Weekend Retreat 6 Scene 9 Page 13 Road Trip contd. - Page 9

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xaviara thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#81
That was sooo worth waiting for Suchi !! 😳 My heart is still beating like mad !! 😳 How do you do it sweetie ?? You had me mesmerized with the entire scene, I could imagine and feel every emotion in the entire scene !! I agree with Milee, you simply out do yourself with each and every scene !! I wish this weekend would never end so I could keep reading your beautiful scenes ! Thank you so much sweetheart ! You have no idea how much your writing these scenes means to us !! *hugs*
xaviara thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#82
Suchi I have to mention one more thing about the last scene, I loved how cheeky Divya and Viren were with each other !!! 😆 I loved how Divya went Viren Koi, I mean Kuch Chahiye Kya ?' and When Viren goes 'Akal' when Divya is wondering of Sid needs anything ! Loveeeeeee the cute nok jhoks between Devar and Bhabi ! U weave such magic in every relationship that it leaves us smiling over it for days !! 😃
Dilbole_ShiOmRu thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#83
Suchi mindblowing, fantastic, fantabulous, rocking, beautiful, awesome, can't think of any more synonyms I loved it completely don't stop jaan write more waiting.
Suchi- thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#84

Scene 8


As both of them entered into the RV they proceeded towards their section. Viren and nivi were stealing glances at each other. Once they reached their section, viren felt as if some one had punctured the big balloon of happiness inside him.


Jawahar was sleeping soundly on their bed!


Ye kya! He said a bit too loudly


Shh…came chancal's voice


Thumharay papa ki tabiyat kharab ho gayi hai. Maine abhi tablets diye hain isilye voh yahan araam karengay she said


Yahan? Lekin ma yahan kiyun..aapkay paas bhi tho bed hai na. Voh two sofas ko join ker lijiye aur voh bed ban jatha hai, his voice echoing desperateness in it.


Niveditha looked at him alarmed. She distinctively remembered what viren told her about their seating being that way. That it could not be separated into two different sofas rather it was just made that way.


Viren looked at sofa and gave her a guilty grin as he realized that niveditha had now figured out his big secret!


Viren, yahan khamoshi hai, agay sabhi hai tho shor bhi tho hai na. Thum dono agay aakay bait jao aur thori dair kay baad jawahar ut jayengay…she said with finality in her voice.


Lekin ma..mom!! viren called out to her as chanchal made it towards the front section without looking back


SH. He was about to curse but he looked at niveditha and turned his face away mumbling.


Hum agay jaker bait jathay hain vaise bhi thori dair main rukhna hai na, tho kya faraq partha hai , she explained..


Viren who was fuming with anger continued mumbling under his breath and followed niveditha who had headed towards Divya's section.


Kya hua nivi asked divya as she sat down besides her.


Niveditha explained to her the situation in a matter of fact tone while divya's face turned brighter with every word. She started grinning and looked at viren..


Abh aap kiyun ithni kush ho rahi hain , asked viren annoyed


Aapnay humaray saat waqt bithanay ka nirnay jo liya hai isiliye… divya retorted back hardly supprising her grin.


Viren pointed an angry finger at her,


BHabi!!


Nivi thum meray paas yahan baito aur viren thum udhar sidharth kay paas tikhay.. she said in a mocking manner.


Viren angrily sat down besides sidharth, who was busy reading a book.


Viren looked at him with a disgusted expression on his face. Bhaiyyah aap inko sehthay kaise hain? He whispered to sidharth who shushed him.


Ye kya batain ho rahi hai thum dono main , she asked shrewdly


Kuch nahi, said viren clapping his hands into a prayer like fold


Aap please meharbani kerkay kuch leker aayengi.. mujeh pyas lag rahi hai. He asked her


Viren, thumhay humesha bhuk kiyun lagthi hai. Abhi tho breakfast kiya tha na. aur do do cup chai ki bhi pee li. Divya complained


Jab koi ithna hatta katta ho tho use apnay khaan paan ka dhyan rakhna partha hai.. retorted viren .


