After a long silence, that felt more comforting than awkward, Armaan sighed and said, 'Why is life such a b*tch?'
Shilpa kept looking ahead and shook her head slowly, 'I don't know'
Armaan looked at her for a moment, 'Thanks for the tablet. It helped'
Shilpa smiled and looked at him, 'You don't need to be embarrassed Armaan. It happens with me all the time. I'm sure I must have said stupid things too', she paused for a moment and then said, 'It's okay. I'm not judging you'
Her assurance eased his tension a bit. He hadn't expected the 'daru night' to turn out to be so wild. But he was glad Shilpa said that. It was as if she had read his mind and said exactly what he wanted to hear. He smiled back in response.
'Thanks', he said.
Shilpa made a mock-annoyed face and said, 'Remember what I told you the other day? I don't like these pleasantries. They seem superficial to me. So no more 'thanks' or 'sorry' and the other bullshit, okay?'
Armaan continued to smile and nodded, 'Okay'
And then the silence returned. Armaan wondered how peaceful and fulfilling silence actually was. Where was the need to exchange words all the time? He turned around to look at Shilpa once again, who seemed to be lost in her own world. For some odd reason, he connected with her at very deep level. They may seem different from the outside, but from the inside, something told Armaan that Shilpa was an equally wounded soul. Just when he was about to turn away, he spotted something on her right arm. A tattoo.
Although not surprised by the fact that Shilpa had a tattoo, he was surprised by it's content. A snake wrapped around an electric guitar. It's meaning or symbolism escaped him, but he decided not to ask Shilpa at that moment. He wanted this silent interaction to last.
They sat there like that for few moments before Armaan's pager rang.
'Crap. I have to go. See you later', he said and got up. Shilpa looked up and nodded, 'Yeah, okay. See you'
He smiled at her and then walked out. Shilpa continued to stare the door for a long time after he left, wondering what was it that pulled her towards him. She was quite the anti-social, and hardly knew anyone except of Armaan and well, Dr. Keerti in the whole of Sanjeevani. If anything, she had made a handful of enemies. But with Armaan, it was different. He was quiet, calm, silent...someone she could never be, and yet it seemed as though she had known him for ages.
___________________________
After the duty hours were over, the locker room was full of interns stuffing their stethoscopes and lab coats back into their lockers, getting ready to go back home. Armaan walked in only to be pulled by Sid towards their gang which included JP, Jiggy, Naina, Yuvi and Ridhima. At her sight, Armaan instantly lowered his eyes and avoided any eye contact.
'What is this about?', said Armaan an irritated tone.
'Don't you think it's been a long time since we all sat down and had coffee in the Sanjeevani cafe?', said Sidhant excitedly, 'We all are going to the cafe before going back home'
Armaan was is no mood. He was tired and wanted to go back home, 'But Sid-'
'Not buts. You're coming and that's final', he said firmly.
Armaan looked at everyone's faces, ready to pounce on him if he said no once again, and reluctantly accepted, 'Fine'. There was a soft cheer from the gang.
After everyone had left, the gang made their way towards the cafe, with Sidhant animatedly talking about something, Yuvi and Naina stealing glances at each other and Ridhima uncomfortably looking here and there.
They entered the cafe and walked towards a table. 'Where's Shilpa?', said Armaan suddenly. Everyone stopped in their tracks and looked at him. 'C'mon Armaan, you don't think we'd invite her, do you? I mean, we're a group yaar', said Sid.
'Yes, but now she's a part of this group too', replied Armaan firmly.
'Since when?', Ridhima spoke up suddenly. Her eyes bore into Armaan's, but this time he didn't tear his gaze away. He looked right into her eyes and answered, 'Since she's been my friend'
'Friend? oh c'mon man-'
Sid was cut off by Armaan, 'Look Sid. I know you all don't really like her but we've got to try to include her with us. She's a part of the team now'
Armaan didn't know whether he really wanted her to be a part of the group or whether he just wanted her to be around so he didn't feel left out. Truth was, he had stopped connecting with these people the moment Ridhima had chosen Sid over him. All of them seemed strangers.
Sid sighed, 'Okay, Armaan. If that's what you want'
'But Sid-', Ridhima started.
'It's okay RIdhima. Maybe Armaan's right', Sid said.
Armaaan nodded, 'Okay then, I'll go call her', everyone nodded and sat down around a table. Ridhima looked at Armaan's retreating figure and thought of something.
'I'll..just be back. I think I forgot my phone in the locker room', said Ridhima quickly and got up. Sid looked at her confusedly, it was unlike her to forget something. But guessing that she might have been too stressed, he shrugged it off.
Ridhima caught up with Armaan halfway through the corridor, 'Armaan...Armaan, just a second. I need to talk to you'
He looked at her, 'Ridhima? What are you doing here?'
'I just need to talk to you for a moment. Please?', they both had stopped midway now. Armaan slowly nodded and pointed towards the fire escape. Ridhima shut the door and walked a few steps down before turning towards Armaan.
'Armaan, I...I just wanted to thank you for whatever you've done for Sid and me', she said quietly, 'I mean, our relationship really needed strength and you..well, you were the strength'
Armaan tried to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. No matter how much he tried to detach himself from her words, he simply couldn't. He was a very strong person, but not strong enough to deal with this. He took a deep breath and said, 'Well, you're welcome. Is that it?'
With tears brimming in her eyes, Ridhima walked up a few steps and said, 'Please Armaan. Don't detach yourself. I understand that this is painful-'
That broke his constraint. Hearing the words 'I understand' from her mouth was almost laughable. She had left him all alone, and she understands?
He looked up with hot tears brimming in his eyes, and fiercely gazed at her, 'Don't. Don't ever say that you understand. You don't. You made a choice for yourself, Ridhima, but you're not the only one facing the consequences. You do not understand my pain'
Ridhima was shocked to see him responding so fiercely. He had never displayed such raw emotion with regard to her marriage before. Atleast not to her. She took a step down.
'But Armaa-'
'Please Ridhima. I don't want to talk about this anymore', he said, trying his best to hold her gaze. Tears now threatened to roll down, but he held them back, 'And I don't want any relationship with you. Not even friendship. We're colleagues. That's it'
And with that, he turned around and literally ran out of the fire escape, leaving Ridhima standing on the steps with tears rolling down her cheeks. She had never thought that their beautiful relationship would come to such an end - Incomplete.