Originally posted by: ifians

Wow sonu jaan this is awsome..πŸ‘.. i loved the first chapter 😳
altunia is developing the feeling of insecurity,.. he can't see razia giving his place to any other man. i loved mirza and yasir scene... they are always cute...😳
the moment was so dreamy when razia was coming towards altunia and he was lost and awestruck by her beauty...
over all an wonderful fresh start... and waiting for more...πŸ˜ƒ

PS:only one complaint and i hope u don't mind for this... there was a dialogue of alitunia in this update the one where he was furious with yaqut's interruption btwn him and razia and he said, do minute ka sukoon bardasht nhi hta kya tumse miyan?..." ... i think u should use "Do pal' instead of "Do min" cause listening to a sudden english word from a hindi period drama character where the dialogues r written in hindi looks awkward,... again sorry if i offend u anyhow...πŸ˜›... aoart from this i truly loved the update..❀️

Aww riu thanks for the correction yr dhyaan hi nahi gya k min is an English word lol love u ofcorx i dnt mind i will correct it
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Posted: 9 years ago
#14
Sonu you write with such ease. You narrate the plot as superbly as you write the speech of the characters.πŸ‘β­οΈ

The opening paragraphs set the scene so well in describing Mirza's new found realisation of his growing attraction to his childhood friend, and the frustrating insecurity that comes with it.πŸ‘πŸΌ His possessiveness is clear from his conversation with Yasir. He doesn't like to be replaced.πŸ₯Ί

I really liked the prose where you speak of her being the center of his attention; the gravitational pull she has on him; feeling that she has his strings in her hands; and him filling her lungs with her scent. Altu has fallen in love hard.❀️ So dreamy! Amazing start! πŸ‘ Update soon. I want to read more on jealous Altu.πŸ˜†
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Posted: 9 years ago
#15
Sonu,meri jaan,aapne dil phirse jeet liyaπŸ‘.You know what,this is what I always wanted to see and read.Mirza's jealousy of Yaqut.His possessiveness for his Sultan.No one likes to share the attention of someone whom they love and cherish.And for Altunia,it was always his Sultan who mattered the most.More than anything else.He was her childhood friend and her closest confidant so it is evident that he will be jealous of Yaqut.Yaqut is someone who can pose as a threat to him.For once in life,he is scared.He is scared of losing the one he loves.Well,I don't think that he has realized his feelings for her as of now.But when he does,he will be caught in an emotional upheaval.
I liked his convo with Yasir.This is the beginning of his insecurity and jealousy.Its natural.And that is what makes him more realistic.BTW,I hope that here we will get to see a grey shaded Malik Ikhtiaruddin Altunia along with our romantic Mirza😳


And last but not the least,my usual,AFSAW,AFSAW,AFSAW till infinityπŸ‘

PS:I also want to see Yaqut ki pitaayi😈
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Posted: 9 years ago
#16

Originally posted by: bhabhijaan

Sonu you write with such ease. You narrate the plot as superbly as you write the speech of the characters.πŸ‘β­οΈ

The opening paragraphs set the scene so well in describing Mirza's new found realisation of his growing attraction to his childhood friend, and the frustrating insecurity that comes with it.πŸ‘πŸΌ His possessiveness is clear from his conversation with Yasir. He doesn't like to be replaced.πŸ₯Ί

I really liked the prose where you speak of her being the center of his attention; the gravitational pull she has on him; feeling that she has his strings in her hands; and him filling her lungs with her scent. Altu has fallen in love hard.❀️ So dreamy! Amazing start! πŸ‘ Update soon. I want to read more on jealous Altu.πŸ˜†

thanks BJ πŸ€— no1 can replace Malik Altunia 😈
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Posted: 9 years ago
#17

Originally posted by: Astoria

Sonu,meri jaan,aapne dil phirse jeet liyaπŸ‘.You know what,this is what I always wanted to see and read.Mirza's jealousy of Yaqut.His possessiveness for his Sultan.No one likes to share the attention of someone whom they love and cherish.And for Altunia,it was always his Sultan who mattered the most.More than anything else.He was her childhood friend and her closest confidant so it is evident that he will be jealous of Yaqut.Yaqut is someone who can pose as a threat to him.For once in life,he is scared.He is scared of losing the one he loves.Well,I don't think that he has realized his feelings for her as of now.But when he does,he will be caught in an emotional upheaval.

