@SOCHA NA THA@ MG ff-ch 14, pg 54, 16th may - Page 27

Chapter 12

My mind is under constant speculations and there's nothing I can do to come out of it. Now all I needed to do was ignore Maan to all extents. Well, yeah I know, it's the toughest job that too when I am supposed to be working with him. I still cant imagine why I don't stop him when he tries to kiss me and this time, I broke my records, I kissed him back. Well that calls for a bashing!!! After maan left, all I have done is stare the blank walls of my cabin. That reminds me, why are the walls so pale??? I mean, no color, no artifacts to decorate it just plain white. Sometimes it does feel like the walls are like my life, plain without any excitement, until that is maan showed up. My life is on a roller-coaster ride.

It was 4pm and I had move to college. I got up and went to the rest room. I was a complete mess, all thanks to MAAN SINGH KHURANA. Right now, if a kid saw me, he/ she would definitely run away screaming. I quickly washed my face, combed my hair and straightened my dress. Well now I looked better. Thank god I decided to come here before going out. I sighed in relief. I rushed back to my cabin, got my bag and jacket and walked towards the lift with my head down. I was constatly praying that wouldn't have to face maan again today, but as the saying goes "Man proposes, God disposes". May be that's what was bound to happen today to my dismay. As I approached the lift, it was steadily closing, I dint want to miss that and rushed towards it and got inside catching my breathe. I smiled at my achievement. Just then I realised that I was not alone in the lift and I was stading in front of a man. How do I know that??? Well I was looking down and I could see a pair of neatly polished, shiny black leather formal men's shoes. That was a little overboard explanation I guess, well it deserves it. I slowly lifted my head in anticipation.

Yeah, you are right! It was maan. He looked pleasingly at me. His faade was mild and his eyes hurt. He gave a curt smile at me and moved aside to make space for me. I kept on staring at him and stood at the place he was standing. I lump formed in my throat as if I was reason for his pain. I looked down uneasily and I looked at him again. He was plainly smiling at me.

"Geet, which floor?", he gestured at me all of a sudden. That brought me back to reality. We stood there for 2-3 mins and none of us had thought of pressing the floor buttons. How lost we were….

"Ground floor", I replied in a low voice.

He pressed the ground floor and leaned on the lift and looked at me. "What's wrong geet? Why do u look so worried?", he asked with concern. I looked at him, he looked very much concerned about me.

"nothing", I replied and turned to face the lift door and closed my eyes. I could sense him nearing me. He put his hand on my face and carassed it slowly. My heart started beating rapidly and I started breathing heavily. He traced his finger on my face slowly and came much more closer to me and whispered in my ears ever so lightly, "you are beautiful geet, you make me so vulnerable. U make me melt". I opened my eyes and faced him with fear in my eyes. He took my face in his hands and looked me in the eye. God, those killer eyes. Mesmerising as ever.

"Don't fear me geet. I am not your enemy", he said it with so much pain in his voice, it made me feel guilty. He looked directly in my eyes, I couldn't take the intensity of his gaze anymore and I turned away from his gaze and closed my eyes. Soon after he fell back, I could sense his hands leaving my face and feel him moving away from me. The lift door opened and before I could look around, he had left. I felt dejected and helpless. Tears started flowing down my cheeks profusely. I wiped my tears and started towards the exit.

I stood near the footpath and waited for a cab to come by. 5mins passed by and a single cab. Screw it! Somehow this day was not going fine and I hate it. Just then a black mercedes sedan came and stopped in front of me. I was surprised wondering who it was. The glass went down and there sat Maan. Of all the people, why him??? Everywhere??? What the hell is going on with me??? I scratched my head in frustration. He was wearing a dark black shades. He turned towards me,

"need a lift?", with a straight face.

Now I had 2 options. Either a yes or a no. if I say yes, I had to sit beside him the whole way and that would feel odd that too after what happened today. Both of us would be in a way too horrible scenario, or may be not. If I say no, I would again hurt him. That reminds me, have I really hurt him??? Am I the sole reason behind his pain??? Somehow I dint want to hurt him, not anymore. He has always tried to cheer me up and all I have done is behave rudely with him. Somehow I am not myself when he's around. He turns me inside out and I don't know why the hell I fear him so much??? Am I the only in this world with so many questions unanswered? I feel so lonely…

"Geet….", maan called out. "where are u lost?". His voice brought me back to reality.

