She was in the same position since 12:00 am. Sitting in the bed, Pulling her legs to her chest , as she used to do every 8th January of each year. She know the nothing new will happened this year, but hope always fooled her.
She kept this in her heart for 15 years, she was not able to share it with anyone including "Amma, Bau ji, and Payal jiji"!. She wish if she can told them about it, but she couldn't, it always stifle it self when she try to talk about it!
She sighed after wiping another tear, before she took her phone, to share it with a person she promised to share everything with him. She know that it will not relive her or change anything, but at least, someone will know about it, finally!.
She signed in, and start writing:
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Dear my mysterious friend,
Sorry for sending you an e-mail at this late time.
8th January.. It's my parent death anniversary. It's my birthday too , in papers, but I never feel it was, and no one consider it my birthday, as if I don't have a birthday.
8th January, 1991, the day when I was born, the same day that my mother passed away after she gave a birth for me. Khushi, it was her name, and that why my name is khushi, or else I wouldn't be named Khushi as my coming in life was followed by sadness and my mother's eternal leaving..
she was very beautiful outside and inside, I saw her photos, and I head a lot about her from My father, Amma ji, and all the people who knew her. She was 23 years old when she died, only after 2 years of her marriage, only after few second of giving a birth for her first and only child. She died before she could see or touch her child that she carried inside her and waited to see for 9 months. She died before she could dress up her newborn with the clothes she sewed with all her love. She died and left a depressed husband and an orphan newborn. She died and left for us her memories..
8th January, 1998, I still remember this day clearly, the day when I lost my only family, the man that was my father and mother in the same time. In that day, we went to the mandir, praying for my mother in her death anniversary. It was the first time that my father took me with him to pray for my mother in the mandir with him as I became a "big girl". After we finished the pray, he asked me to wait for him as he wanted to bring something. While I was waiting, I heard noises and screams, I saw many people walking in hurry outside the mandir. I followed them as I was scared.. and I saw my father's dead body in the middle of the road, blood covering most of his part. I cried, I shouted, I tried to pull him to stand up to return back to our house. But nothing could change the fate, he died, and I became an orphan for the second time.
My mother's sister -Amma ji- and her husband -Bau ji- adopted me. I suffered a lot for many months because of my father loss, I felt insecure, I felt that I have noone in this whole life, I was wishing to die too to be with my parent. Bau ji, Amma ji, and also Bua ji tried their best to make me forget, to make me overcome my loss, to make me accept them as my new family, my new parent, and they succeed, their love, their caring, their tolerance of my tantrums, their patient and understanding, doing for me things without return, by all that, they won my heart .. I gradually opened up to them, I accepted them, I start calling them Bau ji and Amma ji instead of Uncle ji and Aunty ji, I still remember the tears of happiness in their eyes when I called them Amma and Bau ji for the first time. :).. There was no difference between me or Payal jiji .. Amma was fair with both of us, bua ji like Payal as she was quite girl and don't create chaos unlike me :P, and I feel that I'm Bau ji's favorite!. I never felt that I was not their real daughter, they are my family, they did for me more than any family will do for their own children. and I hope that I had never showed them that they are not my real parent!
But.. I cannot forget that they are not, I cannot forget that I'm an orphan.. I never forgot my real parent. Their memories accompanied me with each step of my life, their memories was not forgotten for a single day. I always pray for their soul, I always cry as I wish if they still with me, I smile and feel happy when I remember my and my father memories, I smile when I saw my mother's tangible memories that she left with me. The baby clothes that my mother sewed for me when I was fetus, is my treasure, it remind me that there was a woman who loved me unconditionally, she tolerated the pain, and she gave up her life to make me see the light of this life. Her payal that I wore, make feel that she is with me with each step I take in my life.
I remember me and my father memories, I remember all his stories that he was telling me, all his talk about my mother, I remember the way he was carding my hair, prepare for me my favorite dishes, he was doing the mother and the father role in the same time. I remember how he refused to marry another woman as he don't want a step mother for me, who may create a rift between me and him. I remember. He was a great father, who dedicate his life to compensate me for the mother loss. his loss was my biggest loss!.
Their memories, the pain of them not being with me, it's always with me, every day and every night, not only in their death anniversary. There is not difference between my feeling, our beautiful memories and my pain of losing them in this day and all the other days, it's always with me, it's not
The only difference in this day, that it's always make me feel that I was responsible for their death, It's always make me feel that my birth was an ominous event, I already heard few comments about linking my birth to my mother death, and then my father death. I know I'm not, it is Devi Mayia decision to take them in the same day I was born on, but this feelings, these comments are unignorable. Also, the treatment that I got in my birthday make me feel like that! They prefer to leave me alone, and they look at me with pity in this day. I don't blame my family at all, they just behave with me in a normal way, just as how other people behave with other people in their parents' death anniversary. It's only that I'm the one who is abnormal!