I liked his convo with Yasir.This is the beginning of his insecurity and jealousy.Its natural.And that is what makes him more realistic.BTW,I hope that here we will get to see a grey shaded Malik Ikhtiaruddin Altunia along with our romantic Mirza😳


And last but not the least,my usual,AFSAW,AFSAW,AFSAW till infinityπŸ‘

PS:I also want to see Yaqut ki pitaayi😈


ash πŸ€— yes he would fall damn hard when he would realize his feelings, and dnt worry yaqut ki pitai to ho k rahegi😈
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Posted: 9 years ago
#18
Part_2

Razia was going to the deewan-e-khas when in the way she heard some maids giggling.

Razia; ye subah subah bandhiyan kya dekh k khee khee kr rhi hen, dekhna padega

Razia walked towards them and looked in their direction of gaze, she was stunned and her jaw dropped and her eyes widened, Altunia was practicing sword skills without his shirt on, and the girls of the palace were going gaga over him, the way his muscles twitched with his moves, the way his hair moved along, even his sweat was glistening like diamonds in the bright sunlight and his body shined like gold. Razia kept staring at him until she heard the voice of a plate dropping and a maid shouting.

Maid; ya Allah mirza ka riyaaz shuru hogya?

Razia fumed, the girls were staring at mirza and she didn't like it, she went away

Maid; ye sultan ko kya hogya?

Maid2; huh! kuch nahi koi siyasati masla yaad agaya hoga, wese bhi kehna to nhi chahiye par, bandarkya jaane adrak ka swad

Maid3; tum aqal kro, sultan ne sun liya to tauheen k liye sir qalm krwa dengi

Maid; to krwa den, akhri khwahish me mirza ka deedar mang k mar bhi gai to gam na hoga mujhe

Maid2; sahi kehti ho, pta nahi sultan kesi aurat hen, mirza k aise nazare ko chod k chali gaeen

Razia returned with a long shawl and went straight to Mirza, she wrapped it aroun him from behind and he stopped, he turned to face her and was shocked

Mirza; kya hua sultan?

Razia; (irritated) kuch nahi, aap..aap thode..mera matlab kuch pehen k riyaz kiya kijiye wo kyahe na itni garmi he aur aapka jism kala na pad jaye kahin..aur phir paseena bhi jasb hojayega

Altunia looked around and smiled, the maids were all around the place.

Altunia; wo kya hai na, hamen bachpan se aise riyaz krne k aadat hai Sultan

Razia; ye hamara hukum he (she said in anger getting close to him)

Altunia; agar hum hukum na maane to? (he got closer)

they stared at each other

Maid; chalo agai ye, hum chalte hen, aisi sultan hamare hi qismat me thi

the maids left. Razia pushed him

Razia; aap jante hen hum aapko kuch nahi kahenge isiliye aap

Altunia; hum apni SUltan ki har baat maante hen, pr hamare saamne sultan ka hukum nhi ek jal kukdi khadi he to hum kyun kr uski sunen

Razia; jalkukdi? humse in bandhiyon se jalenge? aapka dimag to khrab nhi hogya, esa kya milgya he inhe jo Delhi ki Sultan k paas nhi he

Altunia; hamara deedar, hamare husn ko niharne ka mauka

Razia; husn? konsa husn? esa bhi kya khas he aapke paas?

Altunia; nahi hai? acha theek he to phir aapne humen dhakne ki itni jaldi kyun dikhai

Razia; wo to hum ..aap ek darbari hen isiliye aapki sehat ka dhyan tha aur kuch nahi

Altunia; dunya ko ghumrah krskti hen aap pr humse jhoot na hi bola kijiye, hum aapki rag rag se waqif hen

Razia; hum ja rhe hen, darbaar me hazir hojaiye ga sahi waqt pe wrna anjaam acha nhi hoga

Altunia; jo hukum Sultan

she left in anger.

Razia; pta nhi kya smjhte hen khud ko, sirf apni chalate hen mano hum nahi wo SUltan hen

Yasir; to sach hi to hai na aapi

Razia; aap kahan se agaye?

Yasir; hum to yahin the aapi pr aapne hamen ghusse me dekha hi nahi

Razia; kya keh rhe the aap?

