Diss-claimer: The following chapter is as close to my heart as it is to Arnav and his chote. I only watch for Arnav and Khushi, rest of the illogical crap does not exist for me. Their story is so real, it can happen to anyone. Star-crossed lovers! the lovely couple who are on the screen for a blink and a miss but enough for me to give me my 20 minutes worth of watch. This chapter DOES contain graphic words (decode this!) so consider yourself warned.
Reader discretion is NOT advised because let's face it, if you are reading this note, you are here to read the rest so don't fool yourself or anyone else for that matter. Padhna hai to padho aur agar nahi padhna to bhi padho. Like, comment, Res - kuch to creative karo unless you want me to go all twitter on yo' ass! 😆
Chapter 12: The chronicles of Towel-iya: Past and Present Recap:
The audio too was unclear, but a certain peeping Tom gaping at his 1980s monitor was positive he heard "puchak." The obligatory twitching and comical 'W*F' face ensued as the door to Arnav and Khushi's room burst open..."Nannav, mere bhai! Khushiji stool par kyun badhi hain?"-------------------------------------------------------------------
"What The!" Arnav roared in disbelief that his incompetence had rubbed off on Khushi. The "puchak" that left her lips and was en-route to his was once again interrupted by the SP nuns currently residing in the 8pm slot.
"NK! What the hell are you doing here? and don't you knock?!?" a puchak-deprived Arnav charged at NK.
"Sorry Nannav, I came to borrow a towel from you". As "chote" receded quickly in 11/28/40/45 seconds, just as quickly the vein in Arnav's right temple started to bulge with anger. He screamed -
"How dare you! I don't share my towels with ANYONE" and stomped out of the room.
Khushi in traveling the distance between the stool and the floor gained 11/28/40/45 brain cells and had an epiphany - the "
TOWEL". She couldn't help but wonder if Arnav's lack of performance issues were due to the repressive memories of the
"towel" and the
"haadsa" that happened 14 years ago. After bribing Kamlesh Khabri with two dozen jalebis and dirt on Mamaji's latest excursions, Khushi was finally able to dig out the truth:
One day 14 years ago in Sheesh Mahal, Arnav, a teenager very much unaware of his chote's natural tendencies, was dared to attempt a stunt: to put a towel between his legs and rock it back and forth in a swift motion with a uniform speed. About 11/28/40/45 seconds into the act, Arnav heard a roar of laughter from the bystanders prompting him to look down between his legs, the towel was moist but a determined, unfazed and confused Arnav kept going until 2 nanoseconds later, the towel was completely wet. Completely baffled at this, Arnav ran inside his room and attempted the stunt again and again and again. After 15 minutes and 11284045 attempts later, Arnav was still confused and the floor was covered with wet towels. Night passed and the next day Arnav was woken up from his deep slumber by a shrieking "Naaahhhiii" from his mother. Arnav's little stunt was secretly videotaped by his friend Aman and released to all major TV channels in all of Dicknow with a caption: "Newest Entry in the Guinness Book of World Records: The shortest Khud-Khushi". Dicknow - a city very much known for its longest khud-khushi records was humiliated, Arnav's mother felt ashamed that her son's barely existent khud-khushi caused so much shame to the town and the family. In this utter disbelief, Arnav was thrown out of Sheesh Mahal and all he could do was scream - "Maaa!"Khushi finally knew Arnav's nanosecond khud khushis were murdering her khushi and she had to do something. With the help of Buaji, Khushi tracked down a psychic specializing in such cases. The "cure" was not so easy:
to erase the past, you must recreate it. Khushi picked out a perfect towel and waited all day with bated breath for Arnav's return. At 5 minutes till 12, a puchak-deprived disgruntled Arnav entered the room and found a mischievous Khushi with a towel in her hand. Before he could say anything, Khushi stopped him:
"Arnavji - I know about the haadsa but you have to farak that shit and move on for my Khushi. I know just the way to make it all go away BUT you will have to grant me my wish".
"What is your wish?" as he inquired, a pleasantly surprised Arnav couldn't wait to hear the rest and then .. Khushi delivered the magic words:
"Arnav ji - you don't need a towel. We need to rub the lamp and release the genie and my wish will be granted. Let's do it!"
---------------------------------------------
Now all rise for the Chameli Anthem:
ASR Rox (the towel)
Sarun Paper (now blank, once it used to be a story and a script)
Arshi Scissors (for Arnav's Vasectomy)
Don't go anywhere! Another Chameli will be here with another Chikna chapter
Edited by joenet1234 - 13 years ago
Hollywood
Naagin 7
Health and Fitness
Cricket
