UPDATE 4
NEVER LIE TO A SMART WOMAN..
Man : "Honey I've been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get d promotion. So could you please pack enough clothes for a week, set out my rod & fishing box. We're leaving from office & I'll swing by the house to pick my things. Oh, Please pack my new blue silk pajamas!"
The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being a good wife she did exactly as her husband said.
The following Weekend he came home a little tired but looking good..
The wife welcomed him & asked if he caught many fish?
He said, "Yes, Lots of Salmon, Blue gill & a few Swordfish. But why didn't u pack my blue silk pajamas?"
You'll love the answer..!!
"I did.. They're in your fishing box!!😛😆
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Best Advice for all Awes0me l0verss???
-If y0u LOVE s0mebdy truely..
let them go...:-)
But If they don't come back to y0u...,:-(
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Hunt tHem down and KILL them:-P:-D-----------------------------
Two Women were chatting in
office..
Woman 1:"I had a fine evening,
how was yours.. ??
Woman 2:"It was a disaster.. My
husband came home, ate his
dinner in 3 minutes and fell a
sleep.. How was yours.. ??
Woman 1:"Oh it was amazing! My
husband came home and took me
out for a romantic dinner.. After
dinner we walked for an hour..
When we came home he lit the
candles around the house..It was
like a fairy tale!
At the same time, their husbands
are talking at work..
Husband 1:"How was your
evening.. ??
Husband 2:"Great.. I came home,
dinner was on the table, I ate
and fell asleep.
What about you ??
Husband 1:"It was horrible. I
came home, there's no dinner,
they cut the electricity because
I forgot to pay the bill; so I took
her out for dinner which was so
expensive that i didn't had
money left for a cab. We walked
home which took an hour and
when we got home i remembered
there was no electricity so I had
to light candles all over the
house!!
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Interviewer:"If the Earth
rotates 30 times faster,
what will happen?"
Candidate:"We will get our salary
everyday" 😃
Think Greedily
Act Confidently😛
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Husband came home late at night
from a party.
His wife shouted: How would u
feel if u dont see me for 2
days?
He couldnt believe his luck.
He replied at once.''That would
be great..!''
Monday passed & he didn't see
her. Tuesday & wednesday
passed too.
On Thursday the swelling was
better & he could see her from
the corner of his left eye..!! o_O
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
A Day Without Sun Is Like
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A Night :P
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Teacher:" Explain about
TERRORIST.. ??
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Santa:" Terrorist is a Tourist who
comes from other country to
Celebrate Diwali or holi in Our
Country..😆😛
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Girl : Xcuse me bro thats my seat !
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Boy: OK, but i m not ur brother, My dad
never touched ur mom.. . .
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Girl: True, but my dad did. 😆😛
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Moral:the girl was a real bitch😉😛
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A guy asked a girl in a library; "Do you mind if I sit beside you"?
The girl answered with a loud voice; "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOUUU!!!".
All the students in the library started staring at the guy and he was embarrassed.
After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and she told him "I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking, I guess you felt embarrassed right?"
The guy responded with a loud voice:"$200 JUST FOR ONE NIGHT!!!? THAT'S TOO MUCH!!!" ...
and all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and the guy whispered in her ears; "I study Law and I know how
to make someone feel guilty"😛
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Before You Judge a Person..
Walk a Mile in his Shoes..
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After That..
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Who cares?
He's a Mile Away
&
The Shoes are yours!!
Take Them & Run.. :P :D
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100s of years have passed,
millions of tomorrows have come,
but still hope is alive in all
students
"Tomorrow i will definitely start
studying"
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a guy was giving his medical
entrance exam.
He gave definitions as follows:
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Antibody:
Against everybody
Artery:
Study of fine art paintings
Cardiology:
Advanced study of playing cards
CT scan:
Scanning 4 lost whistle..
Coma:
Punctuation mark
Bacteria:
Back door to a cafeteria…
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Reason why never visit a 5* Hotel
Question : "What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"
Answer: "tea please"
Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"
Answer : "Ceylon tea "
Question : "How would you like it ? black or white ?"
Answer: "white"
Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ?"
Answer: "With milk "
Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"
Answer: "With cow milk please.
Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer: " Um, I'll take it black. "
Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"
Answer: "With sugar"
Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"
Answer: "Cane sugar "
Question:" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"
Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."
Question: "Mineral water or still water ? "
Answer: "Mineral water"
Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"
Answer: U bas***d I'll rather die of Thirst... :/
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There is Nothing Greater Than
Parents in This World.
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So Go & Get Married Fast and
Become Parents.
Think Different 😳😉
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" One man had a child
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1 year later - man asked the child-
what to gift you?
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child said
ping pong ball
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2'nd b'day-
Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
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3rd b'day
Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
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4th bday
Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
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5th bday
Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
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6thb'day
Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
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24th bday
Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
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he got married
at honeymoon
Wife-what do u want?
Husband-ping pong ball
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25th bday
Wife - what gift you want?
Husband-ping pong ball
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26th bday
Wife - what gift you want?
Husband-ping pong ball
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27th bday
Wife - what gift you want?
Husband-ping pong ball
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his kids become 15 yrs old
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40th bday
kids- Father what gift you want?
Father - ping pong ball
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41st b'day
kids- Father what gift you want?
Father - ping pong ball
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42nd bday
kids- Father what gift you want?
Father - ping pong ball
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79th b'day
kids- Father what gift you want?
Father - ping pong ball
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time for his death
all the people from whom he took
ping pong ball
(Like his Wife, kids and all others)
came to him and asked
Why did you ask for ping pong
ball all the time?
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He said give me a ping pong ball
then I will tell you...
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Then those people gave him a
ping pong ball
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He said when I will be extremely
near to death then I will tell
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During those last moments when
he is about to die
everyone reached him and asked
tell us why did you ask for ping
pong ball always?
he said.
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I asked for a ping pong ball on my
every b'day because
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And he died... before he could tell
the Reason...
What a tragedy! What a tragedy!!!
Hmmm?
Now don't look at me like
thisss … Y Should I
suffer
alone... 😳😆😉
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READ THIS SCARY STORY IF YOU
DARE.
On a rainy day,
an old man was standing with a
book for sale.
A young man came to buy.
He bought the book for Rs.3000.
The Old man advised "DONT OPEN
LAST PAGE OF THE BOOK otherwise
YOU'll
face problem"
The Man finished the book with
great fear but didn't open the last
page.
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But, after a week,
Out of curiosity he opened the last
page and..
He almost fainted to see..
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Retail Price: Rs 30/- :-P :-)
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Let X= Y
2X= 2Y
so 2X- X= 2Y- Y
=> 2X- 2Y= X- Y
=> 2(X-Y)= X-Y
=> 2=1
changed math's theory bwahahah 😳😃😆
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Mr.See and Mr.Saw.
One day Mr.see saw sea & Mr.saw didnt see sea
See saw sea & jumped in sea.
Saw didnt see sea but jumped in sea.
See saw saw in sea & saw saw see in sea.
See saw both saw sea and both saw and see were happy to see sea.
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Y husbands avoid questions!
WIFE: Wht wud u do if I died?Wud u gt married again?
H:N0
W:Y nt?Don't u like bng married?
H:Of course I do?
W:dn Y wudn't u remarry?
H:k k I'd gt married again.
W:Wud u live in our house?
H:Yes its a gr8 house.
W:Wud u let her drive my car?
H:Yes its almost new?
W:Wud u giv her my jewelry?
H:No Im sure she wd want her own.
W:Wud she wear my shoes?
H:No her size is 6?
W:silence
H:SHIt😛
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