Yasir; yehi k aap bht achi Sultan hen

Razia; wo to hum hen hi, pr hamen dikh rha he is mehel me humse ziada mirza k wafadaar hen

Altunia; to kya hua hum aur aap alag thodi hen

he said in her ear slowly, arriving all of a sudden from behind.

Razia; aap hamen darbaar me miliyega

she went away.

Yasir; aap aapi ko itna chidate kyun hen?

Altunia; wo kya hai na shehzaade, aapki aapi hum pe ghussa krte huye bht khoobsurat lagti hen...unke gaal jab ghusse se laal hojae hen na bilkul tamatar ki trh, ankhen chamakne lagti hen aur ek ajabsa noor ajata hai unke chehre pe

Yasir; to aapko chidane ki kya zarurat hai mirza, wo darbaar me har waqt ghussa krti hen pr wahan to aapko jana hi pasand nahi

Altunia; arre aap samjhe nahi, wo khoobsurat tab lagti hen jab hum pe ghussa kren, aur kisi pe krti hen to wo sultan lagti hen aur hamen bilkul pasand nhi ata

Yasir; aap ajeeb ho mirza hum ja rhe hen

Altunia; ajeeb nahi hen bas aaj kal mijaz badal rahe hen, hawaon ka rukh bhi badal raha he, aur aapki aapi ko dekhne ka hamara andaz bhi badal gaya hai, dost se kuch ziada sultan se kuch kam, ye Razia hamare dil me kuch naya makam hasil kr rhi hen
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Posted: 9 years ago
#19
Doobara mera dil jeet liya Sonu.❀️ Mera mood bilkul acha hogaya yeh chapter padh ne ki baad.πŸ˜ƒ Mirza ki badalti mijaaz aur Razo ki jalen bahut khoobi se likha hai.πŸ‘ πŸ‘πŸ‘
Mirza aapni Sultan ko chidate hai taake uska dayan aapne hero pe hi jaye.πŸ˜‰

Aapko Mirza ki riyaaz dekhni ki shauq hai nah isliye iss story mein bhi yeh scene use kiya. Waise kisko nahi hoga. Mehel ki kaneez bhi uss nazare ka luft utha rahe the.πŸ˜†

Kaneezo ka guftgu ne mujhe haasa diya..."akhri khwahish me mirza ka deedar mang k mar bhi gai to gam na hoga mujhe"...yehi hum sab ka haal hai.β˜ΊοΈπŸ˜†

Yaar kya dimag paiya hai aapne. My fav line - "dost se kuch ziada sultan se kuch kam, ye Razia hamare dil me kuch naya makam hasil kr rhi hen". Hayee, Mirza ka aashiqana andaaz se hum sab waqif hai par jab jab dikha ta hai to Razo kya hum bhi gayal ho jati hai.😳
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Posted: 9 years ago
#20

Originally posted by: bhabhijaan

Doobara mera dil jeet liya Sonu.❀️ Mera mood bilkul acha hogaya yeh chapter padh ne ki baad.πŸ˜ƒ Mirza ki badalti mijaaz aur Razo ki jalen bahut khoobi se likha hai.πŸ‘ πŸ‘πŸ‘
Mirza aapni Sultan ko chidate hai taake uska dayan aapne hero pe hi jaye.πŸ˜‰

Aapko Mirza ki riyaaz dekhni ki shauq hai nah isliye iss story mein bhi yeh scene use kiya. Waise kisko nahi hoga. Mehel ki kaneez bhi uss nazare ka luft utha rahe the.πŸ˜†

Kaneezo ka guftgu ne mujhe haasa diya..."akhri khwahish me mirza ka deedar mang k mar bhi gai to gam na hoga mujhe"...yehi hum sab ka haal hai.β˜ΊοΈπŸ˜†

Yaar kya dimag paiya hai aapne. My fav line - "dost se kuch ziada sultan se kuch kam, ye Razia hamare dil me kuch naya makam hasil kr rhi hen". Hayee, Mirza ka aashiqana andaaz se hum sab waqif hai par jab jab dikha ta hai to Razo kya hum bhi gayal ho jati hai.😳

its my dream to see him practicing mujhe shirtless boys ka shauq nhi i prefer shirt on lol but rohit's body is an exception, he is too fit and awesome MASHALLAH k dil badtameez hojata heπŸ˜›
thnx BJ πŸ€—
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