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India's Most Desirable Recap: Sonakshi Sinha

Sonakshi Sinha may as of now be a one-film wonder but that's good enough for her to rank among India's Most Desirable, as selected by ageless wonder Simi Garewal. The veteran TV host believed she had her work cut for her with the actress who she described as an "enigma", someone whose eyes scream sensuality but whose demeanour shouts "touch-me-not". A college kid in the studio audience learned this the hard way when he asked for a hug, and had to settle for a handshake instead. With no link-ups for Garewal to chew on, she decided to spend pretty much the entire episode figuring out exactly what Sinha is looking for in a mate. What she's not looking for is a moustache, we learned among a slew of other things. In our weekly recap of IMD then, we rate Simi and her B'wood bud on the cringe scale, with 10 being run-for-cover and 1 being safe-to-watch.

If we can't talk about your dates, we'll talk about your weight
Being political correct means asking stars only those questions they are comfortable answering. Simi Garewal, unsurprisingly, did not ask Sonakshi Sinha what she felt about being repeatedly compared to her father's Shatrughan Sinha's former girlfriend, Reena Roy. She didn't even ask her about her rumoured rivalry with Katrina Kaif. Instead, as predicted, Garewal wasted no time in asking Sonakshi Sinha about Sinha's past as a "roly-poly girl", a subject she has spoken about at length in the past. We almost thought we were watching Rendezvous when Garewal, making her best effort to project earnestness, asked "How did you put that weight on?" Sinha, who answered that pizzas used to be her staple diet, said she actually felt less confident now than when she was 30 kilos heavier. Her only fear, she later said, is "becoming how I was before".

Who needs bodyguards when you have parents?
Neetu Singh ain't got nothin' on Shatrughan "Shotgun" Sinha. We couldn't help imagine Sinha as Robert De Niro in a Meet The Parents-like scenario when he said that rather than Sonakshi going to live in her future husband's house, the guy should come and live with them so that he could be close to his daughter (read keep a close watch on the sucker, err, son-in-law). Shotgun also said that he would not tolerate his ghar jamai-to be complaining about "the apple of his eye". In the first segment of the episode, Simi asked the 23-year-old Sonakshi why she doesn't like going to clubs and bars like other girls her age. We're guessing it's because "partying" is somewhat frowned upon in the Sinha household. Shatrughan Sinha said he did not approve of "designer clothes" (Shotgun-speak for short dresses) while Sonakshi's mother said that Sonakshi has a 1.30am deadline. Later, in the Q&A session, a guy from the audience pointed out that Sonakshi's mum travels everywhere with her. We gather it's hard to let your hair down when mum or dad is always around.

Sonakshi is not a girl, not yet a woman
It's not often we get to quote lyrics to Britney Spears songs but they seem apt for Sonakshi Sinha who Garewal said stands apart from other girls for being "very graceful, very poised and mysterious". We don't know what the likes of Deepika Padukone or Sonam Kapoor would say to that but for a large part of the episode, we were left wondering if Garewal was interviewing a 23-year-old adult woman or a desi avatar of teen star Hannah Montana. Among the questions Garewal asked her were: have you ever sent anyone a Valentine's Day card? ("No.") How do you express your love then? Have you ever skipped a curfew? Have you ever thrown a tantrum to get what you want? Have you ever talked on the phone for six hours? Once again, Simi displayed her familiarity with teen-speak when after Sinha denied ever having had a crush on her Dabangg co-star Salman Khan, she looked at Sinha blankly and said: "Whatever!" Twice.

The Bollywood matrimonials programme
We don't know if Garewal reads these recaps but after we called the Ranbir Kapoor episode one big matrimonial ad for the star, she decided to actually draw up a matrimonial ad for Sonakshi Sinha. The guy she's looking for, by her own admission, is near impossible to find given that he should be a combination of Clark Kent and Hrithik Roshan. He should also be okay with her continuing to act after they get hitched ("I wouldn't be with someone like that," she said when asked what she would do if her boyfriend asked her to quit films for marriage). She also made it clear that "he should be able to take care of me better than my parents" and that she would dump the chap if her parents didn't approve of him. Something tells us Sonakshi will either be married off Karisma Kapoor-style or be single for a long, long time (despite the tarot card reader predicting that matrimony is a mere five years away).