I don't know what you will think about me after reading this, but I wish to celebrate my birthday!. I had never celebrated my birthday!. I always envied Payal jiji when they were celebrate her birthday! Though bau ji always take my hand and make me stand next to Payal jiji and cut the cake with her, though Amma ji always prepare my favorite food just as she do for Payal jiji, though bua ji always brought for me same as Payal jiji's gift, but I know it was Payal jiji's birthday, not mine! It was Payal jiji's special day not mine. It was Payal jiji who was hearing "Happy birthday" not me.
I always felt awkward when the girls in the school talk about their birthdays, their plans for it, and their memories. All the girls have beautiful memories in their birthdays, except me. I spent many night awake, dreaming of cutting my birthday's cake while my family singing to me "Happy birthday", I dreamed of boasting of it just as the other girls was doing.
Many times before my birthday/my parent death anniversary, I had thought of telling bau ji and Amma ji about my wish! I know If I told them they will make it true, but I couldn't!. I'm a talkative and demanding girl, but when in come to talk about this topic, I become dumb, I just cannot say anything about it. I just wait, every year at 12:00 in hope that someone will surprise me , that I will hear a group "happy birthday" for me just as we used to do for Payal jiji, Amma, bua ji and bauji in their birthdays. I still wish to hear "Happy birthday", I still wish if I can have happy memories in this day.
I know, if anyone know about what in my heart, they will say what an ungrateful girl who want to celebrate and have fun in her parent's death anniversary, silly girl, she became 21 and still dream of childish things. But that what I really want! This is one of my dreams which seems that it will never come true, and again, I'm not blaming anyone for that. What is done is normal, I'm the abnormal one.
Sorry my friend if I cause to you any inconvenience, I just was waiting like every year, and like every year, nothing happened! I should have known that this year nothing will happened as Amma and bua ji are not here which even minimize the chance. Also, Arnav ji, is not here! He had surprised me with different things recently, and I was having an inner feeling that he will surprise me again, in my birthday. But he didn't, and I don't blame him or disappointed with him, no, at all!, he don't know that its my birthday, and if he came to know, he will know too that it is my parents death anniversary, and as any normal human being, he will not even think of celebrating my birthday.. Nonetheless, I wish if he was here.
Regards,
Khushi
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***
He couldn't control his emotions that flooded him, he couldn't curb his tears. He ended reading her e-mail with a cascade of tears. He felt a pinch on his heart reading her words about her parent, how they died, the way they loved her, the way she wished if they were with her. He respected her Bau ji and her Amma a lot, he never really bothered about them, but after reading how they treated Khushi and made her adapt with them without her parents, he respected them , a lot.
When he read what she wrote about "birthdays", how she was feeling during Payal's birthday, how she was feeling when people talk about their own birthday, the flow of tears increased. It's hurt him how she feels responsible of her parent death because of her birthday, its hurt him how she was in pain silently for many years, its hurt him how no one could understand what she want, not even try to understand! Including him, the one who she expected him to do something for her. He wished if he did not talk to his Di, he wished if his Di hadn't told him about Khushi's birthday and her parent death anniversary, if so, he would have made her happy now, he would unintentionally made her dreams true. He wished at least if didn't become weak and tried to avoid seeing her sad. But alas, he did.
On the other hand, Some part of him was feeling jealous of the "mysterious friend" ! how strange, He was jealous from himself!. He wished if Khushi had called him and told him about her feelings and wishes instead of writing to her "mysterious friend", He wished if she could trust him, share with him everything like what she was doing her "mysterious friend". Maybe it was his fault, maybe he should make her trust him, maybe he should listen to her, ask about , so that she can replace the mystrious friend with him!. He was feeling a weird feelings, It was him whom she was sharing every thing with. But will she do it if she know that the "mysterious friend" is him-Arnav Singh Raizada?. All of sudden, he hated how Khushi preferred to trust and tell these important things that she kept inside her for many years to an anonymous person. Why not him ! How can he make her open her heart to him as Arnav, as she is doing to her mysterious friend! He have no idea, but he need that! For her, for him, for their relationship. He too need someone with whom he can share what is in his heart, and this one was Khushi, and only Khushi.
He Sighed as he remembered what was more important right now more than the mysterious friend matter!. He should go to Khushi, he should make her dream true, it wasn't too late to do it.
***
The silence of the darkness dominated the place. There was nothing but silence, the sunlight hasn't lightened the earth yet. He opened the door of her room slowly; it was not dark as the other parts of the house, a dim light lightened the room because of the Abajour.
