Puzzle of Gouri's Selfrespect - Page 13

Dear SRK madam, if u want no one comment on ur AJIBO GARIB THEORIES. better u keep it to itself and don't jump in all discussion and generalize it. Who asked u Wht u wd hv done in ur personal life with ur husband. We least interested in it. We r talking abt JAGO here and not ur personal life. Don't bring urself between. Did I told u must share ur money with ur husband?? But ofcourse its strange to relate sharing or not sharing with SELF RESPECT. Don't even hope tht u will make theories and no one wd comment on it. As u told my mocking on ur theories INSPIRED U making AJIBO GARIB THEORIES. thn why now suddenly reached on boiling point. 😆 😆 😆

becoming finacially indepent is good but to show ur husband or wife that i am self indepent person .i can manage without out is not good.

Originally posted by: ankit111

Dear SRK madam, if u want no one comment on ur AJIBO GARIB THEORIES. better u keep it to itself and don't jump in all discussion and generalize it. Who asked u Wht u wd hv done in ur personal life with ur husband. We least interested in it. We r talking abt JAGO here and not ur personal life. Don't bring urself between. Did I told u must share ur money with ur husband?? But ofcourse its strange to relate sharing or not sharing with SELF RESPECT. Don't even hope tht u will make theories and no one wd comment on it. As u told my mocking on ur theories INSPIRED U making AJIBO GARIB THEORIES. thn why now suddenly reached on boiling point. 😆 😆 😆

They are my personal thoughts which you MAKE into theories😆 I am not the only one who gives personal examples on this forum😆 If MY self respect is in keeping separate accounts who told you to generalise it to think I meant for ALL women😆 You've been doing this since day one anyway nothing new😆 Mocking also has a limit. Why should one MOCK on a public forum?😆 If you stuck by your own principles you would not MOCK anyone's opinion rather respect it and comment nicely. The majority of others on this forum manage to do so anyway. But why should I expect anything different from you😆

SRKLuvr: There's a huge difference between planning things theoretically and actually doing the things in reality. I guess we are arguing on two completely different planes of theoretical vs lived experience. You are not yet married and your argument about financial accounts is theoretical. What you are discussing are your plans, and to be honest I also felt like you before I got married 😛. In our courtship period, when we were staying in separate places, we used to split every expense we incurred together. And I couldn't imagine him contributing towards my room rent or groceries.

However, the theoretical set up changed after marriage when we started a living like a family. As I said, we still have separate accounts and separate spending habits and we don't control each other's right to spend. But we are definitely one unit. Out assets are joint, our total balance is a combined one, we make joint financial decisions and at the end of the day, we live like a family, not room mates. And it's not my experience alone; that's what most of us have been talking about. Many of us who are talking here are already living in a married household and thus know exactly how things work, whereas you are arguing mostly from a theoretical point of view. So there's no point in arguing---since theoretical vs actual experiences are bound to differ. 😛

Coming to JG. We don't exactly know how their household runs. The only instance where we get to see a separation of funds between them is regarding the car, when Gauri claimed the car is hers and shouted at Jagat for using it. Apart from that, all the other instances point at a joint expense management:
1. Jagya begged for money from Anandi for both him and Gauri. See the epi where he clearly mentions Gauri's expenses too
2. They have been seen cooking together and eating together, so their groceries are not separate
3. Gauri gave the grocery list to Jagya and Jagya was supposed to buy them. There was no separation there of respective items
4. There is no indication of separation of funds when Gauri's ma-bapu arrives. Ideally there should be, if the couple is living on exact division.
5. Jagat was worried about Gauri's medical expenses. In a divided cost household he should not worry---it should be solely Gauri's headache then.
6. When Jagya was getting worried about money supply in Jetsar, Gauri assured that they will figure out something and called Bade Papa. If they were not running joint household, Jagya's lack of funds should not be Gauri's worry, nor would she ask Bade Papa to help.

So there are umpteen number of proofs that their household is a joint one, like any other normal couple's, and not how you come to portray it. Nevertheless, if they are still living in the way you describe, then I must say they haven't become a married couple yet. Gauri is living independently with a married man who has joint finances with his wife in Jetsar.🤣

Originally posted by: surabhi01

becoming finacially indepent is good but to show ur husband or wife that i am self indepent person .i can manage without out is not good.