Uff.. divya got up angrily


Rehnay do di main le ker aathi hun. Niveditha interrupted


Acha main bhi chaltha hun, said viren getting up


Aap kiyun ja rahe hain, voh le ker aa rahi hai na, said divya


Nahi nahi bhabi, hum chotay aapkay saamnay khaye, aur aap bas aise hi baiti rahay? Tauba, ye tho sahih nahi hai na.. main abhi aapkay liye garam garaam samosay le ker aatha hun. Kiyun niveditha chalay, Viren said in a very gentle manner.


Viren thum baito, humay koi cheez ki zaroraat nahi hai abh. Said sidharth

Kiyun, koi baat nahi bhai main leker aatha hun. Argued viren


Just then vandana came to their table with snacks and juice. Seeing that viren's face fell and he sat down on his sofa with a thud.


Divya laughed out loud with sidharth and niveditha smiling slightly.


Kya hua divya thum sab has kiyun rahe ho, asked vandana smiling at her.


Kuch nahi ma she said. Vandana shrugged at them and left the table


Divya and sidharth started to talk about some client and how sidharth was handling him. He also included viren in the topic but viren, it seemed had turned momentarily deaf


After a good fifteen minutes later viren who was bored out of his mind turned towards sidharth and asked


Bhai, thum bhabi ko clients kay baray main bata rahe ho?


Kiyun viren, agar kaam kay abray main discuss karay tho , meri samaj sey ye acha hotha hai. Aur divya bohot supportive he added with a slight shade of longing in his tone.


Viren shook his head and said


Bhai, thumhara kuch bhi nahi hoga. I am sure bhabi naraz hai aapsey. He said in a very serious tone


Sidharth now paying complete attention to viren replied


Kiyun.. kuch kaha kya divya nay?


Nahi .. lekin I am sure ki unko bhi romantic dates pasand hongi aur hum tho bahar trip main aye hue hain tho aap bhabi ko akele main ghumanay kiyun nahi leker jaathay?


Sidharth was thinking on his words. Viren looked at him shrewdly and continued


Han bhai, ek kaam kariye is paper main aap likh dijiye ga ki , main thumhay ek jagah leker jana chahtha hun, akele main .. chalogi. Aur usko dheeray sey bhabi ko pakda dijiye…. And matter done! Said viren with a clap


At which divya turned to him


Kya hua..


Viren just shook his head in a no.


Come on bhai.. ye lo … aur likho pushed viren


Sidharth, took the pen and wrote..


Mujhe thumhay ek jagah dikhani hai, chalogi meray saaath? Akele main


He showed the note to viren and viren gave it a thumbs up


Viren asked sidharth to crumble the paper and throw it to divya but at the precise moment divya and niveditha had chosen to go towards where chanchal, vandana and yashodhara were sitting

Abh kya karun asked sidharth to viren worriedly.


Are jaldi bhai, abhi 10 main main hum phir rukh jayengay aur bhabi tho phir ma aur tayiji kay chakkar main hi reh jayegi.. said viren in a hurried tone.


Hearing that sidharth threw the crumbled up paper towards their direction and it landed in middle of the table, clearly visible to chanchal, vandana, yashodhara , bhupat, niveditha and divya.


Oh my God! Cried sidharth and he buried his face in a book, hiding it.


Vandana took the paper and looked around. She found sidharth reading and viren fiddling his flute. She then opened up the paper and read from it.


As her eyes flew across from one end to the other of the paper , a smile appeared on hers.


Viren! She called him. Kahan jana chahthay ho thum , she asked him


Viren , ran across the aisle and stood behind niveditha and said with an innocent look on his face,


Kya hua tayiji.. ?


Vandana then gave the paper to nivi


Ye galthi sey meray paas aaker gira hai, she said with a small giggle.


Abh kya kiya hoga isne thought niveditha as she took the paper and read it. Niveditha turned red with embarrassment. Viren who was standing behind her could feel the heat from her.