He walked toward the bed and He saw her. His heart melted seeing her beautiful, peaceful face that perfectly hide behind him an unbearable pain, he squeezed his eyes shut remembering her e-mail, he tried his best to control his emotions!. He sat in the bed and held her small soft hand to print a long, deep kiss on the back of her hand, conveying his yearning, his love, and his regret for not being with her earlier.
He couldn't stay away knowing what is in her heart, knowing that he is the only one who can make her dream true, because he was the only one who know what was going on her heart - because of the e-mail-. After he had decided to return back, he was about to call Rahul and Aman , asking them to re-do what he asked them to cancel, when he realized that it was 1:00 am. He had dressed up and decided to go to the airport, determinant to find a flight to Delhi as soon as possible.
And he is here , without a specific plans, without knowing what should he do, how to celebrate her birthday beside consoling her in her parent death anniversary, what will be her reaction, how will he answer her questions if she asked him!. He don't have any idea about it, but he don't care about anything right now, he will take it as it will come, he just wanted to be with her, he just want to create for her a beautiful memories in her birthday.
He started at her peaceful face. His hand moved to her velvety cheek and caressed it softly, he was sure that tears wet them few hours ago. He caressed it softly and started calling her name in his husky voice. He saw her pouting and slightly wriggling, irritated as her peaceful sleep has been distracted. It took from him few minutes to make her open her eyes and look at him. She open it. And stared at him for long moments.
***
when she opened her eyes, she felt that she was dreaming! "Arnav ji" was in front of her! How it's possible?! he was in Mumbai, and according to what she heard for "Akash ji" last night when they were having the dinner, The problems in Mumbai's brunch hasn't been solved yet, and he should stay for more days there. But she is seeing him in front of her!, she wondered as she blinked and rubbed her eyes to make sure!, still he was in front of her!. She sat and gave her hand the permission to touch his face. She cupped his face as she said: " Arnav ji ?"
" Yes.. it's me, Arnav" he replied as he slightly bent toward her.
Without a hesitant, She pressed herself against him, between his welcoming arms. She hugged him as she whispered: "Thanks to Devi mayia that you have returned back..".. She felt his hand caressing her back and pulling her closer to him, she felt his lips and his nose tickling the side of her neck as he rested his head between her shoulder and her neck, she felt his breath caressing her sensitive neck's skin sending a waves of warmth and relief though her as he said: "Did you missed me!". She closed her eyes and tightened the hug, giving him the answer silently, yet clearly. Yes she had missed him and she will not let him go.
She pulled back after several minutes with a moist eyes, she stared at him who was looking at her too. She felt that she will cry and will tell him everything was bothering her, everything she was feel about today, but she decided to distract herself of thinking about it now!. She turned her face and noticed that that sun hasn't shone yet, she took her phone to check the time and it was 4:30!. She looked at him with furrowed eyes as she asked: " A..Arnav ji. why did you returned back! Last night Akash ji told us that you will spend some more days in Mumbai for working!, and why you are here at this very early hour?!"
"Yes, I still have work there, but I left it and returned back because of you!"
"because of me !" She asked with a wide eyes!
" Yes, because of you!,I wasn't able to see you, and also you had prevented me from hearing your voice, so I decided to come !" He ended his sentence, resting his forehead against her.
She smiled as she closed her yes, enjoying the delightful emotions that she felt after hearing his words, he made her like a unique person that means everything for him. However, she tried her best to erase the smile as she remember how he had hung up the call, and she remembered the punishment. She pushed him lightly and pouted as she said: "Thanks for reminding me that I decided not talk to you! .. I'm angey at you ok ! you had asked me to remind you of the meals and the medicine, and when I did you yel-..." She couldn't completed her sentence as Arnav stood up, pulled the quilt off her, put a hand behind her back and the other underneath her knees.She was carried in his strong arm.
Before she could question him or ask him to put her down, she heard him saying with a half-smile: "I'm not here to discuss that with you, I came here to kidnap you.. for a day!"
She stared at him with a rounded eyes and lips trying to absorb what he said and what he meant, being kidnapped by the Rakshas! it wasn't a bad idea, she thought as she smiled shyly. He took her smile as a permission for him to kidnap her, he start walking toward the door, his eyes locked with her, but stopped as she said with a fake frown: " Rakshas! Can you let me freshen up and dress up before kidnapping me?!"
He just noticed that she was still wearing her Pajama, and her hair was messy as she just woke up. He put her down and said: " Ok, but quickly please, try to finish before anyone woke up and ruin my kidnapping plans.. I will wait for you in the car!" He ended with smirk, and a playful stroke on her nose ..
she nodded with wide grin.. She was very excited to be kidnapped by her sweet "Rakshas" , in her birthday!. 
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