"Sorry, I was just thinking", I replied.

"thinking about what? Whether to ride with me or not is it?", he asked with a straight face. Now that hurt me, he never spoke to me like that.

"no, I'll go with you", I said without thinking. I dint want to hurt him again with my stupidity. I don't know what happened but he smiled so widely hearing me, it actually made me feel better. He opened the other door and gestured me to get in. I nodded and got inside.

"Mr. Maan Singh Khurana at your service. Where can I take you geet?", he asked me with a cute filrtish smile. His glasses were off his handsome face now. God he looked so good. Wait, what the hell am I thinking??? Geet, think straight. Maan is ur enemy. Wake up from ur nightmare will you??? I looked at him and told him that I wanted to reach college.

"sure", he said, "that reminds me, dev had called up. He informed that he wont be coming to college this week. He has gone to Los Angeles for a business meet. He said he'll let you know when he's back", he said it as a matter of fact while driving towards the university.

"WHAT??????", I screamed at the top of my voice.

"geet can u plz not shout??? I am driving here", he asked in a pleading voice.

"um… sry abt that. It's just that he always informs me and today I don't  know why he dint call me", I told him in a pained voice. I could sense him looking at me. I was looking outside the window.

"that's because, your phone is switched off. He did try it many times, then later he called me", he said giving a slight smile. I just nodded.

"you really do like him a lot, don't you???", he asked me looking forward. I turned towards him confused and reverted back to my previous position. The rest of the journey went in silence. He dint do anything neither did he compel me to speak with him. Such a gentleman, I felt. But deep down I sensed that he had changed and I kind of dint like it. I dint understand what my problem was? When he troubled me I curse him and now when he is not doing it, I am not liking the new him. Why? My life is twisted like hell. No matter how hard I try to untangle it, nothing happens. Same old, same old. We reached the college, I got down and ran off towards the gate but I don't why I felt like maan was still there, anticipating me to turn and my legs stopped automatically. I had to confirm it, I stood still for a moment and then slowly I turned, and I was right, he was there, out of his car, looking at me curiously, his eyes silently talking to me. The fear came rushing back. I turned back and ran off inside without looking back.

When I was about to reach the class, I stopped. Somehow I dint feel right. I dint feel like going and sitting in the class all alone. No matter how many other people sat around me I would still feel awkward without dev. And right now, my life seemed to have lost its track and I needed some quality time alone. So I decided to go to Central Park. I got out of the university only to find maan still waiting there. I was descending the steps; I stopped mid-way when I saw him there. As if in reflex, as if he knew I was there, maan turned to face me. He looked at me and smiled at me. I don't know why but I felt good seeing him there. Yeah you might be thinking I have lost my mind completely but no right then that's how I was feeling. I slowly descended the steps one by one, still looking at him. When I reached him, I dint know what to do.

"Why are you still here?" was all I could utter in a squeaky voice. My legs were shaking rapidly. He smiled widely,

"I somehow knew, you would come back, may be not for me but you wouldn't attend the class. I was pretty sure about it", he said confidently. I don't know how but he sure was right about me. But being a egoistic person, I couldn't agree to what he said, most definitely not.

"I had some other important work, so I decided not to attend the class", I said mockingly.

"oh I see, is it somewhere I can drop you to? I am going to Central park. If it's somewhere there, I don't mind", he asked me genuinely.

The whole day all I did was thinking out ways to ignore him but now, looks like god has some other plans for me. No matter how hard I try, I am somehow not able to get rid of him. Yeah I know I had a chance earlier but since my mind was utterly not working, I had agreed for him to drop me to college, but now, I couldn't convince myself for this again. Hence this time I was ready go against GOD's wish. Ready to deny him, it didn't matter if maan felt bad this time. I had to keep and maintain distance from him.

"no thanks, I have to go elsewhere", and I started walking towards my destination. I had expected maan to call back on me but I was wrong. He didn't. And I decide not to turn and look back at him.