Ismain kya likha hai he asked


Acha thumnay nahi pata asked vandana


Nahi tho. Idhar lao niveditha main zara partha hun.


Mujhe thumhay ek jagah dikhani hai, chalogi meray saaath? Akele main

Ooo , ma, lagtha hai ye papa nay aapkay liye beja hai, said viren as he saw jawahar just walk past them.


Chup karo viren! Said chanchal angrily as she left to go towards jawahar.


Hmm tho phir ye dadaji.. oh no. no . he said holding his ears as yashodhara gave him a warning look.


Phir tho ye zaroor sidharth bhai nay beja hai bhabi ke liye he said finally.


Sidharth aisa kaam nahi kartha, yashodhara said with her voice filled with pride. Ye tho thum hi nay kiya hoga


Agar aapko yaqeen nahi hai tho tayiji , writing dekhiye, aapko pata nahi chal raha hai , ye bhai ka hai. Hai naa bhabi…. He asked divya with a slight nudge.


At that point divya's hands started to go cold.


Are han ye tho sidharth ki hi writing hai, confirmed vandana.


Sidharth, called vandana..


Yahan aao..


Sidharth came towards their table and with his head down he looked everywhere but at his mom.


At this vandana and yashodhara started to laugh.


Agar apni biwi ko ghumanay leker hi jana tha tho , sidha ussey hi puchlethay.. chit likhnay ki kya zaroorat thi.. vandana asked.


Sidharth, who was confused for a second and thought that yes they were right. He could have asked her directly. Why did he write? She was his wife.. so there was no need for that.


He then glared at viren angrily as he was the one who suggested this wonderful idea to him.


Sidharth looked at him threateningly as if to say, thu bahar chal main dekhna hun.


Dekha tayiji , saray mujhe hi galat samajthay hain , viren complained in a child like manner.


Acha baba sorry, thumnay nahi likha tha lekin thum bhi tho niveditha ko leker jaa sakthay ho.


Tho thum charon ghum aao hum yahan guide kay saath tour ker lengay teekh hai vandana said looking at them


Teekh hai na ma she confirmed with yashodhara.


Yashodhara agreed with a smile as bhupat also laughed at their sweet gestures.


Viren who was standing behind niveditha, slowly put his hands on her waist at which she looked up –startled.


Thankfully no one had noticed her sudden reaction.


She could feel his hands touching her skin. Viren came closer to her from behind and whispered in her ears


"chalogi …"


Niveditha slowly put her hands on his and removed them from her waist and turned around. Viren was standing right in front of her.


Chalogi? He mouthed slowly


At this niveditha quickly turned little to the side and walked away towards divya's section.


Suchi- thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#85
Thanks everyone!!!
and thanks navzzz : ))) Thanks milee!!

every encouragement means a LOTT to me


salekh1 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#86

OMG OMG OMG..

Viren is sucha a flirt...
😃
gmann2010 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#87
when wrote Nivi and Viren proceeded towards their section of RV, I was anticipating a romantic moment with eager heart but then with Viren's you have punctured my bubble too. 😆 Yaar Itni saari KMH. But I am loving Viren and DIvya's nok-jhoks. I liked Viren giving his gyan of romance to his big bro, Sid seriously needs it. 😉 Haye ram yeh Sid ka kuch nahi ho sakata. Sid ka nishana bhi sahi nahi lagata. Anyways all's well that ends well. I have immensely enjoyed this fun filled ride. Thanks sweetie. 🤗
Sofna thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#88
i got goosebumps reading these updates......😳
lams thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#89
Suchi di ... OMG !!! loved it !!!! am so happy that you have created all characters so good and nice like Sasural Ghenda Phool !!! at least right now even YD is behaving good and CC too in ur retreat 😊😊😊
Will we get some romantic moments ???? Sigh cant wait
I know CCBM will never turn this way as its a typical Saas bahu conspiracy thing ..bas aapka hi assra hain 😃😃😃
Alaria thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#90
Suchi, you get better and better! Thank you. 🤗

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