Now for example see the instance where a husband wife have been living together for 12 years with 3 small children. Wife has never worked and husband is the sole breadwinner for the family. Out of the blue husband has an affair and decides he wants to leave wife and kids and marry another. Now what will the poor wife do with 3 kids if she has neither parental support nor any degrees or money of her own? She felt she had no way of supporting the children. In this case the poor woman tried to suicide If the woman had self independence and had a way to manage financially without him she would not have been reduced to this state. Now she will just live on his alimony. Is that in the self respect of a woman to live on the funds of her philandering ex? Its not wrong of course legally he has to give but wouldn;t it make the woman herself feel bad that she has been reduced to living off the guy who broke her?

Originally posted by: woman11

SRKLuvr: There's a huge difference between planning things theoretically and actually doing the things in reality. I guess we are arguing on two completely different planes of theoretical vs lived experience. You are not yet married and your argument about financial accounts is theoretical. What you are discussing are your plans, and to be honest I also felt like you before I got married 😛. In our courtship period, when we were staying in separate places, we used to split every expense we incurred together. And I couldn't imagine him contributing towards my room rent or groceries.

However, the theoretical set up changed after marriage when we started a living like a family. As I said, we still have separate accounts and separate spending habits and we don't control each other's right to spend. But we are definitely one unit. Out assets are joint, our total balance is a combined one, we make joint financial decisions and at the end of the day, we live like a family, not room mates. And that's what most of us have been talking about. Many of us who are talking here are already living in a married household and thus know exactly how things work, whereas you are arguing mostly from a theoretical point of view. So there's no point in arguing---since theoretical vs actual experiences are bound to differ. 😛

Coming to JG. We don't exactly know how their household runs. The only instance where we get to see a separation of funds between them is regarding the car, when Gauri claimed the car is hers and shouted at Jagat for using it. Apart from that, all the other instances point at a joint expense management:
1. Jagya begged for money from Anandi for both him and Gauri. See the epi where he clearly mentions Gauri's expenses too
2. They have been seen cooking together and eating together, so their groceries are not separate
3. Gauri gave the grocery list to Jagya and Jagya was supposed to but them. There was no separation there of respective items
4. There is no separation of funds when Gauri's ma-bapu arrives. Ideally there should be if the couple is living on exact division.
5. Jagat was worried about Gauri's medical expenses. In a divided cost household he should not worry---it should be Gauri's headache then.
6. When Jagya was getting worried about money supply in Jetsar, Gauri assured that they will figure out something and called Bade Papa. If they were not running joint household Jagya's lack of funds should not be Gauri's worry, nor would she ask Bade Papa to help.

So there are umpteen number of proofs that their household is a joint one, like any other normal couple's, and not how you come to portray it. Nevertheless, if they are still living in the way you describe, then I must say they haven't become a married couple yet. Gauri is living independently with a married man who has joint finances with his wife in Jetsar.🤣

Sorry😆 Looks like we are on completely different points here😆

Originally posted by: lakshmim_84

I would never support gauri's actions in instigting Jagat to demand his property rights... I mean what rights!!!... Is it parent's rights that, they brought up their kids... Have they ever asked the kids to repay the money that they spend on bringing up the kids... If no, then what rights do the kids have on the properties of their parents, when the parents are alive. No, If gauri had any Self-Respect she wouldn't have suggested this...she would have suggested reducing their expenses, working extra...or any other means... but never asking your husband to demand for the property. This action of hers only proves that she is greedy. .[/DIV]

Excellent point 👏 I agree whole heartedly!!! Children should have not show the audacity to ask for property share till parents are alive. First repay for the efforts & money that parents have spent in bringing you up. And then stand up for your rights

problem is with u that u always think negative about ur future husband .u have never met ur future husband then why to think negative about him .first meet him talk to him then make decision.

I think my POV has been taken as something else😆 True that I don't know how it works yet but I think at the end of the day the simple point I was trying to make is that the wife should have her financial independence so that future situations such as what I outlined last page are avoided. Perhaps its best for future we don't mention personal cases as obviously some members have a problem with it😆

As for JG whether with intention or not the CVs have not made it clear how exactly that household runs. They have given a number of different indications however I believe as long as Gauri is giving her equal share in that household it means she is not living off anybody or taking advantage of anything. How Jogia gets his money and gives his share - as long as its not wrong or illegal should be his business alone.