Part 2
She got up and went to her cupboard and placed the photo back in it's place this time making no promises to herself.She looked down at the pile of clothes she had thrown yesterday and sighed.I need to clear this mess along with the mess i have created in my life she thought.
One by one she picked up her clothes and started placing them in her cupboard in a proper manner.At the same time she tired to arrange her thoughts.She wished thought would have been like clothes so that we could keep the wanted with us and give away the unwanted one.Or atleast we could have freedom to choose which thought would be in our head today and the remaining would be safely closed inside the compartment of brain..
Life is not that easy she reminded herself.She was done with the clothes but the mess of thought was still in her head.Thinking that bath tub meditation would help she went in washroom.She started the hot water tap in the tub and waited for the tub to get filled.As the water was rising level by level in the tub the memories of yesterday started rising in her head.
All the event were passing in front of her eyes like a motion picture.starting from the drama in canteen where she insulted swayam and the verbal fight in class room and the end of motion picture was swayam calling her easy gal...
'Easy gal...easy gal' now this was the only word which was ringing in her head.Her string of thought was disturbed by the hot water coming out of the tub.She quickly closed the tap and closed her eyes and said, "how could you swayam??How could you say those things to me???"
"Whats wrong in what he said ,Sharon??"She heard her own voice questioning her back.She opened her eyes to see her reflection in the still water of bath tub talking to her.
Sh: Whats wrong???He questioned my character do u get that.
Re: well he is not at fault for that..What he saw made him think that way afterall in one party swayam and in other party shivam...
Sh: Why the hell are you defending him.you are suppose to be on my side.
Re: i am not on anybodies side. I am just pointing out what is right..
Sh: So you mean to say that swayam was right when he called me easy gal.Then let me tell u FYI that in RDX sir's party i was drunk. I was not in my senses.But i dont regret even the millisecond of the time i spend with swayam.And in Shivam's party everything happened so fast that even before i could understand anything he kissed me...but when i felt his lips on my cheeks i felt guilty i n just pushed him away...
Sharon was now breathing heavily.She clenched her fist and said,"You would never understand wat i feel abt those two night...memories of one night i want to cherish it n memories of other i want burn them..."
Re: i already know this..but does swayam knows??He only saw shivam kissing u...
now sharon was loosing her control.She just shouted,"Oh really!!!Then i pity him he should have waited to see my reaction.."
Re: By the way Sharon..it's better that swayam thinks that u r an easy gal...just look it this way he will think abt u like this and move out of u r life...U dnt hv to take any extra effort to keep him away from u...
It was getting unbearable for sharon her reflection was just blabbering crap.She placed her foot on the still water on tub making her reflection to shut up.
She lied in the hot water.The warmth of the water was so soothing.She closed her eyes and concentrated on her breathing.This was what she always did when she was not able to focus or control herself.She called it bath tub meditation.
Once she was in control of her mind she questioned herself,"What would be my next step???"
She knew that she loved swayam but she wont let him enter her life.To keep him away she decided to stick to the previous plan.Ignore swayam n insult swayam.And now she had a perfect reason to do so afterall he had doubted her character.She was going to hold it against him because he had hurted a girl's self respect. She assured her mind that swayam was denied access in her life and closed her eyes...
You would think why is sharon still in denial mode when she knows that she loves swayam??why is she making his as well as her life difficult when she knows that feeling of love is mutual.And if u ask me that is sharon to blamed?then i would say NO.
Sharon is not be blamed.She is afraid because she has tasted the bitter truth of life at such a young age.Many experienced people fail to understand life then who was she a mere college going gal.She is no saint but just God's another child who is trying to understand why God has been merciless on her?Why was she the choosen one??Why was her mother the one whom God wanted??She was just making sure that she would not give God another chance to be merciless on her.she is not afraid of accepting swayam but she is afraid of loosing him after acceptance.She was just trying to cope up with the challenges life presented in her own way.Thats all i hv got to say...well i end it with four lines.
'Zindagi ka safar he ye kaisa safar,
Koi samajha nahi ko jaana nahin.
he yeh kaisi daggar chalte hai sab magar,
Koi samajha nahi ko jaana nahin.'
Nxt chap summary- Sharon insulting Swayam .And Rey deciding to interfere in swaron.
P.S-The credit of last four line goes to Indeevar.Well these r lines from a old hindi song.I stumbled upon it's lyrics while i was googling.
Well guys do comment and criticism and suggestion are always welcome...
Edited by tanharocks - 13 years ago
Anupamaa
Cricket
12